I often see articles (listicles) pop up on my Facebook feed that make it perfectly clear as to why masculinity is where it is today.
I won't direct link the original source because I don't want to feed them any more traffic, but this is from ThoughtCatalog for reference.
As many examples can attest, straight lies are often less harmful than misinformation sprinkled in with the truth. You're much more likely to accept fiction as fact if it's surrounded with more reasonable examples - so I thought I'd go through what this male BP author (who is clearly white-knighting) wrote (all 10 bullet points, hooray for content these days) and extrapolate from it.
- A man will own up to his mistakes. A boy will make excuses for them.
Starting out on a fairly okay note. An RP man is aware of when he makes mistakes, and takes action to correct them - whereas a beta will find a way to use it to feed his victim complex. We are responsible for everything that happens to us, period. This is good, because it means everything is in our control.
However, remember this article is in reference to dating a 'man' vs a boy from the perspective of a woman.
What I read from this is plain and simple appeasement. The author, from my reading, is saying that a 'man' will take responsibility for things that go wrong in the relationship.
And so the beta white-knighting begins.
- A man will respect your purity. A boy will let his desires control him.
Purity. Purity. So a woman who can rationally be expected to have had sex with other men before has now reverted to a state of 'purity' because she has not yet fallen on this brave soldier's cock.
I've seen this before, and it's hamstering 101. Born-again virgins abound. No, you see I'm not like that anymore. Those were just mistakes I had to make growing up.
And just like that, the female agency is gone again.
Beyond that, wanting to have sex is considered disrespectful and makes you a 'boy,' according to this individual. I guess he's happy to orbit and wait indefinitely while she rails Chad, but I digress.
- A man will respect you no matter the circumstance. A boy will respect you when he wants something in return.
An RP man will respect you when you demonstrate values deserving of respect. A BP man will respect you no matter how many 'mistakes' you make with Brad and Taylor on your girl's nights out.
The boy part of this equation really is BP though. Respect when you're angling to get something to me stinks of covert contracts, which absolutely never work and are one of the main cruxes of beta frustration. If you feel that you're owed anything (including sex) because you're nice and show respect, prepare for disappointment. RP men understand that they get what they want by working on themselves to raise their SMV, not because they held doors and did favours with expectations.
- A man will do whatever it takes to provide. A boy will make excuses as to why he can’t provide.
Oh boy.
And here is case and point Beta Bux, coming to rear his ugly head.
According to the author, if a man can't / won't / doesn't want to provide, he's a boy. Because women in relationships have the god-given right to be taken care of - otherwise you're nothing but a sniveling child.
You know what, take this advice if you want to. Just don't be surprised when the wife you bought the mansion, Mercedes, Louboutins, and diamonds for still fucks the pool boy.
- A man will prepare for the future. A boy lives in the moment.
This is one of those 'truths' salted in here that make articles like this dangerous. Yes, an RP man does plan for the future. He works on things that offer delayed gratification vs the instant gratification of blowing wads of dough at the bar every weekend, gaming excessively when work needs doing, or eating shit food because it's easy and tasty.
That being said, even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
- A man looks to gain the respect of your family. A boy look to gain popularity from people around him.
An RP man seeks to gain the respect of your family if he feels they are in turn deserving of his respect. There's nothing wrong in my opinion in desiring the respect of your in-laws if they're honest, hard-working people who you admire and seek to emulate.
What's wrong here on the 'man' side of this bullet-point is two-fold.
One is confusing respect with validation. If you're chasing the respect of your in-laws because you feel without their validation you're worthless, you're nothing better than the guy who seeks validation of his self-worth through women.
Second, who says they're worthy of respect at all? What if they're low-lifes? What if they have no redeeming qualities? What if they have no bearing on your life at all - why should any self-respecting man 'work' to earn their respect?
As for the part about a boy seeking to 'increase his popularity by those around him,' it sounds barely tangentially related to the 'man' side of that equation, if at all. If you're comparing parents to popularity, you're clutching at straws at best here.
- A man is firm in his beliefs. A boy changes his beliefs depending on the girl.
Another nugget of wisdom. Don't change your principles for a woman, ever. You are who you are, they are who they are. Don't turn yourself into a yes-man for a chick, because not only will she lose attraction to you for being a pushover, but when she invariably leaves your ass - you'll have no idea who you really are.
- A man has integrity. A boy makes promises he knows he cannot keep.
Not bad. I'm of the opinion that you should always keep your word whenever possible, and not to give that word unless you're 98% sure you can make it happen. I'm not sure what this has to do with making you a man and not just not a shitty person, but alas there's a lot more to deal with in this article.
- A man will always take an opportunity to learn. A boy thinks he knows everything.
Again, sure - but how this separates a boy from a man is meh. When I was growing up and still very much a boy, I always wanted to learn. If you were an arrogant youth, being open to new ideas is a sign of maturity - but with everything else this author has contrasted, I'm not sure how this directly relates to masculinity specifically.
- A man seeks more than just beauty. A boy seeks beauty so he can show off.
A half-truth. The only nuggets of wisdom here are that since a man seeks more than just beauty, it's implied that an overweight intellectual girl who doesn't shower even twice a week isn't going to outweigh the smart, high-value woman who actually puts work into maintaining her looks.
TL:DR - Articles like these mix pieces of truth in with some very damaging ideals, which further reinforce the beta provider programming in men. It's not getting any better.
Stop waiting for the world RP awakening. It's not coming. If you're going to read articles (first off, avoid TC) keep an objectively critical view of the content.
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