Advice for girls/women

tjger · 2017-11-21T23:03:00+00:00

Well, there's /r/fpua. I also recommend Matthew Hussey on youtube. Sound advice for women.

Now to your questions: looks are important in a community like seddit where you want to aim for the hottest girl there is. That being said, preferences vary from man to man.

If you are honest with yourself when saying you're a 5 out of 10, what I can tell you is that there are ways to increase your attractiveness, and in my humble opinion and preference, it is of hitting the gym and working hard on your body. Also, we like women who are interesting and have things going on in their lives. Say for example you like doing things like yoga, boxing, pole dancing, whatever is that you love, that makes you a more attractive girl as well.

And:

would you be wierded out, or even worse, grossed out, if a girl that is not really very beautiful liked you?

No. Whoever gets "grossed out" or "weirded out" because "someone is not really beautiful like we are" is just plain stupid and ridiculous.

Cheers.

eric_shen · 2017-11-22T01:23:31+00:00

I have a friend (a dude) who's a solid 10 in all aspects and if I didn't know her I'd say he's dating a 6, but she's incredibly hilarious, does storyboards for a living, is a leader, a compassionate person and overall a good person to be with which in my opinion definitely bumps her up to like an 8. I'm not just saying this, she becomes attractive the more you know her. So there's that

elolugo · 2017-11-21T22:54:46+00:00

Yeah, as a guy i can say that looks do matter but don't feel sad. A good and simple advice would be go to gym, get a fit body and you should see results in your game, plus is good for your health

Dark_Interval · 2017-11-22T11:47:53+00:00

The visual attractiveness gives boost points only at the beginning, at least for me. However if the girl is beautiful but her personality is nasty, the attractivness just falls apart.

bugxter · 2017-11-22T00:02:11+00:00

This is not a good place to get the idea you need, really. Men and women have different... Let's say, roles, in the seduction process.

If there is one that would apply to both sexes it's to make sure you love yourself first. Make a good assessment of yourself and determination what you like and what you don't like about you, then become the best you you can be. Dates and romance will come up naturally.

5sgteN54 · 2017-11-22T09:51:26+00:00

Just came in here to say I have seen a lot of sexy girls that were previously unsexy.

PICKUPACCOUNT2 · 2017-11-21T22:52:00+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/fPUA

For both sexes, how you carry yourself and act is important. More-so for men, but still so for girls. I went on a few dates with a girl a few months back who wasn't that hot, but I remember thinking she could be way more attractive and have me be more into her if she just carried herself more sexually and tried a little harder.

There was another girl from college who was into me who had a lot going for her but who just didn't seem to try to be that attractive and feminine in dress and attitude, and that made me less interested.

iamavneetsingh · 2017-11-22T05:52:46+00:00

Get your confidence up girl. It's good you know your flaws, but there is no point in making yourself sad about it. Be yourself, be confident. Someday you'll find someone, you'll find someone who'll love you and care for you, no matter how you look or how you behave. But for what you are. :)

Yass_King · 2017-11-22T01:39:55+00:00

Please, please don't ever think that a guy would be weirded out or grossed out if you expressed interest in him, even if he wasn't interested in you.

This is also a common fear among men who don't see themselves as attractive for whatever reason. It's the reason many of them rarely take a chance and ask a girl they like out, flirt openly with them, etc. These guys are terrified that the subject of their admiration will cut them down in a hurtful way.

That's almost never the case, for either gender. The only exceptions are the complete assholes (men and women) who get off on hurting people, or are so insecure themselves that they feel the need to bring others down. If you ever encounter such a person, tell yourself immediately that it's them, not you – that they have issues and are themselves more hideous inside than anything you may think of yourself.

And let me tell you, there are guys out there for you, guys you would like in return. But clearly you're having self-esteem problems about your attractiveness, so I'd heed u/tjger's advice to perhaps get in shape, pursue some fun interests, and otherwise work on yourself and your confidence to the point where you don't fear the potential reaction of men you're interested in.

I feel you. Good luck.

PNRisTheWayToPlay · 2017-11-22T06:30:27+00:00

would you be wierded out, or even worse, grossed out, if a girl that is not really very beautiful liked you?

no, and after being with plenty of women who aren't "beautiful" per se i find personality and character much a bigger catalyst for attraction than her tits and ass (those are nice too but merely like extra toppings). that chemistry in personality grabs my time and investment far longer.

Jacob_961 · 2017-11-22T08:20:56+00:00

Hit the gym. Lose weight. Eat well. Learn a social dance like Salsa.

Neo-Hero · 2017-11-22T09:56:24+00:00

I'd rather be with an enthousiastic 5 then a boring 10. And beauty standards are so relative.

msgs · 2017-11-21T23:32:08+00:00

Ya, be much fitter than most other girls. Learn how to work out effectively and eat properly. Proper diet is 75% of the battle in trimming down. Give yourself 3-6 months before you really start seeing results. Stay with it.

A big bonus is this will likely make you feel better and more confident.

But aside from this, building real confidence is universally attractive.

I think nearly all the inner game discussion is applicable to women as much as men.

Work on your confident banter just like us guys. Eye contact, etc. Appear like you have high value, people will be more likely to see you as being high value.

Be prepared to work to change and improve. Nothing is easy or everyone would improve.

recyclablebanthas · 2017-11-22T04:30:25+00:00

1

David Wygant has a lot of good stuff on one of his channels.

2

Brief note on looks and such: Your BMI or facial appearance are not so significant, as how you take care of yourself and your own health.

I have dated a fair number of curvy girls, but they all took care of themselves. They weren't low energy people who were always getting sick and eating junk food, etc. They were at least TRYING to take care of themselves and finding SOME enjoyment out of being fit, rather than seeing it as something they HAD to do.

You don't need a perfect body, but there's no reason you shouldn't be creating space and time in your own life to take care of your body, IF you are not already. There are a lot of interesting things you can take up too. (If you want suggestions on such options, just ask.)

3

Going to be blunt: rating yourself a 5 doesn't mean much more than you think you're a 5.

Have you ever been in a room full of guys trying to decide on who is a "10?" I have, many times.

There's never any consensus. One man's "10" is another man's "6" or "7." And one guy's "10" is usually rated as a "6" or lower by all the other guys.

I've known girls that I know my friends rated more like a 6 or a 5, that I thought were more like an 8 because of their mindset.

Please consider dropping this whole numbering system nonsense. It's really not worth much. You have NO idea how someone might rate you until you interact with them. But one thing is for sure. If you rate yourself lower, than they'll pick up on the lower confidence and that will drop your chances.

There's no reason not to put yourself out there like a queen, because to some men, you are already one. But if you assume you're not, then you'll change their minds. (I don't mean to act entitled. That's a huge turn-off. I mean to own your own body and its attractiveness.)

michaelsatin · 2017-11-22T07:11:51+00:00

Just take better care of yourself and attractiveness will jump. I have a few advices from me as a man: yoga pants, high heels (as much time you can!), great make up (all the time!), smile, short skirts, no bra (and pushups when you must), and (as other suggested) when hitting the gym focus on your butt (squats, etc.) and be slim. Other than that, become an interesting, warm and loving personality and guys will start hitting on you big time! Oh, and it will get better with time. Good luck!

oblivion6202 · 2017-11-22T08:01:23+00:00

Looks matter -- when you're trying to make an impact across a room with people you've never met. But looks are the icing on the cake, not the cake.

I'd certainly agree that you have to like yourself. Confidence (as opposed to braggadocio, which is just insecurity with bling) matters more than almost anything.

So relax and be nice to people. Talk. Smile at people. Listen. Be interested -- but don't overdo it. And don't lower your expectations, and judge people by the standards you'd want to be judged by -- like, be interested in the content as well as the wrapping.

And -- speaking as a relatively normal, if rather older, guy -- I'd put money on the assertion that most if not all of your guy friends have at least thought about you in those terms, just because testosterone does that. :)

The killer quality is confidence. (Which is easy to say and hard to do, I know.) The twin cores of confidence are integrity and security: so be true to yourself, focus (as others have said) on the stuff that makes you happy, be sociable but not needy, and smile lots.

You have it in you to be awesome.

pickmepeas · 2017-11-22T10:07:48+00:00

Have confidence in everything about you. You are not a 5. You're a fucking 20. Love yourself. Nothing else matters. That is what will get men to gravitate toward you. Shallow men will like shallow qualities.

Turlast · 2017-11-22T15:19:54+00:00

I was never grossed out when a girl I wasn't attracted to was into me. If anything, it feels good.

digitalbitch2 · 2017-11-22T01:41:44+00:00

I can guarantee one of your friends has a crush on you. He is probably thinking he is stuck in the friendzone and posting on here.

WISE_TURD · 2017-11-22T02:33:06+00:00

Lift. Seriously. Google girls who lift

batraz · 2017-11-22T04:23:03+00:00

Learn how to make up. A good make up can add 1-2 points to a girl's appearance.

Build on your strengths. If you have nice tits, emphasize that. If you have a good ass, wear yoga pants. If you have nice legs, wear a skirt.

Also don't forget your youth is a big asset. You may be mediocre among 20 yo girls but still above average in the 20-30 population and probably that will get better in the next few years as you reach your peak. Men are attracted to youthfulness.

Looks matter the most in the initial attraction but your personality is very important as well. A kind and feminine girls' company is much more enjoyable.

FlyePUA · 2017-11-22T04:34:58+00:00

As a woman, I need to ask you this: are you content being where you are looks wise? I know plenty of women who feel they aren't attractive but are content where they are. Which can actually be a bad thing- they don't care about their style, they don't care about their bodies, and what ends up happening is that their appearance, health and even mental health deteriorate.

Many women who are '9s and 10s' did not get where they are because they were naturally born like that (not to say that there aren't any natural beauties!). Many have gotten plastic surgery, practiced their hair and makeup 100s of times, and work out like hell to get to where they are now. Being attractive for 99% of the models walking around is HARD WORK. This is why many people say "I'm gonna be a model! I'm gonna be a MUA! I'm gonna be a dime!" but give up the minute exercise, disciplined diet, and rigorous routine comes in.

Some things you should know as a woman: anyone can become attractive if they work hard enough. Yes the guys were right on lifting but also find physical activities YOU will enjoy like dancing or group fitness or sports or something to get you active and feeling fun. You don't have to do all that contour and highlight shit that women do with makeup but consider wearing it to improve your features (so for example if your skin is a little rough, apply a bit of foundation. no eyebrows? lightly color some in. Or if you wanna do the unicorn hipster stuff go for it) Do things that make you feel happy and glamorous. You deserve to feel that way, it is a practice of femininity that every woman should enjoy in her life.

One more thing- if you do it just to get a man, you may fail. But if you do it for YOURSELF and do it because it makes you feel better and confident and to get your foot into the door (being hotter opens the doors for bigger opportunities like jobs) you're gonna succeed better with that mindset.

Just adding to what everyone else has said here! :3

Muffinfeds · 2017-11-22T02:17:55+00:00

I would love for someone to.

Jigsus · 2017-11-22T06:14:49+00:00

What kind of guys are you looking for?

Dan-tastico · 2017-11-22T06:52:53+00:00

I think women can have a great deal more flexibility here so long as you don't have a specific guy in mind. As long as you're not holding out for bradd the rugby captain i think you can have a decent roster of straight up "nice guys". You'll have to do most of the leg work though at least at first. If you ask them out first and they agree they should hopefully take over from there.I'd date a 5 right now if I had a guaranteed shot.

Ps. My first gf was a 5 and I had a blast with her, I just felt comfortable like we weren't doing each other any favors we were just happy together, find yourself a nerdy guy, cause the light at the end of tunnel may be you.

Sloth-Ibis · 2017-11-22T07:23:35+00:00

Looks aren't important to me in the normal way, what's important to me is weather I'm attracted to the person or not, and looks are only one facet of attractiveness

moh_man · 2017-11-22T08:27:07+00:00

Well for me it's not the look but how a girl grooms. Over grooming is also too plastic. Having said that the biggest turn on for me is the conversation.

In my university there was this girl if I meet on street would give 3-4 but there were tons of people with crush on her, the reason she had an amazing confident personality that drove interest.

queenieofrandom · 2017-11-22T09:37:46+00:00

Can I just say as well, being a virgin at 20 is no big deal and I was in the same boat. You will have sex, don't panic about it. And I'd rate myself a 5 on the looks scale as well. Trust me when I say you're sexy and someone will see that ☺️ Have confidence!

DaygameCoach · 2017-11-22T19:59:49+00:00

Ah, you are female. /r/fpua should be able to help you since it is about women pursuing men. That said, 5's get boyfriends too. You see them all the time in couples. If your standards are at about your level or even slightly higher, you should be ok. Mostly, be in public places or events where there are a lot of people (especially men) and they should approach you. Reading Superflirt and Superdate by T. Cox will help you with the body language skills (including approach-ability).

TinderellaWorldwide · 2017-11-22T21:15:28+00:00

Being a virgin at 20 is not a big deal. Some people are slow starters, it's fine. I like Matthew Hussey - saw a few of his videos, his advice is sound. Being funny is a great asset. I used to be a bit like you and then I hit 23 and my dates flooded in. Be as independent and self-improving as you can - fitness, hobbies, career-wise. You're main aim in life is to be the best version of yourself you can - men are secondary. And once you adopt this mindset, men will naturally flock to you.

And get on tinder. It works amazingly for any girl out there, because we have the power. I feel bad for guys, but it's true. It's not about letting us down - do it for you!

mil84 · 2017-11-23T17:13:23+00:00

being virgin at 20 is pretty normal, maybe its slightly above todays average, but really nothing unusual at all.

Also, you are girl - girls have way more ways to improve their look than guys, so learn how to use them. Makeup, haircut, sexy dress, high heels - that's all here for you, play with that and find out what fits you best. If you are overweight, hit the gym ;)

And I was never grossed out when girl asked me out, so don't think too much, go out and try. It is actually sexy, when girl makes first move.

belazir · 2017-12-10T04:19:39+00:00

I'm always upset that girls/women need to ask this, and my answer is always the same... You are as beautiful and as sexy as anyone else, and you should stop worrying about it.

If you really must rate yourself, just remember.... Most guys would much rather a fun 5 than a self absorbed, self centered 8 who rates herself a 10 and expects special treatment just because of that.

Please, have confidence in yourself and you will shine... As for male friends vs boyfriends - you do realise girls can be in the "friend zone" too, right?

The worst thing you can do is feel desperate and become someone's fuckbuddy in an empty relationship before you've had a crack at something real... Please, love yourself, and you will be loved xx

Veganpuncher · 2017-11-22T05:37:33+00:00

Looks do not equal beauty, at least not in the eyes of any man you would want to call your partner. Don't get me wrong, they are a symptom of beauty, but not its sole source.

Any woman can be attractive - Eat well, work out, play sport, dress appropriately and lead with your best assets - being attractive isn't the problem.

True beauty is defined by St Francis Xavier (I've never seen a better description) as Wholeness; Harmony; and Radiance. That is: Wholeness - having qualities that make a complete person: making the best of yourself, compassion, joix de vivre, a philosophical understanding of your place in the world, a sense of humour etc; Harmony - the ability to meld these qualities into an identifiable personality - being comfortable with who you are; and Radiance - the ability to make people feel better by your presence, alone. It's not about you, it's about how people feel when you're near them.

Just like men, you have to work on you to love yourself, only then will others love you. Set goals, don't be who the person other people think you 'ought to be', shut out outside opinions and set your goals. They get easier and easier to accomplish. When you feel stronger, you'll meet better people. People who deserve you.

PM me for more.

PrettyBlueEyes · 2017-11-21T23:39:16+00:00

Beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder. I've had women tell me I should be a model, and I've had others almost barf in my face when they see me. So, you can ask guys out, and I've always appreciated the ones who have asked me out, and risk rejection, or you can date online and know that they have seen you and still want to meet you.

macaroon18 · 2017-11-22T03:34:59+00:00

Pay attention to when you can actually FEEL the connection or attraction like chemistry. We all have preferences but often we will be attracted randomly to someone who doesnt meet those preferences because it just feels right. Its more like a physical feeling when people just need to be closer and not thinking too much about the superficial stuff of appearances. Some people are more stuck on looks than others

grab_bag_2776 · 2017-11-22T04:47:32+00:00

Sad fact about this place: lots of 5/10 guys telling each other they have a shot at "10" girls and deserve them. Nothing necessarily wrong with the first part but more so the second. Chasing 10s obsessively makes guys look down on everyone else, even when they're probably no better. And, sadly, they're apt to miss decent girls actually in their league with whom they could be happy. Instead, lots of resentment and self esteem issues.

Bottom line: If you're a 5, then that's average, and by definition, lots of guys could be into you, if they get to know you (give themselves the chance to get to know you). If you're concerned about your looks (and you don't need to be if you're taking care of yourself and making an effort), then look for activities lead easily and quickly to conversation, where your personality can come through. The longer/harder the approach a guy needs to make to meet a girl, the more likely he'll make the decision from a distance, based mostly on appearance.

UoAPUA · 2017-11-22T05:24:23+00:00

Idk if it's been mentioned yet, but I think it is worth mentioning. You say:

I'm not THAT ugly or very overweight

The very first thing we tell guys here is that if they aren't doing everything within their power to make themselves the best version of themselves that they can be, they're holding themselves back. So the same goes for women. Looks are important, and some of that is within your control. Also, everyone can benefit from honestly evaluating their life and taking steps to live a more active, fun, and attractive lifestyle. These things are the foundation of building your inner game.

grownupboy · 2017-11-22T01:37:28+00:00

Smile. Love yourself. Do things that make you happy. Happy people are the most attractive. Eating well and exercise are tips on getting healthy, not dating. Do NOT put that much stock in appearance. If it is done to make yourself feel better, great. But don't do it for them. Do it for you. The rest will honestly take care of itself.

shpensha · 2017-11-22T03:29:53+00:00

I think any guy would be flattered by being liked but not everyone would be responsive if he just wants to go with looks. I would say that for the most part guys are pretty shallow and just want a pretty girl BUT honestly you can have an ugly face and still attract lots of men. An amazing body is a game changer and would get you with guys out of your league. You may not be able to change your face if you're an honest five (I doubt you are though most 7's I know think they're 5's) but you can get a sexy toned body with hard work and exercise. My best friend who is probably a 9 goes out with unnatractive girls all the time. Why? He loves that fit ass. My best advice would be squat a LOT and hit the gym if you want to attract more men. An amazing ass will hypnotize a man and that's a muscle you can grow with effort.

cavainmarch · 2017-11-22T01:19:52+00:00

You most likely a lot more attractive than your giving yourself credit, I would be willing to bet a good majority of guys would rate you at a 7 out of 10 which isn't bad at all! You see we tends to either over or under estimate our attractiveness and from your post I can tell your underestimating yours.

If you really want to improve your attractiveness which we all have room to do so. Learn how to do your make up like a pro, experiment with your hair, improve your style they are plenty of blogs and resources for women concerning hair, make up and cloths, exercise jump rope, do squats just get sweating, if you like a guy go after him we guys respect women who can make the first move, you don't even of to be overt about it either just show him some signs and he'll make a move.

TangoZulu · 2017-11-22T00:52:51+00:00

Sounds like you need to make your intentions clearer. Flirt more with guys you’re interested in. There are tons of average looking guys out there looking for companionship. Perhaps you need to lower your standards a bit and find a guy that is a “5” as well?

piginpoop · 2017-11-22T10:36:28+00:00

would you be wierded out, or even worse, grossed out, if a girl that is not really very beautiful liked you

Fact: I'm a 4/10. I've been "weirded" and "grossed" out when girls <8 "liked" me. I made a conscious attempt to avoid those girls henceforth.

Fact: I've had >=8 like me back. Dunno why exactly. One of them had really low self esteem and no friends, another one shared many of my hobbies, another one liked that I drove a "muscle" car, another one liked that my dog comes to greet me every time I come home etc. It's random and depends a lot on luck and imo their hormonal cycle.

inb4 some brainwashed domesticated mangina says I've too high expectation and I'm bound to fail and I should turn into a mangina like him and settle

NeverLace · 2017-11-22T02:43:30+00:00

Guys goes for just looks 95% of the time. You shouldnt ask if we can "settle" for a mediocre partner, because we wont. A personality, and by that I mean A) you're funny, you make him laugh, B) You have similar intrests, can create chemistry, but only if you're hot enough. I often catch myself talking to a girl and thinking "damn she is interesting, too bad she's ugly".

TL;DR squat and count calories.

Dankob · 2017-11-21T23:03:23+00:00

Yes I have some amateur advice based on my experience. Don’t try to be sticky or try too hard on the guy. It would Just turns him off. Be attractive or put o attractive clothes, makeup etc. And use ur humor/intelligence! :)

samonesto · 2017-11-21T22:44:35+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Austonmatthews345 · 2017-11-22T04:41:21+00:00

Uhh this girl I knew from work stopped to chat to me today while I was out shopping, she has a facial deformity and it's clear she likes me. I am not at all attracted to her and she kinda weirds me out and disgusts me but I have to be nice to her because she's genuinely curious about how I'm doing. It's kind of annoying because I'm there to shop for my groceries and not have a full on conversation with somebody I'm not even remotely interested in.

Yes, the majority of guys are superficial when it comes to a woman's physical attractiveness and this is made much worse by the unrealistic expectations set on us by the adult entertainment industry. You're a 5 but if possible strive to be a 7. Any women over a rating of 7 in the physical attraction department is just following the law of diminishing returns. The majority of men are happy to meet a woman who is a 7 with a great personality.

Any man that says a woman who is a 5 is physically attractive is an unaware blue pill drone who likely has no options. Then again, there has to be some men to take the undesirables out of the dating pool.

Title	Advice for girls/women
Author	samonesto
Upvotes	93
Comments	83
Date	November 21, 2017 10:37 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7elvlb/advice_for_girlswomen/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/advice-for-girlswomen.1437236 https://theredarchive.com/post/1437236

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