Just got back from a great night and thought I’d share a bit of knowledge I picked up this evening. Being sarcastic and negging girls works great. But not always. Even the wittiest, most giggle-inducing lines can spell disaster with the wrong person. Sometimes it’s a lack of security that makes a girl take your quips too seriously, or maybe it’s simply an inability to read your sarcasm. The latter happened to me earlier tonight with the likes of a smoldering HB9 from Morocco. Her English was actually pretty decent, and we got to talking about how guys in Morocco are much more direct with women, and she hates when guys try to play the “game.” Little did she know, the game was on. No later were we back at my place making out in the kitchen. Things are starting to get hot, and (Edit: this is between kisses, while we're feeling each other up) she whispers in my ear:

“I’m so glad I got to come home with you, I was starting to wonder what your house looked like.”

I responded with, “Oh, really? I thought you were just here trying to get in my pants.” with a shit-eating grin on my face.

To my utter surprise, this was the end of our evening together. She ripped herself off of me, stared at me with piercing, furious eyes and yelled, “I am not a fucking slut, you pimp!” Before I could even react to this, she spit in my face, grabbed her shit, and slammed the door. I stood there stock still for about 10 seconds trying to comprehend what the fuck had just happened.

Turns out, sometimes a girl won’t/can’t catch your sarcasm. Even if you think it’s a great line, a language barrier can quickly turn into a cock barrier. Even though it was the first time I had explicitly mentioned sexytimes throughout our interaction, I thought HB9 would take the negging well and it was a good lead-in to more sexual topics.

Turns out I totally crossed her line, offended her, and wouldn’t be seeing her again. I think in most situations that line would’ve worked fine, but I forgot to account for the accent and language barrier. I had noticed earlier in the evening that she was having a hard time getting some of the more humorous or sarcastic things that were said. I had to repeat myself more than a couple of times, and I should have picked up on her taking things I said I literally.

Anyway, we live and we learn, hope this helps you to think twice when I didn’t.