Hi RedPill Ladies. This is a throwaway account and I thought before I deleted it in a few days, I'd share some wisdom with you. I'm 30 years old, and have been married since I was 25 to a man who is now the part owner of a Wall Street financial firm and is the grandson of a successful real estate developer. I have a son with him and I am currently a stay at home mother living in a wealthy suburb of southern Connecticut. I'm not saying any of this stuff as a flex. But I realize that many women want to get married and have kids, preferably with a wealthy man so I wanted to talk about my experience. In the context of this post, the term "uneducated" will refer to anything lower than a Bachelor's degree. I do not think people who don't have these academic credentials are stupid or uneducated in a way that would make the illiterate, so please don't take it that way. This post is probably the most beneficial for the college-aged girls in here, but I think it still can be useful if you are older. I will be talking about money, class and education but do not think I'm talking down to anyone else less fortunate than I am, I simply want to tell you what I've been through so please don't take any offense. Some of this advice might be regional as upper class types don't live everywhere, but I can only give you the info that I know.
I fell down a bit of a red pill dating advice rabbit hole last night on youtube and while I consider myself to be rather conservative, I couldn't help but disagree with the narrative that was being pushed around education. Most of the hosts or guests of these shows including The Purple Pill Podcast and Just Pearly Things had negative things to say around women being educated post high school. To me, this indicates to me that they are threatened by women learning things or they are not from the upper middle or upper class of American (or British) society. (And no, simply having a decent amount of money or something like a successful farm does not put you in this category).
I'm from the upper middle class, went to private grade school and then a private college in New York City while living on the Upper East Side. My husband is from a higher social standing than me and there is no way I would have stood a chance if I wasn't educated (I was in the process of getting my degree while he was starting out at the firm would one day own part of). He told me that a college degree was a necessity for his future wife because he wanted someone who was intellectually his equal or who could at least hold a conversation about high brow topics. Furthermore, it is embarrassing in uppercrust circles to have a wife who is not educated. Sure, a guy might show off his hot model girlfriend but she most likely won't be his wife (and if she is, she'll be an ex wife soon enough). These types of people love to show off their degrees and name drop their alma maters. If you can't do that you simply don't fit in.
One of his colleagues married a woman who was a bartender because she is very attractive but in the area where we live, people talk about her like she has a scarlet A on her chest. She is loud, uncloth, covered in cake face makeup, wears stripper-like clothes even though she is over 40, and basically has none of the traits favored by the upper class. This clash has strained their marriage and even has caused problems for their kids at school since they get made fun of for their mother being so clearly out of the place. So even if you do get the guy based on looks alone, it won't be smooth sailing for you if you can't adopt the social traits of his class. Also mothers of the men you are interested in in this set will have college degrees and will not like to see a daughter in law less educated than they are.
So no, getting a college degree is not going to price you out of the dating market, it could even help you move up the social ladder.
However, just getting a degree is not going to land you a wealthy husband. Here is how to increase your chances of getting an uppercrust man (if you are not from the upper class yourself) in college or shortly after based on my personal experience and the experience of women in my social circle.
- Don't go into debt willy nilly to get the degree. Instead, go to community college for 2 years and then transfer in your junior year. Don't whine about wanting the classic college experience or not getting to post TikToks of your acceptance letter. That won't matter when you're single in your 30s or your future husband doesnt want to take on the debt even if he could afford it. It is easier to get accepted into any college as a transfer than as a freshman as long as you are in good academic standing at your prior school. When you graduate, you get the same degree as everyone else but for half the price. If you do have a scholarship or your parents did have their act together enough to have a college fund for you, of course use it but don't take on 200k loans just because.
- Be smart about your major. Don't do the arts or the humanities. Take it from me, I'm an English major. It did help me impress some of these upper class people because of my knowledge of classic literature but overall, not a good investment. If you have a passion or side interest, let that be your minor instead. Chances are the more practical majors like business, economics, math etc,. will have more men in it. That statistically ups your chance of meeting a guy regardless of status instead of my english classes that had like 3 guys in them and most of them were gay. In these classes, don't be a pushy competitive asshole. I've seen girls shout down/speak over professors and students alike because they HAD to be viewed as the smartest one in the room. Nothing says third wave feminism like this. It's off putting and annoying to everyone in the room. No one wants to get with the girl that got into a heated debate with them in class and then glouted when they won. And no, I'm not saying play dumb and keeo quiet. Answer the profs questions, do the assignments, get good grades, just don't be a dominating loud mouth.
- Make friends with kids from upper class families. No, I'm not saying follow the trust fund baby around like a puppydog. But don't be afraid to network and not just make friends. Even if you have no real "old money" in your college, finding a kid with successful parents who own businesses is always a plus for a potential future career. If you make friends with rich girls, they can introduce you to their brother, cousin, family friend etc., who might be a good match for you once they can trust you and welcome you into their inner circle. If you're making friends with a wealthy boy, don't sleep with him (or any guy) or do any sexual acts with him unless he is giving you a commitment. Rich guys are used to women being easily impressed and allowing themselves to be used for the privilege of having a rich lifestyle for a few weeks or months. Make it clear you are not one of those girls in how you carry yourself, speak, act etc. Obviously, if these kids are awful abusive people who disrespect you, don't hang out with them even for the social opportunities that come with them. (And for you reading, no most rich people aren't awful people. It is not a given that they will treat you badly. In my life, lower status men have treated me worse than any rich person I've encountered). If no romantic relationships come out of embedding yourself in the rich kid circle, a career opportunity might exist since many of their families are well connected. If they like you and trust you, they will open doors for you. Getting a good internship or job out of school in a place where there are more wealthy people working will help you meet a higher class husband and provide for yourself in the meantime.
- Don't be a crazy party girl. Even if they like to go wild, always be more sober and more in control than they are. Not only does this keep you from sleeping with anyone before commitment but it makes you look better in their eyes because you aren't some lush falling down the stairs at the end of the night.
- Learn about the interests and lifestyles of the upper class. I'm mostly talking about old money here so things like horseback riding, classic cars, sailing, tennis, golf, etc. are things upper class people do or have experience in. Even if you can't afford lessons in those areas, just do some basic googling, especially if you have found the guy you're interested in likes those things or his family does. Knowing the basics and some fun facts about the topics or hobbies he likes will set you apart. My husband loves (and now collects classic cars). He told me most women would gloss over when he talked about cars on dates and change the topic back to the Kardashians (this literally happened). I have had a passive interest in classic American muscle cars so when I told him my dream car is a refurbished 1969 mustang convertible, it set me apart from the other girls from our first or second date.
- Have a career or interests outside of just being a wife and mother but don't go full boss babe. Wanting to be nothing but a wife and mother can be a bit off putting for these guys. They want you to be there to raise the kids and take care of the house when the time comes but if you're in your 20s and you have nothing going on in your life because you're waiting for a man to make you a wife, he is gonna pass. He is also gonna pass if you're busy focusing on your career, bragging about how you don't need a man, and having casual flings until you're 35. Be interesting and provide for yourself until you don't have to but don't make it more important than your future as a wife and mother.
- Look for husband material while you're still in college even if you have to look off campus. Don't completely freak out around fertility. I've seen girls on here and other subreddits worried about their fertility at age 18-22. Girls relax, don't put that much pressure on yourself. Unless you have some gynecological condition, you don't need to panic at this age. However, you can still use your youth to your advantage at this time. If you're wife material at 19-25 years old (even if you don't get married right away) you still have a huge advantage over the girls going through their "I just want to have fun" hoe phase. Wealthy men of all ages want younger women. If you look for husband material now while putting in the work to be wife material, you're increasing your odds of getting married and having kids sooner than women your age. Don't let your college years or your 20s be for "just finding yourself". You don't get a decade of your life to do whatever, that's a modern myth. If there is no one in your school who is what you're looking for, try other colleges or even men who are out of their college years who work nearby, especially in higher end jobs. Again, you're not going to get these guys for anything real by dressing slutty and partying with them. You have to play the long game, adopt the social manners, values, and cues of the upper class and not waste your time on men who are wasting your time.
For women older than college years and may even be in their 30s. There are older men in these social classes who are divorced and looking for a second wife. While it may not be everyone's dream to have a man with an ex wife, you can use these same lessons to get into their good graces because many of them are good providers.
None of this is meant to say you should turn down a good, loving, stable man who happens to be a middle or working class. If he loves you and provides you a stable life even if it isn't fancy, that is amazing and you shouldn't shoot that down for the chance of something better. A man who loves you and is loyal to you is far more valuable than a guy with a large bank account. I'm just saying if you want to social climb like I did and some of the women I know, use your education, knowledge of interests related to him and his family and poised demeanor to indicate you are worthy of commitment and fit in with his social class.
(Side note, don't listen to a word Andrew Tate says. There are very few old money wall street guys who actually know who he is and those who do make fun of him. He is a new money scam artist who won't actually help women (or men) find happiness in their relationships or stable streams of income.)