Let yourself get hit.

In the martial arts world, there is something known as iron stomach. The idea is that someone can train their stomach to withstand powerful blows. Until about a year ago, I thought that it was a myth.

I mean, I knew the stomach could be toughened up enough to take a glancing blow (boxers and MMA fighters use medicine balls to do this all the time) but I never thought the idea of hitting someone full force in the gut and them laughing it off was possible.

That was when I met a "guru." This guy was pretentious, smelly, and annoying. My hopes were not high. He was training with a friend, and offered to heal my sore throat. I was willing to give it a try, because fuck it, but I asked if he needed to touch my throat to heal it. He informed me he needed to jab it. So I told him no. Very kindly, actually.

This offended The Guru.

He felt an urge to show off his powers. So he invited me to punch him as hard as I could in the stomach. I didn't want to be rude, so I did.

And, to my surprise, it felt like punching a brick wall. There was an audible WHAP and everyone turned to look at what the noise was. I was honestly impressed. He seemed disappointed. He asked me to punch again and I said that I was impressed and that I didn't need to.

"Oh," he said glumly, "Most people hurt their hand when they do it."

So, he truly was a douche, and I was truly grateful that I didn't hurt my hand.

But what's the point of this? Well, this dude had been through some pretty serious training to get his Iron Stomach. According to him, they started off just tapping his stomach, then hitting it, then moving to fucking hammers. And I believe it.

He let himself get hit. Over and over and over again, he stood there and didn't move as people beat the shit out of him. And as much as this guy is an annoying dickhead, I have to respect him for that.

And you know what? That's exactly what you and I need to do too. In everything.

How do you get good approaching woman? Is it the few successes you have. Yeah, of course. But more than that, it's the million times you get shot down. The first time it stings. You're nervous, so you act like a bumbling idiot. It's like you just got punched in the gut, and now you're on the floor gasping for air. But you get up, and you do it again.

Another rejection? Fuck. But you know what, it didn't hurt so bad that time. And you were a lot calmer. You go again and again, until you become a smooth motherfucker, not afraid of the consequences and totally at ease.

This is one of the things that separate us from woman. Men need to be hit. We need to fail. We need adversary to get stronger. We need to taste defeat, so that we can be strong enough to taste victory.

The thing is, woman may be the LEAST important aspect of this principle. This holds true in business, social skills, art, lifting, everything.

But you know what's funny? Once you have been hit enough, woman will come to YOU. Because they will see what kind of man you are. Indestructible. Unbreakable frame. But you can't just FAKE it. They can tell. You need to be shot down. You need to have let yourself be vulnerable and put yourself on the line. Only then can they see your hard earned invulnerability.

The book Models has a whole chapter on this, where he argues that showing vulnerability actually shows strength. This is because the fact that you put yourself out there shows bravery and outcome independence. In other words, you are not afraid to get hit.

Now I'm not saying tell a woman ANYTHING that she can use against you. But if you like Star Trek, fucking say it if it comes up in conversation. And be damn ready for a shit test from a girl or a guy trying to AMOTG you. But if you hold frame and really don't care, you're gonna come out on top regardless. I've seen it.

If you don't let yourself get hit, you're gonna be weak. If you are weak, you will fail. You will blow that chance, because you have no experience.

So let yourself get hit.