For the romantics out there - Advice from a 49 yr. old

Murfdigidy · 2016-07-27T15:20:10+00:00

Thank you for your input, i had this a epiphany very late in my 20s. I suggest you continue to read the sidebar to this sub, it's a plethora of great information that will make your game tight

dweckl · 2016-07-27T17:03:34+00:00

Where do you meet people at your age? Serious.

TheThinkingMansPenis · 2016-07-27T19:35:16+00:00

4 is my biggest problem. How do you build a rapport otherwise? I suck at flirting and talking about meaningless stuff. All the cocky funny PUA stuff does not come natural to me, and winds up coming out canned.

Crusty_Magic · 2016-07-27T20:43:22+00:00

"If and when you are talking to a prospect, and she starts complaining about an ex or current bf, or becomes negative in any way IGNORE IT. Don't even acknowledge she said it. I am a funny guy, I always have been I just made too many other mistakes. When a woman does this to me now I redirect them immediately."

This is really solid advice. When girls do this, they want to see how you react to it. I was guilty of taking the listening approach with the last girl I was really into when I should have said something like this: "Well hey, forget about that guy. He's in the past and doesn't care about ya. You should date me instead!"

q50m · 2016-07-29T14:04:34+00:00

Encouraging to hear. I'm also 49 and 6 months from a divorce after 15 years of marriage. It's really hard to get back on the horse so I'm taking baby steps.

I find online game sucks as an older guy. Co workers seem to use nothing but tinder but it's pretty bleak online in my opinion. So I'm taking little steps in my day gaming. Trying to start conversations whenever I can. It's all practice and some days suck but I figure it's like the gym. You have bad days but the good days where you feel like you're progressing keep you going

Bleezy79 · 2016-07-27T22:37:56+00:00

This is all good advice.

Overnight_Delivery · 2016-07-27T18:17:38+00:00

I'm 30, as much as I wish I could have done then what I do now I can't. I did what I could then. The only thing I have to regret is what I don't do now.

crash1082 · 2016-07-27T18:44:10+00:00

Number three is one of my favorite things to talk about with my girlfriends. It is insane how many texts a guy will send to an obviously uninterested girl when she doesn't even respond to them. And they STILL don't get the point.

This alone gives me confidence that I'm definitely a little smarter about this than most average dudes in my city.

rocksmith · 2016-07-27T22:48:56+00:00

Thanks for the advice. I am nearing 30 and have been single for 6 years. Hoping this advice helps.

redditbutter · 2016-07-28T16:45:41+00:00

Learn the difference, and there is a difference.

Where can I learn about recognizing the difference (in myself and in her) between fuck buddy and potential romance?

Mi5ery · 2016-07-29T07:33:23+00:00

In two words : be yourself and be centred.

Snazzy_Serval · 2016-07-27T20:48:22+00:00

So 1st and foremost - STOP IT, NOW! - stop falling for every cutie that smiles at you.

This is something I absolutely struggle with. Very rarely to do I get attention from women so when I do get that attention I crave I end up fixating on the girl. I'm not sure if there is an actual way to stop this aside from actually getting my needs met.

Secondly - Do NOT go out of your way to help single girl that is nice to you.

I was guilty of this in my early 20's. Had a couple of girls using me and I got nothing in return I decided that was it.

Fourthly - Don't try to solve their problem, don't give them advice, don't be their "friend". If and when you are talking to a prospect, and she starts complaining about an ex or current bf, or becomes negative in any way IGNORE IT.

Hah, I actually did the opposite of that and landed a super cute 20 year old when I was 31. She left her BF for me and we dated for six months. It was glorious. Trouble is I kept letting her talk about him while we were dating. I didn't know any better back then.

Messisfoot · 2016-07-28T02:21:49+00:00

This is some serious shit. I agree with it all, I'm just curious if you could somehow prove your age?

Though, my dad is the same age and does the same shit.... Dad, is that you?

ultimatewpierdol · 2016-07-28T08:55:40+00:00

1st and foremost

STOP IT, NOW! - stop falling for every cutie that smiles at you

Although I suppose I know what you mean, I think you expressed it in a wrong way. You're telling people to stop having feelings. And we can't control our feelings.

The way I see it, at the beginning there's nothing wrong with feeling butterflies in stomach every time a girl talks to you, since it's not directly your fault.

The point is, you should act different despite having feels. Even if you do have feelings towards her after 5 minutes of conversation, you shouldn't treat her like a princess or love of your life. It's very important that you acknowledge that this is your brain fucking with you. Then you still have feels, but don't let them drive your deeds. After that, as you gain experience, those feelings smoothly fade away and in the end you don't fall for every cutie that smiles at you anymore.

You don't control your emotions directly, but you can still take control of your actions.

Secondly

What you're saying is true, I'd also like to point out that for me the main reason I'm not a servant boy is that I have respect to myself and don't feel like doing it. The fact that it doesn't work is just a secondary reason.

Mysecretlittlepeony · 2016-07-28T12:11:09+00:00

Your first point is SPOT ON!! My biggest complaint about men is that they confuse my kindness for me wanting to fuck them. Believe it or not I actually ENJOY being kind. Just for the sake of it and nothing more. Wish more guys would understand this.

jd_tonguesalot · 2016-07-27T23:06:11+00:00

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insane_assor · 2016-07-27T14:51:14+00:00

Good advice. Definitely helps to have more confidence and belief in yourself.

Kisaf · 2016-07-27T20:15:26+00:00

17 year old here. No game at all, Doing everything you just told me not to do. helpless romantic.

How do i get out of this bullshit cycle of the first and third thing you mentioned?
Im already in the friendzone, Any way to get out, or should i abort?
Could you expend upon your fourth point?
Built bulky, go to gym 3 times a week, have a fairly muscular swole, endomorph body. But short af (158 Cm) and that ruins my confidence.

I would appreciate if you, or anybody else, could answer atleast one of my questions. Thanks in advance.

forgiveangel · 2016-07-28T03:31:27+00:00

So, can you be friends with girls?

jsuperior · 2016-07-27T17:29:38+00:00

I have some questions for you senpai. In my journey so far, I have come to find that seduction is mainly about getting with women mainly for sex. Am I correct in thinking this? I have fairly established game, but I want to know the difference between the mindset you need when dating a girl, and when you just want to pick her up. Can you distinguish the difference or should I remain in the seduction.mindset

autumnwolf27 · 2016-07-27T18:21:25+00:00

That's pretty much everything written in "no more Mr nice guy"

CRISPY_JAY · 2016-07-27T19:21:36+00:00

I have recently been reconsidering my social life. Why don't I have any true friends? Why don't I have an girlfriends? Why don't I even have any friends that are girls? I have realized that THIS was my problem. I have been too busy trying to worship a single girl for 24 out of 24 hours of the day to actually focus on my friends. I had a goddamn expensive fucking summer precollege program for NYU to get "the college feel" and learn some Investment Banking. I was too busy worrying about a girl to have any fun! Thank you for posting this OP. I'm so glad I had this epiphany at 15 and not later.

P.S. Fuck you Vera

grass_cutter · 2016-07-27T18:54:55+00:00

Meh, this isn't very good advice because A. it's so narrow in scope and B. it's a list of what not to dos.

It's like me saying this:

Mario Andretti's guide to winning the Indy 500:

Don't swerve onto oncoming trafffic.
Don't text while driving the Formula 1 racecar.

You can now drive like Mario Andretti!

While the advice is true ... I hope most people understand that. Don't be a supplicating pussy who dotes over girls you just met/ haven't fucked. That's just not how attraction works. It's like a fat girl sending you a dozen roses. Who cares. Or better yet, a girl who seems somewhat attractive, but is so needy and clingy and desperate to always hang around you/ invite you to things/ stare at you/ do your dry cleaning that you start thinking she is a pathetic loser and not so attractive.

Don't do the opposite and just be a raging asshole and think that's the answer, or turn to the redpill. Some asshole guys are successful because they have confidence, put their desires out there, don't censor themselves so much, go for what they want, and are masculine ... not because they are rude, or assholes, or don't care about others.

heelsoverheadgb · 2016-07-28T05:30:30+00:00

quality shitpost

Title	For the romantics out there - Advice from a 49 yr. old
Author	jd_tonguesalot
Upvotes	367
Comments	94
Date	July 27, 2016 2:38 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4uux6o/for_the_romantics_out_there_advice_from_a_49_yr/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/for-the-romantics-out-there-advice-from-a-49-yr.1410095 https://theredarchive.com/post/1410095

Comments

4 is my biggest problem. How do you build a rapport otherwise? I suck at flirting and talking about meaningless stuff. All the cocky funny PUA stuff does not come natural to me, and winds up coming out canned.