TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

  • Subreddits

      Popular

    • /r/askTRP
    • /r/TheRedPill
    • /r/MarriedRedPill
    • /r/MensRights
    • /r/MGTOW
    • /r/PurplePillDebate
    • /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
    • Other

      • /r/AllPillDebate
      • /r/AlreadyRed
      • /r/altTRP
      • /r/AntiFeminists
      • /r/askFDS
      • /r/askMRP
      • /r/askRPC
      • /r/becomeaman
      • /r/BlackPillScience
      • /r/Chadfish
      • /r/Divorce_Men
      • /r/EverydayMisandry
      • /r/ExRedPill
      • /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
      • /r/FeminismStopsWhen
      • /r/GEOTRP
      • /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
      • /r/MalePsychology
      • /r/Male_Studies
      • /r/MenSupportMen
      • /r/MGTOW2
      • /r/MuslimRedPill
      • /r/newTRP
      • /r/PussyPass
      • /r/PussyPassDenied
      • /r/RedPillBooks
      • /r/RedPillParenting
      • /r/RedPillWives
      • /r/RedPillWomen
      • /r/RedPillWorkplace
      • /r/RPChristians
      • /r/seduction
      • /r/ThankTRP
      • /r/TheRedPillStories
      • /r/trpGAME
      • /r/TRPOffTopic
      • /r/TrueBlackPillMGTOW
      • /r/WhereAllTheGoodMenAre
  • Blogs

      Popular

    • Dalrock
    • Heartiste
    • Illimitable Men
    • Return of Kings
    • Rian Stone
    • The Rational Male
    • Woujo
    • Other

      • Artful Prudence
      • A Voice for Men
      • Alpha Game
      • Black Label Logic
      • Caleb Jones
      • Captain Capitalism
      • Corporate Machiavelli
      • Days of Game
      • Deep Strength
      • Dicipres
      • Donal Graeme
      • Female Misogynist
      • Free Northerner
      • Gaming My Wife
      • Good Looking Loser
      • Hawaiian Libertarian
      • In Mala Fide
      • KillToParty
      • Kill Your Inner Loser
      • Krauser PUA
      • LaidNYC
      • Married Man Sex Life
      • NO MA'AM
      • Omega Virgin Revolt
      • Pook's Mill
      • Random Xpat Rantings
      • Red Pill Theory
      • Red Pill Wifery
      • RedPillDad
      • RedPillDoctor
      • Seasons of Tumult and Discord
      • Sigma Frame
      • The Feminine Woman
      • The Futurist
      • The Masculine Principle
      • The Modern Man
      • The New Modern Man
      • The Obsidian Files
      • The Power Moves
      • The Private Man
      • The Red Pill Room
      • The Red Quest
      • The Rules Revisited
      • The Spearhead
      • Troy Francis
      • Wintery Knight
      • Young Man Red Pill
  • Books
  • Dictionary
  • @TRParchive
  • Please help TheRedArchive stay alive

/r/AskReddit thread about make rape victims sharing their experiences. Very disheartening to see the number of victims who were told "men can't be raped."

iiooiooi

April 21, 2017
2297 upvotes
/r/MensRights
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/66hcf8/serious_men_who_have_been_raped_by_women_whats/
Download the post

Want to save the post for offline use on your device? Choose one of the download options below:

PDF TXT EPUB
Share
Share Tweet Reddit Email
Post Information
Title /r/AskReddit thread about make rape victims sharing their experiences. Very disheartening to see the number of victims who were told "men can't be raped."
Author

iiooiooi

Upvotes 2297
Comments 131
Date April 21, 2017 11:40 AM UTC
(9 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/66one8/raskreddit_thread_about_make_rape_victims_sharing/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/raskreddit-thread-about-make-rape-victims-sharing.924932
https://theredarchive.com/post/924932
Top posts by iiooiooi

The Boy Scouts are dropping the word 'boy' from the name of their flagship program

97 upvotes
May 2, 2018
/r/MensRights

Breaking News - Michelle Carter found guilty of manslaughter in coerced suicide of Conrad Roy.

93 upvotes
June 16, 2017
/r/MensRights

Just needed to vent about the ex-wife

78 upvotes
June 13, 2018
/r/MensRights

Hulu has The Red Pill categorized as a comedy...

75 upvotes
May 8, 2017
/r/MensRights

Dad's justified rant about lack of changing tables in men's rooms goes viral.

68 upvotes
June 3, 2018
/r/MensRights

Planet Fitness this morning

26 upvotes
February 1, 2017
/r/MensRights

Woman Charged With Sexual Battery On A 11-Year-Old Child

13 upvotes
June 29, 2017
/r/MensRights

Merriam-Webster Word of the Year 2017 - Feminism

11 upvotes
December 12, 2017
/r/MensRights

Comments

[–][deleted] 263 points264 points265 points 9 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link

To be fair the large general answers to the victims on that comment section were sympathetic, I'm glad to see that, in my country rape is not even defined by law as something a man can be victim of or a woman can commit.

[–]50PercentLies 106 points107 points108 points 9 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

Frankly, I think there are only two solutions, both semantic:

  • Do away with the term rape and simply use "sexual assault" all the time. In law, just have forced to penetrate and forced penetration as equally bad, because they are.

  • Redefine rape in the legal sense to mean unwanted penetration, because this includes both things.

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points31 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

I think to apply any of those you'll first have to change the mentalities.

[–]thehunter699 15 points16 points17 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Change the stigma regarding men and rape. Mass media doesn't cover men being raped. Women being raped makes the news, someone rapes a man it rarely even gets any coverage. Atrocious. The fact that doctors and counselors don't recognize male rape is the biggest problem.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah and how do you do that :/

Media in all countries (although looks like the US are even worse) are a shithole of sensationalism and bias, and the rare time I saw male rape victims mentioned in local newspapers, first it wasn't called rape, but most importantly people were joking on it.

This world is fucked and I think it's pretty naive to imagine we can change that, at least in our lifetime.

Although we can probably unfuck it, part of it.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

We wouldn't have to do this if people didn't jump the mob mentality.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah if

[–]adelie42 5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

It is my understanding that this is the case in Canada.

[–]Strider3141 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

This may be true, but if a woman rapes a man, even in Canada, it can be hard to prove

[–]franklindeer 4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm not on board with this. The problem with changing the term to "sexual assault" which is what we have in Canada and many countries in Europe is that as a term it draws no distinction between groping and violent rape. Obviously both are wrong, but this is regularly used as a tool in the media and by activists to misrepresent the issue or a specific crime that has grabbed the public interest. Very frequently the degree (first, second, third) is omitted from media stories and it's almost always omitted from activist rhetoric. This was intentional and the term was created and lobbied for by activists.

This may seem like a trivial concern, but I don't think it is. "Sexual assault" without any other context is so frequently used to misrepresent events and stats and colour the whole issue of rape and sexual assault that I think there needs to be a distinction between rape and serious sexual assaults and lesser crimes like unwanted contact.

[–]50PercentLies 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

That is the media's problem, and of course if this was written into law it would have to be more specific. I wasn't writing as though this was a policy ready for consideration.

[–]WillMeatLover 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Or just understand the word as it exists in reality, which is "forced sex". You don't have to over-complicate it to get there.

[–]50PercentLies 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

The word sex is already complicated. Some people don't consider oral sex to be sex, at least not in the same context as intercourse.

[–]WillMeatLover 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I suppose that's fair enough. People are always really creative about how stupid they are.

It just always seemed very clear to me that rape is about forcing people into sex against their will and not about "gendered acts". I.e. person A rapes person B against their will and not person A rapes person B using penis.

[–]50PercentLies 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

People are always really creative about how stupid they are.

This is unfortunately extremely true

[–]guntermench43 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The first one is how it is in Canada iirc.

[–]thestruggled 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

And then, in another sub I reply to a comment saying men are always to blame while women aren't. All I say is people who support mens rights aren't incels, and people call me a moron. If only people could be educated with logic

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yup, to me the hardest part about talking men's rights is that you'll always have someone who just assumes you're some woman hater and will just ignore anything you could say, even if you weren't talking men's rights.

[–]EricAllonde 370 points371 points372 points 9 years ago (36 children) | Copy Link

This post is making me think that maybe universities should have mandatory consent classes - for women.

There are far too many stories in that thread of female rapists getting the pussypass.

Clearly they, and everyone else, need to be taught that it's still rape when women do it, that witnesses should report/intervene when they see a woman doing it and more of these women need to be sent to jail.

[–]samsc2 51 points52 points53 points 9 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link

Not only is it something that's reinforced in colleges i/e that men can't be raped, and men are all rapists. It's also in pretty much every single definition of the word itself! Seriously go around and try to find one place where the definition doesn't go similar to

: unlawful sexual activity and usually sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or under threat of injury against the will usually of a female or with a person who is beneath a certain age or incapable of valid consent because of mental illness, mental deficiency, intoxication, unconciousness, or deception

Not only do we need to teach women better starting in lower educational institutions but that kind of sexist bullshit needs to be removed from the definition of the words. It's absolutely continuing on that concept that men can never be victims and allowing rape to be used as a offensive technique to get a woman w/e she wants from w/e guy.

[+]jack-of-all_spades -16 points-15 points-14 points 9 years ago* (20 children) | Copy Link

It says "usually of a female", which is true. I 100% agree that females can rape and should be educated on male consent, but I don't see how this wording is sexist? Edit: okay, I meant to say "usually of a female" as it was true to the best of my knowledge. I was linked to some good resources and I now understand that both genders are equally hurt by rape.

[–]samsc2 25 points26 points27 points 9 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link

It says that rape is usually of a female. The only reason to put that there is to put the idea that females are the ones who get raped usually. Meaning more than males. Which is untrue. It's completely sexist and paints men to be rapists which is exactly why this subreddit and many others even exist. We go through each day being accused of shit, being judged, hell just look at what happens when a single father takes his kids to the playground.

[–]BigOldNerd 22 points23 points24 points 9 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

hell just look at what happens when a single father takes his kids to the playground.

The middle aged women spring out like ninjas saying, "EXCUSE ME, ARE YOU HERE WITH SOMEONE?"

My father gets accosted because he does stuff like organizes a game of tag with a group of kids that includes his grandkids and *gasp* other kids.

[–]samsc2 18 points19 points20 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

I used to think that wasn't even a thing, that no one could be that mean or evil to a random person until it happened to me as well. Hell they don't even have to say anything to you, they just sneer at you and whisper under their breath to the other moms all while giving you random glances and hate filled eyes.

I was with a buddy of mine at a military camp ground(for military, ex military) where we went camping with his little dude and dude's friends. 3 little dudes and two adults. My buddy also brought with us his sailboat, just a small one enough to fit all of us on it. My job mostly was to not get hit by the sail bar and to make sure the kids don't either as well as to make sure to pick them up out of the water if they ever fall off. Think of it like a hammock with two pontoons and then a sail in the middle.

Well he had to load the sailboat back into the boat but the kids wanted to still play what with them being kids an all, and me not know how to tie up a sailboat I went with them to the playground. I walked in with them and immediately IMMEDIATELY the mom's in there just shot out death daggers with their eyes. I tried to talk to some of them and all they did was pull their purse closer and respond with a single word and so I sat away from them. Those whispers, and eyes just didn't stop though and I just didn't feel comfortable at all being around those so I yelled for my buddies main little dude that i'll be in the truck so I could be away from those women.(it was literally right outside of the gate of the playground and I was still watching them with the window down. I even got to tell them to get down from the giant slide because they climbed up the outside of it(it was enclosed). That's the shit men gotta go through every day now around kids. Wtf happened?

[–]BigOldNerd 14 points15 points16 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I'm sorry you had to go through that. Stay strong.

You are making those kids' lives better by being around to go sailing with them. Kids absolutely need good male role models that do kick-ass things with them. The bored 'on their phone' mom that scares off positive interaction will just harm those kids.

My father just doubles down when the moms come out and keeps organizing other games with the kids. He is stubborn as hell. I think the kids are mostly oblivious to the adult interactions that are happening.

[–]samsc2 6 points7 points8 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Sadly i'm not a dad. Love kids though, as long as I don't have to clean up after them....haha. Was a fun weekend, taught them a bunch of stuff and also messed with them a lot by giving them their wrong names. They get so angry when you call them something else but it's hilarious. It's not a real anger either they know it's just teasing and having fun. Their dad's just like me though and it's funny how we ever met too. I would basically hangout at the local computer store because i'm disabled and have no life and would frequently get scrap from the store to do projects with. Well he comes in one day and then bam we start talking about the different projects were doing at home and that was that. We've built a tesla coil, arc welder, chemistry station, forge(s), incinerator, forced air propane torches, electrolysis machines, HHO generators, changed an electric scooter to a gas powered one and then had to redo it because we put the motor on backwards. So much stuff.

[–]BigOldNerd 4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

as long as I don't have to clean up after them

Pro-TIP - Make the kids clean up. You can do it half out of laziness and half by saying you are teaching them good habits.

i'm not a dad

Don't have to be a dad to show kids a positive male role model. Keep doing what you are doing.

[–]Denikke 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Even with a female 'escort', this happens. Hubby and I have 3 kids. When I was heavily pregnant and/or with a newborn, he would be the one playing with the kids while I sat off to the side. I've had other women come up to me and ask if I was okay with 'that man' around my kids (in some cases, even when seeing us arrive together). Now...Hubby is a teddy bear. He's 6'5" but about as non threatening looking as they come. Has a baby face even with a beard XD

I tend to just give them a weird look and tell them that he helped make em, so yea, I guess I am okay with him playing with them.

It's stupid. It's worse than stupid...It's sick XP

[–]10J18R1A 10 points11 points12 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

There was a thread on Facebook about a man who had essentially been accosted because he was taking his daughter out and they were getting a room for an overnight amusement trip park.

Awesome, right?

The hotel staff interrogated him and attempted to stall him while authorities were called, just in case.

The women responses were unbelievable. It's the continuation of the idea of men as predators to the point that single fathers of daughters are born suspects.

Our patriarchy is really inept.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

That's what happens after 50 years of feminist propaganda painting all men to be potentional rapists/murders/abusers and women=victims .

[–]jack-of-all_spades -5 points-4 points-3 points 9 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

Why on earth am I getting downvoted for asking for further clarification? I think it is true that women get raped more than men (though rape for men is extremely underreported and sometimes not even realized), but no one ever said that all women were raped by men so I don't understand how this is meant to paint all men as rapists. Also for the single parent at a playground thing, I totally agree that that's bullshit. Fathers should be able to be alone with their child and not seem "questionable".

[–]samsc2 11 points12 points13 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

The probably reason is because you said that women get raped more than men, or you think women get raped more than men. The statement that women get raped more than men is entirely false and has been perpetually stated by feminists to continue their agenda and hate of men. In fact the only reason it ever held any merit is because prior to 2012 MEN COULDN'T BE CONSIDERED RAPE VICTIMS BY WOMEN PERPETRATORS. It's just a regurgitated statistic that has been found false countless times, among the numerous others like the 77 cents to the dollar bullshit. The entire thought that you actually think that women get raped more than men is a major problem because you aren't the only person who thinks that which makes the lives of every day men worse and harder. It's why we don't get any funding for being homeless(why fund homeless rapists?), it's why men are arrested even when they are the victim of domestic violence(obviously the man was the attacker as he has a knife sticking out of his neck), and it's why men lose time after time in divorce court.

You're probably being downvoted because people don't like it when people share false statistics or opinions that have been shown to be false. It's not saying you're a bad person, it's just saying that people are sick of being labeled rapists for just existing.

[–]glitchn 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It's this type of thinking (that men are the main rapist, women primarily victims) that might even result in the opposite being true since it causes women to believe "men can't be raped, they always want it" and could result in the actual numbers of males being sexually assaulted to be higher than those of women (while also being the cause of the severe under reporting).

[+]racheleirich points 9 years ago* [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link

There are no stats to prove either being raped more than the other when considering the fact that male victims often don't report. However, there is plenty of stats out there showing that men are far more often the perpetrators of child sexual abuse.

[–]samsc2 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

You misspelled that word.

However, there is plenty of stats out there showing that men are far more often the victims of child sexual abuse with the perpetrators being more often then not women.

and missed some important information so I was able to edit it for you. I totally agree with you too it's just so sad that men are usually the primary victim of not only false accusations but of the crimes themselves since most psycho people don't even consider what women do to them as being child abuse. Hence the facts that in 99% of cases in which a woman rapes a man or child it's never ever reported as rape but instead a "relationship".

[+]samsc2 points 9 years ago [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link

The probably reason is because you said that women get raped more than men, or you think women get raped more than men. The statement that women get raped more than men is entirely false and has been perpetually stated by feminists to continue their agenda and hate of men. In fact the only reason it ever held any merit is because prior to 2012 MEN COULDN'T BE CONSIDERED RAPE VICTIMS BY WOMEN PERPETRATORS. It's just a regurgitated statistic that has been found false countless times, among the numerous others like the 77 cents to the dollar bullshit. The entire thought that you actually think that women get raped more than men is a major problem because you aren't the only person who thinks that which makes the lives of every day men worse and harder. It's why we don't get any funding for being homeless(why fund homeless rapists?), it's why men are arrested even when they are the victim of domestic violence(obviously the man was the attacker as he has a knife sticking out of his neck), and it's why men lose time after time in divorce court.

You're probably being downvoted because people don't like it when people share false statistics or opinions that have been shown to be false. It's not saying you're a bad person, it's just saying that people are sick of being labeled rapists for just existing.

[–]jack-of-all_spades -1 points0 points1 point 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

I was quoting the definition, which I agreed with to the best of my knowledge. I wasn't intending to spread false statistics or "push the feminist agenda", I just hadn't heard anything that would disagree with that statement. Instead of downvoting me, I would appreciate it if you guys could give me reasons as to why you disagree with me so I could better educate myself and possibly change my own opinion. What is the 2012 thing about, I've never heard of that? My parents divorced and I got put with my mother (who was not the fittest parent) because everyone doesn't want to separate a mother and her child. I think that's ridiculous, it's absolutely infuriating that fathers aren't considered as equal parents. And, again, I didn't call men rapists because I never said that the women were raped by men, you shouldn't assume that when I talk about rape I'm talking about male offenders.

[–]samsc2 4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I know and we were pointing out how the definition itself is sexist by trying to say that women get raped more than men. It's something that should be changed but doesn't get changed because people want to continue to spout it as if it's a fact. You could easily look at the statistics which shows that men and women get raped at the same rate. As for the definition thing, sadly you wouldn't have heard about it because of the power of feminism to censor people. It's a real thing that happened and it's a shame that it took until 2012 to be addressed.

The reason why you think that women ever got raped at higher rates than men is because of the previous definition of rape itself. It made it impossible for women to rape men. They could not be charged for rape against a man because the definition of rape doesn't allow for it to exist.

That's the route of the problem that men have had for the past many decades. Showing how "dangerous" it was to be a woman while knowing full well it isn't and wasn't. Those statistics were falsified by the fact that women couldn't be considered rapists. It's just statistical manipulation and it's the number 1 tactic of feminists.

[–]jack-of-all_spades 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Ah, I can understand how the definition would be improved by not saying one sex is raped more than the other. Again, I wasn't saying anything as fact, I said that was what I believed to the best of my knowledge. If the CDC study is accurate, then I retract my statement and I can understand how the definition is offensive. I absolutely did not believe that women were more likely to be raped than men because of ignorance of the possibility of rape against men. I have male friends who have been raped, that's ridiculous. And, based off of my interpretation of the 2012 update, this definition still doesn't seem to protect everyone. I know women who were raped by other females and are still not taken seriously because there was no penetration. I definitely know that women can be offenders. Why are you turning this into a "fuck the feminists" thing? The article on the CDC study seemed to depend more on the wording of the questions than the definition of rape or feminist censorship. They said "how many times did this happen" instead of "did this happen to you" so people didn't have to consciously admit that something had happened to them. Also the article even says that waging a "war against women" isn't productive towards solving sexual violence. Thank you for adding sources, I appreciate a well-founded argument.

[–]OnTheSlope -1 points0 points1 point 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The reason why you think that women ever got raped at higher rates than men is because of the previous definition of rape itself.

I'm not sure that is the reason, it easily could be, and certainly is for many people, but I don't think most people holding that opinion have ever looked at a relevant statistic. I think most people just recognize that women seem to spend much, much more time worrying about rape. From that they conclude it must happen more often, which is pretty short sighted but thoughts require a lot of energy and time so short cuts are necessary.

[–]This_is_my_phone_tho 38 points39 points40 points 9 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

class implies they don't know better.

[–]mwobuddy 38 points39 points40 points 9 years ago* (10 children) | Copy Link

They're women. They've been told all their lives they cant be perpetrators, only victims. Of course they don't know better.

http://cnqzu.com/library/Philosophy/neoreaction/Friedrich%20Nietzsche/Friedrich_Nietzsche%20-%20Human_All_Too_Human_A_Book_for_Free_Spirits_(1996).pdf

Have the adher ents of the theory of free-will the righ

t to punish?

People who judge and punish as a profession try to establish in each case whether an ill-doer is at all accountable for his deed, whether he was able to employ his intelligence, whether he acted for reasons and not unconsciously or under compulsion. If he is punished, he is punished for having preferred the �orse reasons to the better: which he must therefore have known . Where this knowledge is lacking a man is, according to the prevailing view, unfree and not responsible: except if his lack of knowledge, his ignorantia legist for example, is a result of an intentional neglect to learn; in which case, when he failed to learn what he should have learned he had already preferred the worse reasons to the better and must now suffer the consequences of his bad choice. If, on the other hand, he did not see the better reasons, perhaps from dull-wittedness or weakness of mind, it is not usual to punish him: he lacked, one says, the capacity to choose, he acted as an animal would. For an offence to be punishable pre­ supposes that its perpetrator intentionally acted contrary to the better dictates of his intelligence . But how can anyone intentionally be less intel­ ligent than he has to be? Whence comes the decision when the scales are weighted with good and bad motives? Not from error, from blindness, not from an external nor from an internal compulsion? (Consider, more­ over, that every so-called 'external compulsion' is nothing more than the internal compulsion of fear and pain .) Whence? one asks again and

again. The intelligence is not the cause, because it could not decide against the better reasons? And here one calls 'free-will' to one's aid: it is pure wilfulness which is supposed to decide, an impulse is supposed to enter within which motive plays no part, in which the deed, arising out of nothing, occurs as a miracle. It is this supposed wilfulness, in a case in which wilfulness ought not to reign, which is punished: the rational intel­ ligence, which knows law, prohibition and command, ought to have per­ mitted no choice, and to have had the effect of compulsion and a higher power. Thus the offender is punished because he employs 'free-will', that is to say, because he acted without a reason where he ought to have acted in accordance with reasons. Why did he do this? But it is precisely this question that can no longer even be asked : it was a deed without a 'for that reaso n', without motive, without origin, something purposeless and

non-rational.

But such a deed too ought, in accordance with the first con­ dition of all punishability laid down above, not to be puni shed! It is not as if something had not been done here, something omitted, the intelligence had not been employed: for the omission is under all circumstances unin­ tentional! and only the intentional omission to perform what the law com­ mands counts as punishable. The offender certainly preferred the worse reasons to the better, but without reason or intention: he certainly failed to employ his intelligence, but not for the purpose of not employing it. The presupposition that for an offence to be punishable its perpetrator must have intentionally acted contrary to his intellig ence - it is precisely this presupposition which is annulled by the assumption of 'free- will' . You adherents of the theory of 'free-will' have no right to wnish, your own principles deny you that right! - But these are at bottom nothing but a very peculiar conceptual mythology; and the hen that hatched it sat on her eggs in a place far removed from reality.

I've had this problem of conscience the last 10 years. What is truly free will? If it exists only as partial, how does free will really exist? It is either universal and beyond the physical (metaphysical), or it is a lie. Sam Harris discusses free will as well.

He would say that we do have the necessity to imprison or kill 'bad people', to answer Nietzsche's question, but the layman of society still considers the religion of free will when making judgements about others.

There is no god switch in a person's brain, nothing that transcends the physical (how the brain is wired, designed, information put in it). We like to think so, but if you locked an otherwise perfectly healthy twin in a basement from 1 to 40 years old, and let the other twin roam free, you'd have proof positive that what creates a human being is not even primarily their DNA, etc. What creates a human being is almost wholly their experiences.

While the free twin might go on to become a 'pillar of the community', with perfectly correct morals and values, the imprisoned twin will be completely amoral. They will not see any positive or negative value in harming others, if it suits their needs. They will not understand law, or reason, or socially acceptable behavior. They'll act at the most basic, instinctual level with grunts or actions to get their needs met. If they grow up fearful, they will likely not act against others only out of fear, not out of a sense of others as having a right to life. If they are pushed to survive, such as being put in a room with a 'real human' and food being left only after a week, it is likely they'll use whatever means necessary to secure the food, even to the point of killing the other person.

The argument in legal trials is that in the moment, the person accused of a crime had 'soul knowledge', that transcends the physical, ultimate ability to decide right and wrong, and to weigh the values and then, with 'free will' choose the worse outcome, the one they know to be wrong.

But that's not what we see when we listen to people accused of crimes. The other person always "deserved it", or its somehow not their fault. They don't want to believe they chose the worse outcome, they want to believe that it was right for them, in that moment, to do what they did. This sounds like sociopathy or antisocial disorder, but its actually something we all have within us, the ability to rationalize our behavior as somehow being right or not really bad, because of the struggle between cultural values (which themselves are even inconsistent, as we suggest that revenge is actually a viable, and just behavior, but that harming others is wrong), and our true lack of free will, as we are biomechanical machines, born without our own consent, exposed to ideologies and cultures from birth without our own consent, and even 'brain washed', in the most literal sense of the term, by our families and our cultures.

The "in the basement" is similar to Plato's Cave Allegory, although it's meant to aim at free will rather than how flawed everyday human perception is. If you disconnect a human from experience from the moment it was born, and somehow it manages to stay living for 40 years, what chance does it have of behaving in 'socially acceptable' manners? Of being 'well adjusted',according to our value systems?

If a human being's existence relies so heavily on external factors, how can we really be 'free willed'? The buddhists call it 'dependent arising'.

[–]moonunit93 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

I believe we have free will in that you always have the ability to make a decision despite your current state of conditioning. I will note this assumes you know that another option exists, but I think that goes without saying.

I personally do agree that we don't have "fully" free will due to this experience based conditioning you speak of, but at the end of the day you do still have power to act against that existing foundation. If it weren't possible, people wouldn't ever be able to accomplish change.

I struggle with weight. My diet is pretty bad both on choice of foods and amount of intake, as it has been since I can ever remember. But I know every time I mindlessly grab X unhealthy food from the fridge that I have the choice not to. Choosing not to is much harder, takes thought, takes intentional will power, but it's a possibility. That will power just requires my activating.

Free will when defined as some nearly omnipotent level of choice and control over ones life will never match up to the reality that we exist in. But if you define free will as the choice to move freely within your already confined space, then I believe we do have it.

[–]mwobuddy 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

make a decision despite your current state of conditioning.

If people can be brainwashed, it precludes the notion we can make decisions free of constraints. The classical brainwash scenario doesn't play out any differently than cultural brainwashing from birth.

As I said, women don't believe they can be perps because they're hammered as victims and irresponsible in sexual games.

[–]moonunit93 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Someone being brain washed and thus contesting free will is like me cutting off someones legs and contesting the notion humans can walk upright. I don't think the conversation of free will revolves around whether it exists in such extreme situations.

You say "Women don't believe they can be perps". I know plenty of women who understand that both men and women, as we're all human, have the capability to make bad decisions and take poor actions against others. I also know women who do think they cant be perps. But people have different opinions even in the same relative environment due to our ability to think for ourselves within that environment and come to different conclusions.

Free will doesn't stop you from being influenced by the outside elements, it gives you the power to redirect that conditioning at any time given some amount of effort.

[–]mwobuddy 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Brainwashing in terms of psychological mind fucks within the space of a month is not any different than brainwashing over 18 years of birth to adulthood. One is just a shorter route. That's the point.

The ultimate stockholme syndrome victim is the child, who cannot care for its own needs and needs to shape itself to fit into its world.

Its why giant cunts come from broken families, where they then go on ragey binges of cluster B personality disorders against others.

I mean, come on. Its not that hard to realize. Children are the most vulnerable to being brainwashed.

Just because it isn't called brainwashing doesn't mean that isn't exactly what we do when raising children.

[–]moonunit93 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I acknowledged that we do it, and that you cant stop that outside influence from being ever present. That will never change the fact that you have the ability to think about things and draw conclusions. We live in a world where, for the most part, people have access to a wealth of opinions and knowledge outside of whatever sphere they've grown up in. I noted in my original post that so long as you know another option exists, you have the power to choose it. Will you? Probably not, because we like to stick to our habits, because again that outside influence and conditioning is very real. But, free will doesn't require all your choices to be of equal ease, it just means you have choices.

Expecting a free will free of any and all constraints is completely illogical given the practicality of our existence. You exist in a confined space with confined possibilities. Within that starting square, you pretty much get to do anything you want.

[–]mwobuddy 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

That will never change the fact that you have the ability to think about things and draw conclusions.

How we think determines the conclusions we draw, how we're raised determines how we think.

[–]moonunit93 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

How we're raised determines what we believe*

Thinking is an ability that you have where you can take data and process its meaning. Through that process, you can actively change your beliefs.

I'll keep reiterating it's not easy, and all of that initial conditioning is real. But the presence of external influence does not trump the existence of free will. That's not a logical conclusion to draw. There are a million blinding examples of humans exerting free will.

Within some Amish and Mennonite communities adolescent members are sent on "Rumspringa". Literal translation to english "Running around". They go and spend time outside of the amish way of life and experience the modern society. After Rumspringa a choice is made. To either stay in the community they've grown up in and know so well. Or to venture off into the relatively new and unknown world.

They are all raised within these special close communities, with many habits and beliefs so different from the outside world. Without technology in many cases, this is a great example of the "brainwashed" individual who doesn't yet even know of the other options. Then, while venturing out of that life and into a new world, they become presented with all these new options. That new perspective and side by side choice is now available, whereas previously only 1 choice existed. Some of them choose to leave.

If you truly believe that resulted naturally from their upbringing and was not due to their choice, so be it. We'll have to agree to disagree on that one.

[–]pandalolz 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Subjectively you have free will, but I don't really see any way that we could in fact have it unless there is something supernatural about the human mind.

The choices you make come entirely out of the cascading effect of the combination of physiological genetic differences and past life experiences. For example, I think of our lives kind of like a Plinko board from the price is right. The people we are born to determine the shape of our disk (genetics) and the slot we are dropped into (social standing, location, etc..) then our direction of descent down the board is determined by the pegs (life experiences).

If every time you made a choice we made an exact copy of that reality and replayed that instance you would make the same choice 100% of the time.

If I knew the location and velocity of every particle in the universe I could use that information to predict everything that will ever happen.

[–]moonunit93 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You're still talking about this totally impractical omnipotent free will. By the logic you're employing, any outside constriction is an immediate halting of your ability to choose. You started with "subjectively you have free will". As if that is somehow not the kind of free will we should be trying to define? Your existence as a conscious organism is subjective to begin with, expecting the free will to not exist in some inherent starting box is ridiculous.

I don't get to choose my plinko board, I don't get to choose how big I am or what shape I am before I begin falling into that board. But while in that board you are never required to pick any directional drop more than another. The natural flow of things, if you choose to sit dormant, will carry you to some ending slot. But you have the power to go left even when leaning right or vice versa.

By your desired definition we would need to be supernatural as you stated. But considering from the get go we know we are an organism that is limited, how can you justify searching for supernatural capability in a non supernatural existence?

You're not wrong in saying we don't have free will by the definition you're attempting to assign. My point is that the definition you're trying to assign is nonsensical given the inherent restrictions that you have by being human.

[–]daten-shi 4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Unfortunately a lot of legal definitions for rape make it so that men can't be raped, only sexually assaulted.

[–]5th_Law_of_Robotics 92 points93 points94 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I don't see how anyone can read that and think we live in a rape culture for women.

[–]TheCoyPinch 19 points20 points21 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

This doesn't say anything about a rape culture for women, all it shows is that there's a rape culture for men.

[–]urammar 29 points30 points31 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Whoosh

[–]SolongStarbird 44 points45 points46 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

I sat awake last night reading most of that thread. I guess my deep fear that I might meet a female rapist wanted to be fed or something, because I just kept reading... It was so disheartening. A lot of them seem to be from over ten years ago. Has the whole "men can't be raped" attitude changed at all?

[–]foot_kisser 15 points16 points17 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

I sat awake last night reading most of that thread. I guess my deep fear that I might meet a female rapist wanted to be fed or something, because I just kept reading... It was so disheartening.

Be careful about that sort of thing. I remember reading a similar thread about people whose SO had committed suicide. I still remember a couple of the stories, like the one whose girlfriend blew her head off with a shotgun in front of him... I kept reading, and reading, and reading, and it was quite depressing.

You can overdo it with sadness. Too much at once can and will affect your mood. Maybe overdose on cute bunny pictures afterward, or whatever makes you happy. I'm not telling you not to look at a bunch of terrible things at once, just make sure and take care of yourself when you do.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

But don't be afraid to feel bad.

[–]C4H8N8O8 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yea, i love that gloomy feeling from time to time, it lets me enjoy and feel the things in a different way.

Maybe i developed this after having depression, better to feel sad than to not feel nothing at all.

[–]SolongStarbird 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you for your concern. I think I'll do something cutesy tonight.

[–]nomis6432 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

/r/Eyebleach is perfect for this.

[–]adelie42 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Individually.

[+]JustinTrudeauLPC points 9 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

I had a friend in college that I played rugby with. Good guy but smaller in stature, maybe 5'6" tall, 150lbs. Our team had a tour that went to Ireland to play for a couple of weeks and when he got back he seemed "off" somehow. He got drunk after a game shortly afterwards and related the story of during the tour being billeted to a family and their daughter was a very large woman and got him extremely drunk and then raped him. He was really fucked up about it because she was apparently really unattractive and the experience of having a woman completely overpower him left him feeling emasculated. I'm pretty sure I'm the only person that he told from the team and I'm sure if the team had found out it would have been a source of great humiliation for him.

[–]adelie42 10 points11 points12 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Speaking from experience and hearing stories from both male and female victims, plenty of people freeze or don't fight back against perps they might have been able to overpower.

Imho, the attractiveness and physical strength of the perp shouldn't necessarily be a gage of whether or not it is "really rape". It unnecessarily brings in questions that don't need to be brought up.

Looking at it the other way, I can only imagine how sick a victim might feel were they to make an outcry and be told, "but they're so hot!?"

I wouldn't say it is all equally humiliating, there are differences, but only where the victims therapy and processing of what happened to them is concerned.

Only speaking to my own experiences, being manipulated / guilted into sex was worse than by physical force. At least when it was by physical force it was easier to believe it wasn't my fault.

[–]-redditardation- 111 points112 points113 points 9 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link

"If he gets raped he should be happy because she's pleasuring him furthering the patriarchal notion that women simply exist to provide men sexual gratification."

Pretty sure I'm feminisming right.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Username checks out.

[+]Sinujutsu -33 points-32 points-31 points 9 years ago* (15 children) | Copy Link

You're not, feminism is about equality. Any "feminist" who says men can't be raped simply isn't actually a feminist, they're just sexist.

Edit: sexist maybe isn't the right word here idk. What intended to say was that I don't see a purpose demonizing feminism itself over people not treating men equally as women. To me, anyone who thinks men cannot be raped simply doesn't fully understand feminism, but that's obviously biased toward MY perspective on feminism. Also, as adieli42 points out below, this view is "gatekeeping" feminism. Given me a lot to think about people. Thank you.

[–]adelie42 18 points19 points20 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

As much as I am in favor of such gatekeeping, that would put a serious divide across those that self identify as feminists.

From what I have seen, egalitarian movements tend to work towards making some people more equal than others. For some feminists "creating equality" exists under the narrative that men are inherently superior / run the world. From that standpoint equality is a direction to move, not a state to be achieved.

[–]RubyOrchid13 12 points13 points14 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Source? Because I can show a ton of mainstream feminist organizations actively fighting progress on male issues all the time. NOW, the biggest feminist orginazation in the world, fights against shared parenting in divorce. When we look at European countries, you see the big feminist groups promoting laws that say men can be raped.

You are following an ideology. Just like religious people saying those people aren't real Christian's, or insert whatever religion denouncing others. That is basically the entirety of your argument, real feminists aren't like that. Sure they are. If they weren't, groups like NOW wouldn't have the support that they do. The ideology known as feminism, also kicked Warren Farrel out because he wanted male domestic violence shelters. Can't have that... Have fun thinking feminism is the ideology of equality with out an objective source to back it. The movement is dying, and I say good riddance.

[–]-redditardation- 10 points11 points12 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

That's what they claim it is however in practice it is about female supremacy.

The unwillingness of feminist organizations to accept the plight of men and advocate for them is an example of this. In fact often times feminists actively silence voices that try to draw attention to this. Look no further than the Red Pill fiascos happening all the time.

Not to mention the Duluth model which is the most vile, sexist garbage that has vocal support from many feminists.

It's all Marxist garbage at this point and it sees the woman as the proletariat and the man as the bourgeoisie.

[–]orcscorper 9 points10 points11 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Feminism is about equality for women in any area where women feel they have it worse. The ERA failed not because of the Reagan revolution, but because women realized it would actually take away some advantages they enjoyed. They just stopped fighting for it.

People who advocate for equal treatment for men are demonized, harassed, even assaulted by feminists. They believe in equality about as much as the average Nazi, hence the term "feminazi" .

[–]KingRobotPrince 4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Feminism is about equality for women in any area where women feel they have it worse.

This is exactly the problem.

A lot of the stuff in the news, similar to race issues actually, seems to be women fighting for equality for all of their group with only the highest and most privileged white man.

The target seems to be this mythical wealthy privileged white man, who is keeping the women and the other minorities down while only looking out for other white men. The fact that the vast majority of white men aren't CEOs who got their position because they are white males seems of little importance to them.

It's collective punishment.

[–]420weedscopes 16 points17 points18 points 9 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

So the majority of feminists are sexist hmm seems legit. Majority of feminists say men can't be raped and have pushed laws and legislation to prevent men from getting justice.

[–]The_Ostrich_you_want 7 points8 points9 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I think the idea is that the most ridiculous and obnoxious people are often the loudest, they are the ones we see and hear about. That do the things your talking about. I'm not a fan of feminism in this current style because it seems to support those who are the worst. I'm all for equality. But not under a roof that shares those people.

[–]420weedscopes 5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Well Feminism isn't about equality though. They claim to be but it just isn't reality

[+]JewBoyFire -6 points-5 points-4 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

I think he means as in they aren't a true feminist; most feminists I've seen agree that male rape and abuse is an awful thing.

[–]damac_phone 10 points11 points12 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

And any Scotsman who puts milk on his oatmeal isn't a true Scotsman

[+]NoisyToyKing -8 points-7 points-6 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Being scottish is not an idea, its based on geography and other factual, verifiable attributes. Feminism is an idea, and like all ideas, can be co opted and corrupted. There is no "true feminism" because ideas have no purity test, they are inherently non-static, even at their inception. Labeling all feminists as whateverthefuck you seem to think they all are is identical to saying men cant be raped. Its fucking retarded and you aren't helping.

[–]damac_phone 4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

whoosh

[–]orcscorper 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Nobody "label[ed] all feminists as whateverthefuck" anything. Sinujutsu claimed that a "feminist" who claims that men can't be raped is somehow not a feminist. Classic "no true Scotsman" fallacy.

If you don't think being Scottish is an idea, you are definitely not Scottish. No true Scotsman would say such a thing.

Labeling all feminists as "people who wouldn't say something as stupid as 'men can't be raped' ", as (s)he did, is fucking retarded. You do realize that labelling those people as "not feminists" is the same as labelling all feminists as "not those people", right? It's the most basic logic. If you can't follow it, you are probably retarded.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

No true Scotsman

[–]TheSummerain 24 points25 points26 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The comments though are amazing and supportive.

[–]Imnotmrabut 13 points14 points15 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

For Future Reference When Dipsticks Say Men Can't Be Raped.

Sexual Assault Of Juveniles In Prison
Approximately 95% of all youth reporting staff sexual misconduct said they had been victimized by female staff. In 2008, 42% of staff in state juvenile facilities were female.
Beck, Allen J. Sexual victimization in juvenile facilities reported by youth, 2008-2009. DIANE , U.S. Department of Justice Publishing, 2010. NCJ 228416

.


.


Men Don't Get Raped?
"A total of 43 percent of high school boys and young college men reported they had an unwanted sexual experience and of those, 95 percent said a female acquaintance was the aggressor, "
“Sexual Coercion Context and Psychosocial Correlates Among Diverse Males,” Bryana H. French, PhD, Jasmine D. Tilghman, MEd, and Dominique A. Malebranche, BS, University of Missouri; Psychology of Men & Masculinity; online March, 2014.

.


.


The Real Rape Culture
"The torture of inmates in U.S. detention facilities through sexual assault has long been allowed to occur with impunity.".
Just Detention International

[–]HeForeverBleeds 9 points10 points11 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

One thing I'm thinking while reading through these is how many of them never resulted in any kind of conviction. Of course, this is both because many of them were never reported in the first place and also because in many of them they told others but weren't believed, and honestly I'm have my doubts that going to the police--usually with little or no evidence--would have resulted in a conviction anyway

Either way, it remains that the vast majority of these perpetrators will never end up in the statistics of how many sex offenders are male or female

[–]l3lueman67 4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I made a thread like this and it got a fair amount of serious responses and only a few assholes.

[–]thalos3D 8 points9 points10 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Exact same reasoning as the idea that only white people can be racists -- and just as vile.

[–]iiooiooi[S] 10 points11 points12 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

EDIT: Male

[–]akamustacherides 6 points7 points8 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

If being to drunk to consent is enough to claim rape, think of how many ugly women are rapists.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

This is the one that kills me. I've been raped multiple times if this is rape, waking up next to fatties and uggos that I'd not have given the time of day sober. One that sticks with me is going upstairs to pass out, and coming to with a buddies cow sized friend riding me.

Thing is though, none of it "scarred me deep and for life". I would just feel a bit of nausea, to this day, on those memories. Mostly I'd just be mad at myself for getting so inebriated that those situations could occur.

Otherwise it's just "meh", could care less. But reverse the genders and I'd be a "scarred victim and heroic survivor!" Instead of just a man annoyed with himself and learning limits with alcohol.

[–]akamustacherides 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

We have similar experiences. I came to once and a woman was going down on me, blacked out, came to, eating her pussy, blacked out, came to, fucking her doggy, blacked out, came to, throwing up.

I think most guys are "WTF? Oh well I'm fucking, might as well get my nut." If roles were reversed I'm sure there would be a lot of crying, screaming, police, jail time, and forced sodomy.

[–]lagrandenada 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Isn't it interesting that the same source of this archaic nonsense (men can't be raped) is English common law, which also stated a husband can't rape his wife, and that being under 14 was a defense to an accusation of rape because that person couldn't ejaculate?

[–]Queen_Jezza 5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I don't see any, I guess they got removed.

[–]ladut 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

No, there weren't that many to begin with. That thread was overwhelmingly positive and supportive.

[–]Celda 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The comments from the men who were raped are talking about how they were told that men can't be raped. One of them even said their therapist told them that.

[–]ReefNixon 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It takes a while to realise that this attitude is even a problem. I might delete this comment because people know my /u/ but I was raped by my ex at least 50 times and it took me years to realise that that's what it was.

Before then I'd just thought of it as "my fiancé forced me to have sex with her", as if that and "my fiancé raped me" were two different things.

I'm not sure what triggered the sudden clarity though, unfortunately.

[–]damac_phone 9 points10 points11 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I used to work with a guy who had been raped and he even said himself that it wasn't rape, because that can't happen to a man.

[–]EricAllonde 10 points11 points12 points 9 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

This women's blog has done a story about the thread now:

http://www.mamamia.com.au/stories-of-men-being-raped/

[–]HeForeverBleeds 27 points28 points29 points 9 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

It's good that they're drawing attention to it, but almost anytime there's an article about female-on-male sexual violence, somewhere in there they have to put something like

in Australia, it is estimated that 93 per cent of offenders are male.

which may be true in terms of conviction rates, but paints a very inaccurate picture in reality as the proportion of female offenders are much higher when looking at sexual violence surveys and self-report studies, where most of the women were not ever legally convicted

Citing only conviction rates and not rates reported from studies gives the impression that women are much less likely to do it, when really they're just much less likely to be convicted for it. But such articles always have to mention these skewed statistics. Maybe I'm being overly pessimistic, but to me it's like saying "don't forget that men raping women is still the much more important issue"

[–]adelie42 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Similarly, I've known women to be in very abusive (physically and blatantly manipulative) relationships. Bit at the same time I can't possibly imagine the abuser receiving any kind of legal punishment. But similarly, I can also see such victims turned away from domestic abuse shelters because of "insert gay stereotype".

[–]malerapethrowawa 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

Most men are raped by other men, I certainly was.

[–]HeForeverBleeds 11 points12 points13 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

It's a horrible thing either way. I was raped by a woman--actually, several as my mother shared me with her female friends. Personal experiences aside, when including a woman forcing a male to penetrate her in the definition of "rape", it's very possible that women rape males more than males rape males

People need to recognize that rape is not a man thing, and it's simply false to say that women commit only a tiny minority of rape

[–]malerapethrowawa -4 points-3 points-2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

That male on male rape percentage of 1.7 is not even close to true. And if you'd been in any male survivors groups you'd know it. I sure wish it had been a woman bouncing on my dick instead of my asshole torn open. It's not the fucking same. Just look out how many upvotes you are getting, people support you, your story makes them want to make you feel better. They'd rather I didn't exist. It isn't the fucking same and you know it.

[–]orcscorper 8 points9 points10 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

They'd rather I didn't exist.

No, we'd rather you weren't an idiot. You claim that the statistic saying 1.7% of men are raped by men is untrue, without citation. Downvote. Then you assume nobody here has been in any male survivors' groups, and that the fact that you have makes you an expert in the subject. Downvote. Then you repeat the tired old "being raped by a woman isn't really rape". Downvote. Then you whine about imaginary internet points. Double downvote. Then you repeat yourself. Downvote. Not victim blaming, but have you tried not being a bitch?

[–]Greg_W_Allan 4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

And if you'd been in any male survivors groups you'd know it.

I have over about two decades. My observation would be that it's an equal opportunity game when it comes to who the perpetrators are.

I really hope you don't display that hostility to victims of female perpetrators in those group settings.

[–]HeForeverBleeds 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

I could just as well say that "I sure wish" I were sexually abused by my father and a bunch of men instead, because that way my principal would have believed me instead of saying "mothers don't do things like that"

And my teacher would have listened instead of saying I could have stopped them if I wanted to since they were just women and I was a "man"

And the police would have started an investigation when they saw the other men(women) in the videos my father(mother) and his friends made instead of dismissing them because women doing things like this weren't see as real threats worth spending resources to hunt down

I doubt any male abused by women would want to be apart of or share his story with any male survivor group that someone as ignorant and compassionless as to basically say "stop whining, at least it wasn't a man" is apart of, so I can see why your observations may be disparate from the overall trend. The facts remain what they are, though

[–]duhhhh 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You are correct. 80 percent of the perpetrators of 'made to penetrate' aka 'forcible envelopement' however are women. Unfortunately that much more common sexual act isn't considered rape in the stats.

[–]Celda 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Most men are raped by other men, I certainly was.

Completely false.

For that to be true, you would have to believe that gay men are literally committing 15x as much rape, per capita, as straight women. Since there are 15x as many straight women as gay men.

So I don't think you actually stopped and thought your position through - if you had, you'd have realized how bigoted and nonsensical it was.

Plus, the CDC study shows that the majority of male rape victims are raped by women. (explanation below)

Can you explain why you believed the false statement that most male rape victims are raped by men?

https://www.cdc.gov/ViolencePrevention/pdf/NISVS_Report2010-a.pdf

Page 19, table 2.2.

1.1% of men "made to penetrate" in the last 12 months, and too few men raped to have an estimate. Of men made to penetrate, 79.2% reported only female perpetrators, as stated on page 24.

Now, you might say "what about the lifetime figures". Those also don't help you.

1.4% of men (total 1,581,000) reported being raped (i.e. penetrated) in their lifetime, with 4.8% (total 5,451,000) reported being made to penetrate. Of that 1.4%, 93.3% reported only male perpetrators.

That gives us 1,470,330 men "raped" (i.e. penetrated) by other men, and 1,133,808 men made to penetrate by other men - total of 2,604,138.

And in comparison, 4,317,192 men made to penetrate by women, and 105,927 men "raped" (penetrated) by women - total of 4,423,119.

As you can see, the male victims of female perpetrators far outnumber the male victims of male perpetrators.

[–]adelie42 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Would it make a difference if you were in a minority statistical group?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

That is very sad.

[–]crazypants88 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It truly is.

[–]TrashTierZarya 4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I don't see anything saying men can't be raped. Do you have th comments

[–]Celda 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Did you even read the thread? Many of the comments are the guys explaining how they were told that men can't be raped. One of them said their therapist told them that.

[–]TrashTierZarya 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh i

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

But very unsurprising.

[–]Aidernz 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah I saw that. I couldn't get through many stories :/

[–]Cmart1984 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Men can be raped, I was 16, she was 24 and my best friends brothers girlfriend.

She came over my house with my friend for Super Bowl. She had been kind of hitting on me for a while. My buddy had to leave for a while. She told me she wanted to have sex. I said no. She went into the bathroom, and no shit, started cutting her legs with a razor blade.

She told me if I didn't fuck her, she'd kill herself on my bathroom. I felt like my choices were to do it or explain to my mother how a chick killed herself in the bathroom.

Needless to say it was the most disgusting thing I ever did in my life. My friend came back while it was happening and it turned into a huge mess.

[–]UDT22 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I Googled women convicted of the rape of a man and this is all I could find

http://fox4kc.com/2015/05/17/woman-convicted-of-breaking-into-apartment-raping-man-headed-to-prison/

[–]Akesgeroth 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow. I'm surprised the mods there didn't memory hole the thread.

[–]Underwater_Karma 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

When I was in college I'd lost my sublease and was crashing at a friend's house for a few weeks, and we had a big house party. I drank way to much and was being aggressively pursued by a girl I was in no way attracted to. I was fading fast and every time I started to drift off, she'd be all over me..slobbering on my mouth and pawing at my crotch.

After pushing her off the third time, I went in my bedroom, locked the door and passed right out. And you can guess, I woke up to find she'd jimmied the crappy lock, was naked, and was sucking my penis to get it hard enough to jump on.

Id been trying to put her off politely all night, but now I was just mad. I started yelling at her to "get the fuck out" and called her a "fat pig", and threw her clothes out into the hall. When she went after them, I locked and blocked the door with my body..eventually passing out there. In the morning I found out everyone in the house was mad at ME. they'd all seen her pawing at my drunk ass all night and thought it was hilarious, and said that what I did (locking her naked into the hall) and said to her was horrible and uncalled for. Nobody gave two shits for the fact that she'd sexually assaulted me, and would have full raped me if I hadn't woken up. No... calling a girl fat was way, way worse. I ended up having to move out over the incident...I was literally sexually assaulted and victim blamed to the point I had to find a new place to live.

Imagine if a man jimmied a drunk woman's locked door to get access to rape her, then undressed and began performing oral sex on her to get get ready for penetration...Nobody would have faulted the women for literally shooting and killing the man...But reversed the sexes and the guy is in the wrong for not wanting to be raped and being rude about it. Think about that, a behavior that could result in a man legally being killed (and the killer called a 'hero'), but if a woman does it somehow she's still the victim.

Does anyone really think the police would have cared if I'd filed a complaint? I couldn't even get my friends to care. That's the reality for male victims of female sexual assaults, nobody cares...or rather the only level of "care" that it rises to is "pretty funny".

[–]Colonosco-Peter -1 points0 points1 point 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Anyone care to link the thread?

[–]ZorbaTHut 11 points12 points13 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The post links to it, just click the title.

[–]iiooiooi[S] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/66hcf8/serious_men_who_have_been_raped_by_women_whats/

[–]asdrojas -1 points0 points1 point 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

link?

[–]pigi5 6 points7 points8 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The post is a link...

[–]iiooiooi[S] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/66hcf8/serious_men_who_have_been_raped_by_women_whats/

[+][deleted] -10 points-9 points-8 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

i literally don't see a single upvoted comment denying men can be raped

you faggots are so triggered about everything

[–]eixan -5 points-4 points-3 points 9 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't see why we need to borrowwomen victim mentality when it comes to rape. In most cases it's just shitty sex. That being said of course I'm not agruing that it should Edit: not be illegal but comeon it's far from the end of world. Especially for men, and all the plethora of other far more important issues that we have to deal with.

In fact I think the hysteria that women have when it comes to rape comes from a place of misandry. Remember when we hung black men for raping white women? Why? Because a white woman was defiled.

Im not the only craze person who has this view. Here's a WOMEN from REASON tv who has a very similar view(basically a libertarian think tank but its not like their a redpil rape apologist group)

https://www.youtube.com/D2fCPvuoHx0?t=20m16s

We've come back around to again to these very victorian notions that a women is damaged by sex. That a women is hurt by sex. That when a women is raped for example that her life will never be the same again. That she's ruined. They used to call it a fate worse then death. And I think that this is an instrisiticly anti-feminist view because it gives tremendous power to men

[+][deleted] -22 points-21 points-20 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

I think there is a fundamental point this thread is missing, namely the fundamentally different way males and females interpret the act of sex. Cuz evolutionary biology, and with all other things equal, the pure act of non consensual sex affects the psyche of a female more deeply than it does a male on average. Throw in the fact that the physics of the act itself incorporating a penetrator and a reciever, and it makes perfect sense to me that a man being raped is generally less of a "thing" than a woman being raped. I am male, and have been in situations in my younger drinking days where I "came to" in the middle of an otherwise unwanted sexual encounter, in one instance full blown banging, and this had zero negative effect on psychologically and thankfully biologically. (read: no STDS) All rapes are not equal, and although some cases I'm sure are awful and akin to tradional views of the terrible act, lets not belittle the tragedy of male sexual aggression vs women, by comparing it apples to apples to its generally more benevolent counterpart.

[–]orcscorper 13 points14 points15 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You thought wrong. The thread was not fundamentally missing that fundamental point that males and females are fundamentally fundamental. You're missing the point that everyone is not you. You might be cool with a gang of bull dykes tying you up and anally fisting you. Probably not; I don't know you. The thing is, everyone has things they are okay with sexually, and things they are not okay with. If you do something to someone without clear consent, and they aren't okay with it, that's sexual assault. If they are okay with it, it's pretty much sexual assault, but you got lucky.

If you passed out, and woke up with a chick riding you and were okay with that, bully for you. Some guys would be pretty fuckin' far from okay.

[–]mwobuddy 6 points7 points8 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

the effect isn't as bad, so it shouldn't be considered the same level of violation.

There are some women that don't mind, even go home with men drunk and pass out, get raped, and then go back to the bar to do it over again. Typical behavior of rape victims is to be fearful and avoid places that trigger them.

Some women seem to not have any problems with being raped. They get drunk, fuck when not in a consenting capable state of mind, and then do it oevr and over, and feel perfectly fine.

Some do it once and think they're raped and behave just like a victim of rape.

http://drdavidhamilton.com/does-your-brain-distinguish-real-from-imaginary/

The placebo effect works because the brain can't tell real from imaginary.

It can 'lie' to itself and the rest of the body.

So women that believe they were raped, I mean really believe it, when they had drunken sex, may really feel as violated as someone who claims to have been raped by someone physically forcing them into sex while they said no. They know and hear the stories, and they can become victims of their own minds.

In contrast, that woman who goes back to the bar to fuck more men while in an inebriated state of mind is, by definition, a victim of rape, but she doesn't think its rape, and therefore its not in her mind, and she exhibits no symptoms of having been a victim.

You've touched on a key point in the problem of rape vs sex. They are almost identical acts who are nearly indistinguishable from one another in the act itself, and only the mind plays a role in it.

Men probably are 'less affected' overall than women because of the culture we live in. Of course... we can't ask all those successful suicidal men who outnumber women 6 to 1; they're dead.

So we rely on self-reports, which are few, due to shame, lack of understanding, etc.

I had my dick touched without my consent by a woman I was dancing with. I asked a professor about it and he said "just different cultures I guess".

If culture determines what is and isn't sexual assault and rape, that leaves the whole thing far too ambiguous to know who's really a victim and who's not.

Do we go by feels alone? Then women that claim rape regardless of circumstance are raped (unless they're flat out lying about any sexual contact).

However, to say that men are 'magically less vulnerable to the effects' ignores the complexity of this issue.

Its also sexist. Plenty of women are less vulnerable, too.

[–]Lipshitz2 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

fuck yourself

Browse all authors
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter