It has begun.

Commercial-Rub-3223 · 2024-08-22T18:22:06+00:00

Damn your not even gonna consider marriage counseling at least try to fight for this before you decide

MR-Ozmidnight · 2024-08-22T03:18:12+00:00

Remember to keep in mind the following information:

If you are going through a challenging situation like this, it's advisable not to leave your residence if your name is on the property. Doing so could affect your visitation rights with your children. It's essential to stay in the house if your name is listed on the property. I recommend familiarising yourself with "Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life," available online. Also, look into "Doing the 180" and "Grey Rocking" to gain insight into managing your divorce more effectively. Hire a reputable attorney and follow their guidance closely, regardless of personal preferences.

These are just a few important points, but the most crucial is to consult a lawyer. Initially, things may seem okay, but if your partner hires a demanding lawyer, they might try to claim everything, especially if she's a stay-at-home mom or has a low income. It's surprising how a couple can start by communicating and agreeing on things and then become hostile toward each other. Therefore, it's essential to consult a lawyer to understand your position. You could lose the house, 401(k), pension, investments, etc., which is why having a good lawyer is essential.

I wish you good luck in getting through this. I know it might not seem like it, especially when things reach the court stage, but avoid doing anything wrong or stupid, as that could work against you. If your partner becomes difficult, be prepared to document interactions or have someone present with you.

Neither-Doubt3920 · 2024-08-21T01:54:03+00:00

Am I the only female that did the opposite of what all of you guys went through?!? Damn, bitches be cray..... I wanted literally NOTHING from him. Take whatever you want from the house, I'll be thankful for whatever you leave me. Keep your 401k, I'll keep mine. Your money is yours, mine is mine. 50% custody & I waived child support. Just be a good dad, is all I want. In less than 4 months and for only $377 bucks, boom. Divorced. 😎 People are so fucking greedy. Good luck dude. I hope you don't go through what all these other poor dudes did. Yikes.

Additional-Run1610 · 2024-08-21T00:12:37+00:00

Copy everything in the file cabinet.Do it tonight!! Then scorched earth the whole mess trust me.

notyourmama827 · 2024-08-20T16:14:52+00:00

Make sure that you find a good lawyer. One that is for YOU. A good lawyer is worth more than you'll ever know.....

AirSailer · 2024-08-20T15:24:52+00:00

https://psychcentral.com/health/grey-rock-method#:~:text=The%20grey%20rock%20method%20is,interest%20and%20stop%20bothering%20you.

This will save you from yourself and from her. Follow it to the letter. Re-read this article once a week if necessary.

File the paperwork first, don't wait for her.

Create a new Google Email account, use a random password she cannot guess. Get rid of paper anything, transform your life to digital only if you haven't already. No more paper statements of any kind.

Change passwords on all accounts, change the email addresses (to your new email) on accounts that you want control of. If you don't change the email address on an account, especially if it's an email she has access to, she can request a password reset and lock you out. Don't fuck around with this.

Remove her as an authorized user on all credit cards in your name. Remove yourself as an authorized user on any cards in her name. Put a lock on any joint cards, put a passcode on the card so she can't call customer service and get it unlocked. My ex charged $15k lawyer retainer on a CC in my name the day before I filed, and the judge made me pay it because my name was on the card and it occurred prior to filing the petition... Don't underestimate your opponent.

Quietly move any irreplaceable items that are yours to a different location. If she doesn't have access to an item she can't grab it and use it as leverage. This especially applies to photos, videos, etc... if you don't get them you can't depend on her to give you a copy, ever.

Get digital copies of all past tax returns, bank account statements, legal documents , etc, as far back as possible.

Classic_Dill · 2024-08-20T14:34:59+00:00

Welcome to your freedom, couple things you need to start doing, go to the gym and start working out. If you need to lose a few pounds, go to Men’s Wearhouse go to the clearance section and load up on a new wardrobe. You can literally get $65 shirts for 15 bucks. Try to communicate as little as possible during the divorce, you need to heal you need to get through the acceptance phase, and having her in your life after the divorce is going to hamper your healing, if you guys decided to be buddies after? You’re gonna have to need to tell her that it may take a couple years for you to be able to do anything like that, you need to completely cut all emotional ties with her or you will not heal.hang out with more friends, take the things that you love to do your hobbies maybe? And do them a lot more!

captainchippsixx · 2024-08-20T14:30:39+00:00

You need to at least consult lawyer man. You need to know what goes down in your particular state. You have a daughter? So child support is going to be required. Does you soon to be ex work? If she makes less than you support might be required - depends how long your married.

Own a house? Did you buy before marriage

Here is what she is going to do (unless she makes more money) - she is going to want more than 50% of everything and she is going to either try to persuade you or threaten you to give to her.

-If you own a house she may want it free and clear. - She is going to want the household stuff as well and a her car.
- she will want you to own the debt.

So you can be cool, but negotiate everything. Even like hey maybe we should sell the wedding rings to help pay for the divorce.

This is not a fuck around and find out situation. And make decisions on the fly. This is business deal that is going to affect you for 20+ years.

1- consult 2 - Protect your self and assets (Cameras and change passwords etc) Know where every penny is and owed. 3- move slowly prized possessions some where else 4- gym gym gym. Eat healthy Huge mental Boost from this. 5 - poker face - don’t tell Her what you want. Say you will think about it.

Don’t be a nice guy anymore. No begging. No simping. No asking her to reconsider.
She doesn’t love you or respect you. So say fuck it. Be a good dad and kick aZz.

Exactly65536 · 2024-08-20T09:16:43+00:00

After the divorce becomes a certainty, not a possibility, bad things happen from psychological standpoint.

There is no common future anymore, and thus no reason behave, no reason to care and no reason to tread lightly. Plus the situation forces both of you to play a zero-sum game.

Anger, frustration, spite, blaming - everything comes out. No reason to care not to hurt the other party. No reason to not blame them. No reason not to unleash your anger on them.

So, be prepared to being on the receiving end - and try not to lose yourself to much and do things you'll regret. Don't let you anger or self-preservation to strip you of your dignity of self-respect; stay polite if possible (for you, not for her), but be prepared that she will not. Play fair, but be prepared that she will not - and then of course you are free to reciprocate. And so on, and so forth.

ImportantRecipe3087 · 2024-08-20T06:48:29+00:00

Do not believe things will stay mutual. Her aim will be to get as much from you as she can. Your aim should be to give her as little as possible.

NotUsedUsernameYet · 2024-08-20T06:32:02+00:00

Does she work? Age of the child?

You need to ensure she works and document how you are involved father who handles at least 50% of parenting responsibilities.

Reflog1791 · 2024-08-20T05:35:09+00:00

Double down on good healthy things to weather the storm. Take care of yourself man.

frogmicky · 2024-08-20T04:51:02+00:00

Lawyer get a lawyer now sooner than later, Glad you got a therapist good move. Prepare for the craziness of your stbxw I swear they all go bonkers.

Slowloris81 · 2024-08-20T04:43:07+00:00

Sorry man. This group is here for you. Retain a lawyer if you haven’t yet who can provide practical advice on what to do/not to do while the divorce is pending or in anticipation. Do not make any admissions to your wife that could compromise your position. Make sure to stay involved with your kid in case custody were to become an issue. Maintain the status quo with the finances and don’t so anything like try to transfer or hide assets which doesn’t work and will make you look bad.

Think of things you’ll need to consider and tell your lawyer that will affect finances- How long is the marriage? What is the difference in earnings? What is your premarital property vs marital? What do you want to do with the house? How was it financed?

Chris_Chilled · 2024-08-20T04:27:50+00:00

Document. Are there kids involved? That’s makes it very not mutual very quick.

Title	It has begun.
Author	-time-to-time-
Upvotes	15
Comments	48
Date	August 20, 2024 4:17 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ewmi6d/it_has_begun/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/it-has-begun.1527778 https://theredarchive.com/post/1527778

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