Talking feminism on dates

OpinionThink481 · 2025-11-12T15:40:27+00:00

Rule number 1: Don't talk about politics on dates. You are there to seduce her and get laid, not to argue or lecture her. Your entire intellectual debate with a woman has no impact at all in the world or the future of the nation. It's a waste of time.

spacemangoes · 2025-11-12T10:08:28+00:00

Why? If feminism is something that comes up, say yea, I’m all for equality, just brush it off and continue with whatever you are doing. If she keeps insisting on it, 2 things. Either your seduction skills suck or she’s beyond redemption. Just call it quits. Pay the bill. No. Just pay your bill and as good night. Move on.

hunterpua · 2025-11-12T09:35:07+00:00

In my experience, the ones who have really gone deep into the rabbit hole of feminism and might have gotten radicalized are few and far between.

Most women are aware of feminism the same way you'd be aware of who and what's popular in music and movies. You know from hearing about it, but odds are you aren't extremely invested in it.

The radical ones are the ones who proactively bring it up a lot and almost insist on talking about it, even when you redirect.

That's easy to deal with, if I'm meeting someone like that in a cold approach, I just don't get their contact. If I find out someone's like that in a date, I just stop seeing her.

The rest? You can sort out as you get closer, especially after you start sleeping with each other, by simply asking them leading questions.

For example, I had lifelong Harry Potter fan tell me she doesn't like JK Rowling anymore because of her being "anti-trans" and I simply asked, "That's crazy. What did she actually say about it?"

She admitted she hadn't seen what JK herself said so I said, "Wouldn't it be interesting to see how messed up it actually is?"

And then we looked at the tweets and she ended up taking JK Rowling's side.

Doesn't matter that you called it messed up initially, all that matters is that you get her to do the thing that clears things up for her.

If you were more argumentative about it, you would trigger her Reactance (the tendency to do and think the opposite of what you're trying to tell them because they think you're trying to control them) so even if she looked at it, she'd probably be too closed minded to think about it correctly.

Don't try to impose a better understanding on someone, just lead them to get there themselves.

That's also great because if you can convince someone of something, that's pretty good but getting them to convince themselves of something will always be more powerful.

In terms of seduction, when I'm cold approaching and the convo is going great, I often say, "Weren't you on your way somewhere?" if they say it can wait or something then she's already convincing herself that she likes me and wants to keep talking to me.

When I'm escalating and things are feeling so damn good for the girl, I also like to say, "Do you want me to stop?" so that when she says no or even, "No, please keep going!" she's convincing herself that she wants things to escalate.

Avoid Reactance, stop trying to impose your will, and instead just lead people to convince themselves to agree with you and these things will be easier for you to navigate.

BurbNBougie · 2025-11-12T15:45:40+00:00

45 year old feminist who has studied and read tons of feminist authors globally and thru the years. Just saying that as a foundation.

If you don't believe that most women are impacted by a lack of equality, why is this even something you're concerned with? If you're just looking to stuff a hole and most of the women don't care, what is the issue.

I would like to know which rights or tenets of feminism you take exception to. Now, I do know that ppl tend to attribute anything a woman does that they don't like to feminism. But if you've read feminist literature, you know that that doesn't equate to feminism. So I'll re-ask, which tenets of feminism or rights that women have, do you wish you could roll back. And if you did roll these back, is it mostly to stuff more holes?

norwegiandoggo · 2025-11-12T09:15:02+00:00

If you're looking for a relationship - it's quite important to have somewhat similar values and political views. So why not talk about it? If you find out you're not aligned then amazing. You saved yourself from a relationship you don't want to be in.

If you're just looking for a hook-up- then avoid politics chat at all costs.

Ok-Training-7587 · 2025-11-12T22:16:47+00:00

I’ve been there. Dating in 2017 in Brooklyn was hard. It’s not hard to agree with equal treatment but if a woman seems like she has a chip on her shoulder it’s unattractive. Im not worried about reacting in a way that will make them still like me. Im polite and friendly but I don’t feel like I want to spend more time with an angry person so I just move on.

Phuffu · 2025-11-12T14:22:09+00:00

I don’t know any feminists who hate men. Maybe people on twitter say that but irl, haven’t found it to be the case.

Big_d0rk · 2025-11-12T19:02:36+00:00

I think feminism is great, and while we are on topic I inform them that I stand strongly for mens rights.

yfkh · 2025-11-13T07:45:16+00:00

I tell chicks early on im strongly against feminism. Most of them are like status quo feminist cuz i live in NYC but I give em some chivalry and good dick, and boom, they forget all about that feminism crap.

Im convinced the best way to treat a woman from feminism is to make her really feel like a woman on a deep primal level. That shit hits hard. No amount of propaganda and brainwashing can push back on that.

RandomBlokeFromMars · 2025-11-12T12:21:54+00:00

avoid politics on dates. it will never turn out good.

YSLMangoManiac · 2025-11-12T09:36:29+00:00

If u believe in feminism you shouldn’t really ever be in a situation where you want to “challenge their views” on feminism. If your issue is misandry then that’s a whole different thing but not the sort of thing that ever really comes up on a first date unless you’re instigating it

Lestat9436 · 2025-11-12T12:29:19+00:00

I think myself of a feminist myself and I'm convinced, that patriarchy is one of the secret riders of the apocalypse. Before you start screaming: hold your horses. 😃 Iam mostly in urban environments and most women I date are well educated, intellectual, strong and self aware. In contrast to the stereotype feminists respect masculinity very much, as long as it's positive, caring, strong and kind. I don't call myself "alpha" and men who do that are super cringe to me. But I am a trained martial artist, I do strength training , I have my own business, I am a musician, writer and an interesting person, at least I get that feedback very often. On dates I mostly listen, learn and try to be honest. I don't "game", I don't do cold approaches, I don't manipulate. I am just myself. I respect boundaries and if a women just wants to be friends, that's also OK for me. Friends are a good thing. And you know what? Women like this. Right now I have four very hot fqbs, last year it was six, including threesomes on a regular basis.

ProfitisAlethia · 2025-11-12T19:01:47+00:00

I definitely notice the trend you're describing and it's been disheartening lately. Apparently sexism is fine as long as it's men that you're blindly hating based on their gender.

I'm very picky when I'm dating for long term relationships and I don't date people who don't like my gender. It's becoming less common but there are plenty of women who aren't sexist and I save my time and energy for them.

abraham_ares · 2025-11-12T10:33:49+00:00

I wouldn't meet with such women. If you are a black guy, would you date with a white supremacist? Probably no, regardless of the trauma the women would have. Feminists hate men, that's a fact. There are more than enough sane women around.

JackSquirts · 2025-11-12T14:04:03+00:00

Basically never. Politics in general is rare on my early dates. At most we might brush against it when talking about a current event or something. Once we start dating a little more seriously, it's generally a little back and forth to establish team affiliation, then it's done. I have had a few with completely opposing views that'll play with me and we'll tease each other, but rarely does it go deep. I've found those end up being great FWB.

great_account · 2025-11-12T21:22:55+00:00

I think if you think feminists hate men, you're not engaging with people honestly. Maybe ask yourself why women feel strongly about this stuff in a way that seems sympathetic and once you've understood that viewpoints, then you are ready to engage honestly.

Rich_Chip7120 · 2025-11-12T22:27:44+00:00

Not really a good topic to talk about, and I love intellectual conversations, and I love talking about all kinds of things, like feminism. It can be something interesting to discuss with a woman whom you're not dating.

I think for flirting and dates, you should stick to more light-hearted and fun topics.

I say this as someone who has talked about it on multiple occasions with women I fancied and it did not go well.

TerminatorReborn · 2025-11-12T23:17:00+00:00

If a woman is bringing up feminism in a date it's because its important to her, don't lecture her on it or go in a debate if you want to fuck her, don't be dense dude.

If you want a serious relationship look for women that don't care about it or are right wingers or something.

eydriyans · 2025-11-12T23:35:42+00:00

I 100% feel you, bro. I'm all for equal rights and justice, but it's truly getting out of hand, for many of them, if not most. You're right, just brush it off if you only want to get laid. For serious relationships, you gotta be very careful with that.

My last ex was a feminist. Never again. If a girl's simply advocating for equality, I'm all in with that. Anything else is a nope. Many of them are so entitled and want domination instead of equality, including my ex. What's ridiculous is that they're feminist when it's convenient. Hates men and yet still seeks so much attention and showers with all the praise they're getting from us.

One time I opened up about how more men commit suicide, because of depression, societal expectations, lack of purpose etc, then it became a full-blown fight, not even an argument. My point was never heard, let alone acknowledged. Maybe this is a special case, but all our arguments are an uphill battle for me. It was traumatizing.

V4refugee · 2025-11-13T03:49:59+00:00

Mansplaining how they are not affected by inequality and that male privilege isn’t real. Then telling them how you are more informed than them about feminism and how most women don’t really know anything about feminism and just hate men because of past bad experiences. That is a pretty bold strategy. I hope it works out for you.

IGetBoredSometimes23 · 2025-11-13T03:50:15+00:00

It sounds like you're more educated on feminism than the misandrists you were dating. Most "feminists" don't bother to do any reading and just get all of their information from social media, which really does make people think that patriarchy=man does bad things instead of acknowledging it as a system that both harms and is perpetuated by both men and women.

You did the right thing by not going out with them again. There's no advice to really give here. If you're on a date with a woman that is convinced that all men are the devil incarnate, it's a waste of time to try to convince them otherwise.

weedman606 · 2025-11-12T11:46:10+00:00

Imma just say that no women wants a guy that considers himself „equal” to her

They know it subconsciously and that’s why even the hardest feminists are generally very willing to submit to a man, given they consider him strong or capable enough

That being said, one of my go to methods for escalating on dates is getting on such topics and simply roasting feminism, making fun of it, in a highly intellectual way of course. They will often get mad, but at the same time they will get horny lol

Most-Famous-Wasabi · 2025-11-12T10:13:04+00:00

I don't think the issue here is a difference of opinions.

The issue here is your conversational skill.

If discussing contentious issues ruins your connection, then you should reflect on your emotional reactivity.

poly_nerdy_panda · 2025-11-12T13:58:32+00:00

date someone from Eastern Europe, it's easy enough to find a class in Russian, for example... You have to understand that most women, especially feminists, are walking contradictions. Most, if not all the super feminist women I've ever met either have shitty cars, can't cook, clean, fat, or drama fueled but mostly FAT..

You can't have "women" empowerment but treat your body like shit imo

TripleDigitNomad · 2025-11-12T12:45:11+00:00

It sounds like you don't really believe in equality yourself or you take it personally when some women have issues with men because your own personal views are more conservative.

However, if your only goal is seduction, this topic really shouldn't matter. Ideally, you move away from the topic when it comes up as in general as it's not a very conducive topic for seduction anyway, but you need to do it in a way that's fun and tactful if you want to continue having a chance to get in her pants.

Let's say a girl starts talking about something that happened with a man or about men in general (like the man vs bear debate). Let her talk about it, agree with her generally so she feels heard, then when it's your turn to speak, say something like "yeah men suck, that's why I don't date them" in a fun and cheeky way.

This indirectly gives her the impression that you're a feminist ally (even if you're actually not), that you haven't taken what she said personally (even if you have), and that you're not afraid to laugh at yourself. Then, move on from the topic and talk about something else that's more fun like shared interests or traveling or something.

And if you do eventually want a relationship, simply don't get into one with a woman like this if you're not into it. Have fun, then move on.

Alarmed_Box1198 · 2025-11-12T17:41:51+00:00

I would simply say that men and women are quite different but that I believe all people should be treated fairly. And then promptly move on. That's it. Anything else attached to 'feminism' is just people twisting it around to fit an agenda or become radical for the sake of it.

HTML_Novice · 2025-11-13T00:21:11+00:00

You can usually tell these girls by their profiles, they have dead give aways. They’re just brainrotted terminally online women, just avoid them. I’ve been on dates and argued with them and poked holes in their silly world view, but it’s a waste of time. We’re not there to win debates we’re there to date.

Some women are simply too far gone into the TikTok brain rot, nothing can be done, find out they’re like that before you waste money on a date

cons_ssj · 2025-11-12T09:15:42+00:00

That's why we need to master the art of arguing and negotiation! I am happy to discuss if they can actually challenge my views. For all these simplistic cliche statements there are arguments all over the web that debunk them. However, I think that people restraint from such topics during the first date.

Title	Talking feminism on dates
Author	abraham_ares
Upvotes	13
Comments	67
Date	November 12, 2025 8:57 AM UTC (8 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ov08bc/talking_feminism_on_dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/talking-feminism-on-dates.1566349 https://theredarchive.com/post/1566349

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