Do most pickup artists struggle to form deep connections beyond hookups?

Electrical_Formal755 · 2025-05-04T23:19:06+00:00

Paul janka is married with kids Mystery also married albeit is divorced now Nick Krausser is in a ltr Dj Fuji is in an ltr Liam McRae is married Tony solo is married

Just some examples of pickup artists that did make it beyond hookups

Affectionate-Ant4888 · 2025-05-04T21:56:37+00:00

I think they struggle because they get addicted to the power of how easily things work but not everyone is like that; there are a few who settled after all the crazyness.

Reno0vacio · 2025-05-05T00:00:47+00:00

The problem with PUA that it's about "seeming" like a sucessful man with woman instead of actually becoming one.

WhatsTheAnswerDude · 2025-05-05T01:14:58+00:00

No idea why you'd think meeting women is only surface level.

It's always particular to the person.

Nonetheless, once you meet enough women though....you likely start to stop caring for trivial things or sex just for the sake of sex.

It gets old. Let alone the inherent health risks of sleeping lots of women. That's something that doesn't really get talked about by this dudes banging "100s" of women....there's no way people did that without catching at least something. No shaming it, just saying.

Eventually you're gonna want something deeper or to put your time into something viable versus consistently always having to meet someone new.

You're always better off finding a person to consistently have sex with and enjoy spending time versus always having to spend time meeting and intriguing someone new.

Even then, you're always better on focusing on your own life than focusing on getting women.

Just cause these dudes put on like they get all the girls or whatever, doesn't mean they always wanna spend time trying to get one. That shit gets tiring after a while.

BurnItDownSR · 2025-05-05T00:36:48+00:00

Do most pickup artists struggle to form deep connections beyond hookups?

No. Its something that PUAs actively work on and have developed methods for over decades.

If the only thing you know about PUAs are what can be read about in The Game or what can be seen on VH1's the Pickup Artist, or worse, you just got the cliffnotes version from a Google search, and if you think PUA methods were still scripted 10 years ago or worse, you think they're still scripted now, then you're outdated by about 20 years.

Not surprising though, since no one on this sub knows how to build a deep connection and they think you can only do so by spending a lot of time with someone. Its sad to be so ignorant 🤦🏽‍♂️🤣

Jasperbeardly11 · 2025-05-04T23:47:03+00:00

I have found that people who are eapecially engaging but surface level tend to be stuck in that arena. You could call it a plateau.

StrikingImportance39 · 2025-05-05T00:51:30+00:00

The difference between average Joe and PUA is that PUA had way more sex.

But when it comes to forming deep connections it all depends if you had loving parents who were healthy emotionally.

Khower · 2025-05-05T01:31:16+00:00

If you can bang a 10, it's really hard to settle for just 1. The power/ego/validation of banging beautiful women can be intoxicating.

Id say it took me 5-7 years to really settle down instead of being a wild man to search for meaningful long term relationships because I totally realized girls viewed me as a fun only type of guy

Thierr · 2025-05-06T06:34:29+00:00

I think the majority of people in pua have an avoidant attachment style. Many men find pua out of a deeper hurt and feeling unwanted. So imo, yes.

No_Nick89 · 2025-05-04T21:48:17+00:00

I swear if I see another post about “pickup artists” I would bash my head against the wall until it bleeds. Seriously you people have nothing better to do? Jfc

DrFlyAnarcho · 2025-05-04T23:39:09+00:00

I think when you have options it’s easy to give up when facing challenging relationship hurdles, true for men and women.

BudgetInteraction811 · 2025-05-05T01:28:47+00:00

Pickup artists aren’t in it for the same reasons as the common man. They don’t desire a long term connection because they thrive off the continual validation from strangers. It’s actually quite dysfunctional and sad.

FriendlyWrenChilling · 2025-05-05T07:30:20+00:00

I managed to reconcile the two and now I use pickup as a means to find connection. I think I'm the only coach who can teach both pickup and relationship skills at a high level.

Unfortunately, my relationship content performs way way way poorer compared to my PUA content. Most people are just simply not interested in long term meaningful relationships.

It takes a more mature mind to understand that pickup is not used to increase your lay count.

So theres the answer to your question. Its not a PUA problem, its a cultural and collective problem of society.

Just sharing the numbers and observations.

Interesting_Gas_3211 · 2025-05-05T08:09:31+00:00

What pick up artist do?? Like the fuck are their skills?

shlomobo · 2025-05-06T04:33:27+00:00

I was really into PickUp in my twenties and I would say that it was hard for me to maintain long lasting connections with women.

In my opinion a lot of relationships do „work“ because people don‘t have options. Especially men tend to stay in unhealthy and unfulfilling relationships just because they think that they will not get another women if they leave.

So yes, if you have options your perception of the dating world changes. But it is more than just that. A lot of PUAs come from broken families, have or have had low self esteem, are addicted to validation of women (I was like this and have met a lot of PUAs that had the same background.) If you read famous PUA books like „The game“ you see how bad the mental stability of people like Mystery or Neil Strauss was. Plus, I made getting women my purpose. When I was in a relationship I asked myself: What now? I kind of lost my purpose.

So my hot take is that a lot of „womanizers“ never actually learned to maintain deep, longlasting relationships with women. It‘s not only about PickUp and options, it‘s also a mental topic.

Jironasaurus · 2025-05-05T00:13:49+00:00

For sure.

And that's because most of the coaches don't actually teach how to connect with the woman emotionally. I've seen plenty of them teach tactics about getting the woman's attention, but it feels like so many are completely clueless about how to build proper relationships. You can see it in their rhetoric, because they are always chasing the next number.

And it doesn't help the people who are learning this gravitate towards the coaches who brag about their numbers. Just look at how popular John Anthony is. But notice how many long term girlfriends he's had. Here's the thing though... it's not the lifestyle. These coaches just simply don't know how to.

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-05-05T01:50:54+00:00

Many of the PUA "gurus" were dorks who were good at internet marketing. Strauss was one of the exceptions because he was already an established NY Times best-selling author even before The Game. Mystery got famous through The Game and his book gained mainstream attention in part because of his prominent role as a central character in The Game.

Title	Do most pickup artists struggle to form deep connections beyond hookups?
Author	Puzzleheaded-Trade46
Upvotes	27
Comments	51
Date	May 4, 2025 9:42 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1kev9aq/do_most_pickup_artists_struggle_to_form_deep/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/do-most-pickup-artists-struggle-to-form-deep.1551462 https://theredarchive.com/post/1551462

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