i am loser

dvidalm1983 · 2021-12-28T13:08:07+00:00

If someone kissed you once then a girl found you attractive. Think on that. Think in what she found attractive about you then work on those qualities. Then try to find wich qualities you think are not attractive in you for a girl and correct them. Mostly is a mental game is almost all in your head. Most people believe it or not sabotage themselves specially when they see the finish line. Just take the things with calm, work on yourself (phisically and mentally) and good luck out there mate

SirRothschild313 · 2021-12-28T14:52:14+00:00

Stop watching porn. Eat more fruits and veggies. Hit the gym at least 3 times a week. Develop a sense of style. Become someone worth being with. If you don’t even like yourself, why would women? Forget about them in 2022 and recreate who you are.

letsgetrandy · 2021-12-28T12:42:01+00:00

You need to get out and start stretching your comfort zone. Start conversations. Ask girls out. You’re already NOT getting laid, so there’s nothing to lose, and clearly what you’ve been doing isn’t working…

letsgetrandy · 2021-12-28T12:02:49+00:00

Eat healthy, workout, read more books. Focus on yourself and others will see that and gravitate to you. Stop thinking about the past and just follow these rules. Also remember to be kind. Good luck, friend!

andrewpwiener · 2021-12-28T15:27:25+00:00

Don't put yourself down, keep trying man! Maybe you need to ask yourself -- how do I get laid? Maybe you need to work on yourself before anything. The first thing you need to do is Act Attractive, get into the mindset you deserve a relationship and that you're an awesome guy and be confident! Tell yourself out loud I will lose my virginity! Look yourself in the mirror -- how do I become more attractive? Maybe dress nice, maybe start hitting the gym, literally work on yourself. Start chatting to random people who are out and about, make deep eye contact with women you find attractive on the street. Put it all together one day and start approaching women at bars, on the street anywhere. The possibilities are endless man.

Goldfielddid911 · 2021-12-29T00:04:24+00:00

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Fishrage105 · 2021-12-28T13:41:09+00:00

Bro if that one girl found you attractive chances are others will too. I was also delusional of this that uglier girls see ugly guys as attractive. Nope,they got same tastes. But they usually settle with someone from their league. Same like ugly as fuck guys will want hot chicks. And even if you are good thing is woman don't look only for that. You can always improve. If you are scared of sex, and I know this is not popular opinion go and pay for it. But some expensive nice girl, and not dirt cheap whore and you will see it's not a big deal

DakiAge · 2021-12-28T12:46:29+00:00

You need to change yourself and be a fun and self-confident man to hang out with.

FlanneryODostoevsky · 2021-12-28T17:46:12+00:00

Start by not telling yourself you’re a loser.

Boognish84 · 2021-12-28T12:02:51+00:00

Begin by thinking of yourself as a winner rather than as a loser.

the_bbutterfly · 2021-12-28T12:19:15+00:00

what u do for living mate?

Beybladeer · 2021-12-28T15:25:48+00:00

You kissed a girl. How are you a loser? How do you think people who are in the same boat as you (but are kissless) feel?

Thuglife42069 · 2021-12-28T16:17:52+00:00

Ask yourself how bad of a change you want first.

Write down your flaws, accept them and criticize everything bad about you. People will say to love yourself 100%, etc, but won’t give you the harsh truth of what actually makes a woman attracted to you.

Let’s start with basics. Do you dress well? How are you so sure? r/malefashionadvice is a great way to get feedback.

Obviously get in shape and start eating healthy. Personality wise, are you a boring person? Is it something preventing you from opening up and being likeable? Ask friends for feedback on what you could personally improve on as well. Even family or coworkers.

Sign up for dancing classes. In these training classes, there are 9 females for every 2-3 men that know how to dance. Look into Salsa. This is the one method where women come to you.

Have a career. Depending on a woman’s age. Some will plain not date you nor will introduce you to their family if you don’t make decent money or have a goal. They need the sense of financial security.

If it’s too much work, just get a hot escort for an hour. It’s $300 - $700. But I suggest self improvement, it’s more rewarding.

SnooGiraffes5176 · 2021-12-28T20:40:57+00:00

There’s a badass inside of everyone. Hit the gym, hit the books, and work on your style and image. If you want some good books to start with read The Alchemist and also check out Twelve Against The Gods. Kindle and podcasts are amazing. Watch some badass movies like the original Predator. Picture yourself giving Arnold a strong handshake with your biceps bulging. Good luck bro you got this!

PurnimaTitha · 2021-12-28T22:08:12+00:00

You are not a loser!!!!!!!! You sound self aware and motivated, you might think you are “behind” or missing out but I swear to god, being single and a virgin at 27 is not strange at all!!! Please don’t be hard yourself. I get the “want to change” thing but do it on your own accord please, you don’t owe anyone shit. Your sound perfectly capable of being proactive in dating/sex, it will happen. Just go with the flow. Sorry if I am off course here.

mynameizham · 2021-12-28T22:42:00+00:00

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juln6k · 2021-12-28T13:28:16+00:00

Start with reading the book The Game by Neil Strauss. It changed my whole outlook ok life. (Though the book was writen in the 2000's, before smartphone, the principles remain valid).

It you agree that you need to change your habits to get different outcomes, try the 30 Days Challenge book by the same author.

All the best in your Journey to become your best self!

gld6000 · 2021-12-28T13:19:08+00:00

Start a new project in life!!

Make it your single biggest focus.

EVERY single day add value and effort to this project.

Constantly re-imagine the end goal and keep grinding.

This project is YOU.

Human-City-8231 · 2021-12-28T13:15:01+00:00

Remind me! 2 days

Chicagoj1563 · 2021-12-28T13:36:59+00:00

Ok so you lack a dating life. Why aren't you doing anything about it? Why are you not going out and working on your social skills? You have this negative outlook, yet I don't see you saying anything about going out, socializing with people, and working on improving. Why would you think anything will change if your not addressing the issues?

Snoo-62854 · 2021-12-28T14:22:42+00:00

Don't worry dating is hell for most guys. Keep working on yourself and live in hope that things will get better some day, we don't have alternative. Most guys feel they are loosers.

MInconspicuous · 2021-12-28T16:04:48+00:00

Let's put it this way:

She found you attractive enough to kiss you and take initiative on doing it. That said, you're not a completely loser.

Are you OK with her? Like, even if you guys don't talk anymore, if there aren't harm feelings you could ask her what did she saw on you. Tell her how you feel and that you wanna get better. This way, she won't presume you're into her, but you're just looking for some advice. Why wouldn't she help you? (maybe I'm trying to see the good in people.. Idk)

whomeverIwishtobe · 2021-12-28T17:10:31+00:00

Negative self talk is something nobody else is mentioning but honestly how can anyone be successful when they call themself a loser?

Im your same age but can no longer count how many women I’ve been with and that would never have been possible if I walked around calling myself a loser.

If I sat around calling myself a loser, I would probably be one. In statistics it’s found that success is of course a matter of luck like all things in life, opportunity meets preparation, but there is another factor that is also statistically proven to result in success and that is confidence so the best way to play the numbers is first and foremost; believe in yourself.

QueenQeesha · 2021-12-28T19:14:33+00:00

As a man thinketh, so shall he be. The power of thoughts and words are real. The only thing in your way is you. Peace and power.

reallyred11 · 2021-12-28T19:41:43+00:00

Work on yourself. Read. Better your diet. It’ll help your skin and your energy and looks. Start exercising and workout out. Make yourself look nice. Earn some money. Whatever that looks like for you, Make yourself comfortable. That will radiate. If you are uncomfortable you can’t expect women to be comfortable around you. Groom yourself, once again in whatever way you like. Be clean, smell good. AND SMILE. People love smiling, people love laughing, people love being around good energy. Trust me.

2021-12-28T20:28:19+00:00

Go to a strip club, no expectations, don't go to get laid. Just go there to work out your nerves. You aren't going there to get laid, just to get used to proximity. Try even talking to a few of the women there, they just might even give you some advice you can't find here. Good luck!

DonSpiro92 · 2021-12-28T20:36:30+00:00

Get out of your head. Exercise helps a lot. When the mind is stuck the body must move.

2021-12-28T21:02:28+00:00

When all the covid bullshit ends, go to the Philippines

lowlink · 2021-12-29T01:31:46+00:00

That whole work on yourself and be "someone worth being with" is bs for the most part, yes, try to make yourself as attractive as possible, but you won't get pussy just by going to the gym, this is irrational advice.

You have to go out and interact with as many (attractive) women as you can. Don't download any dating app, they are sausage fests, instead try going to parties, night clubs, whatever, the drinking make socializing easier for the most part. You gotta grow in yourself the belief that you're an attractive man: think about how your life would be having lots of women in it, then go for it, try to live this life, be this man.

If you ever only kissed one girl, the next step is trying to kiss more lol, also I think that any interaction with women is a good thing, you basic social skills to get with women. Heck, any interaction you can have is good, talk to people that work in stores, anyone that seems friendly, say hi, that type of stuff.

Also, if you live with your parents, think about moving out. At the very least, you need to have a job and some sort of income, something you do with your life. If you're just withering in your parents house, it's no wonder you get no women, you gotta go out there and live.

Basically, be brave and act on your dreams, if you have enough drive, you can overcome anything, man

sunkized · 2021-12-29T01:53:48+00:00

I lost my virginity at 28. I said screw being a 30 yr old virgin and just hired an escort. I then focused only on my looks, hit the gym, lost 40lb, Collected as much information on hook up, dating, and seduction as possible.

Forced myself to go out 3 times a week. Only landed 8 dates, 1 hook up, 2 make outs. It's a "success" i suppose because I never thought I would ever be able to do any of this. I Developed an addiction to alcohol and weed. Going through withdrawals right now.

Idk I think I'm fked. I have 4 mental illnesses and severe abandonment issues. Going most of your 20s with no intamacy deteriorates your brain

TheBurningStag13 · 2021-12-29T04:02:57+00:00

Pete Davidson had Grande.

You, sir...can do anything you put your mind to.

Johnarod-99 · 2021-12-28T16:40:17+00:00

Want the real truth and not comforting lies? Look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself, “would I fuck me if I was a woman?” be honest with yourself. You got to put in the work. Go to the gym, increase your finances, increase your knowledge by reading or watching podcast, and improve your mentality(most important). You want to change that’s good. Put in the hard work for 1-2 years straight and improve all the variables I mentioned above and you put yourself in the top 20% of men. Some books you can start reading: Practical Female Psychology* Atomic Habits* Think and Grow Rich*

It’s never too late bro. You’re still young as fuck. Most men don’t reach their prime until mid 30s.

pokemonpokemonmario · 2021-12-28T13:26:03+00:00

Here is a no bullshit guide on how to stop being a loser. https://youtu.be/PYaixyrzDOk the guy is speaking from experience and was a looser himself.

TheGhostOfCamus · 2021-12-28T15:27:56+00:00

Take a martial arts class!

Popular-Rate3182 · 2021-12-28T13:27:55+00:00

Watch Alpha Male Strategies

Rathernotusername · 2021-12-28T17:47:00+00:00

At least you kissed someone

DonnyBomeneddy · 2021-12-28T14:12:19+00:00

Make bank, hit the gym hard. Once you have money and muscle then women are easy

cccutejulia · 2021-12-28T12:50:20+00:00

Act confident, even if you're not. With time you will be.

ass-thetics · 2021-12-28T15:39:51+00:00

Lift.

ThatGuy_Nick9 · 2021-12-28T16:48:01+00:00

I know a lot of losers who found another loser to get married with. Life works out if you put yourself out there

Magnusgud · 2021-12-28T18:44:50+00:00

improve your sexual market value. the only, and easiest way

Emperorm2 · 2021-12-28T18:55:03+00:00

Easiest would to get a dating coach. He would walk you through the journey

MetaphysicPhilosophy · 2021-12-28T19:12:21+00:00

You're only a loser if you believe you are. You can be a winner if you change your mindset and lifestyle. It is never too late to become the king that women will love.

WaterpoloFreak1410 · 2021-12-28T19:39:54+00:00

Stop saying "I am a loser". That would be a good beginning. Focus on yourself by working out, improve in work(if possible). Grind and read posts on this subreddit. I find these posts very clever. "Grab your balls" and just "experiment" with girls with info found on this site and what is the most important - BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. If not you, who will?

2021-12-28T23:34:10+00:00

Think on WHY you want a romantic relationship. For sex? Get game! For a family? Cultivate those qualities who can make you a good husband! To not be alone? That's tough, because no one wants to be with someone who can't be happy by himself. You need to focus on not chasing and working on yourself and you will eventually find someone because you will build confidence

Moxiecodone · 2021-12-29T05:47:00+00:00

I suggest three things to start, in this order: start working out, talk to more people in general with the intent to connect with and understand them, and READ the BEST books (example; how to win friends and influence people).

The first is because you need to build yourself up in a way that YOU find YOURSELF more physically attractive. Simplest way to do that, that also makes others find your more attractive, is working out.

Talking to more people with the intent to connect with and understand them will prime you for having quality conversations naturally. If you are out there thinking about women in particular and about fucking them, it’s like very obvious sales pressure in a sales convo.. you will wreak of desperation. Learn to actually talk to people and see eye to eye with them. Then treat women with the same intent. That doesn’t dismiss your sexual desires or mean to suppress the fact you want to get close to them.. it just means you don’t become outcome dependent.

Reading is because you’re probably socially retarded and are missing some important cognitions about your self and other human beings in general. You need quality education that will release you from your delusions, shine light on your ignorance, and lead you closer to the reality where you can create a good time not just for yourself - but for others as well.

That’s my answer and my explanation of it.

Frigh23 · 2021-12-28T14:57:48+00:00

No you arent loser.

Mingmang445566 · 2021-12-28T18:17:29+00:00

Be honest with yourself bro. Would you fuck you?. Right now go look in the mirror with your shirt off and be realistic with yourself. Realise you have to beat the man in the mirror. Get to the gym 5 times a week, eat clean (hire a trainer or a nutritionist (invest in yourself)). I recommend you watch this video https://youtu.be/f7JIrZ9ekio and as a little note bro, you need to change. It won’t be overnight and will most likely take a 6-12 months to increase your smv (sexual market value) but it is worth it in the end brah.

benjacom08 · 2021-12-28T18:47:49+00:00

Look at Based Zeus channel on YouTube. Has a lot of good stuff.

the_reql · 2021-12-28T19:32:18+00:00

Most straight-forward and effective way to teach yourself that you have value- 'Starting Strength' by mark Rippetoe. Completing 5 reps when you aren't sure you can has an affect on the mind. Then you do it 5 pounds heavier.

Additional_Might7358 · 2021-12-28T19:54:42+00:00

Your not alone, some people need time to discover who they are as person. I’m currently 24, never dated, the only time I kissed a girl was in high school (she said I was cute and wanted to kiss me )

buffrmikaplz · 2021-12-28T20:03:07+00:00

Your not a loser bro, your a fucking king my guy!

_badboy6969 · 2021-12-28T20:23:40+00:00

Be a bad ass. That’s the point. 2 rules. 1. Who CARES about what she thinks or said about you 2. You are the most important person in the relationship.

Calm_Masty_8542 · 2021-12-28T20:24:08+00:00

Be genuinely caring and show some love to women, which should be your reflection of a person! Now there is difference between nice and caring! Dont be nice but do care about everyone around you . Other i would say let thi gs flow, you just have to be there!

DTowwns · 2021-12-28T20:27:01+00:00

Than you are. And you'll remain one until you stop saying so. You surely weren't fn born one though.

james609 · 2021-12-28T20:47:34+00:00

Workout get swole muthafucka!!!!!!

tomtomdarry · 2021-12-28T21:31:04+00:00

Pick a cafe in your neighbourhood where people come to work and go work out of there every single day.

You don’t have to do anything there, just go sit and do your thing.

In a few days you’ll get so comfortable with the place and people that it’ll be effortless to say hello to any girl who visits.

You’re welcome.

spacemangoes · 2021-12-28T21:54:44+00:00

No. You are not a loser. Online dating just made it hard for regular guys. If it’s something that’s bothering you, just go see a hooker, bro. A lot of people might be against the idea. You’ll probably gain some confidence. But, it’s your life. You do whatever you want.

bigtitty_azn · 2021-12-28T22:20:42+00:00

Put yourself out there and meet people! Or even online. Use your single time right now to keep improving and better yourself, so when a girl comes along you’ll be the best version of yourself! Don’t let that get to you or bring you down.

PristineAd9800 · 2021-12-28T22:28:38+00:00

Let’s see how you look. This might be a simple shower, hair cut and clothing change

RinkyInky · 2021-12-28T22:40:00+00:00

General advice: start with the gym and a job (any job that’s interests you, don’t be afraid to change it) , fix your teeth and skin, spend on a proper barber (one that talks you through it, try a few different ones) and to get a hairstyle that suits you. Dress acceptably.

Hang out with different groups of friends, not just one, engage in small talk with people (anyone, cashiers, neighbours, old ladies, men). Reading is good, but I’ll rather do audiobooks cause you can do physical activities like jogging and walking while doing so.

Take risks that might hurt your ego and ask girls out.

Take classes (martial arts, rock climbing, baking, cooking etc)where there’s a social aspect.

Powerzz999 · 2021-12-28T22:46:20+00:00

Just get good at something - anything, really good. Rest will fix from there

tree73729 · 2021-12-28T22:58:05+00:00

Like other have implied, it's important not to dwell on your negative thoughts about yourself. Sometimes you have to negotiate with that negative part of yourself. It might be difficult for you to let go of the belief that "i am a loser". If so, would you agree that you are not always a loser? No one is 100% this way or that way. We humans are too complex to be reduced down to a single label. I'm willing to bet you have accomplished many things in your life. You mentioned in a reply that you graduated environmental engineering school. So you are not being a loser by finishing school.

2021-12-28T23:24:46+00:00

Guess what? You are not a loser. Having no sexual relationship doesn’t make you a loser. I know many people out there who are virgins thinking the same thing. In reality many people find it hard to find a suitable partner and no, hookups or short term relationships are not considered success. Basically, people who are lonely happen to be in this situation either because they don’t meet enough people or have absolutely no motivation doing so due to difficulties they face in life. Imagine a man who lacks a stable job, has no idea where he is going in life and has bad relationships with his parents. Odds are he won’t have any motivation to do anything. His attitude will reveal his true psychological state inadvertently. My advice would be fixing your life first. Make sure your life is going as you wish. This will make you positive and motivate you to meet new people. Most problems stem from within and those are the hardest to solve. Last but not least, if not most, many people feel lonely and you are no exception my friend. I have many friends and have met many people who feel lonely but if asked feel like the majority have stable relationships lmao.

Coloradoripping · 2021-12-29T00:36:18+00:00

Are you fat?

No_Magazine_8671 · 2021-12-29T00:40:49+00:00

You’re not a loser u just keep going after the wrong women. I think it’s sexy that u are a virgin I wish I could meet a guy who is a virgin

mr305pr · 2021-12-29T02:37:27+00:00

Be careful with how you talk to yourself, it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy, if you say you are a loser, you are right, if you say you can overcome it and not be a loser you will be right too....

Kobe_curry24 · 2021-12-29T02:48:04+00:00

😂😂😂

Kobe_curry24 · 2021-12-29T02:51:19+00:00

Bruv find a dude who gets women and go out with him 5 days a week pick up girls talk to them each time I would watch Todd V on YouTube you need experience you Goal should be to get one women all you need is one then focus on getting more … you should hit the gym get fit and talk to as many women as possible if you truly want women..

APimpNamedSimp · 2021-12-29T03:02:39+00:00

I’ve heard you gotta love yourself but I also know money talks but I’ve also know some girls will fuck anyone cause they got kinks and shit so idk man that’s a good fucken question ...

UnbordereGear · 2021-12-29T03:48:27+00:00

My guy, don't use that word lightly. I understand that nowadays people say it a lot, but you're far from a loser.

You got a kiss already, you might be lazy. Lazy, when it comes to working on yourself.

God gives you everything you need to succeed, you have to take the time to understand and develop the qualities that make you special.

Don't expect it to be easy, or waste your time comparing yourself to others.

Trust and believe in the process. I have a read on us, I want to help the ones that don't see their full potential:

https://www.nerdycharmer.com/category/confidence/

We also have a dating section; please let us know what sort of subjects you need help in.

Take that word out of your vocabulary my guy.

eyesopen1111 · 2021-12-29T04:13:21+00:00

One kiss means you are not a complete loser. What do you have to offer a girl?

Assthetics_1 · 2021-12-29T04:17:19+00:00

I would start going to the gym and work on your body and self improve your self. Focus on your diet and if you have the money hire a personal trainor. Try and put on some muscle and have a more masculine image.

2 I would go out to bars and clubs and approach as many women as you can and build some social skills.

The main thing you should focus on is developing social skills, improving your looks and over all SMV.

richponyquan · 2021-12-29T05:16:18+00:00

Have you ever considered growing a beard?

Clarkeprops · 2021-12-29T15:29:13+00:00

Go to the gym, get a cool hobby, improve yourself. If you can’t catch any fish, use better bait

Title	i am loser
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	194
Comments	163
Date	December 28, 2021 11:58 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/rqe90d/i_am_loser/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-am-loser.1270157 https://theredarchive.com/post/1270157

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