Forever Alone

wub1234 · 2017-12-13T15:06:57+00:00

I heard Jerry Seinfeld tell a clever joke about this. It went something like this.

When I was single, I hated hanging out with my married friends because I thought their lives were so pathetically depressing.

But now that I'm married, I hate hanging out with my single friends because I find their lives trivial and meaningless.

And I think in both cases I was correct.

Casshern1973 · 2017-12-13T15:11:19+00:00

Most people like a beautiful garden, not all are in the position to have it, or have the will to constantly work on it

Merger-Arbitrage · 2017-12-13T14:44:37+00:00

I can say one thing with a high degree of certainty, speaking for myself:

Good Relationship > Being Single > Bad Relationship

tenmileswide · 2017-12-13T16:25:05+00:00

Speaking for myself, there is a general baseline: I am generally happy being single. I am not optimally happy, but I am quite happy.

I see little incentive to enter into a relationship with someone that reduces my quality of life, merely for the sake of having a relationship.

InformalCriticism · 2017-12-13T15:07:05+00:00

I think a healthy understanding of exactly how badly things can go wrong can give you a robust sense of gratitude for your single life.

Now, if you see others in happy, strong, and supportive relationships and you see yourself as capable of finding that in your own life, then your sanity is at risk.

However, if you have a healthy understanding of the risk, and you believe you are capable of having those good relationships, then you may have already lost your sanity.

RadaNotaTaakaDaPills · 2017-12-13T15:36:51+00:00

I don't think people who are happily single would necessarily have the same configurations of wants and needs as compared to those whose wants and needs includes a relationship. There are probably some human beings who simply don't have those wants/needs. They're probably rare though. At the same time, even though they may not have those wants/needs, they may still benefit from a meaningful relationship if the partner provides something of value. In a way, that brings up the question if being paired with someone else is inherently valuable or if the value comes from what the partner can bring to the table.

Of course convincing, going so far as to lie to oneself, that if there is a want/need for relationship but being happy without one, probably leads to, at the very least, dissatisfaction.

I am told that it's possible to eliminate, or at the very least curb the desire for those wants/needs. I do not know if that is true.

PBRScagsquad · 2017-12-13T16:08:42+00:00

Some people can handle being alone forever. Better to be alone than have a relationship with someone you despise.

Afroaway002 · 2017-12-13T16:41:56+00:00

I don’t think it’s a matter of worse off. Sure, there might be a hypothetical relationship that will make them happier than being single but how realistic is it that they’ll get it? Relationships can also detract from happiness after all.

People are resilient. We can be happy in all kinds of situations. So yeah, I do think it’s possible to be happy single forever.

fetchyminx · 2017-12-13T14:47:48+00:00

If you’re really going to talk about actual relationships which require a lot of work and patience especially if you’re going to have kids, that might drive you insane too. Talking about people who say that they’re happily single forever and don’t need a relationship will replace the need for relationships by casual sex or something else. No one truly stays single.

notworthmuch20xx · 2017-12-13T16:28:28+00:00

There's happy, happy enough...

ThrowawayCactus6012 · 2017-12-13T17:16:31+00:00

It depends on the individual personality and what one grows accustomed to. If one is used to a more solitary existence, it's probably more tolerable than those who are used to being in relationships.

wracky272 · 2017-12-13T17:40:37+00:00

I have spent a lot of time in both, and I find the negative aspects of being a relationship to be more tolerable than the negative aspects of being single. If somebody proclaims they are happy being single, why would I try to convince them to change?

Happiness is created, not received.

Orange_Paisley · 2017-12-13T18:37:56+00:00

I was happy being single. Relationships are great and all, but they are hard work and compromise. Single is simple. Single is easy.

passepar2t · 2017-12-13T19:32:14+00:00

I've read studies that humans didn't evolve for monogamy. I figure as long as you're not incel and have a fulfilling role in some social group, you can be pretty happy being single.

AnOathMadeInShadows · 2017-12-13T20:47:41+00:00

Speaking only for myself: I like being alone, partially due to my brain wiring, partially due to how I view humans and relationships and the rest due to experience.

I tend to see them solely by a cost-benefit analysis. Although im young (20's) I see them becoming more costly and less beneficial.

I'm working with my therapist to try to undo years of learned behavior so that I can at least give relationships a try without self sabotage.

I guess to answer your question, I'm fine with being alone, hell I'm happy doing it. But I'm giving relationships a shot, so at the very least I can say I tried.

SkookumTree · 2017-12-13T16:15:44+00:00

There are asexual people, monks, and nuns. None of these groups seem ridden with insanity. Some people are fine with the single life.

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wtknight · 2017-12-13T16:04:14+00:00

Sure. Some people get enough human contact from family and/or friends that they don't need a romantic partner. Sex with another person is also not a need for some people.

Maikowski2 · 2017-12-13T16:04:16+00:00

Are you alone op?

xonxzt · 2017-12-13T16:08:17+00:00

Enlightenment. Transcend human psychology. Not the woo woo shit. These fuckers get root canal procedures done without anesthesia and enjoy it the whole time (but they enjoy everything).

rovad_ · 2017-12-13T18:50:12+00:00

Some people have no other choice, its not that they want to be alone rather they are forced to be alone. Normies deny this because they believe in the just world fallacy of everyone being able to get a romantic counterpart. If youre realistic about your circumstances, then you can avoid the insanity you speak of.

changeIsTheWay · 2017-12-13T19:00:54+00:00

I agree with everything you said pretty much.

Drippyskippy · 2017-12-13T19:25:38+00:00

I prefer a simple life and don't want any kids of my own. Added with the fact that bringing a woman in your life generally complicates things. It has its positives and negatives just like anything else.

AstuteBlackMan · 2017-12-13T19:52:03+00:00

Dying alone marriage wise and dating wise=fine

Dying alone without friends or friendships=understandable if you enjoy the peace but can be sad

zitdok · 2017-12-13T21:06:23+00:00

I think, for most people, convincing yourself you are happily single until you die is a pathway to insanity but what are your thoughts?

It entirely depends on what kind of situation your talking about.

If your saying single their entire life, then no, It's not possible to be happy like that.

However, if it's after a series of relationships that weren't satisfactory, and one has family for some support, I think it is possible to be happy.

despisedlove2 · 2017-12-14T03:33:27+00:00

I will likely be alone until the day I die.

There is possible insanity in my future, but I keep busy and am enjoying what I do. Spending as little time as possible at my house helps. Plan to off myself after retirement.

derivur · 2017-12-14T21:11:23+00:00

TL;DR NO. Long answer: Unless you're very autistic, FUCK NO.

Electra_Cute · 2017-12-13T14:46:39+00:00

It depends on the person.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2017-12-13T15:13:47+00:00

Bizarre conflation of the general with the specific. Just because romantic companionship is a "human need" doesn't mean there aren't individuals who can't be genuinely happy without it.

GotTigerBloodWinning · 2017-12-13T16:03:48+00:00

I'm happy being single, it's just so hard for me to get sex on a consistent basis unless I get girlfriend. It's like women have it on lock down when it comes to sex and use it as a tool for profit. Men give sex for free, women sell it for either money or some other currency. Let's be real if you want to think of it this way for instance; nobody really wants to work do they but we all need money so we have no choice but to go to work and put up with everything that it entails including our boss just so we can get money. Well it's the same with women.. we got to go through the whole dating and relationship process in order to get regular sex.

It's just the harsh fact of life really because anything that you need, you have to be enslaved for in order to get it.

Title	Forever Alone
Author	Mr_Smoogs
Upvotes	8
Comments	93
Date	December 13, 2017 2:39 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/7jjnh3/forever_alone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/forever-alone.264494 https://theredarchive.com/post/264494

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