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Pm_MeyourManBoobs · 2022-01-09T20:10:00+00:00

Don't let some stranger's personal shit make you second guess yourself.. You know it's working so get back out there and keep sleighing

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-01-09T20:07:16+00:00

I don’t know why you assume it’s you who fucked up. Maybe it’s her who has a problem

vinylsnrock · 2022-01-09T20:08:20+00:00

I think a lot of girls have wayyy too big expectations on a first date emotion-wise. Not your problem, her loss.

HTML_Novice · 2022-01-09T21:53:05+00:00

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HTML_Novice · 2022-01-09T20:10:31+00:00

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MoldavskyEDU · 2022-01-09T22:25:51+00:00

While that sucks bro you didn’t fuck up. It’s like post nut clarity, sometimes you have great sex but feel like shit after. Same thing can happen on a date it’s not your fault. Just keep trying. No point in knocking on a closed door when you have open ones all around you.

aStonedPanda94 · 2022-01-09T22:21:27+00:00

Whatever you do don’t chase her, she may end up coming back around when she changes her mood.

lilabelle12 · 2022-01-09T23:57:56+00:00

As a woman, I’m wondering whether she found another better guy after that date with you. Perhaps she went with another young lad? 🤔

donathefirst · 2022-01-10T00:42:38+00:00

Hi! Please dont beat yourself up over this. Something very similar happened to me recently.

I had just started to date after a two year break from dating (ended a very long serious relationship beforehand). This guy I met via Hinge was a perfect match. We both couldn't believe how well we fit.

We were texting all the time, just all over each other getting carried away, as if we were in a relationship for years.

I eventually got an invitation from him to go to his city (this is in Europe btw). I get there, we have the most amazing first day and night. The whole chemistry translated into real life. I was so incredibly happy, words cant describe it. He even said that he felt like he knew me for many years, as if we were in a relationship already and he was really enjoying the energy.

On our second day together, I felt a sudden change in energy, as if the air was different. He was getting more and more distant. Eventually I confronted him and asked whether something had changed, at first he was hesitant but eventually he admitted that isnt feeling it - "there is no romantic drive" (reminded me of what your date told you, thats why im commenting).

I kept pressing for an answer, nothing was making sense, i was so confused. He just kept saying he doesn't know, it was as if "something switched in my brain" and he stopped feeling whatever it was he felt. He said i was perfect on paper, "filled and ticked all boxes in the list", but he just didn't feel it.

After weeks of texting and a spending a great whole day and night together it was over - he could not even explain why. I had to grab my stuff, leave his apartment and find a place to stay in a foreign city I never been to, all this while heartbroken and confused. Keep in mind, it was my first attempt at dating after years.

And the funny thing is, I was originally not even looking for a serious commitment, I was slowly dipping my toes in the water again, and was looking for fun. He was the one who insisted "we give this a chance cuz it is all so perfect and I found the best girl out there". So if he was just trying to "use me" he could have easily done so without thw whole hustle of talking to me for weeks, convincing me to go stay with him for days, and then take another trip to a different city just for fun, just the two of us (we were planning on that).

We were a perfect match in almost everything - plans for the future, lifestyle, finances, business, professional aspect - even sexual preferences and desires (yup, all discussed and 90-100% agreed upon).

On our first day together we were planning trips and places we would go to. Next day he acts as if I was a stranger.

What I am trying to say is that it happened to the best of us. I have been told that I am a very pretty girl by friends and men generally. I am well educated. Am also fit, try to be kind and gentle and loving. I did my best to be the best version of myself. But it still happened to me too.

It was so hard not to blame myself at first, not to judge every flaw in the mirror. I know it sucks, rejection hurts, especially if you've had a great vibe from the beginning. But it was nothing you did, I promise. It was most certainly about her, something she was processing or going through, something from her "baggage". You never know what this could have been and you shouldn't care - your value doesn't depend on anyone's (flawed and influenced) opinion.

Please be kind to yourself (i wasn't at first, made it worse) and remember to not judge yourself harshly. Also, just to give you some perspective there are billions of people on this earth, that girl wasn't the only one or so unique as your brain makes you think. You will be fine, recollect your thoughts, process this rejection if need be and move on. Everything will fall into place.

Lots of hugs to you... Hope my comment helps...

anothersadthrowaway- · 2022-01-09T20:21:40+00:00

Maybe she has something going on, don’t blame yourself. You did right, had a nice date, and the stars just didn’t align all the way. Not your fault❤️

MikeAlphaGolf · 2022-01-09T23:00:53+00:00

You can’t win them all. You’ve quickly polarised her which is the goal. Thank her for the date. No contact. Move on.

starchick77 · 2022-01-10T00:19:20+00:00

You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s her. It’s online dating, it’s the culture now. I hate it too.

33jeremy · 2022-01-10T00:39:53+00:00

Why text her two days later? Why didn’t u text her that night?

NiNj4_C0W5L4Pr · 2022-01-09T22:36:45+00:00

Did you trigger her attraction switches?

alexandhisworld · 2022-01-09T23:26:07+00:00

This comment section is a ces pool

eeyore60 · 2022-01-09T23:09:35+00:00

It's called "dating women". Get used to it. Don't beat them up about it. Keep it moving and remain the prize

grayperson_ · 2022-01-09T20:17:06+00:00

You fucked up by not moving on.

sam_moonshine · 2022-01-09T21:13:52+00:00

This is where most people make a mistake ! Attraction but no comfort. There always has to be a balance between attraction and comfort . And sexual dynamics demands comfort and attraction and in balance like yin and Yang.

xxslaying · 2022-01-10T00:16:47+00:00

Maybe her grandma died or something but it has nothin to do with u my man girls be like that a lot

MattPruga · 2022-01-09T21:59:31+00:00

Maybe you were too nice to her? Treating her like a queen is what most guys would do but it's wrong

Night_Hawk1 · 2022-01-10T00:31:21+00:00

You didn't sleep with her. Or make a move to. There were fuck me eyes signals. Because you didn't capitalize she doesn't see you as a man of action and it is no longer a primed doorway. Having sex with a girl on the first night does not preclude a relationship. Anyone that says you should wait is bullshitting you. What they mean is don't push for sex when you pickup signals that you are not at that level yet. But when there is a clear connection and opportunity do not blow it. in fact it bolsters it if you do it right. The whole don't sleep with her on the first night is bogus. All my longest relationships were fist night lays because the connection was that strong and we both went for it. But I also show enough value beforehand and screen very strongly to ensure there is the possibility of that connection of a first date anyway.

no_not_this · 2022-01-10T00:45:33+00:00

Always escalate. If she says no back off. She will respect that.

Possibly she went on another date and is fucking that guy already.

DoomerToChad · 2022-01-09T20:02:02+00:00

You went to your place, did you have sex with her? Maybe she wanted it then.

ChocolatePizZa4me · 2022-01-09T22:51:36+00:00

What if she went on a date with another guy the next day and felt a spark?

Anyways even if she didn't, girls just are like that very very often. You can do everything right and she still drops you later and changes her mind. Happened to me too!

Also, a lot of girls are great actresses and tell you things like wow and this and that, but in reality they don't mean it or not with that intensity.

Don't trust them too much when they say these things and don't be attached to outcomes. You will find one that'll stay for longer. Trust me.

wakawah · 2022-01-09T23:22:53+00:00

You didn't go in for the smash that night when she was ready. So she says to herself, "why didn't he try to give me the business"? When this happens she will never blame herself, instead she will change her mind about you and no longer be interested. Happens all the time. When the pie is ready you gotta pull it out of the oven and eat young buck.

SoulRebel99 · 2022-01-09T22:59:06+00:00

Another guy, you didn't escalate fast enough, etc. Enjoy your life, let her hit you up!

excentrik-art · 2022-01-09T23:37:19+00:00

Usually it means you did not spiked her emotions and did not made her feel horny. Most likely you were "just" talking. Not enough in todays fast paced world. Try next time being a little bit more physical with her (with consent), talking about a bit dirty things. Tell her some experience or fantasy and make her tell you one fantasy. Spice it up.

EnvironmentalRule525 · 2022-01-09T23:43:25+00:00

Why didn’t you go for the close on the first date?

kscotty84 · 2022-01-09T22:43:39+00:00

So you banged her? Then she said connection?

drueberries · 2022-01-09T23:04:14+00:00

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YouGotTangoed · 2022-01-09T23:29:02+00:00

Although romantic, it sounds like you didn’t do anything to create excitement. Kiss her against the wall, pull away first when kissing, show a slightly dangerous/bad boy side of you.

Girls like to be kept guessing. It sounds like she knows where you stand, how you act, and you’re no longer the mysterious guy from the dating app

Rrrraiiiiden · 2022-01-09T23:02:48+00:00

This happens a lot. It sucks, but keep moving on to the next.

i_love_crazy_hobos · 2022-01-10T00:47:38+00:00

You took her home - did you fuck her? Or at least try? If not then that’s where you fucked up.

Skyonfire30 · 2022-01-10T00:50:37+00:00

so the first night is enough for someone? she is in rush

Mriconicdev · 2022-01-10T00:51:58+00:00

ON TO THE NEXT, good job though dude. Just keep shooting

futuristicbushman · 2022-01-10T00:56:39+00:00

Self concept, you believe you fucked up. It could have been a test. A woman is like an emotional whimsical event. It’s part of her femininity. As the man you must ignite her fire. Be more playful the next time you get rejected

natod12 · 2022-01-10T01:06:09+00:00

Another guy swooped in and fulfilled her sexual need before you could, her emotions shifted to him. It’s ok chief, plenty of fish in the sea

Lefanteriorascencion · 2022-01-10T02:19:10+00:00

Free dates are always nice.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	100
Comments	120
Date	January 9, 2022 8:01 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/s002h4/deleted_by_user/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1269374 https://theredarchive.com/post/1269374

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