Confidence is only sexy when it has something solid to back it up.

Dodechaedron · 2022-04-28T06:30:04+00:00

Do you mean that confidence is more 'natural' when you have achievements to back it up? I agree. Otherwise being confident is a plus. Being arrogant is a minus but I wouldn't equate "confidence without assets" = "arrogance".

ChutiyaChutney420 · 2022-04-28T08:15:58+00:00

By that definition no rich, good looking or successful person can be considered arrogant. And no unsuccessful, unhealthy poor person can be considered confident.

What you say is way too vague and wrong

ChildSlayer3001 · 2022-04-28T07:47:15+00:00

This is just false. Confidence, in any form, sub-communicates that you believe in yourself. Now if you have those things you talked about you might find it relatively easy to believe in yourself because of all the positive reinforcement from the world. In the case you don't get the positive reinforcement, you do it anyway. confidence with or without money or looks is absolutely the same.

Woujo · 2022-04-28T07:27:46+00:00

No. Wrong. This is just OP making excuses for not being confident.

Women evolved to like the feeling of confidence even when nothing backs it up. Tons of losers with nothing going for them get women because they act confident.

No. Wrong.

daring_innovator · 2022-04-28T06:53:19+00:00

Confidence in & of itself is sexy. It can even be self reinforced through: Abundance, Love, experience, self improvement, knowledge, great body, money, power, dick game, game itself, learning from past failures, etc. But really Its the internal qualities that make the person a rockstar. Its the internal work that needs to be done and only done by you is how confidence is built & only through repetition, failure & self improvement.

pua_max · 2022-04-28T06:58:27+00:00

What about being confident in your social skills? Being able to make her feel heard, challenged, inspired, and calmed.

Thin_Protection5616 · 2022-04-28T07:32:11+00:00

This isn't true at all.

Confidence signals social success and status. Thus, it is inherently attractive to women.

TANKER_06 · 2022-04-28T09:55:30+00:00

I am confident in my abilities when it comes to my career, and my personality when it comes to social situations. I know I'm average looking at best and have an average income. I'm not rich, nor have I won any Nobel prizes. Does that make me arrogant? No.

Confidence is a state of mind. Based on the dictionary; "Confidence is a feeling or consciousness of one's powers or of reliance on one's circumstances."

Arrogance, however, is an attitude. Based on the dictionary; "Arrogance is an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions."

They are not mutually exclusive. One could be confident and arrogant. An overly successful salesman could be extremely confident in his skills and be arrogant to his colleagues because he knows he can get away with it based on his confidence in his skills and performance as a salesman.

Confidence without anything to back it up, either material or psychological, is just called false confidence. Perhaps one could try too hard and think confidence is arrogance and therefore, act like a dick like what you are alluding to.

Playful arrogance isn't all that bad too. I always play the cocky/arrogant guy when making jokes, saying wild things that would otherwise get me slapped if I didn't have a smile on my face. I once again must emphasize the word "playful". Don't be arrogant and shit on people's day with a grin, which would just make you an even bigger dick.

geo930 · 2022-04-28T08:31:26+00:00

Wrong.

atomant88 · 2022-04-28T06:07:38+00:00

drewcer · 2022-04-28T11:41:03+00:00

Gtfo dude this is incredibly wrong. The difference between arrogance and confidence is that with confidence you’re not afraid to fail. You’re not afraid of being socially rejected. You’re not afraid of not looking cool. Confidence comes from within. It’s not based on anything besides your willingness to step up.

Arrogance is about all those things you “have” and the belief that having them makes you better than other people.

spacemangoes · 2022-04-28T11:33:45+00:00

With confidence you can get girls. If you can back it up, you can retain them

Working_State_2521 · 2022-04-28T10:29:37+00:00

I don't really have a status, not a lot of people know me and financially I absolutely suck. Despite this, I'm doing just fine because I am comfortable with myself

Idk about you tho

punisher1005 · 2022-04-28T09:15:27+00:00

I'll try to explain. My girlfriend knows I care for her and would move mountains for her. But I don't need her.

I love her and I want to take care of her. But I don't need her.

I want to be a great man to her but, I don't need her.

If she wants to leave or cheats on me , same goes for me, okay bye, kick rocks. I will feel bad but I know in myself I will be okay.

unfinity2 · 2022-04-28T09:40:07+00:00

Well I hate to break it to you then but it’s not a good metric to use for someone’s value then. Men are just mostly egocentric fucking idiots.

Laura2_point_0 · 2022-04-28T10:42:40+00:00

Confidence is very sexy.

Snakehead004 · 2022-04-28T12:06:54+00:00

100% nonsense. Cringy douchebag stuff comes across as arrogant. The stuff you see from "pua" artists and lots in this sub is cringy.. But that's not real confidence. It's bs arrogance and is painfully obvious for anyone with a decent amount of EQ. So if you're faking confidence it will be obvious, yes.

HowToStud · 2022-04-28T12:09:25+00:00

All you need is self belief

MO_drps_knwldg · 2022-04-28T13:55:14+00:00

Believe you’re the prize, but actually be the prize. Both are needed.

You can have great qualities, but unless you authentically believe that you’re a valuable person, you won’t convey attractiveness
If you believe you’re a prize, but don’t have anything going for you, you can still attract women, but it won’t be sustained

Intelligent-Dingo-64 · 2022-04-28T14:45:49+00:00

Some girls love arrogance

FaithInStrangers94 · 2022-04-28T06:51:12+00:00

Arrogance is arrogance whether you’ve achieved things or not.

Unfortunately it is an aphrodisiac for many women though

Elegant_Weasel · 2022-04-28T12:22:11+00:00

I can tell you from several years of personal experience that this is very wrong lol. even today, most of my friends that have success in dating are pretty basic, if not kind of scummy, but they fuck because they rock what they do have, even if it's not much.

SmolAnus · 2022-04-28T09:41:47+00:00

Confidence is a result of your belief in your competence. Arrogant people are insecure in core and only act "confident" to get validation. People who are geniunely confident never come off as anything else.

Confidence is also very context dependent and is pretty much only built by repetition and mental self-reinforcement. Someone could feel very unconfident in social situations but feel very confident making shots in basketball for example. Self-esteem is how much we value ourselves and affects our confidence levels.

It seems like you are blaming things outside of your control to protect your ego. Maybe you should shift your focus to things you can control, take some action and try changing your beliefs about women.

hookedonfonicsmunky · 2022-04-28T08:34:55+00:00

idk man lots of heavy not great looking dudes have smokes near me (they're prolly hung and rich tho) lmfaooooo

2022-04-28T11:16:28+00:00

I can give you something solid to back into…

VeliVoy · 2022-04-28T05:51:42+00:00

Just something I've experienced personally

penis_in_my_hand · 2022-04-28T06:31:36+00:00

If confidence doesn't have something to back it up it's arrogance not confidence.

The difference between arrogance and confidence is simply this: confidence can be backed up. Arrogance cannot.

That's why you can be "confident in" something but you can't be "arrogant in" something.

Arrogance is just fake confidence.

emilyjadeofficial · 2022-04-28T12:32:57+00:00

I think there’s a fine line for both. Like whether you do or don’t have something going for you, I don’t want you to be so un-confident that you’re self-deprecating, but also not so confident that it comes off as arrogant. I don’t care whether you “actually” have something to back it up or not 🤷🏼‍♀️

RickyRiccardos · 2022-04-28T13:31:22+00:00

OP, this is just a limiting belief you have…

VeliVoy · 2022-04-28T14:04:45+00:00

[permanently deleted]

GWKBJ7 · 2022-04-28T14:48:48+00:00

This probably wont land but no. True confidence is sexy. And no, you most likely do not have it.

fangclan · 2022-04-28T15:07:21+00:00

it's good to be confident regardless of what you have. A guy doesn't need those things to be confident while also not being arrogant.

Title	Confidence is only sexy when it has something solid to back it up.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	132
Comments	79
Date	April 28, 2022 5:49 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/udo1ou/confidence_is_only_sexy_when_it_has_something/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/confidence-is-only-sexy-when-it-has-something.1260999 https://theredarchive.com/post/1260999

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