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[–]skiptomylou1231 56 points57 points58 points 10 years ago (23 children) | Copy Link
Why would you just randomly walk into a liquor store without saying anything? Just have some stuff at your place.
[–]skiptomylou1231 39 points40 points41 points 10 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link
Also just re-reading this now:
You will likely deal with some ASD/LMR. Just keep escalating. Do not ask her to go to your room. Just lead her there. Pick her up if you can and carry her to your room. If she gives you a hard no at any point and pushes you away, you should stop. Most of the time though, you will get 'soft' no's.
I just don't agree with this part one bit. If she gives you an outright 'no', that still means no. If a girl seems hesitant about wanting to sleep with you, picking her up and carrying her to your room is NOT the way to go. Pour yourselves a glass of wine, let her relax, and escalate from there.
[–]TheCuriousDude 12 points13 points14 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This is why I never had a problem with the "freeze out". Regardless of whether it's a "soft no", say something along the lines of "Okay" or "I don't wanna do anything you're uncomfortable with" and just cease any escalation and physicality. If the girl wants to fuck, she will escalate. Why should you do all the work?
[–]skiptomylou1231 3 points4 points5 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I agree 100%, seriously what's such a big deal about just waiting for a second date to have sex?
[–]jdepps113 5 points6 points7 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
She keeps telling you no, you keep pushing her, then you pick her up and carry her to your room?
Has it ever occurred to you that this might be sort of, uh...rapey?
[–]skiptomylou1231 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes I did, that's what my post basically says without all the snark.
[–]amadeus_x-9 points 10 years ago* [recovered] (14 children) | Copy Link
A lot of no's mean "actually yes, but I'm kinda nervous and excited because I'm really into you". You'll usually see a very obvious shy smile in these situations. And then you should make a move, because she wants you to. When you're nervous about something, you also want others to give you a push.
But yea, if in doubt, back off.
Edit: I'll try to clarify once. You guys seem to have a different understanding of soft no's. If I reach out to hold her hand, and she pulls away, gives me a bright smile and says "oh, stop it!" and with an obvious flirty vibe and obviously enjoying it, then that's a soft no. This actually means "continue, I like it" and not "stop touching me right now or I'll call the police". And this is a frequent dynamic that comes in all sorts of variations on a date, and you only need a minimum of social intelligence to distinguish hard no's from soft no's. And, as I said, if in doubt, stop. I'm not talking about aggressively forcing anything here.
[–][deleted] 14 points15 points16 points 10 years ago* (7 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, even a soft "no" means no. Any no, especially during escalation or sex, means stop. That's how consent works
Your kind of mentality will get you a nice rape charge and jail time
[–][deleted] 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well, yeah. Either she's on her period and no one wants to have sex on a girl's period, or she doesn't want to have sex with you that night.
[–]kluger 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Nope, soft rejection is part of a lot of girls seduction game. There's a Ted talk about it. A girl talks about it and Cuban dancing. Pushing doesn't mean forcing sex. It just means a back and forth. A dance if you will. You don't have to get forceful and rapey.
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
In the court room, any "soft no" means there is no consent.
A "soft no" can mean that she is into you, but she doesn't want to have sex with you that night. You can probably push her into it, but that's a huge risk and not worth it.
[–]kluger 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
rape is a hugely serious crime. you should stop yelling rape so willie-nillie. most people can tell the difference between a couple of coy nos and forcibly entering a girls vagina. stop with the nonsensical babble. a lot of times a girl will say no a couple of times to make you feel like she doesn't just give it away. don't toss around rape allegations like they're water.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm saying that legally, it is considered that
[–]kluger 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
that's arguable http://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/rape
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
But, there is a big difference between a push and carrying aperson to your room.
[–]cdscholar 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You know what also makes people nervous: actually saying no. If someone says no assume they mean no full stop do not "give a push." This is seriously irresponsible and terrible advice!
[–]StoneColdJane 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
simple pickup got it right with "no" if she smile no mean yes, and continue.
[–]Munt_Custard 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It's like that Louis CK bit where a woman says no so he stops, then he sees her a few weeks later and she says that she wanted him to keep going. " Oh so I was supposed to rape you and hope that it was ok?"
[–]altiuscitiusfortius 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4hNaFkbZYU
Are you out of your fucking mind? You think I was just gonna rape you on the off chance youre into that shit?
[–]Munt_Custard 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank you for the correct quote. I was on my phone on lunch break and thus too lazy to find it.
[–]tuxedoburrito 8 points9 points10 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
For sure. Keep a bottle of wine or something in your fridge for this.
[–]deathbymidget 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If worst comes to worst you can always beat them round the bead with the bottle to calm them down. I've found wine bottles have the perfect balance for this
[–]RobinKennedy23 21 points22 points23 points 10 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
From my experience, girls don't like it when I sit next to them instead of across from them. However I have no problem with kino, I pretend I can do some palm reading bullshit and they like that.
[–]LordGSO 15 points16 points17 points 10 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
What is this?
[–]strppngynglad 6 points7 points8 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Doesn't get sexier than that imo
[–]chicos240 13 points14 points15 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Don't over think sitting next to her. Make the place do the work for you, if going for drinks, pick a bar, you have to sit next to her. If no bar space, pick a four top table and sit at a 90 degree angle from her. Look her in the eyes, take a relaxed sitting position, alternate from moving close when listening and chill out when talking. Then start moving close in when telling a good story, lower your voice, make her move close by trying to listen to your quiet, relaxed, comforting voice.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Booth?
[–]chicos240 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Booth, if its circular it's easy. Let her choose where she wants and just plop down at 90. If it's a bench booth, avoid it. If you have no choice, then take a seat in front of her but at an angle, as you progress in your palm reading/hand kino, if she's into it, after meal or 2nd drink, get up go to bathroom, come back and sit next to her.
[–]ndatoxicity 3 points4 points5 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm with you. It can be a bit weird or awkward if you haven't spent much time with her and you just plop down next to her - but if you can pull it off go for it. I'll throw in I usually look at/compliment their jewelry or nails and get a closer look by holding their hand/arm. YMMV for a lot of this stuff depending on the girl
[–]Maarlin 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hahaha that sentence is hilarious somehow idk
[–]JohnC53 9 points10 points11 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I like all these, but I know a lot of girls who are done and OVER with drink dates. They said if they agree to every guy that wants to go get a drink, they'd be drinking 24/7. (And a lot of them love to drink - they just grave more original, thoughtful ideas).
So I try to put emphasis on checking something out, trying a new spot in town, seeing an activity, something spontaneous, even if there will be drinks. Nothing elaborate on the first date. I don't spend much money. Sometimes zero $.
I have very good success getting to date #2.
(I've noticed this more as I get older. Women in their earlier 20's may not be sick of this yet).
[–]phatnig 8 points9 points10 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Great tips, thanks.
[–]pop_ebp7 points 10 years ago* [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link
but what about the food :O
[–][deleted] 28 points29 points30 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Cook her up a cockmeat sandwich.
[–]josolsen 5 points6 points7 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
<:L>
[–]ninjamuffin 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Panini style
[–]benmarvin 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Mom's getting hungry.
[–]the_life_is_good 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Something fancy, but not something absurd. Be sure you have wine that compliments it so you look like a badass.
[–]PM_ME_4_COKE_HOOKUP 36 points37 points38 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
How to catch a rape charge 101, by /u/flying-thunder-god
[–]letsgofightdragons 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Super rapey in the end. Girl friend agrees.
[–]PM_ME_4_COKE_HOOKUP 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lying, intimidation and deception get girls fucking wet dude.
[–]cpmtaz 43 points44 points45 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Just because your dick is soft, does not mean you don't have a dick. A "soft no" is still a no. Dick.
[–]rlh1271 9 points10 points11 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yeah! And women don't have fantasies about being physically taken by a strong sexy powerful man. That's why 50 shades was so unpopular. OP sucks.
[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think taking advice from 50 Shades on your first date woman is overall a terrible fucking idea.
Lol you don't understand how this works.
Fwb right now as an example. Last night were having sex and she's saying hold me down, fuck my ass, use me like your whore, etc. She's ridiculous. I'm not bragging like I'm not really even that into that shit.
Anyways she texts me today upset and says "Why dont we ever go on dates. I'm sad, I feel like you only use me for sex"
[–]smo0f 3 points4 points5 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Regarding the 'most people work till 5' comment - this is true, but either way, if you know they're working till a certain time, and they have no objections to any specific time for meeting up, give them time to shower and get ready (shaving/trimming, make-up, etc) after work. Two hours might not be enough, I say 3 is safe. Otherwise the chances of having physical contact are strongly diminished. From my experience, for most girls, if they don't feel their sexiest they are not gonna take off their clothes, or let you get near them.
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 10 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
STOP reading too literally into the post. This was intended to be an overview, not law.
Taking a girl into the liquor store falls under 'moving'. For more info, aka not 'just an overview' as I stated, check out GirlsChase.com. Having stuff at your place is good too. Good God lol.
As far as the soft no, once again...that is discretion. Get your panties out of a bunch. If you have experience, you understand how this works. This is going to seem controversial because most men are very beta, not dominant, and dependent on female approval. Beta's get laid too, it just takes longer because they 'respect women'. I pick the girl up after its obvious she wants to go further...this is nuance, its a skill. I can't teach you that in an overview.
Thanks to everyone who could take this post for what it is. An attempt to aid you land the 2nd date or make the best of the situation. I have a lot of experience and wanted to share my observations. Do what you want, my way isn't the only way but it has worked for me.
[–]powertheqwerty 7 points8 points9 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Because they 'respect women'? Why was this part in quotes?
[–]BLOODY_CUNT 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think it's to do with betas putting them on a pedestal and treating them like the mention of sex or anything forward is rude, to avoid any possibility of rejection.
It's in quotations because really they just want to sleep with them, but they're taking the ultra safe beta route.
[–]sunday_silence -2 points-1 points0 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
because Thunder God might also respect women he just doesnt have to accept a minor rebuff as a firm no. So respect has various meanings in the context of what he is saying? Is this really that hard to understand?
[–]Coop_the_Poop_Scoop 3 points4 points5 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
OP is a fag.
[–]ohmyganja 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I get it, man. I totally get it. I think this is an awesome post and wanted to thank you!
[–]thedude34 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is all about stacking the deck in your favor. It works, and I love it!
[–]Gamma_Male_ 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I would say go with this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEptbIHCfP0
[–]StoneColdJane 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is the best fucking tip I had for first date. Tell her you listen ASMR videos for relaxation, more then likely she will have no clue wtf is that, this is where you offer to demonstrate how to make her tingle down her spine. Get close to her ear and start whispering something, then proceed with sksksksksks.
More then likely she will not get tingles, but who cares you made something no one had ever done, plus you get shit load of kino.
I got this idea as I listen to ASMR videos, and wanted to see can I make someone tingle, I failed with everyone I tryed but that doesn't even matter.
ASMR sksks https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOGzMJZFODM
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I came in hopes that I would help others and learn more myself, but underestimated how deep beta programming is. I'll just keep getting better and getting laid, I can't help a lot of you 'seducers'. Good luck!
[–]Obeypedobear -1 points0 points1 point 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
What I'm curious about is: What happens if I don't want to pay for her drinks? Does this hinder any further escalation? Any experiences with this?
Good post by the way.
[–]RiskyClickardo 6 points7 points8 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You can fight it and be the principled dude that doesn't pick up the tab. But it's tacky, IMHO.
It's one thing if you meet a girl in a bar—I don't start buying drinks for that girl. She hasn't done anything to earn them. On the other hand, if a girl agrees to let me take her out, I think you look like a game-playing robot if you refuse to pay.
If money is an issue, pick something free (walk down the beach, go for a hike, etc). But if it's just the principle that's keeping you from wanting to pay, suck it up and just eat the $20–$40. My experience has been that it's worth it.
[–]bittr_n_swt 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
yh i hate paying for the girl, which is why i suggest you both buy rounds, so you both pay
[+]grass_cutter -9 points-8 points-7 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don't take this the wrong way but 'grab a bite' sounds so dated and geriatric. I'd guess you're late 30s, but I could be wrong.
The rest seems fine except for reading too much into 'two drinks' -- in my town, everyone drinks like a fish and it don't mean much. Assume DTF from the moment she walks in anyway, but yeah.
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