If you won't date yourself, don't try date someone else. If you neglect yourself, your social life, your education/job, then chances are, you'll neglect the other person too. Most people can see that. The world doesn't revolve around you. I hate to be insensitive but some people truly are lost on this sub-reddit. If you are an asshole, or needy, or very mentally unwell, among others, don't be surprised when nobody is responsive to your advances. I get that for some (mental illness especially), we can't control how we are, even with treatment. This advice isn't for you. This is for people who are well aware of their issues and have pathways to fix them but don't take advantage of them. Don't just accept you have it and move on. Confidence is important but if you clearly are a negative person and your drawbacks make up a major part of who you are, then you're your own bottleneck. It's not because you're ugly, not because you're fat. It's because you're a negative person who expects the world to accomodate you while you refuse to change. If you're depressed, see a therapist. If you're an alcoholic, go to rehab. Same thing if you're an addict. If you dress horribly, dress better. If you have low self esteem, work on yourself!
I wrote this on another post as a comment but I'll also post it here for posterity:
This sub-reddit preaches about "game" and "technique", but if you're not dependable when things get tough, and confident in yourself and care about what YOU do, nobody is going to be interested. The difference between a so-called "beta" and "alpha" is the beta will whimper when faced with adversity and run to safety, and will go along with societal pressure. The weak link. An alpha is a leader, will take charge when things get tough, and is wholly confident in his ability and what he believes in. This means they are not easily swayed by social pressure, sometimes they're the catalyst for social pressure in the first place. Be more like the latter. A KEY characteristic of an 'alpha' is that OTHER PEOPLE are ALSO confident in his abilities. If you choose to be meek and constantly erupt into emotional anguish at every point where something doesn't go your way, you will be seen as a weak man.
If you direct yourself towards alcohol at the slightest excuse, you are a weak man. If you have an easily bruised ego and are envious of other's success, you are a weak man. If you feel the need to put someone else down to elevate yourself, you are a weak man. If you are prone to violence at slight grievances, you are a weak man. If you treat others with contempt and ridicule, because you cannot fathom being wrong - you are a weak man.
For the beta to become an alpha, it needs to overcome inner turmoil & negativity before it can even begin to think about external strength. You'll notice much of what I'm saying is not woman-centred. Getting laid is a symptom of being attractive, mentally & physically.
If you feel like you're not good enough, what do you do? Give up and sleep? Or keep trying until you are? What makes an 'artist' is imitation which breeds unique execution. When an artist is classically trained, they are being taught by people that already know what they're talking about. You always learn from someone else. What separates a great artist from failed artist is luck, perseverance and humility. Don't ever close yourself off from changing a part of yourself if you see it as negative. Imitate the confident men, find out what makes them tick with the ladies, and apply that to yourself.
tl;dr Get your shit together if you want women.
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