Maybe = No, right?

IDhl89 · 2022-02-22T15:21:20+00:00

I think your pickup line was a bit cringe but I think in this case maybe just means maybe

How about next time you see her you just ask her out. Say “hey there is this bar/lounge/coffee shop/whatever I’ve been meaning to check out. Are you free this weekend so we can go together?”

No lines or tricks needed. This will get you a yes or no. I hate maybe’s lol

Allaiyah · 2022-02-22T15:21:07+00:00

Listen to what others are saying.

Moving forward I'd be totally be friendly, but maybe keep it passive for now. Like say hey and smile as you pass by. No need to stop and chat unless you feel invited.

BestAdviceYouCanHave · 2022-02-22T14:11:08+00:00

Maybe means maybe… the pick up line was cringe and she probably thought the same however she said maybe and perhaps is willing to forget about it if you can be less creepy the second time. She’s giving you a chance mate. Take it. Be nice be natural and you’re in!

ChoppedBelAir · 2022-02-22T15:20:10+00:00

Maybe is just that. Maybe. Depends how she said it. I say go for it. Either she accepts or you accept her as a friend. Better to do it sooner so you don't build it up in your mind

itsnimportequoi · 2022-02-22T15:11:52+00:00

"It's either a fuck yes, or a no."- Mark Manson

Burburrymealive · 2022-02-22T13:46:02+00:00

I don’t know why each time I see you here, you get progressively more and more fine.

Cringe

determinator94 · 2022-02-22T23:32:24+00:00

Number 1 reaction you want is a RESOUNDING DEFINITE “YES”. So yeah - maybe = no

cormacru999 · 2022-02-23T01:53:27+00:00

It really depends on the individual. Some have a great sense of who they are & what they want or what they are willing to do. But many, especially young, men AND women, are not sure, they aren't confident, they don't have a lot of self worth.

A no, is absolutely a NO. A I don't know, is probably a no. But a maybe could be either. The real problem here is that instead of talking about her character, her personality, what makes her a PERSON, you talked about how attractive you find her to be. Women are bombarded with what men think about how hot, or in truer terms, how fuckable they are, & hearing that from you - if she liked you a little - just confirmed for her that you are just like most guys. You're thinking about YOU, what YOU see, what YOU like. That's a good way to blow your chance with a woman. I can see by your edit that others said that, but I hope that way that I lay it out helps clarify WHY it was wrong.

If you do like her, as a person, if you want to try dating her, like for a legitimate romantic relationship, I would talk to her again, when she seems free, not busy, not occupied with other things & apologize. A man that is vulnerable & has self worth, who is not fragile like so many men, will simply say, "Hey, I fucked up before, I talked about your appearance, because its easy & we all sort of start there. But the truth is, I really was interested in (fill in what you like about her as a person), & if you were willing, I would really like to meet up with you at some point, no expectations, no obligations, you don't have to give me an answer right now. Just think about it, & then let me know, & we'll make a plan.

MANY men, especially on Reddit will read what I wrote & think its weak, its too nice, too giving, too hard, or just not cool & manly. But I'm almost 50 & I have never failed to date a woman I was interested in. In fact, my problems were that I was too good at it & not a better man to appreciate what I had. Good luck.

Solid_Cow6468 · 2022-02-22T15:26:10+00:00

Yeah man the pickup line was not a good move specially since it’s just commenting on looks which can make women a little uncomfortable. So maybe next time you try to speak to her, let her know that u realise your pick up line was a bit weird and ask more casually. Almost admitting that your inexperienced and nervous could help.

Shadow__Account · 2022-02-22T15:59:18+00:00

If it’s a playful maybe than it could be all good. As in she is used to make guys work for it and she is into you. Playing hard to get or playing games. I usually just keep going and propose something concrete, if they say maybe again or whatever I’ll be straight up. Look I’m interested, I liked that you blabla but I don’t chase or play games. If you are not interested that’s perfectly fine, but let me know. I can’t deal with that bullshit of not knowing if she is interested or just enjoying the attention and keeping you in a string.

epicharlie12 · 2022-02-22T16:02:43+00:00

Your post sounds really cringe but, bitch, you didn't even ask her out. You just gave her some shitty rhetorical question that will never get a decent answer.

You were supposed to say: "Well how about we get a drink sometime, free tomorrow or otherwise Saturday at 8 pm?" That's when you know.

skaag · 2022-02-22T16:06:04+00:00

Don’t make it awkward. Just ask if she wants to grab a smoothie together after the workout. Gym situations are tricky to begin with because it’s the most cliche thing in the world and everybody approaches everybody.

2022-02-22T16:42:13+00:00

Honestly I think she was just trying to not make it awkward by flat out rejecting you. In this case im going to go with her saying maybe means no in this instance. Although you did get your foot in the door so next time just say hey to her and keep on moving. See if she approaches you in the future. Don't creep.

Important-Quote9544 · 2022-02-22T18:51:48+00:00

“Maybe, I’ll let you know, I’m so busy”= NO

theMystk · 2022-02-23T05:32:18+00:00

Your "should" resulted in an equally vague "maybe". Why are you waiting for her to ask for your number? Don't be vague, don't dance around the bush, be confident and direct about what you want.

At no point in the above interaction did you "close"--closest you came to was a "trial close" with your word choice.

Don't think that interaction was negative (but don't have the context or the visual cues of body language to go off of). Seems you got a true maybe.

Be man (or woman) enough to actually close:

"Well then...how about Wednesday or Thursday around 8pm?"

Lord_Augastus · 2022-02-23T06:05:36+00:00

Maybe means maybe, you treat it as a no, incase it is.

Redechinacea · 2022-02-22T15:41:59+00:00

Ask her. You could say "so I really don't know what to say, but as you know, I've noticed you around here and my gut instinct says you would be really good company, but I of course don't want to insult you and my analysis of your maybe wasn't very conclusive. So would you like to have a cup of something Thursday afternoon?" That is being honest and respectful. You have to sound confident when you say it though.

Also sometimes maybe means maybe, and is not a way of avoiding to give an answer. Your interaction with her was very short, and she might have felt like she was being put on the spot.

ZoeticLark · 2022-02-22T14:01:23+00:00

I think it might be possible... that while your bold come on is attractive bc you're taking command and letting her know something about you, it is a strong come on... This would be a good moment for some pacing... You don't have to charge in and then expect an absolute... It's too soon for that... She's just become aware of your intent or presence... Let it sink in for a moment. Remain open and kind. You now have her attention, what you do from here will tell her a lot about how you handle the tension. If you try to force something, it's like shaking a tree to get fruit... some trees like a little wind, but not to be shaken. Some trees you can climb all over, some break if you do that.. women are just as varied, so you cant assume too much, just look for markers and know which stage of pacing you are in. This things require time, for the imagination to spark... Whether she shows it or not, she will be noticing you, so the body language you convey from here is key. Also, you don't want to make her uncomfortable being at the gym if she doesn't want to date you, would you? If she does show you some smile or other indicator, don't rush back in then; she already knows you are bold... she wants to know if you have any nuance... if you have interest in her or just her jewels... at least I would, if I'm to break down what my mind goes through in the flirtation dance... A possible next step, after waiting for some signal (you may have to wait a few weeks, dont assume to know whats up in her life) is to be curious about her and what she wants. Start with something simple like a curiosity about what she likes to drink. Maybe its tea?
Just some thoughts. Leave the black and white ideas behind... some people are much too nuanced for immediate changes and some take longer to make decisions, respect the process, and don't take anything personally with people you hardly know. In the long run, you never know who else is watching you too. Maybe=remain curious

Lifedeather · 2022-02-23T08:04:09+00:00

Please don’t use drink, as someone who doesn’t really drink that would be a turn off almost immediately. You are assuming the person drinks, try something a bit more general then ease up onto that stuff.

j_tothemoon · 2022-02-22T15:09:56+00:00

Give it up, mixed is a no

You seemed way too sexual at first, I would have said something like "I'm watching you, your progress in the last weeks is incredible! How have you achieved that?" and would have built from there.

theowawausyss · 2022-02-22T14:30:37+00:00

Yup balls in her court

2022-02-22T15:14:22+00:00

In this case it means "no", you probably missed the jump from friendly talking to potential hookup.

mabden · 2022-02-22T15:45:47+00:00

When you offer nebulous plans, you get nebulous responses.

Be direct, be specific, have a purpose, IOW, don;t pussy foot around.

2022-02-22T16:15:38+00:00

Maybe means she doesn’t know yet if she’s into you. It’s your task to turn it into a yes.

Go for it! And once you date her nail it

aStonedPanda94 · 2022-02-22T16:19:09+00:00

If she’s not excited, then it’s not worth your time. Unless she has conflicting schedule (which she would mention) then she is trying to avoid hanging out.

Perfect_War5446 · 2022-02-22T16:37:17+00:00

The pick up line was too much tbh

2022-02-22T17:18:43+00:00

That compliment was crusty. Maybe definitely means no in this case.

bbkkm2 · 2022-02-22T20:12:47+00:00

Pretty sleazy pick up imo

damiancontrol · 2022-02-22T20:50:14+00:00

imo, the pick-up line wasn't the biggest sin here (although yeah it could be better)

It was your transition.

You basically just said: "You're hot, let's get a drink"

The fuck?

tantrasmoke · 2022-02-22T21:33:29+00:00

Here is the general rule: never use a pickup line. They all are terrible. Just be real and say “ let’s go out fir a drink”

2022-02-23T01:28:43+00:00

Maybe= yes, if you play your cards right.

FeelingRisk89 · 2022-02-23T02:33:26+00:00

"Don’t worry, I developed good rapport weeks before I asked the question." LOL. You must be trolling.

2022-02-23T03:05:59+00:00

Yea tbh

Sawt0othGrin · 2022-02-23T04:19:16+00:00

If it's not a hard yes, or a no with clear interest in rescheduling, it might as well be a no.

2022-02-23T05:44:03+00:00

You set everything up and then you didn’t close. You should’ve asked her for her number after offering to buy her a drink. Ask her out the next time you see her, if she hasn’t hooked up with someone else already.

fullofilthnjoy · 2022-02-23T06:40:46+00:00

Some girls are pleased and flattered by pickup lines. They just happen to be the same girls who will seek out any flattery or attention from all guys. It's like they're hooked on it. You have to work really hard to compete to maintain these girls' attention. If you want a more quality connection, think what you're looking for, and how to clearly express that you someone, with an eye on it offering them something, too. Be considerate of them, show interest and ask questions that will tell you things about them. If you're just looking to get some exposure/experience, ease into it, and then ask for what you want. Being real and repping your intent early on is like confidence, you can be cool and respectful and be like, hey, I'm kinda new to this, and I'm looking for someone to show me what's up. Someone open and cool, a sense of humor is always a plus. I swear, if you're sweet and earnest, there are girls who want to show you what they like and find this to be a huge turn on.

EU-Howdie · 2022-02-23T13:39:41+00:00

Maybe you got a "maybe" on the part if you would find out the answer. In my feeling I think here, in this situation, it is not mend as a "no". So ... dare to ask, to act. When you do not ask you probably have a no, but you maybe get a yes by asking. I would suggest to have 2 clear options, with time and place, and end with, or do you maybe have another idea. At least you will know much more from her reaction how she feels about you. Good luck !!

gangoni · 2022-02-23T21:31:18+00:00

Another version

Me: I seen you put in work today, I want to reward your efforts “ joking manner since y’all have some rapport”

Her: laughs or says some shit as a response

Me: Join me for a drink sometime this week.

If after that she says yes then put your number in her phone and text your phone, if she shows no interest back off

PatientAssociation62 · 2022-02-24T02:15:34+00:00

Maybe = No

Oftentimes they won't come out and say "no". They don't want to hurt your feelings or have to deal with drama. I've seen dudes totally lose their shit when a girl says "no" and she's likely had the same experience.

Like someone else said, if you have to ask, there's your answer. You should have a definite date in mind before you ask. Your way of asking shows hesitation which signals low confidence. Also that you took several weeks. I would pull away, get something else going, and then possibly revisit.

the_FUEGO_ · 2022-02-26T03:19:39+00:00

You are correct. Don’t waste any more time with her and move on.

karlkrum · 2022-02-26T03:25:37+00:00

that sounds cringe af. You make it sound like you have been creeping on her and her gym progress. Just act like a normal person. The hotter they are the less you should acknowledge their beauty, anything but their looks. Why would she ask you for your number?? You are the man you need to lead things and ask them out, if they say yes then get their number. As soon as you get it, text them something while they're still in front of you.

Title	Maybe = No, right?
Author	habbyshouse
Upvotes	132
Comments	88
Date	February 22, 2022 1:42 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/synwqw/maybe_no_right/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/maybe-no-right.1266154 https://theredarchive.com/post/1266154

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