Getting Bought Out

DivorceCharacter512 · 2024-05-26T15:01:59+00:00

Add a 5 to 10 percent kicker into your cut of the homes current market value for "relocation expenses and the establishment of a child friendly environment." Use it to buy them princess beds and cool toys for the backyard and common area.

And don't move out till you have a new place that's fit to host.

thro281 · 2024-05-26T13:59:45+00:00

I bought out my ex and there is value to keeping the house. However, the kids will just look at you home as daddy’s home and the same for the mom. They are incredibly flexible at this age and will adjust accordingly. They will get used to two homes. My advice to you is do an outstanding job making the home a home which may involve you hiring an interior designer or a few good female friends.

dudefromyork · 2024-05-26T12:38:36+00:00

I did exactly what you are doing, although my kids are somewhat older (10&13 at the time I moved out).

Firstly for you. You’re going to get a fresh start in your own place. I’m from the UK but the phrase “An Englishman’s home is his castle” never rang truer. I had a fresh canvas. And the quiet, stressless environment I needed to get my head right. The day I walked in to my new house I lay on the living room floor looking at the ceiling for about an hour and let the peace wash over me. I was out. It was all over. I could start the rest of my life.

And you can decorate. And buy furniture. And put whatever you want on the walls. And have whoever you want over for a beer.

And then there’s the kids. Getting the message right when you tell them that you’re splitting up is very difficult - especially if you’re ex is high conflict- but if you get it right it will potentially be a good thing. A new home with new bedrooms to decorate is fun. Including them in choosing things for the house and their rooms will be good for them. They feel like the place is “theirs” much more. It will take time though. But keep working at it and try not to make too much of a big deal about it.

Overall, kids are basically resilient if supported right. It’s so much better for them to be with two happy independent parents, than to be in a home with an awful atmosphere and constant stress. It’s also teaching them long term that they shouldn’t stay in a bad relationship and be unhappy - they can always start over. Be that great example!

People do this every day and it works out fine in the end, although it feels like shit right now. You got this! 🤷‍♂️😁

Visual_Cycle_1066 · 2024-05-26T04:41:48+00:00

My kids were 9 and 6 when 'we' moved out - me 100% of the time out, them 50% out. We went to go look at houses together - made them part of the process. We moved into a neighborhood 1 mile away from the marital home where they already had some friends. They picked out their new bedroom furniture.

Make the new place all of yours my friend.

captainchippsixx · 2024-05-26T02:22:10+00:00

You need to be indifferent and close off to her. Unless it’s kid related. You’re not friends anymore. Get the money and let her fuck up her loan on her own. Just get the money. Not your problem anymore.

I would tell your kids that their mom did not want to be with dad anymore. Maybe take them to a counselor to help the transition.

upvotersfortruth · 2024-05-26T00:33:14+00:00

You can make your new place their home, and yours. Sentimental value of homes is really strong but having a peaceful, welcoming place for you and them is more valuable than memories.

shcma · 2024-05-25T23:25:53+00:00

I got two girls the exact same age. I would be thrilled if sbxw would buy me out. I want flexibility in my next stage. Something like a nice apartment with a pool for the kids. I want to be able to enjoy my time with the kids instead of taking care of home projects for a year or two at least while I get resettled into my new routine.

I think a lot will change for my kids (as with yours) I do my best to not get hung up on the “who moves out” thing. It’s best to just focus on being the best dad no matter where you end up. They will realize that as they grow.

bluephotoshop · 2024-05-25T22:56:00+00:00

Why not you keep the house? The kids still have continuity with 50-50. So many women assume ownership post-divorce and end up house poor.

EnvironmentalAd3558 · 2024-05-25T22:04:04+00:00

You need to move on like she already has. You just need to set your goals for what is best for you and your children.

Usually the family home needs to be sold and the equity divided. If she is keeping the home then you need to be paid for your half of the equity and you need to be taken off the mortgage. Doing that many times makes the new mortgage payments too high for doing this.

Cheap_House8696 · 2024-05-25T22:01:52+00:00

I wouldn't let her keep house before custody is determined it can be used against you in custody battle

Title	Getting Bought Out
Author	Letsgetsoakinwet
Upvotes	20
Comments	38
Date	May 25, 2024 9:53 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1d0mja8/getting_bought_out/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/getting-bought-out.1519527 https://theredarchive.com/post/1519527

Comments