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Puzzled_Nail_1962 · 2022-07-15T14:08:53+00:00

Probably more the warming up socially than the alcohol. Doing something social before and getting in that mindset does wonders.

Rumpleforeskin404 · 2022-07-15T14:18:25+00:00

Taking a shot before a date will calm your jiggly nerves down. However, there are 2 things that you need to understand. Is she attracted to you when you're 'lil' drunk, or the real sober you?

Here's an experience of mine. I took a girl on a date while sober, and I ended up talking about human trafficking. This girl looked at me like I'm some sort of a serial killer afterwards. Thus, ruining the date itself.

So I ended up snorting cocaine right before every date. The pure adrenaline of excitement and happiness turnt me into a sociable charismatic guy in some way. Made girls laugh and feel comfortable around me. Now it's already been 2 years and I'm free from substance abuse.

In conclusion, it's better not to rely on things, but instead, rely on yourself.

Mistermistery101 · 2022-07-15T14:19:05+00:00

Just because alcohol seemingly has helped you on one occasion, it does not mean that it would always be the case. Your sample size is not that big. Not all women in all situations necessarily want/need a guy that is super funny.

One night I went to a work happy hour before my date. I had a couple drinks and talking with my coworkers warmed me up socially. When I went to my date it was like a night and day difference. I absolutely crushed making her laugh and the convo just flowed.

How do you know alcohol was the (sole) reason for that? Maybe you just had good connection with her. Maybe having fun with your coworkers was the more important variable, that warmed you up. You see how dangerous your thinking is, because you projected all your success on alcohol.
if alcohol has to involved it's better to have a drink with her, instead of showing up drunken.

SuperiorTroy · 2022-07-15T13:57:37+00:00

That's how alcohol dependency starts

great_account · 2022-07-15T15:39:04+00:00

Yeah I've been on dates that seem really fun when we've been drinking and then we hang out sober and realize we have nothing in common. It's a crutch.

hOmIeCoUrt · 2022-07-15T16:39:29+00:00

Before dates I always do these things:

Groom myself well: shave, cut nails, haircut if needed, moisturise, at least 2 showers that day, get a good outfit going.

Listen to upbeat music: my lame anthem is girls by Jay Z it puts me in the zone

Eat healthy: energy, prevents over eating that night

Exercise: have a big session. Preferably for back or chest. I often run aswell to clear my head and get rid of jitters

Drink coffee/tea: keeps me alert at night

Meditate.

Clean my house. Setting the expectation that she's coming back and I need to be ready.

Doing all of that will put you in a calm focused and fun mood. You don't need to drink to feel that way.

ftdrain · 2022-07-15T16:06:21+00:00

Learn to be confident sober, or anxieties will manifest when you are sober. It’s a slippery slope to dependency and worse problems like performance anxiety.

xiosy · 2022-07-15T14:28:21+00:00

This is the exact same thing I told my brother and he said that’s how alcohol dependency starts

miseraa · 2022-07-15T15:50:32+00:00

I saw a tweet recently that said if you’re neurodivergent, the first two drinks don’t count, they just turn you into a normal person. As someone with mild anxiety and ADHD, I definitely relate to you and also get a lil’ bit tipsy before all my dates.

But make sure to not get too dependent on it. It’s a pick-me-up, not a crutch.

steelmanfallacy · 2022-07-15T19:36:16+00:00

Also, don't forget that your perception is also affected by alcohol. You think you are doing better than you actually are.

MO_drps_knwldg · 2022-07-15T17:26:02+00:00

Nope. Deal with your insecurities and nerves in a healthy way, don’t put a band aid on the problem

Creative-Cut8103 · 2022-07-15T18:26:04+00:00

I’m a young attractive man and I didn’t start getting girls up until the last year I started pulling 10’s and I used alcohol as a tool before meeting for the first time and it did wonders for my social anxiety. To the point now I have gained the confidence to go in sober. Alcohol can help bring out the fun side In you. Use it mindfully in moderation and as a tool.

entitledwank · 2022-07-15T20:40:39+00:00

One time in college I was tripping pretty hard on acid and a friend knocked on my door with her parents there.

I was super welcoming to them and had such high energy because… well I was on drugs.

Anyways the next day when I saw her she kept going on about how much her parents loved me.

Even she didn’t realize I was high, she just thought I was in a really good mood

notonthat · 2022-07-15T22:03:27+00:00

Always sober. But I’m always calm and relaxed and love dates and have a good time. Instead of drinking before hand I’d focus on getting your 1st date format down, and understanding how conversations work a little better.
My date format: mine is 3 places. Meet at first one. I see them often come up we hug, I often tell them they look wildly stunning, guide to bar, get drink, maybe share each other’s drink on way to table and sit across table from each other at first place. Initially sitting across the table allows, imo, a casual low key get to know each other joke around vibe to happen — move to second place near by often walking, I reach for hand and take it any time we cross street — we sit next to each other at second place — usually more intimate. 3rd place is usually a low key fun dive bar I like a lot that I drive them to that is near by — we get cheap drinks, often we kiss and are really close physically and intimately by this point. Often we go home that night (I keep 2 bottles of wine, wine opener and bottle of tequila in trunk of my car to avoid the “I don’t have anything at my place”)

The point. Take them to a couple places. The point is they go to different places with you in one night and each place she goes to with you she’s always having fun and a great time. 2. Focus on what makes good conversation. I never know what I’m going to talk about. I don’t need to because I’m focused on her. To help with conversations maybe look into Todd Valentine, Richard LaRuina, James Marshall — what happens is you learn (from Todd Valentine) that conversation has a Baseline (normal interesting conversation) and a Plotline (emotional spikes and escalations) — simply if you just know that you know if your conversation are becoming too boring and you know to bring it back to being fun you’ll need to spice it up make it emotional (get away from factual stuff — ask her why she did that, make an funny observation, be sarcastic, tell her you’re having a hard time not looking at her, disagree with what she says — do something to spike the conversation in an authentic way) From James Marshall and Richard you learn how as she’s talking what are her Core Motivations. If she says she moved to the city, then you immediately start thinking and asking: WHY did she choose to do a crazy thing that? WHAT was that like? I didn’t initially think you were that adventurous HOW did that happen? - What motivates her (Why would she do that?) - Hiw does she really feel about something? (What does that make her feel?) - Then make Observations about what you’ve uncovered about what kind of person she is…these can be, funny or neutral about how silly or adventurous she is. - Also Relate but also Contrast between what she is saying and offering (it is v important to see why someone might like something but you on the other hand could never do that or like that etc. This can be for something funny or serious. In fact it’s often fun to tease and disagree sarcastically or jokingly about anything)

Personal hygiene. Always look and feel good every time you leave the house. If you don’t I recommend hitting gym and hitting a calorie deficit and dropping weight (if you need to). Personal experience: nothing and I mean nothing will put a woman into overdrive faster if you have your shit together socially, you’re physically fit, dress well (and then they find out you know your way around their body in ways better than they do) — all of this will lead a man to be supremely confident in what he offers any woman that decides to get to know him (and be momentarily sad for her that it’s her loss when she doesn’t take up the opportunity to experience what she’s missing — but that’s on her not you)

This may or may not be helpful but with a little bit of work and frameworks for a date in place, and eventually have a framework for how really great conversations work dates are very easy and fun and you won’t need to loosen up

MrSlippery92 · 2022-07-15T15:25:02+00:00

This is called alcoholism. Pretty soon it becomes:

“Fuck, I’m about to go into a tough meeting. Better take a shot.”

“Man, I have to drive in rush hour traffic? Better take a shot”

“Gf’s parents coming over? I need a shot”

GordonGecko69 · 2022-07-15T16:00:58+00:00

No, I can tell you from experience that it is both a slippery slope and ultimately doesn’t work out.

You get a specific kind of girl in a specific setting. You can’t pull randomly walking down the street because the random drunk dude just looks pathetic.
You never really learn how to run game because the alcohol is doing it for you. You may say that you don’t care. But it will actually hurt your opportunities with women more than it helps it.
It is very very easy to go from drinking to warm up to getting wasted with chicks to just getting wasted. I can tell you from my own experience and that of many many PUAs I have been friends with and winged with. It’s pretty pathetic.
You need to be on your game and being drunk slows that down. You aren’t doing better because you are drunk. You’re doing better because your inhibitions were lowered. Instead, just stop being a bitch. Works the same and with less Ill effects.

MF are so worried about rejection that they want to resort to ANYTHING to not endure it. You will get rejected drunk, eventually more so than when you are sober. Rejection is all part of the game. There is not a dude who doesn’t experience rejection. I’ve seen athletes, rock stars and famous actors get ghosted. What makes you so special?

Moral of the story… stop being a bitch.

nfornear · 2022-07-15T14:54:10+00:00

Think you have other stuff to work on if you need a shot before the date. Drinking during is fine though and it will also loosen up tbe date (from both sides)

NastyMonkeyKing · 2022-07-15T15:56:21+00:00

Idk for me. It's a fine line. And during the summer after an LTR ending, yeah I'm gonna go drink.

But yeah it quickly goes into alcoholism. You have to be really self aware to catch yourself before you slip. So it's a dangerous game to play where the end consequences are 100000x worse than beginning benefits.

But I'll be honest I'm playing it right now. Until I broke my first bone while I was drinking

So be careful. But it sounds like you've already decided what you're going to do

2022-07-15T16:29:37+00:00

Cholera and Hepatitis B

Dumpster_slut69 · 2022-07-15T16:52:42+00:00

I'm guessing you rely on alcohol to be social. One of my exes showed up after a few drinks (she admitted it) and she turned out to be an alcoholic.

AssistTemporary8422 · 2022-07-15T16:55:07+00:00

If you do this then she isn't attracted to the real you, she is attracted to the slightly drunk you. That can actually eat away at your self-esteem. You don't want your "game" to be overly reliant on a substance or ritual.

The reason you do better with alcohol is because it calms your anxiety, lowers your filter, and you can be in the moment and self-amuse. This is why alcohol is so popular in social events. But you can work on improving these issues without alcohol. Start working on these issues in normal social interactions.

CoNoelC · 2022-07-15T16:56:05+00:00

Nothing wrong with getting a little loose. Don’t over do it or you won’t get hard later.

I agree with posters about how the social scene probably helped even more that the alcohol. I even find simple things like chewing gum to warm up my jaw before a date help too.

Zubi_Q · 2022-07-15T17:15:37+00:00

Yep, I have 1 before I go on the date, for some extra courage

Finisterre_ · 2022-07-15T17:16:40+00:00

Everyone here is being dramatic.

I would only go to a bar for a first date (music, atmosphere and drinks help with the conversation) and so I always have a shot and maybe a beer beforehand. It makes total sense.

I wouldn’t feel the need to do it on a second date and wouldn’t take a shot if the date itself didn’t involve drinking

Esmond_Mutt2323 · 2022-07-15T17:38:30+00:00

Never. Bad things happen when I do shots. It can be anything.

motherseffinjones · 2022-07-15T17:55:37+00:00

I’ve always gone into date with extreme confidence and it’s usually works out for me. I’m todays dating world once you get them offline I feel like your chances of success sky rocket

2022-07-15T17:55:41+00:00

Whatever works OP, life is too short. I love alcohol but man, the dependency can get crazy because alcohol does it's job very well. Stay safe, thank you and good night!

curlyhands · 2022-07-15T17:57:46+00:00

Yep I take a shot before every date works like a charm. I’m still me, just more relaxed. Then as I get to know them I feel that way normally.

The_fractal_effect · 2022-07-15T18:13:01+00:00

Lol one time I went on a date 6 beers deep because I scheduled a date on the wrong day. Date turned out pretty well made out with the chick and went on a few other days with her but that's about it😂😂

Arsenichv · 2022-07-15T18:58:36+00:00

Yes, and before public speaking.

Soberskate9696 · 2022-07-15T19:07:58+00:00

I knew a dude who would drink like 8 tall boys of steel reserve before his dates, then would order pitchers of beer while on the date

theangeldust96 · 2022-07-15T19:27:48+00:00

Yeah man i drank 2 pints of beer once before, the date, which i really liked, i think she smelled then she shit tested me and bc i was buzzed i fell right into it. She said without context like "I'm thirsty", lets get something to drink, i assumed alcohol but when we got there she was like nooo i meant water. Yeah after she left to go meet with some of her girlfriends i downed some cheap vodka and met with some of my friends too just to tell them:)). I don't do that anymore but again I don't go on any dates so who am I to say.

NiNj4_C0W5L4Pr · 2022-07-15T19:32:55+00:00

Numbing your prefrontal cortex. Congratulations, you discovered science! Yes, the frontal lobe is somewhat anesthetized by alcohol and it is responsible for social behavior (keeps you from blurting out something awkward or gauche). Aka: liquid courage.

CanUnusual8729 · 2022-07-15T20:20:07+00:00

I thought everyone did this

loosetingles · 2022-07-15T20:40:58+00:00

If were meeting up for drinks I typically have a drink before heading out. There's a fine line though, I wouldn't have more than 2 drinks max before meeting.

Saxon2010 · 2022-07-15T21:11:31+00:00

I usually have a drink before my dates. Then usually just one during the date. Just be conscious that you aren’t getting wasted or too reliant on it for every social interaction.

ProFriendZoner · 2022-07-15T21:26:19+00:00

If you need anything to "help" you what you really need is help.

SPENCEandtonic · 2022-07-15T21:36:59+00:00

I’m a career bartender and love booze and the stories behind all the different spirits and cocktails. One thing I’ve learned over the years is alcohol is a powerful drug. It’s very addicting, and I’ve seen it become a crutch for many people and ruin many lives and relationships. We all consume it for different reasons (to escape, to be more present, to be more fun, to calm down, to celebrate, etc).

What I’ve noticed is we all use it as a short cut to mask our personality flaws. I think the better option is to figure out why you’re using it, and develop those personality traits more.

For example, you’re using it to loosen up, get calibrated, maybe take more risks in conversation, and overall be more edgy and sexual.

Work on those skills when you’re sober and you won’t need the booze. It’s a shortcut that isn’t sustainable in the long run.

With all the being said, I still drink, but with the added awareness of how it actually effects me.

Cheers, you animal, go crush your dates!

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	98
Comments	99
Date	July 15, 2022 1:55 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/vzpcco/do_you_guys_take_shots_before_a_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1254435 https://theredarchive.com/post/1254435

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