How to start flirting on a first date?

Bro1616161616 · 2019-12-07T21:36:43+00:00

Break the touch barrier, that's a huge one IMO

panicpixiememegirl · 2019-12-08T00:21:27+00:00

If a girl is on a date with you, she's already into you. So just compliment her. Make a lot of eye contact. Very small touches like if you're walking to your table, lightly guide her with your hand on her back, waist, etc. After the dinner, say you're really enjoying talking to her, she's very interesting, would she like to take a walk? (if she's wearing heels ask her if that'd be an issue because u want her to be comfortable).

sagunits · 2019-12-08T00:40:44+00:00

How do you plan winter dates? I cannot take out for a “walk” to escalate if it’s freaking cold outside. But sitting inside coffee shop or a pub is not much conducive to escalate. Any thoughts?

DrinkerOfWater69 · 2019-12-08T01:59:35+00:00

Flirting is very situational, and you have to figure out the sweet spot without over doing it.Pay attention to the current conversation and if you feel like you can make a flirt work with the current conversation go for it but don't overdo it. Be forward but not creepily forward.

Also, a great tip is to bring up a flirtatious line or quip from the previous conversation, but only if the previous conversation has similarities that/or can be used for comedic gain. (so if the previous conversation was about the death of someone its a no-go :P )

Also try to keep the flirts quick and clean, they can be sexual/intimate but only if she's feeling it, if you get a blush or smile you did it perfectly, if you got a disgusted or awkward face you fail and should attempt a recovery. Also to note, don't take the flirts to far. There is a thing called Casual Flirting, but if you take them too far they can often times turn into over-sexualized and/or extremely dirty things (sexually) which on first dates is not a good idea unless she's really trying to try on your underwear for the night.

nez6567 · 2019-12-07T19:19:24+00:00

You should try giving her a compliment.. Or say that you feel really good around her..

Yarialis · 2019-12-08T02:53:58+00:00

Hear me out, it's going to sound baba voodoo BS but I noticed yesterday that I do this so listen up - You've got to engage in the emotion and turn down the logical part of your brain a little. How you do this is that you find a 'vibe' you wanna latch on to, which is basically a mood but it's more than that and then you just put faith into it.

So how it would work IRL on a date is that you choose a vibe - maybe a steamy and passionate and horny one, or a player vibe, a funny guy, whatever you wanna go with and then you just go with the flow. That was a very bad explanation but it's like those days when you just get into the groove, into the flow and everything happens naturally. Throw questions at me to get a more sober explanation though

letsgetrandy · 2019-12-08T02:06:52+00:00

I like to make cocky/funny jokes and incorporate a touch on the arm or a hand on the shoulder.

For example, if she asks "should we get another round?", you put your hand on her forearm and ask "are you trying to get me drunk and take advantage of me?" while smiling.

Yarialis · 2019-12-08T03:50:53+00:00

You landed a date so she's already interested. I feel that you're putting a lot of weight into the meaning of flirting when the key to it is that flirtation lies primarily in the INTENT. Anything can be flirting really, so long as your intent is conveyed appropriately: be it sexual, playful or straightforward. A cocky smile can be flirty, a poke on her waist when teasing, or a simple, "I love your energy." The flirtation lies heavy on the delivery. So so long as you're feeling it, shes most likely feeling it as well.

PantryGnome · 2019-12-08T02:53:58+00:00

Be playful. Tease. Joke around. "Act" with fake or exaggerated emotions (like pretending to be offended by something she says) . Argue with her playfully.

Also pay attention to whenever she says something playful or funny and roll with it.

Atriev · 2019-12-07T19:58:13+00:00

Push pulls.

KingOfNeptune · 2019-12-08T08:26:22+00:00

The answer is teasing. You have to tease her. You'll know you're flirting correctly when she laughs and playfully hits you.

This is the vibe you want to maintain throughout every interaction with her, by the way. Playful teasing all the way through. It's a vibe of fun, where everything is lighthearted and jovial. Even the sex. You find an excuse to get on top of her and pin her down, all the while laughing and giggling. Maybe she stole your pen and you want it back, or she won't let you see a funny text she got. You set up the situation in which she has an excuse to brat you, which you overcome physically. You throw in some attempts at tickles, and she squirms and laughs and tries to throw you off but she can't.

And SPLOOSH, those panties are soaked.

MikepGrey · 2019-12-07T22:20:37+00:00

step one, NEVER DATE, that means we our expecting something - just flirt and have fun and then be friends... then be friends who fuck... then be friends who have a family together... then be friends who grow old together... then when your the last one standing have fun to remember your friends and relive the good times or if that hurts too much make new good times like I do.

CBTboy · 2019-12-08T02:11:40+00:00

Body language and escalation is key. Look deep in her eyes, say things in a sexy way, act a sexy way, find any excuse to touch her. Start by eye contact while imagining that you are fucking her, play with her hands, and read her response from there.

ender_artz · 2019-12-08T05:03:27+00:00

You just described exactly what happened on my first date with the same type of girl 🤧🤧

jayj59 · 2019-12-08T08:59:51+00:00

If you dont feel like you're invited to kiss her at the very end, at the very least just straight up ask if you can have a kiss to remember the night. It's never been turned down for me, and most of the time they think it's cute. As for earlier in the date, I typically sit a comfortable distance away at first but find reasons to inch closer until I'm right next to her. Touch her shoulder, back or maybe hair if you're feeling bold or about to kiss her. And very important, keep eye contact the entire time. Looking away or down too much will make her think you're not very interested and she will in turn become less interested

dt-17 · 2019-12-08T09:47:38+00:00

Minsinterpet things she says. It could be a simple question/answer but if you deliberately take what she says and exaggerate it or turn it into a bit of a tease it’ll build the tension.

AceBurrito · 2019-12-08T23:51:40+00:00

On the date, your job is to physically escalate as much as possible until you receive the signal to stop. When you first see her, smile, say "hey" and give her a very light half-hug (a hug where only your right hand touches her back, lightly). When at the venue, be sure to sit within a relatively close distance. A big table between the two of you is a stupid situation to be in! During the date, give her a high five for something that is said or done. Be sure to smile often but not always. Change up your facial expressions a bit and have fun with it. Don't be a robot! If she laughs hard, laugh with her and pat her on the shoulder lightly when you do. She doesn't know you. Maybe you're a sincere touchy-feely kind of guy.

When you leave the venue, if the above has happened and she is smiling more, she drank a bit, and you've gotten a bit closer, put her hand in your pocket if you're wearing jackets once you get outside. Just say "hand please" with a playful smile, and stick out your right hand. It doesn't have to be any more complicated than that. Take her hand in yours, and place them both in your pocket. Walk. Smile, joke around, and take her someplace slightly secluded. Pull her in close and look at her lips. Go for the kiss. If she moves back, DON'T worry about it! Remain confident. She might have a boyfriend, she might have just ended a long-term relationship, she might have exams tomorrow. You don't know, and you don't care. Your only job here is to remain strong and confident. Just smile and say "It's all good. No need to explain". Try again shortly after if it seems appropriate.

This all has to be done on the first date. If you don't at least "go for" this stuff, that's really bad. If it doesn't work, it's fine, at least you showed you're confident, and that you're physically attracted and willing to do something about it. If you don't try at all, you're showing fundamental character weakness, and that'll dry her up in no time!

Hope that helps mate! Feel free to ask questions.

swaglordobama · 2019-12-08T05:34:12+00:00

Flirting is teasing, push pull, keeping the topics of conversation sexual and man-to-woman. There needs to be a sexual undertone to the date, but she also wants to be "won over," like you like her body, but you're still not sure about her. Generally as the man you have to initiate sexualizing any interaction. If there was no sexual tension, then the vibe will me more friend-to-friend and escalation will feel awkward.

Good methods are sexual misinterpretation of something she says, accusing her of being sexually predatory and perverted, observing a physical feature of hers and evaluating it in a fun way that projects sexual intent but withholds interest (Stand up for a second. Turn around. I liked you so much... until now.), do a fake cold read or palm reading and misinterpret everything as her being a slut, imply she is bad at sex, etc. Sexual and silly fun is going to make all of your dates and interactions more interesting and sexy.

JP has some amazing infields that show how to flirt well.

https://youtu.be/YjlBJhD9V3Y

Psykogummibear · 2019-12-08T09:32:07+00:00

See an opening - test the waters . Start light see if she reciprocates and then go from there

Qjemuse · 2019-12-08T09:52:10+00:00

You'd think the date went so well. Maybe the girl doesn't. Put less energy on filling the girls needs than your needs

Queenslayerx · 2019-12-08T10:42:52+00:00

Just be honest lol I think men overcomplicate this. If you think she’s beautiful, say so. If you like her eyes, say so. Being direct is sexy because she knows you aren’t trying to jerk her around. Flirting is a two way street so usually when you offer a compliment she’ll come back with something and you can bounce something back off of that. Also, at the end of the night, if you think the date went well then just be upfront. For instance, you’re dropping her off, you turn to her and say: “I had a really great time, I hope you enjoyed yourself as well.” Wait for a reply and respond accordingly. If her response was positive, take her hand and look into her eyes so she knows you aren’t being a creep: “Would you mind if I kissed you?” That simple. If she says yes, go for it. She’ll think you’re cute and sweet for asking for consent and if she thinks you’re weird for asking instead of just taking it then 9/10 you two aren’t going to be compatible in the long run anyway.

Jay-Ames · 2019-12-08T13:03:11+00:00

First set the tone that is is not a friendly get together. Make sure you can touch her straight away. But in a simple way.

A girl can easily think that it is a just friends date or you not having the balls to go for it. She will place you in the friend zone. Also, the longer you wait becoming touchy, the more difficult it becomes to be touchy.

So do this for example. Don't meet at the place you want the date to be. Meet somewhere close. When you meet her, grab her hand and lead her to the place where the date will be. Becoming touchy and flirty has now become easier. It will also immediately tell you her interest levels. If you feel she is uncomfortable, let go, but don't discouraged. The mission is still accomplished.

Even better is to meet at places where you must sit close and next to each other instead of opposite of each other. This way it's easy to become touchy and flirty.

From this point on let her do the talking but you control the direction the conversation is going. For example, ask her if she ever secretly went to a place her parents did not approve of. This sets the tone for possible flirty naughty things to talk about.

cataract29 · 2019-12-08T02:43:57+00:00

Sit 45 degrees from her position, whether it's a sofa, chair or barstool, lean forwards in conversation. You should have made efforts to sit closely to her and try to be almost shoulder to shoulder. Subtly place your fingers on her knee when having a conversation and make playful moves (circular, whatever) as if it's absolutely nothing special and simply a part of how you make conversation. If you've established some accord this will not be a creep move, but an intriguing one. Then you slowly escalate or de-escalate depending on her reaction.

This bit is a defining element on a date, and allows her to read your intentions clearly, and it will be interpretatated as sexual interest. I usually do this 2 hours into a date if I think she is worth the trouble.

recyclablebanthas · 2019-12-09T00:50:17+00:00

Had a date last night. Girl was a solid 8 or 9. Conversation was great, never a dull moment and we got along well.

This was a good start....

But after I dropped her off at her place (and did not even kiss her) I realized that there was basically no flirting at all the entire night (hence why we didnt kiss).

What do you think of as "flirting?"

Most guys usually don't realize a lot of things qualify as flirting, when they do.

401kisfun · 2019-12-08T00:39:41+00:00

Be sarcastic and exaggerate when you speak. The less serious the better.

doublerumbletrouble · 2019-12-08T07:50:33+00:00

You need to be more assertive my man. Look, here's a tip to help you get what you want. Next time you see her say this "Surrender that ass, or every waking moment for you will become a swirling torrent of pain and misery!"

Works every time.

Synstitute · 2019-12-08T03:33:45+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Helenoftroysboytoy · 2019-12-07T19:19:33+00:00

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Title	How to start flirting on a first date?
Author	Babayaga20000
Upvotes	375
Comments	124
Date	December 7, 2019 7:14 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/e7ih7l/how_to_start_flirting_on_a_first_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-start-flirting-on-a-first-date.1485578 https://theredarchive.com/post/1485578

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