What do players do differently?

CoachSlyDating · 2025-03-01T21:33:13+00:00

It’s not the good looks. Yes that helps, but it’s the charisma. Players know how tickle the girls emotions. Players push girls buttons. One second the girl thinks the guy loves her. The next minute, the girl feels snubbed.

Prestigious_Water336 · 2025-03-01T21:41:14+00:00

Pretty much what you said.

Go out a lot, approach a lot. Know how to read and talk to women.

Escalate quickly.

It helps if you live in a bigger city too. It's a numbers game. The more women you can approach the better your odds are.

Frequent_Limit337 · 2025-03-01T22:50:38+00:00

Here's something most won't tell you: They value themselves more than women. This includes understanding ones importance, individuality, and intellectual capabilities. They also think of rejection as mathematical percentages, if they approach 10 woman there could be 1 woman that would accept. Their self-worth is also so high that rejection doesn't faze them, if anything when they get rejected they would think the woman is foolish, because she missed a great opportunity. They are also very confident, being shy as a man is usually a turn off for woman, they respect bold men who are authentic. Last thing is that they aren't boring, you have to have a "wow factor" about yourself to stand out with women to be a player.

Nanashi_x01 · 2025-03-01T21:32:52+00:00

This is what I have seen from my experience among people I know:-

Social circle:- Guys who are good at making social circle get lots of girls.
Good looking guys:- The top 10% guys.
Hardcore gamers:- I have a friend who has cold approached more than 10k+ women and has slept with a lot of women. He used to approach 100s of girls in a single day from morning till night.

achyut2897 · 2025-03-01T22:33:15+00:00

My friend uses Snapchat and Instagram only to post his photos with looks and doing gym or some cool stuff and he usually gets DM's from girls and then they setup a date. He says approach doesn't work everytime so he prefers this way.

rich_god · 2025-03-01T22:42:46+00:00

There are different strategies. Mine is all about context. I don’t approach much but I put myself in situations where approaches have a very high chance to be successful, to the point where you don’t really need to approach anymore. You just live your life and opportunities just present themselves consistently.

Take for example a party in a club. If you’re friend with the owner, or the barman, or the DJ, or if you’re yourself one of the DJs, if you have access to the backstage, free drinks and so on… then it’s just so easy because you have an edge over every other guy that is insignificant in the real world but in this club in this moment you have power.

Power is the most attractive thing in the world. And it works with any social environment.

Rhino3750ss · 2025-03-01T21:48:11+00:00

Players don't lift their emotions or feel "giddy" when talking to attractive women.

If the girl gets excited and raises her tone of voice or hastens her vocal cadence, the player keeps his tone and cadence the same.

If the girl gets flustered and makes fidgety movements, the player keeps his movements disciplined.

If the girl gets hyper and emotional, the player remains non chalant.

A player never mirrors the girls changes in behavior, he remains who he is, and women love a brick wall that can't be moved because they know their own emotions are subject to fluctuate and need a pillar of emotional strength to make them feel safe.

SPKEN · 2025-03-01T21:35:30+00:00

Yes they try constantly, fail, and move on to the next one

vladiVP · 2025-03-01T21:52:20+00:00

You are desperate bro. This is what stops you from getting laid

BearerOfLithium · 2025-03-02T00:09:13+00:00

There are a few unifying traits I’ve observed in guys who have slept with a lot of women.

First and obviously, they’re very social. They go out most nights, have lots of friends, and they’re basically in social settings where sex is a possibility every day. They might not have the highest hit-rate, but social lubrication gives them an in, and if you just talk to enough women, eventually the stars align. You’d be surprised at how many “average” or “below average” guys have slept with a lit of women simply by meeting a lot of them.

Secondly, they talk to women normally. As in, they can talk to any woman in much the same way as they can talk to a man without it immediately being about sex or a need for validation. There’s no cold approach or any of the bullshit jargon that everybody on here tends to use. There’s just “Hello”, “How you doing?”, “My name’s Dave”. It’s easy because it’s normal, it’s normal because it’s just every day for them.

Lastly, a lot of guys tend to have very low standards. I know a fairly average guy (5ft8, okay-looking, but skinny as fuck and not gorgeous by any means) who has had at least 50 women by doing the first two things, and basically being willing to screw any woman with a pulse who is open to him. His motto is that men who are picky don’t get laid, and maybe he’s got a point.

_SKUL_ · 2025-03-01T21:34:46+00:00

We dont give them as much time as you expect, they aren’t wives, conversate 3-4 times a day, ur good. Im very picky with the women I talk to so I usually dont go up to them in public cause my type is never in public. I use instagram/snapchat (rarely) and occasionally hinge/tinder if im finding nobody on instagram.

The only way a woman is ever gonna throw themselves at a guy is if you’re 6’5+ and built (with a nice face), you stand out. In my experience, only 2 have gone up to me, but I think there’s propaganda tahts starting to convince them its ok to come up to us. Maybe ur next

Yamochao · 2025-03-01T23:45:23+00:00

I usually go on ~1 date a week and it almost always ends in hooking up, but I wouldn't call myself a player.

I think "player" generally implies someone who is being deceptive in order to get women, "playing" games their emotions and giving them a false sense of extended interest in order to get in their pants.

For me:

I'm skinny and average looking BUT I have a unique aesthetic (cool, unique tattoos + interesting clothes/jewelry/haircut), I'm confident, I have an interesting job title, and I have professionally done photos on my dating profile.
I'm pretty upfront that I'm more looking for casual connections and fwb right now, so that filters out women who are categorically disinterested in that. Less matches, but also less wasted time on dates where we're fundamentally interested in different things.
I do actually look like my pictures - If you're overweight/bald and posting pictures from before you were overweight/bald, you're setting yourself up for rejection. A lot of women don't care, so post real pictures and filter out those ones.
I show up to the date well-groomed and smelling nice, and try to meditate, sleep, and exercise that day so that I'm bringing good vibes. Almost every time I've showed up really moody or tired to a date it hasn't gone well.
I'm genuinely interested in getting to know them, making them feel cared for, cultivating intimacy and connection
I don't lie or play games. I be myself because I know I'm fucking great. This is confidence.

The following is my understanding of what "players" do, and, tbh, you're kind of a piece of shit if you do this and it also usually won't work and will generally make you lose confidence, get imposter syndrome, and hate yourself:

Lean heavily into indicators of wealth and status, lies/exaggerates about it
Super focused on their muscles and appearance, appealing to what they think the 'average' woman wants instead of leaning into an aesthetic that feels unique and cultivating genuine confidence with their appearance.
Internally models themselves in an adversarial role with women where their goal is to try to trick women into having sex with them by making them believe that there's a love connection going, trying to artificially lower the woman's confidence; playing emotional games

Maybe you can trick women into sleeping with you if you do this and "play the numbers game" but they'll usually end up thinking of their experience with you with resentment and contempt. Is that what you want? Will that make you feel better about yourself? I often hear from women that I'm a breath of fresh air, and when I ask them to contrast with bad dates/men they reject they usually cite the following issues:

Behavioral: Crabby, insecure, aggressive/rapey, lying, dumb, boring, or playing games
"The Ick": Doesn't look like their pictures or oblivious to some kind of hygienic faux pas
Was nice, but didn't initiate anything, too deferential

GaryOak7 · 2025-03-01T23:58:41+00:00

We don’t care.

Simple_Fun9268 · 2025-03-02T00:09:17+00:00

It's a combination of charisma and just playing the numbers. I've slept with 182 women, but I've only slept with about 10% of the women from whom I've gotten phone numbers. Feel free to msg me.

Hutrookie69 · 2025-03-02T05:13:04+00:00

I’m good looking, impulsive, witty and don’t give a shit if a chick isn’t interested. It’s her loss

TheUltronSigma · 2025-03-01T21:29:40+00:00

I guess good looks and physic matters there

No-Buy7459 · 2025-03-01T23:13:43+00:00

Good looking average height autistic guy here. Probably slept with 100+ women. In my experience atleast for sleeping with as many women as possible its mostly about having a good face. Im autistic enough that I havent been out with my friends even a single time in the last 4 years. My only social life on the weekend is fucking. So people talking about "just be yourself bro" are lying. Just like you wont have sex with a girl who has a nice personality but isnt hot same holds for guys in most cases

MineDesperate2920 · 2025-03-01T22:39:25+00:00

I’ve been with over 100. Been seeing multiple girls at the same time. If you go out A lot eventually it happens.

Captain-Comment · 2025-03-01T23:06:24+00:00

Lie, cheat, future fake by pretending they want to be in a relationship and be married to the specific girl they’re dating. Love bomb. Take her on nice dates and make her feel special. Give her little gifts. Then ghost her. And breadcrumb her. Then call at obscure hours to come over so she can get a crumb of validation from him.

Mxteej · 2025-03-01T23:09:09+00:00

I get approached often, but even if I werent I would behave the same way. Key thing to understand is to act like you have other options. If a girl you like messages you, give it time, but dont seem like you are not interested, just seem that you are busy with other females. The more attention you give her the less interested will she be in u. Imagine it like this: Pretty girl gets complimented and simped for all the time so uou dont want to do that. Instead not complimenting her and even making some joke-ish remark like “you looking kinda busted today” with a lil smile on your face. That will surprise her, shatter her confidence because she is used to being praised for her looks. You will be the one that she is thinking about” why would that average looking dude say that?”. Of course if you are really ugly and say something like that nothing will probably happen. But if you are somewhat okay looking her ego will be hurt. The key to women is funnily enough to not be a simp, to be seen like a player from her point of view, to not give her attention and so on.

kitaeks47demons · 2025-03-02T06:28:03+00:00

be a charismatic asshole the former buys back a lot. also always be willing to walk away. there’s no one that curries more favor and looks more attractive than anybody who’s willing to walk if the terms are not agreeable.

TLDR: Anytime you interact with someone either by flirting or platonically and you get shit tested always opt for”That doesn’t work for me brother/sister”

epimpstyle · 2025-03-02T11:46:32+00:00

Do they just go out that much and talk to hundreds of women?

No, there is no need to talk to hundreds of women. There is no need to make a survey like: "Hey, you're cute, do you want some dick?" and then expect 99/100 rejections, IRL it is easier.

Or are they that good looking or charismatic

Some are good looking (James Tusk, Coach Kyle), some are not (Dave Lee, Deepak Wayne, James Marshall, Phill Heitlinger). All of them are charismatic, optimistic, if you look at them, they all have a story to tell, they are positive, they look friendly and approachable.

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-03-02T18:43:34+00:00

Quality over quantity. Don't get caught up in stupid manosphere bullshit. Most people are not good matches for another; you just have to talk with enough people to find common ground and compatibility.

Ok_Abalone_1715 · 2025-03-01T22:23:27+00:00

Not care.

MineDesperate2920 · 2025-03-13T05:49:23+00:00

Bit of both. I’ve been with over 100 girls so I’ve done ok. I go out a lot though. Have failed a lot so that’s 50% of it. The other 50% is the charisma etc

Title	What do players do differently?
Author	icxcnika1
Upvotes	46
Comments	85
Date	March 1, 2025 9:27 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1j1a8o0/what_do_players_do_differently/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-do-players-do-differently.1545340 https://theredarchive.com/post/1545340

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