Got humbled for the first time in cold approach

ShortStuffV2 · 2022-06-20T17:45:49+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2022-06-20T13:24:20+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Neo-Rio · 2022-06-20T23:49:46+00:00

Drinking doesn't help your pickup. Just makes it worse.

And numbers? In a club?

I have never got a woman's number in a club and pulled later on.

It's THAT NIGHT - or it's not happening.

The problem you have in clubs is credibility - you're just some dick in a club. From her point of view you aren't worth a phone call. You are just there in a "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" context. A fun plaything for a few hours and then bye bye.

Original-Pudding-939 · 2022-06-20T15:58:59+00:00

We live and learn .. you should feel good about getting those numbers … but as fellow Redditors have pointed out … learn the pitfalls .. polish it and get back to playing .. 🕊

nbh1995 · 2022-06-20T15:39:06+00:00

Stop going for numbers at the club. Girls give out their numbers all the time just to get you to go away, doesn’t mean squat.

The club is for getting laid that very night. It’s not for meeting a girl to take on a date at some indefinite future point.

nicolai_1998 · 2022-06-20T14:07:05+00:00

You have to flirt and try to take things further from the start, and you will soon find out who is interested or not. This will save you time, time that you can spend on meeting more girls and thus maximize your chances to find a girl that is into you

Woujo · 2022-06-20T13:48:09+00:00

You are getting the numbers way too early. You need to build up emotional investment before you even ask for a number. In fact, I rarely ask for a girl's number. At the end of our interaction, the woman is usually so invested she asks to give me her number.

It clearly sounds like you were being aggressive and pushy and pressuring these women to give you their number before they were ready.

5 numbers is one night is way too many, unless you are out for like 10 hours plus. Usually you should be speaking to a woman for at least 45 minutes before you get her number.

bigmanpav · 2022-06-20T13:15:24+00:00

Very common. Maybe I'm wrong, but girls seem to go out to bars and clubs to enjoy the time with their friends rather than meet guys. They can just go on dating apps if they want to hook up. That's why it's better to meet girls in other places like museums, book stores, gardens, beaches, parks, etc

SadBox4529 · 2022-06-20T21:53:53+00:00

If I’m going out to a bar I have to get laid that night, I’m not pulling any punches. Not trying to sound disrespectful but those girls probably slept with other dudes that night. Some girl I was talking to on Tinder told me to come pick her up from the bar, when I arrived her and her friends were talking to two dudes who got their numbers, I just remembered this while I was typing, I feel bad now that I think about it, cause those dudes were basically entertaining them and buying them drinks.

Any number I get is going to be a flake 9/10 unless it’s from a girl in the same social circle.

Ordinary_Yam1866 · 2022-06-20T21:23:04+00:00

If they noticed you picking up numbers left and right, that might be the reason

NiNj4_C0W5L4Pr · 2022-06-20T23:44:05+00:00

Imagine if 5 women asked for my phone number. That would definitely tell me that I was doing something right.

Phone numbers don't mean shit. But you did sack up and play the game. That commands respect.

If you were an attractive woman and wanted a guy to go away without getting killed how would you do it?

Switch your mentality from having to get their numbers to being the type of guy that women want to get your number or they voluntarily give you their number and they beg you to call them. (Do you see the difference?)

Learn push/pull and how to be like chick crack & I know you won't have any problems. You're on the right path, you just need to continue to calibrate.

luhvxr · 2022-06-20T21:22:03+00:00

my guess is that they were pressured into giving you their number the girls that blocked u, that’s what i do whenever a guy keeps persisting and won’t leave me alone then i’ll just block him. the other two girls just weren’t that interested maybe or did not yet have the chance to respond to u

Nefertiti2021 · 2022-06-20T23:55:45+00:00

Is better Instagram. Because, first, if the girl want to talk with you, she will follow you.

slangbladesMT10 · 2022-06-21T00:58:58+00:00

All the time bro. I can go from having a few women i'm actively talking to, to having a completely dry phone in the timespan of a week. W that being said, I cut women off prety fast myself if I see something I don't like.

recyclablebanthas · 2022-06-21T06:18:42+00:00

1

I got 5 numbers from 5 different girls. While we were a little drunk, I hit it off with them well.

I went to follow up with them next day, and it turned out 3 of the girls blocked my number before I could even reach out, and the other two never responded.

We all have moments like this in life, where a reality check hits us square between the eyes.

The main point that should not be ignored here is that regardless of what you thought, it did not go well with any of those girls.

If it did, then none of them would have blocked you. They would have been excited/happy to see you again.

Something went wrong in your approach. It's tough to say exactly what because there are no details about each of the approaches.

It could be that you picked up on all of them within sight of the others and it left a bad taste in their mouths. A lot of people don't like being blatantly made to feel like they're just a notch on the bedpost, even if it is casual.
It could be that something in your approach put off a vibe that turned them off.
It's also worth mentioning that a lot of girls will go along with an interaction and nominally cooperate because it's simply easier than taking the chance that the guy they're talking to won't handle rejection well.

2

When you get 5 numbers from 5 different attractive women, and then none of them respond, your confidence will take a little hit.

We all have moments like that.

What's important is to take a step back and realize that you always have the option to improve something every day.

Your mistakes do not define you. What matters is how you respond to the discovery of mistakes.

3

If you want to go over what could be adjusted or fixed, I'm pretty sure that it wouldn't be too tricky to offer suggestions.

Just lay out some details about how one or all of the interactions went.

Like how you opened them
Where you met them exactly
What the first interaction was like: What did you talk about? How to do react to their questions? What kind of questions were they asking? Etc.
How you number closed, etc.

EDIT: 4a

Note: there are often a lot of responses on posts like this to the effect that we should just assume a guy needs 50-100 sets in a day just to get a handful of numbers.

This is really unhelpful framing because it assumes a pretty crappy success rate that you wouldn't have if you got your game in order.

The problem is, if you're in a state where you could do 100 approaches and not come away with much, then trying to build up your social skills by doing repeated cold approaches is kind of like placing someone who doesn't know how to drive behind the wheel of an F1 formula racer and asking them to practice by taking a lap at full speed around the track.

Some people may flourish under that kind of scenario, but a lot of people adopt bad habits and reinforce them over repeated approaches.

EDIT: 4b

A more helpful way to build up your basic social skills would be to go to Facebook, do a search for [the city you live in] + [an activity/hobby/interest], and look for publicly posted events to sample.

Then you go to a few events a week just to keep yourself socially warmed up, not so much to pick up on people right away.

Doing that kind of thing on a regular basis can keep you socially warmed up and make it way easier to talk to strangers at the job of a hat, anywhere you are.

SkeetSkeet123hj · 2022-06-20T18:46:31+00:00

Why are you trying to get numbers at the club unless it’s a logistical thing and you guys are not able to hang out that night. Just weird

ZachMoore88 · 2022-06-20T21:38:08+00:00

Numbers don't mean shit these days. Don't take it personally.

jjboy91 · 2022-06-20T21:40:54+00:00

Because they didn't get back home alone dude

ResponsibilityKey427 · 2022-06-20T22:01:54+00:00

Cold approach is so inefficient.

Nefertiti2021 · 2022-06-21T00:08:07+00:00

But u kissed the girls?

hallcyon11 · 2022-06-21T03:43:24+00:00

How do you know they blocked your number?

canuckle1211 · 2022-06-21T04:54:34+00:00

Some of those girls prolly saw you do the same shit to other women why would they think you’d be different and give you the time later?

Revolutionary_Wind_8 · 2022-06-21T05:57:06+00:00

Lol. My guy, listen.

You can say one thing and these 304s will gossip all the way until they block you. Keep your head up and keep it moving. part of life.

DestinyChitChat · 2022-06-21T13:49:59+00:00

I'll be making some assumptions about you so feel free to correct me.

Usually this is due to not solidifying the attraction you built up with them. Attraction is like a fire that if not fed can die out. But once it dies down there should be something deeper for them to hold onto that makes them want to see you again. Namely...a connection.

In a nutshell you have to make every interaction feel like it was fate you two met. Like the universe brought you together. So when she's sober the next day and thinks about the night before she is reminded that you two actually had a connection and she'll be curious to find out more.

yo_saturnalia · 2022-06-21T14:28:35+00:00

Blocked before you even texted😂😂 there must be something really like really off putting about you. Have you thought about that? Were you super creepy

mrmarkme · 2022-07-03T03:59:24+00:00

Getting a number isn’t a success at the club. Getting a number from a drunk girl is going to turn into nothing. Glad you got humbled because going out to the club and going up to girls just to get numbers is retarded, it’ll amount to nothing

Title	Got humbled for the first time in cold approach
Author	Extra-Boysenberry
Upvotes	226
Comments	107
Date	June 20, 2022 1:11 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/vgl7gf/got_humbled_for_the_first_time_in_cold_approach/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/got-humbled-for-the-first-time-in-cold-approach.1256577 https://theredarchive.com/post/1256577

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