Is there a nice guy game?

hunterpua · 2024-09-13T10:20:31+00:00

Does anyone think the nice guy is better at pulling certain types of girls?

Yes. Women who are generally more pessimistic tend to gravitate more towards nice guys.

That's not a shot against nice guys. I'm being serious, and the women don't have to be downright depressed or emo goths or something, just women who lean more towards seeing things as glass half empty rather than glass half full.

I'm sure you already know people like that who are generally cool but just have a more pessimistic outlook that you only find out about when you get closer with them. And I'm sure some of those people are the women you've slept with from being more nice.

Another circumstance when being nice will benefit you is when she views you as out of her league.

If she thinks you're someone that can easily get a girl like her and you come in like a full on bad boy, she'll be more guarded because she'll feel pathetic for being so easy when it looks to her like you'd never really give a shit about her anyway.

Whereas if you're more nice to her that makes her feel better about being easy because at least in her mind there's hope that you won't be a dick about that.

Also, there has never been any problem with being kind, considerate, and respectful.

The kind of nice guys that finish last are the ones who are only being nice to get something. They don't actually value kindness, being considerate, or respect, they just put on an act so people will like them.

That makes them come off as fake, needy, unconfident, and pathetic.

But if what guides you are your actual principles, then even if you are a nice guy, you won't necessarily be nice all the time and you won't be agreeable or easily controlled either, because you won't be compromising your value and beliefs just to suit others.

In that case, even if you are kind, considerate, and respectful, you still also come off as confident and strong.

Cycklops · 2024-09-13T10:48:42+00:00

A nice guy can still be willing to walk away, just for nice reasons. "I think I'm not your type." etc.

Iharf · 2024-09-13T13:26:48+00:00

I think there is. But you can't be nice all the time. I think of myself as a nice guy. I do genuinely care about people. I'm in a field that reflects that and I'm often told it. Yet, I'm successful with women, and I don't run any game. I actually don't like it, i dipped my toes in it and didn't like the manipulation and it didn't feel satisfying once the women caught real feelings.

Instead, I'm just myself. Honestly. And that might sound stupid but it's the facts. I think what it is is twofold, at least. I'm nice to everyone, not just women, so I guess that makes it seem authentic. Secondly, women aren't exposed to a lot of gentlemen, and I believe in the old school in that sense, so it makes you standout.

However, there are a few things that I've found really keeps a woman's attention. Treat her well, but don't idolize her. Say how you feel, even when you disagree, women respect that. Make decisions and stand by them, they respect that even more. Make them feel safe - and this one is very important. Women need to feel safe with you, as in you can protect them. And that applies to many things, not just the physical world and the threat of violence. If a woman feels safe with you in all aspects, i.e. Financially, physically, emotionally (and dare I say sexually and spiritually), she doesn't go anywhere. Another thing that women find attractive, and I may even say, alluring... Is mystery. I'm not speaking abt hocus pocus foolery, I mean don't just spill all your beans as if you're desperate for acceptance. Humans are intrigued by the unknown. Keep parts of you to yourself until she's shown you that she deserves your vulnerability, that's when it's cherished. If it's given too easily it won't be valued (in many cases).

You also have to show them that your focus is you, yes, they get your time when it's afforded, but your world can't revolve around them. And finally, be honest. I've been honest abt my intentions a lot and surprisingly sometimes they go along with it. I breach the topic of sex very early, because it's important to me and I don't compromise on it. If this isn't what you want, we can be friends. And when you're friends just be friends, no flirting or subversion. When women know that you're willing to walk away, they take you seriously. And being taken seriously is the basis of self-respect (and respect).

So yes, that's a mouthful, but it's the reality of some. If you're nice, be that person but also true to yourself. Work on being the best version of you, a rising tide lifts all ships. And don't be afraid to show your teeth or stand your ground. And you'll be fine. Everyone's path is different.

Edit: and yes, nice guys do keep certain types of women interested for longer. I'll colloquially refer to the 'bad' ones, that's the women who play the game as we do, that type you won't hold for long (as a nice guy) unless she's trying to get out of the game or you're providing something she wants. I wouldn't play that game, it's dangerous. Leave the 'bad'girls for the 'bad' boys. They belong, that drama self-perpetuates and you don't want any part of it, unless you're looking for 'fun' or you're just damaged like that. I've dated a couple 'bad' girls and it's fun while the peace holds, if you don't want commitment that's the game to play. But usually, if you're a nice guy, you attract and keep the 'good' women. Now, keep in mind everything I've mentioned above. If a woman is 'good' she doesn't chase the games and excitement, and that's what 'bad' boys are associated with. Maybe they've tried it and it hurt or maybe it's just not what they want. Stability is boring, but in all fairness the game isn't about stability. I will plainly state (again) tho that nice guys can't be nice all the time, and the two places that matters most is how you relate to other men and the world, and in bed. It's important to make their fantasies happen.

Western-Month-3877 · 2024-09-13T08:52:37+00:00

Nice is typically equated with boring and predictable. Because the supply is high and the demand is low. Most men are nice thus it’s free, it’s everywhere. When something is free it’s usually not wanted/low demand.

Now imagine a world where every guy is mean and cruel. They say hi by spitting on your face. They yank your hair whenever they talk to you. Then in that world you can sell “nice”.

Not saying you should be cruel and mean, but if niceness is your selling point then you’re doomed because everyone else is selling it. You can still be nice, but I think like respect, it should also be earned.

shittybillz · 2024-09-13T17:19:03+00:00

Genuinely nice guys are not the nice guys girls reference. “Nice guys” are needy unconfident guys who look at relationships as transactional.

If you were genuinely nice but confident, not needy etc, you can pull women.

Not_Without_My_Cat · 2024-09-13T14:19:45+00:00

What do you mean by nice? Of course nice guys can get girls. If a guy is hesitant and apologetic, that’s not going to be a good strategy for sleeping with me. But if he is curious and generous and playful and persuasive while still being respectful of my boundaries, then I’m going to assume he is going to be very very good about giving me multiple orgasms.

zerohunterpl · 2024-09-13T10:06:54+00:00

Ok so if im a nice guy what should I do

Sabre-Tooth-Monkey · 2024-09-13T10:26:38+00:00

Closest thing you're gonna get is Zan Perrion, The Alabaster Girl. Really great read. Not about being 'nice', but is probably what you're after.

2024-09-13T10:52:21+00:00

Not really - nice guys give girls the willes. There are exceptions but any woman worth her salt knows that most nice guys are wearing a mask.

Women are like you and I - we are attracted so so many things that are different.

One major thing that sticks out is the modeling of a relationship they've grown up with. If you/they had a shiity models you'll see they gravitate to those types of men/women in relationships unless they become self aware of the issues and make an effort to break the training.

This is where attachment theory comes into play. I recommend reading the book "attached".

It's not a pickup book - its a relationship guide on how to ID different attachment styles.

It'll help you ID if you've got your own issues that make you avoidant or anxious vs secure as well as see the hallmarks in others.

Anyways - TLDR: no.

TheSnake1313 · 2024-09-13T08:21:16+00:00

Short answer: no

A little more elaborated answer: often when girls, especially the not-extremely-pretty ones, grow up and get burned by the shocking discovery that the awesome badass charming guy (ABC guy) is not putting them at the center of his universe, and he is actually having sex with multiple partners, they can reframe their expectations and turn to a man who they can trust he would never hurt them and always say yes to every whim: the nice guy. But they will always long for the ABC guy, and they would launch themselves into his bed at the slightest chance.

srwat · 2024-09-13T08:44:05+00:00

If you max body game, learn enough general game to keep a girl engaged with you with varying emotions, you can be more “nice”.

The main issue with being “nice” is many times it really is being too inauthentic with yourself and girls have an ability to instinctually read your inner vibe usually extremely well. You can still be kind within reason and not a pushover while being strong/dominant.

shinn497 · 2024-09-13T12:26:20+00:00

You can game women while being kind to them. The issue is not being kind. It is being entitled. Don't expect a good woman 's attraction because you are nice you will have to provide something else.

Kylearean · 2024-09-13T14:23:36+00:00

One thing I've learned is that there's still a decent amount of random chance in the game. There's no "one" technique, but I always found that I was doing best when I riding that edge between obvious player and assertive guy. Being genuine really helped a lot, because I would always get "you're not one of those players are you?" and my response, invariably, was "do I look like that kind of guy?". I wasn't peacocking, and I think that worked.

Basically I always tried to be completely orthogonal to the types of guys in her orbit. Also heard this a lot: "You're so different than other guys." and "I normally wouldn't do this...". This is her convincing herself that her feelings are valid.

pissshitfuckcuntcock · 2024-09-13T15:16:18+00:00

Nice guy here with no game, I don’t even try. Very empathetic by nature. I just talk to Women like I would anyone else. Crack jokes, ask questions, but I don’t go out of my way to show interest. This is not a conscious decision. Last thing I want to do is spend my odd night out chasing. It seems to work. I get hit on, or asked for my number. I am nothing special. 5’9, decent looking for my age (38.) Just put myself in enough social situations and try to have a good time and things just happen. I’m sure i’ve blown a shitload of opportunities by not being more proactive or assertive, but I don’t really care. I’ve done okay.

DaygameCode · 2024-09-13T15:48:11+00:00

Being nice isn’t a personality.

Being nice is subjective because the vast majority of people would think of themselves as nice people even if they have completely different values.

It’s simplistic to define someone’s entire personality as “nice”.

Then again, if you mean those who self-identify as nice guys whining that they treat the girl “super well” and resent the fact that they don’t get rewarded with sex or romance for it, well i have bad news for them. Even if they treated the girl badly and acted in a way that they think is what a “bad” guy would do, they still wouldn’t get laid or get girlfriends or anything.

So, it’s irrelevant if they are nice or awful with women or if they are anything in between, because the reason they don’t get girls has nothing to do with that. Women are not moral guardians that reward or punish guys based on the nice or awful deeds the guy does.

AnthonyPillarella · 2024-09-13T17:32:43+00:00

Most - fuck it, all - self-described "nice guys" are pushovers and people pleasers who are afraid to take action and frustrated that the world isn't rewarding the pain they've put on themselves (ask me how I know).

If you're genuinely nice and don't do that stupid shit, it's very easy to be attractive.

Kindness is attractive, especially to emotionally mature women.

The unspoken expectations and entitlement of "nice guys" is repellent.

atomant88 · 2024-09-13T18:22:59+00:00

Nice has nothing to do with game

If anything it enhances game

But it's ultimately tertiary

cutthechatter_red2 · 2024-09-13T20:04:48+00:00

Kind guy game, for sure. Nice guy, I don’t think so unless your value is clearly and obviously through the roof.

Whoareyou559 · 2024-09-13T23:00:33+00:00

No, no there is not. Chivalry only works if they know you are capable of the opposite

Affectionate-Ant4888 · 2024-09-13T23:25:31+00:00

I would argue women with problems gravitate towards nice guys lol, old women, ugly women, women with severe trauma, I've seen it lol, and even then the nice guy stereotype is so bad that eventually these women will also leave you lol, changing from a nice guy will not only help with women but a shit ton of other dimensions in life, the most fundamental thing and perhaps foundation is always saying NO, always tell her NO to the woman, thats the best thing to say to women and the first step in destroying the nice guy persona from you.

DrinksAreOnTheHouse · 2024-09-13T23:41:03+00:00

The flaw is in your logic of being a nice guy. You can be nice and kind but still have boundaries and self worth. You dont necessarily need to be a people pleaser and diminish yourself while also being a gentleman.

D4rkr4in · 2024-09-14T00:50:17+00:00

Wishful thinking

BichitoChingon · 2024-09-14T07:58:24+00:00

I'm way more comfortable being a nice guy than any other kind of game. Normally something I've been told while trying to flirt being a nice guy is that I'm a walking green flag, I guess that's some kind milestone I try to aim for.

Ragnardanneskjunior · 2024-09-13T12:30:54+00:00

I used to be a nice guy and I would get plenty of interest from women but that is where it typically ended. I had no idea how to convert the interest I caught into the sexual zone so I did exactly what Dr. Glover said and got stuck in the friend zone. Nice guys must learn to be disagreeable and that does not mean that you lack tact but that you can politely or sarcastically disagree at any time without having an ego about it. Being overly nice is simply not something that attracts women. Being polite and playful (tactfully disagreeable) will get you further than being a jerk in general but not necessarily with the most attractive women that are accustomed to princess treatment. Also, do not hesitate to cut short any interaction whether it be a first meeting or a date if a woman is not respectful or unkind. Always be willing to walk.

NiceGuysDatingCoach · 2024-09-13T13:10:23+00:00

Absolutely.

There is no such thing as "too nice", but you can be "too boring". You can be nice, communicate clearly and openly and girls will love you for it.

Tacale · 2024-09-13T13:58:08+00:00

I know a guy who is very conventionally attractive, tall, long hair, good face, who is also a total nice guy very beta, fights with manipulation, afraid to raise his voice, always fake positive.

He gets attention from girls. I know some who ask him out.

Probably it does come back to bite him later though. And I suspect the girls asking him out aren't the ones you want.

Badguy60 · 2024-09-13T14:32:58+00:00

Yes

shittybillz · 2024-09-13T17:09:14+00:00

Genuinely nice guys are not the nice guys girls reference. “Nice guys” are needy unconfident guys who look at relationships as transactional.

If you were genuinely nice but confident, not needy etc, you can pull women.

Kobe_curry24 · 2024-09-14T20:48:39+00:00

So ask your friend man you guys constantly get up here and think there’s a Bible for this lol you use what works and then make a system to get what you want , if your “nice guy game” w.e works then write it down use those points find those woman.often times it’s the woman (type) of women your attracting that sets these standards for game

Kobe_curry24 · 2024-09-14T20:55:07+00:00

The problem you having is you think that by being this way “nice” it’s morally right way to get woman and getting woman is not some moral right thing cause sex is involved, also you think that if you become this then your more attractive but it’s not being more Redpilled or nice that gets you more women. It’s becoming your most authentic self that will get you the most attractive woman . Woman at the heart want authenticity not some mask that your wearing . When you figure out what that authentic self is than Your be better man and attractive man .

New-Temperature-4067 · 2024-09-19T10:58:16+00:00

Is he nice in the sense that he is insecure, or is he nice in a respectful way which they appreciate. there is a big difference. you can be nice and confident even when not being a dick.

Like men, women also have their preferences. The one who rejects you might be more into his vibe. or vice versa.

DNUS5 · 2024-09-13T11:39:51+00:00

Very interesting, so the friend you have who make a lot of girls while being nice?

He looks very good right? As the others say I dont think you can pull it of if you dont look good.

Numbaonenewb · 2024-09-13T17:00:34+00:00

Not really. Nice guys or any type of guy will always lose out to what i consider to be the complete package kind of guy.

They have traits that they can embody on demand such as confident, charismatic, Charming, eccentric, creative, magnetic, compassionate, spontaneous, exciting, energetic, inspirational, bold, courageous, assertive, dynamic, adaptable, positive, alluring, determined, Seductive, sensitive, light hearted, playful, authentic, expressive, vibrant, uplifting, open to new things, emotionally intelligent, versatile, free flowing, graceful, breath taking, etc.

The more traits you are comfortable embodying at any given moment, the better.

I can embody all of those and more, although as a default, I'm normally in the eccentric, playful, light hearted and creative energy.

I'm an average looking guy but when I go out put together in my self created fashion style, men, women, 80 year old, 5 year olds, white, black, straight, gay, man hating lesbians, single, married couples, they all can't help but turn to admire.

If you want to step up your game, learn how to dress better.

From my experience, a sharp dressed man will always outshine any other style any day and men in general look good suited up.

You might get bites from women but women become obsessed with me. They sometimes be hyperventilating.

scepter_707 · 2024-09-13T17:08:26+00:00

There a book called No more Mr Nice guy you should read. Have morals. Have standards. Be a decent human being. But be selfish with your time. Your needs. Your attention. The term “nice guys finish last” is because they usually either don’t know or aren’t upfront with what they want and are usually disappointed when they don’t get it…

Fragrant-Income1084 · 2024-09-13T07:57:51+00:00

Nope

pepskino · 2024-09-13T10:08:14+00:00

Na you gotta be a jerk

Title	Is there a nice guy game?
Author	Sharp-Safety-9260
Upvotes	124
Comments	55
Date	September 13, 2024 7:52 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ffp9lu/is_there_a_nice_guy_game/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-there-a-nice-guy-game.1529989 https://theredarchive.com/post/1529989

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