Finally approached

jackthehat6 · 2025-12-30T16:53:27+00:00

good job. On to the next. Whether the bf is real or not is irrelevant. Either he's real so she's not interested, or she's not interested so she makes one up!

ChicoBrillo · 2025-12-30T17:03:02+00:00

Hey man you approached, that's like the hardest part. You'll likely see her again and the ice is broken so you can make friendly small talk and see where it goes

thecaveman08 · 2025-12-30T16:40:02+00:00

Love to hear that, man.. keep it up. My first approach was scary too, but after that it became way easier. You just have to keep the habit alive, because when you stop, the momentum fades.

I go to the gym as well, but the women there often feel very closed off or high-attitude, so I’ve never really approached anyone there.

I’ve learned you can kind of sense who’s actually open and worth approaching.. and when you do, it feels good just to take the shot.

OddTea9340 · 2025-12-30T17:25:05+00:00

Nice man. Just keep the connection, who knows what will happen.

VisionsOfVisions · 2025-12-30T17:05:52+00:00

As the saying goes, when she is single, you are competing against all possible men. When she is taken, you are competing against one.

ImpossibleWaiting · 2025-12-30T19:17:16+00:00

Good job, but you jumped the gun. Gym is a long game kind of place. You should ask out girls after 4-5th time you talk and you get the feel of her. You can even find out if she has a boyfriend (an actual one) by taking about how she spent her weekend. Take your time with your warm approaches.

EmpireStrikes1st · 2025-12-30T19:12:53+00:00

Congrats for approaching, and good on you for not being a creep. If she smiles and makes eye contact with you, keep the conversation going. She knows that you take care of yourself and are a confident man, so if you feel up to it, ask if she has a friend. It's a sideways invitation to reopen the boyfriend conversation.

Klutzy-Painting885 · 2025-12-30T18:10:27+00:00

Could have gone worse. Keep nurturing the relationship. Never hurts to have girl acquaintances or friends. They have single friends.

destroyeraf · 2026-01-01T02:01:07+00:00

Pretty much perfectly played. Respect

DinkyDash · 2025-12-30T18:23:46+00:00

She liked you and wanted to keep the convo going.

Also, yes she had a boyfriend, but that relationship is clearly in shambles.

OpinionThink481 · 2025-12-30T17:06:31+00:00

“I would but i have a boyfriend”

She was definitely down for cheating. But good on you for being a nice guy.

Remarkable_Outside67 · 2025-12-30T19:39:55+00:00

Here are two points.

First, try to create some kind of connection with the woman you approach — find something in common, like a hobby, work, or anything really. This usually comes from asking good questions and actually talking to her. Walking up to someone and asking for her number after two minutes doesn’t work with everyone, and it can even backfire, because it can feel like you do the same thing with every girl.

Second, the fact that she kept talking to you is a sign that she felt a bit bad about rejecting you. So she continued the conversation to kind of “soften” the situation and make it less awkward for you. That’s a pretty normal reaction.

Good job on having the courage to try, and I hope you keep improving!

StayGlazzy · 2025-12-31T17:11:36+00:00

If you ask girls out too soon in the conversation then they will usually respond with that they have a boyfriend because the conversation was too short for you to decide if she is interesting enough. They don't want to be dated because of looks because everyone would date her because of the looks. The fact that you were not persistent coupled with the fact that you approached her in daytime gave her a sense that you are a confident man and that probably ticked a switch, causing her to ask more about you. My guess is she didn't have a boyfriend and that you actually had a chance with her but you blew her off in the end.

TMGP19 · 2025-12-30T16:42:45+00:00

If she re-engages like that you need to maximally forward as the initial rejection of "I have a boyfriend" might have been a quick shit test to see if you change behavior/frame. I would have grabbed her contact and set up a date because what she seems like on the surface on the initial approach is not indicative of anything. See if you can initiate again and number close. Best wishes!!

tojerealno · 2025-12-30T17:25:24+00:00

Great, you approached. Now approach some more and yield results.

KevinLuWX · 2025-12-31T17:29:32+00:00

I've kept in touch with girls like this and a few ended up hooking up with me once their relationship ended.

BicycleSpiritual1048 · 2026-01-03T19:14:05+00:00

One time what happened to me that girl told me that she has BF. I was like okay cool, i started to leave. She still gave me her number. And later texted me that she did it automatically. We went to date later and kissed. Sometimes you have probably too much anxious energy and creep vibes and she just automatically says she has boyfriend, even tho she doesn't have one. If you would keep convo and would be nice, maybe she would told you that actually she doesn't have one. But if you just met her, never talked to her and directly asked her for contact, it could be too much pressure.

SilentAirline6611 · 2025-12-30T20:10:44+00:00

It is very possible that she does have a bf it’s also very possible that she doesn’t have one & she was just rejecting you nicely.

It’s also possible that she does have a boyfriend, but is interested in you & want to get to know you in case she breaks up with him.

Women speak in layers so what she said might have a deeper meaning beyond the surface-level refusal, or it can be an indirect communication.

She could be implying that she prefers OP, but because of standards for acceptable behavior, she cant pursue anything further.

She could be implying that she would go out with you, but it would have to be secret and not let her boyfriend know.

Theres a lot of implication and ambiguity by her adding the "I would" part.

If you want to take what she said at face value then yea she’s not interested.

However if you want to look deeper past what she said she’s letting you know she’d consider it because maybe she finds you attractive or charming but letting you know she’s in a committed relationship and not a cheater. wink wink

So your response should’ve been something like "I respect you're taken. Let's connect when things change.”

Keeping the door open subtly, for a possible relationship in the future & you can stay in casual conversation with her while you see her at the gym.

Humans are wired to be attracted to other people, and just because she has a bf now doesn’t mean she will have one next year.

She might be looking to upgrade.

My advice if you really want to purse something with her continue being friendly towards her do not completely ignore her or shut her out.

If she approaches you again and tries to strike up a conversation, you can state you're interested in her but tell her you need clarity on her relationship status it’s possible she's not fully committed to her current relationship.

She might seeking fun elsewhere & keeping her options open just incase she breaks up with her BF.

It’s also possibly she’s testing your reaction to see if you'll stay interested or back off.

She wants to see if you'll stick around or get discouraged, showing how serious you are.

There’s a lot of ways you can look at this but ultimately it’s up for you to decide if you want to move on, but make sure she comes to you don’t approach her again.

hiiigherself · 2025-12-30T20:54:46+00:00

Keep talking to her. Boyfriends are irrelevant imo, she’s clearly interested in you. Just keep saying hi and making conversation with her every time you see her. Work out together and get her number

riordanajs · 2025-12-31T08:49:46+00:00

Modern women change men more often than trad women change shirts... And have side guys etc. If she wants to fuck you, she will leave her man to do that, or betray him...

Next time, don't show interest, just befriend her and when a man leaves a woman to the friendzone, she will be baffled and often makes the move herself. If not, female friends are a great asset. She has friends who she might introduce to you, as you're a cool guy, and she gives you social proof as a wingman and in your ig feed.

"I have a boyfriend" is the oldest way to damp a man's enthusiasm. Never let that come in the way of getting to know someone.

Altruistic-Patient-8 · 2025-12-30T19:49:52+00:00

Can never tell, best to leave

YaNeverKnowLevi · 2025-12-30T21:28:05+00:00

There are many ways to go about this, depends how you want to live your life. I personally would move on and not even give it a second thought because I only like to deal with readily available women. not women who lie about having a bf, not women with bfs, only women who are like "oh yeah I'm single I'd love to do something with you" because there are plenty of those women. anything else and you risk headache or even worse, death

MoreSnowMostBunny · 2025-12-30T23:33:16+00:00

Get them digits. Get on her board.

GodOfPE · 2025-12-31T00:47:11+00:00

Don't be sorry

Pus_sea · 2025-12-31T05:57:39+00:00

Doesn’t hurt to have hot female friends, they usually have cute friends of their own

Shoddy-Lingonberry-4 · 2025-12-31T10:59:20+00:00

Now approach more women

Title	Finally approached
Author	thatguy94ontheredeye
Upvotes	242
Comments	69
Date	December 30, 2025 4:33 PM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1pzmmzd/finally_approached/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/finally-approached.1570037 https://theredarchive.com/post/1570037

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