Can you date without the apps?

Torwulfer · 2020-06-21T18:27:51+00:00

I've never had any success on dating apps, and these days, don't use them at all. Approaching irl is only weird if you make it weird. And a good, socially calibrated cold approach will probably go a lot further to impress a girl than a cheesy tinder pickup line will.

GGuy999 · 2020-06-21T18:04:59+00:00

Cool video, good content.

stalleo_thegreat · 2020-06-21T18:14:26+00:00

Great video, dude. Even though you only interviewed a few people, in context of this subreddit, it really shows that most people do not need or prefer dating apps. Just go talk to people :)

adityasood99 · 2020-06-21T18:14:41+00:00

I absolutely despise dating apps. Reason being that it is nothing more than a way to boost female ego. My words might be a bit too harsh and blunt here, but it is how i see dating apps. A female receiving tons of messages from thirsty beta males everyday, leads to her ego inflation. In addition to this, i feel that these apps are money miniting apps since they want you to pay money even to see who liked your profile, let alone even talk to them. Alot many times if you match with someone you would notice that the female would simply ask you to like her insta page, only to realise that she is here to increase her followers. I suppose everyone must be aware about catfishing on these sites. Regardless of all my venting about it and how females prefer such apps, i have still met women who are not on any dating sites and they all were totally sane and real. :P I am still of the view that you can meet females the traditional way, approaching them for their contact and eventually going out on date. But the catch is that one needs to dp the effort of going out and talk. Despite all the rant about these apps, i think we can agree that to an extent we dont feel lazy going out and approaching females the traditional way, when we can simply swipe on their profile and start chatting.

ZonoBRAH · 2020-06-21T18:27:56+00:00

F dating apps

nowhereman136 · 2020-06-21T19:22:31+00:00

I recently started Tinder again for the first time in years. In the first week I got about a dozen matches. All are either bots or some other scam. I deleted it again. Online dating sounds like a good thing if you are serious about meeting someone new and willing to put the effort into it. But for casual dating or just trying to expand your social circle, its too overly saturate with crap to be worth it IMO.

unbearablekatie · 2020-06-21T19:59:43+00:00

When I ended my 3y relationship I started going out with friends, not with the purpose to meet possible dates but once I did it I realized that there are really few people that approach others in "real life". I think that because apps make it much easier to initiate a conversation, people are not giving importance to face-to-face flirt, and at least where I go there's almost no chance of that happening. After a while running away from it I finally download all the apps and my dating life began lol

InscrutablePUA · 2020-06-21T18:11:57+00:00

Approaching in a non creepy way is absolutely the way to go. Most guys are simps and freaks these days...

PantryGnome · 2020-06-21T19:00:03+00:00

I'm not intimidated by cold approaches except that I still feel like I don't know what to say

Ket_om · 2020-06-21T20:39:00+00:00

Approaching is only considered weird in north america and places in Europe. Go to south america or most foreign places and the guys approach a lot more. If you keep your calm and just go to talk and see if you like them theres nothing weird about it and women love the attention even If they dont like you.

Str8uplikesfun · 2020-06-21T22:21:20+00:00

It doesn't always have to be up to the guys, to ask a girl out. Just saying.

I don't like the dating the apps. I use them off and on, but it's honestly ridiculously difficult. I've never had a good relationship out of them yet. A few fun adventures though.

The best have always come from meeting women in real life. And honestly, it's a lot more fun. It can take more time, but, for me that's fun.

MissV6661 · 2020-06-21T19:37:14+00:00

I met my current partner through work, we became good friends first and it was a complete happy accident that we ended up together

2020-06-21T23:22:58+00:00

The group that said they get approached all the time didn’t like it because the guys were too “ aggressive “. The group that didn’t get approached said they wish more guys approached and were more “ assertive “. I hate to be that guy and say this but dating sucks because women made it hard straight up

BetaCuckSimp · 2020-06-22T03:27:30+00:00

If it feels weird to approach in person then you’re doing it wrong

simplelife12345 · 2020-06-22T03:49:59+00:00

I’ve been on the dating scene for close to 5 years and in all honesty app dating is a shambolick mess. It takes away the traditional method of dating and although it’s 2020, the expectations are somewhat skewed. FOMO (fear of missing out) and patience play a pivotal role. Getting to know someone is what I consider to be the forefront of potential dating. If someone doesn’t want to get to know you they aren’t looking for a relationship. If they want to meet up straight away they just have an itch to scratch. But also patience, just by having an hour conversation online gives you absolutely no indication of a person, like none. Everyone is different in person to online.

I’ve met some people who want a commitment after 2 weeks, 2 weeks! You don’t know shit about a person in 2 weeks. Going online and chatting for a few weeks gives you nothing really, other than great conversation. Which patience is a problem. I’ve been chatted to girls online and after a week nothing, I’ve even been told off for asking questions and wanting to get to know someone, which I find ironic when you date someone ( I’m not meeting someone who might wear my skin as a suit). Getting to know someone is so important, yet very overlooked.

Looks are very important, not matter what anyone says, looks in online dating is the most important aspect, you can swipe left easily and quickly. I think science came out and said you will know if you’re attracted to someone within the first 7 seconds of looking at someone. Anyone who says looks aren’t important is a liar, because you need some for of physical attraction.

One thing I’ve noticed is the lack of information in profiles. Mainly blank profiles. Or a profile description that gives no indication of who you are. I’ll even take dot points. Yet a blank profile and just pics I just say no to. I wish profile stated what you want, are you after hook ups, say it, if you after a relationship say it because it nut out the ones who aren’t what you are after. I see a lot of profiles with quotes like “only here for the doggos” or if you have a dog we can talk which sounds bloody stupid if you’re looking to date.

The biggest thing is and I said it before is people are different to online than in person. I am 50% nervous and 50% excited to meet someone. Actually meeting in person is difficult, but if you don’t interact in person it makes things very hard, put away your phone and actually interact, if I meet someone and the conversation is very one sided I’m done.

Online for a girl to meet a guy is 100 times easier than a guy, for a guy it’s a struggle. Imagine 100 guys to one 1 girl, that’s a reality and online it’s like a buffet for girls. You can pick and choose based on looks.

People are so self absorbed in online dating that they actually forget that they need to meet in person.

Aspanu24 · 2020-06-21T22:09:53+00:00

Where do you meet people though? Bars is pretty shitty. Stop someone at the grocery store and ask for their number?

bobyd · 2020-06-21T22:25:54+00:00

This is inspiring honestly one of the things that I always wanted to try but always find excuses, and now with the pandemic and everyone wearing masks it's even harder haha

bjjkaril1 · 2020-06-22T01:32:04+00:00

I'm slowly moving off dating apps into the real world.. I get a lot of matches and have some decent pictures, it's just, really nothing has been coming out of it. It's also a game where you have to spend a lot of time on finding good places to take pictures (i usually take 80-90 and use the best 1 or 2), and overall deal with a lot of flakiness and rejection even after getting matches. At least if a girl doesn't like you in person she can say she has a boyfriend, or just flat out reject you.

dukesilver2 · 2020-06-22T03:00:29+00:00

People dated without them before and they still do and always will.

redzbizkid · 2020-06-23T08:09:29+00:00

Awesome stuff and channel man. Thanks for posting

hardlander · 2020-06-22T00:24:01+00:00

It worked once for me, on the first match I got. I guess I got lucky because I never had more success with it so I gave up on it because it took too much effort. I don't want to constantly have to prove myself to girls. I'm also tired of always having to lead the conversations.

stp5917 · 2020-06-21T21:33:39+00:00

After going on many a fruitless date obtained via dating apps, I've concluded dating apps are much akin to gambling, particularly slot machines. It can require LOTS of time and money invested at the machine in order to get any kind of a payout, which may only be a date or gasp two. Your odds are much better actually getting to know someone organically instead of on what's effectively a blind date set up via an app on which you may've only swiped right on each other because you thought they were hot af.

blueidiot314 · 2020-06-21T22:32:59+00:00

Apps are pretty new like 5 years old. I'm 34 so most of the time I've gotten numbers has been just regular approaching like at a bar or club. A lot of the younger women might think this is weird because of the current environment.

AnyaUrsu · 2020-06-21T22:59:03+00:00

I never used a dating app :)

Jago29 · 2020-06-21T23:34:57+00:00

I’ve had better luck in person than on any app. So far with dating apps I’ve mainly made friends, the matches I vibed well with ended up being girls I wouldn’t date but were really cool, and matches I was interested in just never messaged back. This compared to real life is just so different

absolutewingedknight · 2020-06-22T01:56:20+00:00

Honestly, this is probably a great question for r/askwomen

elmo315oo · 2020-06-22T04:02:14+00:00

Honestly tinder is just like Facebook . I do it when I’m bored. I like in real life. Maybe if I was older and used as REAL dating app... idk. I like I’m person better

ZlatanAgrees · 2020-06-22T04:36:56+00:00

I think dating apps are perfect for good looking shy or lazy guys. You need to put effort in tho

emeral132 · 2020-06-22T14:14:55+00:00

I’m a woman in my 20s. Here is my opinion: yes, you can date without the apps BUT if you are approaching a women IRL I think the best way is to approach her and her friends along with a few of your friends.

Don’t make it like a one on one ‘I’m interested in you, are you interested in me’ kind of thing because then as a woman you feel a bit pressured. Like, if you engage in conversation or accept a drink it might be hard to get away if the guy turns out to be an asshole, weird or you just have nothing in common.

So for example, if I was hanging out with two friends and a few guys who looked like they were having a great time came over and asked in a really nice friendly way to join us, assuming they didn’t seem like complete weirdos the answer would probably be yes.

The subtext is then more can we hang out and have fun than can we have sex / exchange numbers and go on a date but obviously if you are fun / funny / interesting / a nice guy then that will hopefully come across and it could lead to more.

NtsParadize · 2020-06-22T17:51:27+00:00

Dating apps are shit. The reason why : Pareto principle.

aerodynamicist3 · 2020-06-23T00:59:46+00:00

Doesn't seem worth it.

Everyone I have known who has dated via online apps has also lost their new 'love" because either they or their new love found someone else also online.

Edit:

Personally I have never dated but that's my own problems, I have zero knowledge of how to talk to girls and enough crippling insecurities to stop me from even trying in the first place. Above is just my observations of other people

usedtimecapsule · 2020-06-21T20:48:12+00:00

I’m gen z and I’ve never used one, they seem over hyped

baincs · 2020-06-22T05:58:06+00:00

Nice content! And nice accent haha I live in SF too!

firefliesjr · 2020-06-21T19:50:30+00:00

I'm (21F) poly, and have met my partners both on dating apps and in person.

I've never just walked up to a person on a train and told them I think they're cute. I met one of my ex's when I trained her on my job's 3D printer, I met my current partner at a Makerspace game night after having talked to him at his student org table. I had another hook up within that student org, and an ace partner within my partner's close friend group. I also have hooked up with one of my friends on occasion after coming out as poly. I've always had common interest groups or friends with the people I end up partnering with in person. Any further degree of separation, and I've probably met them through a dating app.

Dating apps work for me because I can find people my age, in a similar place in life, who are looking for non-monogamy, something which is more difficult to parse out IRL. I also won't go on a date unless I'm really excited about the person, and I've had some pretty awesome dates the last few (pre-Covid) months 🤷

coanouser · 2020-06-21T20:53:02+00:00

I can't date even using apps

Title	Can you date without the apps?
Author	socialanimal_us
Upvotes	282
Comments	96
Date	June 21, 2020 5:35 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/hdawzm/can_you_date_without_the_apps/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/can-you-date-without-the-apps.1497584 https://theredarchive.com/post/1497584

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