Women support other women cheating

KrispyMcSockington · 2018-02-14T22:28:19+00:00

Most of us said that we'd let our husband get the test, we would just be hurt/angry about it because of what it implies about us and his faith in us.

The "You wouldn't be mad if you had nothing to hide" thing doesn't really fly in real life; most people don't appreciate being distrusted for no reason. As a clingy, jealous girl who's tried to snoop on boyfriends or outright asked them to tell me where they are so I don't have to worry about them cheating, I can say with certainty that guys don't take kindly to this. They don't just say, "Oh, sure, I understand your concerns and since I have nothing to hide I'll gladly keep you abreast of my whereabouts at all times to quell your fears." Nor should they.

SpaceWhiskey · 2018-02-14T22:53:04+00:00

Women were not asked what we think random men should do if he suspects his baby isn’t his, women were asked how we would react if our real life partners asked for a paternity test. I know I’m not a cheater, I know there is no reason for him to accuse me of cheating on him, so I would be very offended, personally. I even said multiple times that for other, hypothetical couples, I can see why it would be necessary if the man felt it was something he needed to do.

My man wouldn’t need to do it, thus the offense.

AstuteBlackMan · 2018-02-14T22:25:23+00:00

I don't support other women cheating, i don't give a fuck what they do. I care about the dynamics of my personal relationship and only have my husband to prove myself to.

The fact that an overwhelming majority of women would be offended if THEIR OWN MAN didn't trust them does not equate to a free pass for every other cheating whore.

SmurfESmurferson · 2018-02-14T22:28:02+00:00

If my own husband accuses me of not honoring my wedding vows, of being disloyal and unfaithful? Yes, I have every right to take offense.

I'll prove him wrong by taking the test, but I'm going to be insulted by the accusation.

BeyondTheLight · 2018-02-14T23:06:44+00:00

Let's reverse the scenario.

Your wife, who you love and trust and who you think loves and trust you, just walked in with your daughter sitting on your lap. Nothing suspicious. Just sitting there, maybe reading her a book.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, she says, "were you just molesting her?? Men molest kids all the time, and if I don't take her into the police station and have her examined, I'm just enabling future pedophiles. But if you have nothing to hide, you shouldn't have a problem with this, right?!"

How would you feel? I know I feel angry just thinking about it, and probably would for a decade+!

wtknight · 2018-02-14T23:18:22+00:00

It's about relationships being built on trust. Men get just as annoyed when women are always questioning them about their dealings with other women at work, for instance, or what activities they engaged in during a work trip. Jealousy and over-possessiveness in women are often considered red flags to men.

EmpyrrhicalData · 2018-02-14T22:32:29+00:00

The problem with a lot of these kinds of posts is that they ask people (women, in the case of the referenced post) "what would you think if your husband/partner/boyfriend/affianced asked you for a paternity test after you told him you were pregnant." It is asking about how this request would be received in the context of specific, individual relationships, not how "women" would respond if "men" asked for paternity tests. In the vast majority of the specific relationships referenced in that post, such a request would be extremely out of character and alarming.

What you are saying here, squiddy, is related to that. You appear to still be thinking of it in a macro sense. But this:

makes it impossible for men to determine who is lying and who is being honest

is not actually the case. An individual man is in a relationship with an individual woman, not with "women." It doesn't matter if he knows some women who have cheated; he is not married to those women. It's like saying "50% of all marriages end in divorce;" this may be true (it isn't), but that says nothing about any individual marriage. There are numerous factors that contribute to the success of any given marriage, and many of those factors are entirely within the control of the participants. Divorce is not the same as being struck by lightning.

Moreover, many women who responded to your referenced post said that if their husbands had spoken to them about paternity tests early in the relationship, they would have been fine with it. It wasn't necessarily the fact of the paternity test that was the problem; it was the fact that this request would have come out of nowhere, after the woman was already pregnant. The time to best address that stuff is WAY before that point.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2018-02-14T22:41:32+00:00

[deleted]

sublimemongrel · 2018-02-15T00:08:01+00:00

So if your wife randomly asked you to take a STD test periodically you’d be fine with that? Because if a guy doesn’t want to do this or gets offended or hurt I’m not gonna say he condones cheating. He’s probably hurt because she doesn’t trust him.

[deleted] · 2018-02-14T23:52:27+00:00

Based on your title, I don't support women cheating.

If your GF or wife is so shady that you doubt the kid is yours, rethink your investment, hope the test is a false positive and find a better woman.

pinkgoldrose · 2018-02-15T06:57:05+00:00

I think a paternity test is totally fair. Women are 100% sure the baby is theirs and men should have the same biological knowledge (gender equality). I wouldn't even think he suspects me of cheating. If really he suspected me of cheating, a paternity test wouldn't prove I did not cheat so the suspicion would still be there.

AstuteBlackMan · 2018-02-14T23:08:58+00:00

Haha I caused this.

But in all seriousness from what I've read they equate wanting a paternity test as emotionally hurting to a relationship.

Which doesn't make sense as a man because if I'm going to invest time, emotions, physical, mental, and even money (around 200k to raise a child till he's 18) then why should all those attributes be less than how she feels. It makes no sense.

I should be able to know 100% before I legally sign anything saying it's my child. Because if I sign it I could end up paying for till the child is 18 if I don't find out soon enough. Therefore why even risk it?

shoup88 · 2018-02-15T01:13:15+00:00

I think you're really stretching the definition of "support". While my negative reaction to my husband requesting a paternity test may make it easier for cheating wives down the road, it is not the reason I have a negative reaction. It is a side effect. "Support" implies I actively care about that cheating woman and want to protect/celebrate her. In actuality, I don't give a shit what she does.

Why would someone with nothing to hide be so offended?

That's the only time it makes sense to be offended - when you've been accused of something you haven't done by someone you love.

This sounds great in theory but makes it impossible for men to determine who is lying and who is being honest.

Your wife being angry with you is not an impossible obstacle. Grow some balls. If you want a test, ask for it. And then deal with the consequences.

crumblesnatch · 2018-02-14T22:55:50+00:00

I've cut women out of my life because they cheated on their partner. My little sister is "dating" a married man, and since I can't really cut her out, I just tell her how I feel about it every time it comes up. And don't let me meet the guy, or he'll get an earfull too, the scumbag. I find cheating to be abhorrent, disgusting, disrespectful, selfish behaviour and I have a reeeally bad poker face, so it's immediately obvious I feel that way.

That said, I think friends are likely to support their friend, rather than a friend's spouse in most situations, including cheating. That's not specific to one sex.

TheBookOfSeil · 2018-02-14T23:00:19+00:00

I don't know where you got the idea that women support other women cheating from that post. I think you're jumping to conclusions too quickly and attempting to fill in the gaps with whatever you want to believe.

(Also, can we stop being unoriginal and piggybacking off of other people for post material? The post quality has been pretty terrible lately.)

[deleted] · 2018-02-15T03:20:55+00:00

Who gives a shit what she thinks? If it's gonna make her mad fine. You can have some angry make up sex about it later.

blackedoutfast · 2018-02-15T05:00:23+00:00

women will never understand the fear of paternity fraud. they always know the child is their child because it came out of their uterus.

possibly you could make an analogy to a woman wanting to see her husband's financial records to make sure he isn't wasting money on a mistress. you're not accusing him of cheating per se and if he isn't doing anything wrong he has nothing to hide right?

goatismycopilot · 2018-02-15T00:23:26+00:00

I guess men would be cool with being micro chipped with some GPS tracker thingy by their insecure GFs because who would be offended by somebody wanting to monitor their every move if they were not cheating? Why would somebody with nothing to hide be so offended by having a GPS micro chip installed? All it would be doing is verifying an innocent man was not cheating. I don't get it.

AutoModerator · 2018-02-14T22:21:17+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Priene · 2018-02-15T10:12:53+00:00

This is true. My female freinds help each other cheat and cover for each other all the time. But then again, so do the men. Monogamy is really not that possible in the Human Kingdom. Just assume every woman is going to cheat on you, and proceed into cheating with every willing woman you are attracted to. Even your girlfriend or wife doesn't cheat on you, at least you'll feel better about yourself because you didn't bother your SO for sex when she had an headache or was on her period.

TheBlackQuill · 2018-02-15T11:01:45+00:00

Squid, most women will take the test regardless whether they are ok with it or not. I personally think women have the right to feel hurt as much as men have the right to feel distrust. People change and men want reassurance just like women want reassurance every time they ask "who do you go out with? Why come home so late?" At very worst I will feel very mildly annoyed heh but did it and look at him with I told you so look :p. If I value marriage very highly, then I wouldnt ruin it just because my future husband ask me for paternity test. I have seen women try to keep their family together for wayyyy worse situation than this lol. It would be ridiculous and selfish if I broke the marriage off because of that.

jackandjill22 · 2018-02-15T18:38:02+00:00

Yes they do. Women support each other than men support each other generally.

Title	Women support other women cheating
Author	squidracer
Upvotes	18
Comments	271
Date	February 14, 2018 10:21 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/7xluyz/women_support_other_women_cheating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-support-other-women-cheating.263598 https://theredarchive.com/post/263598

Comments