Girl on dating app ghosts for two weeks, then reappears and wants to get drinks. Do you respond? [recovered]

singlecellfromearth · 2022-02-12T19:10:42+00:00

You're next up to bat. What's it cost you to swing?

HyakuShichifukujin · 2022-02-12T18:38:13+00:00

You're overthinking this. Correct, you don't really know her reason, and frankly it doesn't matter.
Just proceed like nothing happened and go for it. Don't give a shit how or if it works out (as you shouldn't anyway).
Know the odds are high that she'll disappear on you again. Don't give a shit about this either. Mercilessly double book her with other flaky girls if you have any in the pipeline. If she does disappear a second time, delete all her contacts so you stop wasting time with time wasters.

lilabelle12 · 2022-02-12T18:49:38+00:00

I would not give people who are inconsistent my time or energy.

RomanDad · 2022-02-12T18:23:05+00:00

So. You MADE plans and she stood you up? Yeah. No thanks. Hard pass.

eazolan · 2022-02-12T21:21:45+00:00

It's a bot designed to keep you subscribed.

MyName_isLame · 2022-02-12T19:12:30+00:00

Idk I was on a dating app recently. Messaging with a few people and then just decided I wanted to put the whole dating thing on hold for a while. I wasn’t ready, and I deleted it for now. So I might go back on in a few weeks, I might not. Bottom line is, my decision for withdrawing had absolutely nothing to do with any of the men on the app, and everything to do with me. Could be the same for her.

classics109 · 2022-02-12T18:46:23+00:00

No. She found a better option and it didn't work. Next.

WiiWynn · 2022-02-12T19:22:13+00:00

Have her meet you at a place super convenient for you. If she flaked, then it’s up for her to make effort. This is the play for a real relationship. If she’s relationship material, she’ll put in effort and be accountable for flaking. If she’s a diva and just hops to the next option, she wasn’t worth it.

If you’re just looking to play and smash, then yes, you have to accommodate her flakey shit, depending on your options. Get your opportunity to shoot your shot.

digitalEarthling · 2022-02-12T22:15:25+00:00

I mean just know that if you say yes, she was probably dealing with someone she considered "better" than you last couple weeks and they probably ghosted her.

UnPoquitoSuerte · 2022-02-13T03:32:59+00:00

She went out with another dude, it didn’t work out. You’re up.

rustoof · 2022-02-12T19:42:47+00:00

If your other option is sitting home alone then of course you should go out.

hoonmasta19 · 2022-02-12T22:17:19+00:00

If you want to meet her, respond. If you don’t want to meet her, don’t respond

PubertEHumphrey · 2022-02-12T22:30:32+00:00

Just go and don’t consider it serious if you want. My uncle who would crush a lot of vag would say “what are you winning from being like that?”

Infamous-1- · 2022-02-13T07:38:27+00:00

If you got nothing better to do, why not? Go out and show her a great time but mention nothing about being ghosted or that you were bothered by it. Show her how amazing and cool you are then ghost her ass back. ;)

determinator94 · 2022-02-12T19:15:34+00:00

I would’ve stood out and just ignored her. Trust me when I say this - you don’t really know a woman’s rationale for finding a better option only for it to not work out and come back to you. That rationale is essentially “the grass is greener on the other side.” And it usually never is.

Rheastar · 2022-02-12T19:11:24+00:00

So I guess for me the entire point is meeting people to see if we click. So an in person meeting is the way to go. Could be 1000 reasons why she didn’t respond for a couple weeks. I’d meet her in person and see if there’s anything there. What do you have to lose?

s256173 · 2022-02-12T22:13:41+00:00

I understand you feel hurt, but you need to let it go. You don’t know each other well, you’re just chatting. People put different amounts of energy in the whole OLD thing and she doesn’t really owe you an explanation at this point. I could see myself not replying to a guy for a week just because I got busy and didn’t really have the energy to put into it. Trying to date is exhausting sometimes.

thishumandude · 2022-02-12T22:46:34+00:00

Tbh, it really depends, I would just go for it, on Tinder everyone would always have to chose one person over another in certain circumstances, however she could have just arranged a date with you some other time, maybe her ethics and principles made her think she would be two timing? Or if she was smarter, she may even be testing you, ur patience to see if you come up with some rant(like the usual guys on tinder) about how much of a loser she is and all that. I would just go, after all think about what is the worst thing that would happen if it doesnt work out, you leave her, she leaves u, period.

Otherwise_Alps_5997 · 2022-02-12T23:09:52+00:00

Yes and have the best "i don't give a fuck what happens" evening out.

shplaxg · 2022-02-12T23:51:20+00:00

Just do it, dont take an undeveloped relationship too seriously. At that stage you owe each other nothing, and are still barely an aquaintance

actingasevan · 2022-02-13T00:12:28+00:00

Literally happened to me this week and we hit it off and hung out 3 times this week. Just serendipitous hangs and great times all around.

I say go for it

putcoolusernamehere · 2022-02-12T19:18:24+00:00

AlxndrMd1 · 2022-02-12T23:20:22+00:00

You don't

imadethisonthetoliet · 2022-02-12T23:30:06+00:00

No from just reading the title

Zepher75 · 2022-02-13T00:01:36+00:00

Yes, you go out. If for nothing else then practice dating. Maybe it works, maybe it won't.... but you will get experience out of it, and practice makes better.

canabizking · 2022-02-13T00:28:59+00:00

Give her a date as you have plans you haven't been waiting for her. If she ghosts you again don't text back at all. But if she repeats the behaviour and wants to meet you after flaking on the second time. Tell her to come to your place with some wine and you are cooking dinner. If she comes make her suck a whole lot of your Johnson teachem manners

buddhistbulgyo · 2022-02-13T01:26:27+00:00

Yes. You barely know her. Could be a thousand different things making her respond two weeks later.

jrangelfit · 2022-02-13T01:32:25+00:00

This seems to happen a lot. Happened to me twice this week lol

I had dates set up with two different girls for the weekend. Both flaked out. Honestly, I don’t give it much thought. In my mind I haven’t even met these girls so what kid of commitment should I expect from them? None at all.

Personally, I don’t really reply if they text back me after completely ghosting me for more than a few days. But that’s just me. There’ll be more opportunities to meet more girls.

If your ego doesn’t impede you from going out with this girl, then go for it. What’s there to lose?

2022-02-13T01:46:38+00:00

This is a normal things on dating apps. I admit doing this sometimes and I have met people that did this to me also. I didn’t take them seriously. If they wanna grab a drink, that’s cool. If they don’t , no problem.

daybit95 · 2022-02-13T04:52:29+00:00

Women are like cats. They’ll roam the neighborhood and come eventually to you. Be patient, if you run after the cat you’ll scare it off. Let her come to you

BIGC4075 · 2022-02-13T05:37:38+00:00

[permanently deleted]

LostPaddle · 2022-02-13T05:45:27+00:00

My take is she had probably been talking to someone else on the apps more before you, it progressed and she was focusing on them. It ended up not working out, so now she's back and giving you a shot. This is just how it goes - accept and pick up where you left off!

fulgurdeus · 2022-02-13T05:55:39+00:00

Depends on how much i want the cooch

ed_edd_eddy_fu · 2022-02-13T06:33:58+00:00

GET THE LAY ASAP

2022-02-13T07:04:30+00:00

Perfect candidate for a shoot and scoot.

Looks like she's just browsing the market for the best possible match. Either that or she's on a snu snu rampage, determined to catching them all.

Penetrate and evacuate.

YoungAussiePrince · 2022-02-13T07:06:57+00:00

Smash her and ghost her afterwards

BIGC4075 · 2022-02-13T08:59:20+00:00

You need to stop acting like your a gentleman, and go fuck their brains out. You will never have that problem again. Own the night, you only live once. Why waste it by being a nice guy?

FlanneryODostoevsky · 2022-02-12T21:34:14+00:00

Tell her that she seems like a flake and you don’t want to get involved with someone who just disappears like that.

2022-02-12T23:16:03+00:00

Maybe you'll get to meet her bf one day

b_a_d_r0b0t · 2022-02-12T23:59:02+00:00

She has been sucking Chad’s cock. He hasn’t called her in a couple of days. So she is checking on her simp list.

RedDragon777 · 2022-02-12T20:26:43+00:00

Her other date didn’t work out most likely or she got fucked and chucked.

Have strong boundaries and move on

diegggs94 · 2022-02-12T20:20:47+00:00

I mean if you wanna fuck her, say “I’m busy and you don’t seem to respect my time. Why should I?” Sometimes a confrontation works well and it’s not like she’s gf material acting like that. So why not?

AstronautWeary970 · 2022-02-12T23:04:39+00:00

If she play hard to get after you fuck you play hard to contact 🅿️

y0ung14 · 2022-02-12T23:10:23+00:00

Don’t get butt hurt. The ball is in your court so make it super convenient to you. If she suggest a place, tell her no. Tell her you’re going to go to this place at this time and to meet you there. You’re holding the wheel, steer it.

Edit: a word

Illustrious_Fig_Web · 2022-02-12T21:47:01+00:00

No. You were not her first choice.

this_is_me_on_reddit · 2022-02-13T05:39:39+00:00

Flaky people tend to keep being flaky in my experience.

tonstermits69 · 2022-02-12T18:50:06+00:00

It's a booty call or a call for attention, take it or leave it.

almighty_nsa · 2022-02-12T19:51:37+00:00

Just say that youre busy right now but you would love to at a later date.

E_lonui7xz · 2022-02-12T21:17:54+00:00

She’s looking for free drinks, stay clear!!!

alexandhisworld · 2022-02-13T01:21:43+00:00

Good god your mentality towards women is toxic lol

powersv2 · 2022-02-12T19:22:39+00:00

tired_demonhunter · 2022-02-12T20:52:57+00:00

By : you free on xday ?

Galvatron261 · 2022-02-12T21:09:36+00:00

Didn’t work out with her, at the time, dude of choice and now she’s on to someone else (you). Not too complicated.

ZakTaylor05 · 2022-02-12T22:26:17+00:00

I would pass.

Dependent_Arm_6942 · 2022-02-13T01:53:58+00:00

If you wanna fuck yes but you’ll need to finesse it. If not drop her dumbass and find a better one.

Inevitable-Victory57 · 2022-02-13T02:51:12+00:00

When you first made contact she put you down as a potential. She's now ovulating and put the offer out. Hence the common pattern you see with women reaching out weeks later. Her suggesting drinks is pretty straightforward.

11smithj · 2022-02-13T04:20:02+00:00

No. She is using you

tinkspinkdildo · 2022-02-13T07:00:08+00:00

Don’t overthink it since you don’t know the whole story. The first girl stood you up but the second girl is not the first girl. You have invested so little into this, so what does it matter at this point?

My now spouse didn’t respond for about a week when we matched through OLD. He messaged one week later after ghosting me to ask about a date. Turns out he was on a work trip. Your second girl could have a perfectly valid reason that, at this point in your non-existent relationship, she is not obligated to reveal.

harmonic- · 2022-02-13T07:14:50+00:00

A long time ago I got a girl's phone number on the street and didn't hear back from her for like 3 weeks. We ended up dating for seven years and I had some of my happiest moments with her. Go for it.

Shadow__Account · 2022-02-13T08:39:23+00:00

You can take the chance she didn’t really get to know you yet and can still get hooked. That being said the chance is quite small imo, I think we usually already get a pretty good indication of our interest level from just pictures. So if you just want sex one or a couple of times, sure got for it. But if you are looking for more I wouldn’t bother. Its a very clear, you are my 5th option, that’s why it feels bad and thirsty to take up the offer and you feel that you are being used. I totally get the dilemma, but lately I think giving in is conditioning my lower self worth to a place I don’t want it to be

CodeEmotional9593 · 2022-02-13T08:48:10+00:00

An alpha would have options so would not even notice if she didn't respond. So if you want to be on alpha behaviour, you just act as if nothing happened and be persistent.

To be an alpha you have to approach relentlessly and have so many options u don't even remember who the heck they are.

That's when THEY start competing for YOUR attention.

Online dating is all beta game anyway. Real men do daygame.

Beneficial-Strain-25 · 2022-02-13T08:49:59+00:00

Make sure to leave your wallet at home

CoolLelouch · 2022-02-13T09:07:52+00:00

You are no one's last resort. If you not givin respect walk.

freeshmurdamane · 2022-02-13T09:21:20+00:00

I recently watched a video where it said enjoy your time with her when she’s gone pay her know mind, don’t overthink what she’s done doing or could do. Helped me out a lot

ArkticDarkness · 2022-02-13T10:00:11+00:00

Nope. Nonononono no way goodbye have a nice day…..maybe.

ragergage · 2022-02-13T10:00:42+00:00

Probably just wanting attention in the moment

csjrgoals · 2022-02-13T10:15:29+00:00

No, cut her off

BlaisianDan · 2022-02-13T10:17:04+00:00

No response! Don't be a simp

backagain365 · 2022-02-13T10:31:22+00:00

No you hold a grudge and moan

69Gwynbleidd69 · 2022-02-13T10:34:12+00:00

Honestly, I would respond, but I would never consider her for something serious. ONS, casual hookups, FWB, etc..

2022-02-13T11:05:42+00:00

Ignore her

lolmaxy · 2022-02-13T11:32:50+00:00

Sometimes you have so many matches & so many potential dates lined up that you can't juggle them together. So you go through them one by one.

George97o · 2022-02-13T12:27:17+00:00

OP, unless your reason is only to fuck and not take things more seriously, go ahead with flaky / ghosting girls. Otherwise, I would not accept this type of behavior because it shows lack of character, integrity and respect for my time and myself. Accepting this type of behavior is also encouraging it

Gearz557 · 2022-02-13T13:48:11+00:00

This happened to one of my best friends. I was just a groomsman at their wedding

TheCaribbeanRedditor · 2022-02-13T14:08:01+00:00

If I had to guess, at least half of all women on these dating apps have little or no intention of meeting up with anyone (unless he's very muscular/good looking) and are on there only for validation. Look for clear IOIs and make alternative plans if she doesn't show up. Yeah it's shitty, but that's just what happens

RapTVCalifornia · 2022-02-13T15:40:53+00:00

“Oh sorry I’m currently dating someone, bye”

2022-02-13T19:42:42+00:00

Do you want to go? Then go meet her. You don’t know her yet and online and specially Tinder isn’t too personal or serious. Judge her on the first date she offers :) If you feel you rather not cos you feel offended by her behaviour, then don’t. Or, you can go if you like her and tell her in person. What happened those weeks? And fet her perspective. Good luck!

catsandbones · 2022-02-13T19:52:20+00:00

I used to do that all the time when single, I wasn’t super into dating and only sometimes it was so urgent to me that I would chat, and I‘d remember them way later.

slamar85 · 2022-02-14T07:39:14+00:00

If she cared she would have responded sooner. Don't be a pussy beggar.

Title	Girl on dating app ghosts for two weeks, then reappears and wants to get drinks. Do you respond? [recovered]
Author	sonofsonofsailor [recovered]
Upvotes	157
Comments	119
Date	February 12, 2022 6:18 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/sqxno4/girl_on_dating_app_ghosts_for_two_weeks_then/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/girl-on-dating-app-ghosts-for-two-weeks-then.1266920 https://theredarchive.com/post/1266920

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