Stop trying to be funny

FlanneryODostoevsky · 2020-11-11T19:23:04+00:00

"Stop trying..." is more like it. If a joke arises, say it. This "stop trying to be funny" thinking can easily lead to the avoidance of humor which is equally unnatural.

j-agzin · 2020-11-11T15:56:28+00:00

Funny guys fuck. Girls like to laugh not stand there and listen to how mature you are.

Sirregenaldpooppypot · 2020-11-11T18:27:56+00:00

This was great advice for me when I first started. Eventually I became more naturally funny with experience. But trying to be funny was fucking me up for awhile.

FilthyStylish · 2020-11-11T16:30:20+00:00

Being the class clown won’t get you laid. But being overall fun and lighthearted dude will.

throwawaymortyy · 2020-11-11T21:53:47+00:00

Pro tip: If people tell you’re funny, believe it. If you have to tell other people you’re funny, probably not.

2020-11-11T15:49:29+00:00

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DayvyT · 2020-11-11T20:53:15+00:00

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cyrusol · 2020-11-11T22:09:40+00:00

our first goal should be to come off as a guy who's openly being himself.

I am naturally pretty funny. I'm thinking all the time how I can turn anything I see/hear into an inside joke or into dark humor (really borderline on what's socially acceptable) or into a sexual innuendo. It's a reflex, not a conscious decision. When I'm alone that entertains me; I do that to entertain myself primarily anyway and don't care for confirmation or entertaining other people. In order to be serious I have to make a conscious effort.

Am I screwed in your mind?

(Of course not, just interested in seeing what you'd respond with.)

KingCeddy24 · 2020-11-11T16:36:43+00:00

I think you have to be playful, challenging, teasing her, tickling her.

Being super funny is not a turn on. I tried this recently. Made them women laugh big time, but in their mind I ended up being the "silly" guy or "clown" if you will.

kalifo_yt · 2020-11-11T21:34:15+00:00

girls tell me my whole demeanor is funny like sometimes i’d just say something that’s not even funny and they will giggle but i need to learn to be more serious

DrewforPres · 2020-11-12T00:56:02+00:00

I disagree. You don't have to be Dave Chappelle, but (good) humor is probably the easiest way to break the ice and get someone to feel comfortable around you.

You shouldn't be trying to do your stand-up act when you meet someone, but being funny can keep you from coming off as creepy

Illum1nated · 2020-11-11T22:00:40+00:00

There's a colossal difference between being funny and flirty in an playful way vs telling jokes. Don't be the second type.

jeffufuh · 2020-11-11T22:36:59+00:00

I think the point a lot of people are missing here, is that being funny is just not that hard. I bet 80% of the jokes reddit comedians crack among their friends get laughs for no other reason than that leaving a joke hanging is awkward as fuck. Dropping the real-life equivalent of a reddit pun thread and getting the conversational equivalent of a "thanks for holding the door" does not make you the next Dave Chappelle.

There's a reason a bad pun makes people groan. Hint hint, it's because having to laugh at back-to-back low-hanging fruit jokes is exhausting. Don't be a clown. Let people figure out you have a good sense of humor instead of desperately waving it around for positive feedback.

smileeys · 2020-11-12T07:55:19+00:00

Hi guys! I’m a single female and hope you don’t mind if I respond with my reaction to the “funny guy” experience. There’s a lot of good points, and obviously not a one size fits all answer. On one hand, they say if you can make her laugh you can make her do anything. I’m not so sure about anything.. but I get it. On the other hand, and what I think the OP was making a point of, when a guy is focused on making me, or if I’m with my group of ladies, laugh—it becomes awkward. It starts out fun and laid back, as we sip our drinks and eagerly await the fun to begin, that guy, that “funny guy” fishing for laughs becomes a chore I hope that doesn’t sound awful, but again, that’s what was meant by trying to hard. We laugh half-heartedly out of politeness or pity, but any initial attraction is quickly lost. Now, a man that is confident, polite and cracks a joke, whether an inside joke with his guys or a play on words to the group, or whatever, if it’s natural, whether or not it’s side-splitting funny doesn’t even matter. I guess I can say if you make a few attempts and they don’t land, oh well. We aren’t as judge mental as we may come off and if we’re into you, will follow your lead. Meaning, if you brush it off no problem, we follow suit. If you get frustrated or keep on trying too hard, making it awkward, we catch that vibe too. xo

A-constant-beat · 2020-11-11T20:24:00+00:00

I love being funny it! It’s one of my favourite things to do in conversation.

Douglex · 2020-11-11T21:18:16+00:00

The issue here is that guys think the act of making her laugh is what makes her want to have sex with them. So, they end up overdoing it and coming off as needy (the ultimate pussy dehydrator). The truth is that you don't have to be George Carlin levels of funny. If she likes you, she'll laugh at even your weakest jokes. You need to focused on getting to know her, showcasing whatever hard value you have (looks, popularity, connections, knowledge in her field), and escalating.

Siraloneknights · 2020-11-11T20:43:49+00:00

I skimmed over this since I'm mid work out sessions right now but I dont get this post?

I'm 19m and my self esteem has been shit most of my life. Recently it's getting better but I never tried to be funny. My brother is a abusive dick and always insults me and my humor but, most people I met in my life I can make laugh pretty easily.

I give off the impression of the happiest friendly guy on the outside but want to die in reality. The person I show myself off as is not the real me.

Is it possible I'm just a funny person? Making people laugh has never really been an issue for me.

Geekedphilosophy · 2020-11-11T23:47:58+00:00

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kinkornkarn99 · 2020-11-11T22:43:02+00:00

Be fun and playful with the ladies. Organic dialogue and activity rooted in fun will often bribing about laughs, whether you’re a funny guy or not. If you’re trying to be funny, you risk it not being funny.

Just be fun.

Also - Girls will choose the low-key, collected, self-assured type over the funny guy almost every time. They’ll go for Daniel Craig over Jimmy Fallon every time.

Bmang31 · 2020-11-11T22:45:20+00:00

This might be controversial, but I agree with the OP.

aBurgerFlippinSecond · 2020-11-11T23:02:20+00:00

I agree to an extent, although I’d consider “funny/humor” personality to be a lot like salt. Being yourself and being who you are, while also dropping an occasional terrible pun or funny quip is a great accent to pretty much any dish (or yanno, personality). But if that’s basically who you are as a whole? It’s gonna leave a bad taste in your mouth.

GrandMasterB19 · 2020-11-11T23:12:53+00:00

A lot of strange advice being thrown around on this post comment section. Very few people are naturally funny in a way that's also entertaining. Most of those "funny guys" have a social funny bone that stems from a deep unhappiness/unfulfillment with life/themselves. There's a reason most comic genuises are also depressed addicts. Humor should only be one small facet of your personality. Women would rather have a fun guy than a funny guy. You can be fun without being a jokester.

wiskeyjackk · 2020-11-11T23:14:33+00:00

Total nonsense Be urself sure But don't be that miserable guy who doesn't try to have fun

Everyone knows we're not professional comedian's But it shows were interested and trying to be invested in the person Try to be funny even if u fail it's better than being the boring guy who mansplains

Ghandis_Flipflop129 · 2020-11-11T23:53:13+00:00

I think when people try to be funny and force 'banter' it just gets boring and generic after a while.

I want someone to just be them and if I find them funny I find them funny, if I don't then so be it. Not everyone finds everyone funny, different people different tastes.

Apparently to the people I know I am funny, to others I will meet in life I am probably not their sense of humor.

We all click in different ways, that's what creates personality, charisma, character and connections with different people in different ways.

spenrose22 · 2020-11-12T00:03:14+00:00

Or how about this? Be funny and make them laugh and then they’ll want to be around you.

Raizzen · 2020-11-12T00:22:15+00:00

I respectfully disagree. I was once a very stiff, unfunny, an overly serious jock. I wondered why people didn’t particularly like and seemed to wanna get away after getting to know me. The pain. Then I stumbled upon David DeAngelo’s C&F theories and he theorised that being funny can be learned so I did. Oh the early days of trying to be funny and ended sounding like a cocky asshole instead lol.

Of course you’re gonna sound rough initially but I employed the oldest self-improvement technique “fake it till you make it” and so much has improved. I have friends spanning over a couple of decades making a point of staying in touch and the girls situations improved. So much.

A little bit of caution though, like someone said earlier - stop trying (too hard), more like.

My 2 cents.

Edit: OBVIOUSLY you’re gonna have to improve the other aspects of your life too. And learning to be funny is one of them.

STD_Tyler · 2020-11-12T00:41:15+00:00

I don't think there is something as "Naturally Funny". Look at stand up comedians, do you think they improvise on stage? They write jokes, memorize it, how to execute them, and change bad jokes. If they improvise on stage people will boo at them.

So yes, you can memorize few lines here and there and *bang*, you are funny. If you improvise you will keep asking her where she is from and what she does like a boring idiot.

FalconVita · 2020-11-12T01:21:59+00:00

Women really prefer funny guys. But I would not force it. Not all guys are talented with humor. I am funny around by my friends, but not usually with the opposite sex.

bear_tricks · 2020-11-12T01:40:37+00:00

Totally disagree. I made a choice and a conscious effort to learn to be more funny, and it was very worth it.

raquelmckay · 2020-11-12T01:59:13+00:00

THIS. You have no idea how many times I've had desperate guys try the whole "hey look at me I can quote comedians so I'm funny now"

Like come on, I don't care if you make me laugh like Gabriel Iglesias, I just want to see you happy, confident, and being comfortable enough around me to be yourself. It just vibes so much better.

2020-11-12T03:13:58+00:00

I'm engaged to a funny guy. Even our arguments make him laugh. Its super not funny :|

DubDeuceInThisBih · 2020-11-12T04:36:15+00:00

Yeah, I agree. If they like you, any stupid thing will be funny.

Legitimate_Delay · 2020-11-12T04:39:11+00:00

Finally the post I was looking for

0heisenberg0 · 2020-11-12T05:44:17+00:00

This is one of the biggest fault of mine, againist my last crush.

My humor is worked at first meet as a icebreaker but damn.
I just could'nt quit, overteasing, unnecessary jokes even when she ask serios questions.

So i learned that hardway. Just don't be clown.

darthtank70 · 2020-11-12T06:12:07+00:00

I'm screwed either way so it makes no difference to me how I come off

Eircans · 2020-11-12T06:50:35+00:00

Thank you 🙏

King-1000 · 2020-11-12T07:41:15+00:00

I think I'm now confused. What part of my comments do you disagree with?

SlyAngryToast · 2020-11-12T07:47:05+00:00

Just for the record telling a joke properly is a skill and it is nowhere near as funny if you don't do it properly(idk how to explain what properly is exactly but, you deffently know it when you see it).

Icy_Vortex · 2020-11-12T09:16:48+00:00

What if you just naturally like telling jokes and make people laugh without trying.

ItsAXE93 · 2020-11-12T12:08:27+00:00

Does being a nice guy a bad thing ??

Fam-is-ouz · 2020-11-12T13:08:03+00:00

I would say be witty. That really helped me and still does.

Lil_T-Total · 2020-11-12T13:46:48+00:00

I never used to be able to. But since starting my new job I absolutely love it and just play everyone up and make them all laugh. I feel so confident and great. They’ve said I make their shifts good and genuinely don’t realise how funny I am cus I’m just weird and goofy. I love it

MisterShogunate · 2020-11-12T17:29:39+00:00

I can give less shits if people think being funny is lame. I like hanging out with people and cracking clever jokes. It makes interaction with people so much more satisfying.

If you think being funny is regurgitating jokes then you don't know what being funny is. Being funny is essentially having an unpredictable response to people. It's also calling people out on their bullshit. Making an interesting observation. It's about towing that line between being offensive and not being offensive. It's extremely fun and it's never been about cracking shitty canned jokes.

So many times I go out and I see everyone too scared to even say anything or they take themselves too seriously. Having humor also helps you assert dominance over other people. If you dominate the conversation, you dominate the narrative, you dominate how people think. No one will oppose you because you always have a clever quip to answer back at them if they ever cross the line.

OP has no idea what being funny is about.

Otaku_With_No_Crust · 2020-11-13T16:45:50+00:00

Abd most importantly, wait for marriage

Rinthegreat · 2020-11-13T22:29:55+00:00

Bad advice

NobleJuggernaut · 2022-06-14T05:52:35+00:00

My take is dont TRY to be funny, but dont hold back humor and jokes if the the moment calls for it. Being funny is attractive because it shows intelligence, gives everyone a sense of relaxation, and is entertaining. But you can show intelligence, put yourself and others at ease, and be entertaining without it being comedy. At the same time, having no sense of humor is unnattractive because youll seem dull and that you take yourself too seriously. So dont rely on being funny or think its necessary, but at the same time dont be stiff. Tommy Shelby from Peaky Blinders is a really good example of someone who flirts and seduces without being funny. Also keep in mind, dry humor and sarcasm are funny but are both usually delivered in a low energy way. You dont have to be this performing high energy clown in order to be funny. A good example of that is Beau Bennett from the show The Ranch.

klippklar · 2020-11-12T00:07:33+00:00

The way I see it, there's two types of funny. The one that is trying to make people laugh and the one who does it because it brings him joy.

Title	Stop trying to be funny
Author	GreatWork123
Upvotes	738
Comments	118
Date	November 11, 2020 3:23 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/jsa0x3/stop_trying_to_be_funny/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/stop-trying-to-be-funny.1428306 https://theredarchive.com/post/1428306

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