I can’t stop thinking about getting my wife back. It leads me to despair and delusional thinking and seems to be making my grief longer. Maybe not. Anyway, it’s driving me nuts.

Sometimes, I leave her a gift of her favorite candy where she’ll find it. Sometimes, I text her sweet things or funny things. Sometimes I badger her or try to make the explicit case for getting back together.

She’s been very clear (for the last month) that she has no interest in getting back together ever. She’s dating again. It’s been four months since she dropped the bomb. Four months. She’s already way out. No attempt at therapy except for a brief and fruitless session of discernment therapy.

I know I need to get past this. I need to stop. Or I need to know how to make it happen. I suspect they’re the same thing.

But how the fuck do I do it? I keep obsessing. It’s all I think about lately.

Help.