LTR brings up Orbiters in DM's - Shit test

Acceptable_Yam4795 · 2021-08-25T03:11:32+00:00

don't let women clown around with your manhood. lightly joking while she is actively disrespecting you is the wrong approach. shit tests are stuff like her acting mad at you because you don't go shopping with her so she pretends to ignore you. trying to cuck you into a reaction is fucked up, and you should always approach situations like that as if it's rational what they're doing. if you're in a relationship, your chick should not be texting dudes, nor showing you. you allowing it shows her you won't stand up for yourself because it DID bother you enough to make this post. a better response would be to silently get up, and leave the house for a few hours and let that silence, confusion and distance settle in. women play games, but that's also their downfall, they play games with themselves too. don't let unacceptable behavior slide.

Hard-Truth7 · 2021-08-25T03:49:02+00:00

Like the other guys have said, the only way to really handle this whe keeping your mental state positive and not disrespecting yourself and entering her frame, is if you were truly ok to her leaving, she’s not yours it’s just your turn. Basically, yeah tell her “go for it,” “cool have fun hanging out with him.” Then, proceed to blow her off and extremely withdraw attention, and hang out with your guy friends and other girls. Basically give her a nuclear shit test where you’re out late hanging with other girls all the time. Make her cry. She’ll break down and get jealous and be a mess. You want to make her be the one to be like, “no that’s not ok for us to be doing, it’s not ok for us to be hanging out with other people who want to fuck us.”

She shouldn’t be texting people who want to fuck her and entertaining them and rubbing it in your face. Super disrespectful. You have to let her go and mentally move on from her. Otherwise you’ll basically be giving her an ultimatum (stop texting that guy. “Or what?” (Or we are done obviously). “Ugh ok fine”) And she’ll get super bitchy and basically things will get miserable for you.

By doing what I described in the first paragraph, you are satisfying her hypergamy by showing her that she is the lucky one and you are the prize, and she better seriously cut the shit and be grateful of your presence in her life, or else you are gone. Why would you put up with someone like that? She is getting complacent and she’s acting like an entitled spoiled little brat.

Also on a personal note you obviously want to be following trp principles. You should be better than that other guy. Ideally want to be more jacked and cooler (social circle and life) and better in bed, so internally you are at peace that if she strays over to his bitch ass she will be severely underwhelmed cause you truly are the prize. You are the prize she needs to work hard to lock down and right now she is being entitled.

Crusty_Jizzsock · 2021-08-25T03:58:58+00:00

If she's trying to trigger your jealousy then don't give her what she wants, it's probably best to fuck her off. I would first tell her that this is quite disrespectful to you, if she doesn't seem to care about that or get it, then you need to dump her. If she doesn't get it or care then she never will.

This is not normal shit testing, it's a huge red flag and I wouldn't put up with an LTR for a girl doing these kinds of shit tests to trigger your mate-guarding. It's incredibly disrespectful.

The danger of the redpill is that guys will accept too much of the shitty side of women as normal. I see it in this comment section. Certain things you can expect from all women such as Hypergamy and shit tests. You can't escape that. But this degree of shit test is beyond what's acceptable.

asmodeus_guru · 2021-08-25T04:04:03+00:00

My ltr of 2 years started dating her "best friend" because I was always calm and cool about it. She did say they were "just friends" so I trusted her :) Bottom line is, it's her duty to keep the sharks away. You can't really blame men cause let's face facts. She shouldn't even give them an in.

red_blood_cells · 2021-08-25T01:34:57+00:00

maintain frame. don't spill and voice concern.

entertain her entertaining of the text as if you are a neutral party.

when she calls him cute, ask for a picture and agree with her (whether he is cute or not).

if you (lightly) encourage her, she will wonder why you aren't insecure which makes you more attractive to her.

she is not yours, it is just your turn.

SuspiciousOp · 2021-08-25T01:56:48+00:00

ltr.

5 months.

next.

the best thing you can do is find 5 others to replace her and give her the next few nights to see how quickly she runs off to her little fuckboy. i guarantee she won’t be crying over you if she’s still entertaining orbiters in your face. i would had said cool. so what are you going to do about it. and no matter what her reaction or response was next her. take away attention completely. she’s digging for a response and you are playing right into it. words aren’t shit. actions count. send her packing and she will straighten up if she’s worth keeping around and if not fb her and find someone who is. don’t waste your time on these dusty ass hoes that are going to be keeping orbiters around in a ltr and tossing that up in your face. don’t you have any self respect? don’t tolerate that.

Professional-Fee1598 · 2021-08-25T05:52:47+00:00

This is beyond your average shit test. That’s a blatant sign of disrespect right there. I would’ve no contacted her after this encounter. No explanation, nothing. She thinks she can’t be replaced? Fuck that b*tch. So not worth the headache.

cluelessguitarist · 2021-08-25T03:30:40+00:00

My ltr of 5 months......dude thats not an ltr.

DerekMorganBAU · 2021-08-25T02:33:18+00:00

"Oh, is that what we're doing now?"

"Aight"

And go text random bitches.

Either she'll stop entertaining the orbiters or she'll keep doing it in secret. Either way it's a win and don't stop entertaining bitches because obviously it's on the table now.

simbuah · 2021-08-25T04:50:46+00:00

Demote her to a plate or just drop her if she is actually flirting with other dudes.

SteveSan82 · 2021-08-25T06:36:42+00:00

Dump her and move on. She’s low value and a ho

atifhere · 2021-08-25T08:06:02+00:00

Relationships are not like pickup games. Every bad behaviour is not a shit test. She was genuinely liking the guy approaching her on DM and now she is paving a safe path to swing. By telling you and seeing you are ok with it, she is bringing the new guy in her life without losing all the investment from you. If things with new guy won't work, she would still have you. Thats why she is playing this game. Not to test how chill you are.
People here cope with disrespect by saying that it was just a nuclear shit test, and it's something they have to pass. Be a man and convey to her that her behaviour is disrespectful that will make you leave her in no time. And give her a demo that you are completely capable of doing that.

godsbestgift · 2021-08-25T01:51:58+00:00

why wait til the lockdown ends, go enjoy one of them now. idm rly just leave my house, i'll just hit up the next bitch and see if she knows how to act right. top comment saying maintain frame but if shes done it before and is doing it again, your frame is already weak. she is actively abusing you and you allow it to happen. i'm a big fan of being somewhat emotionally abusive. if i'm the one who plays the games, shes the one who reacts

strikethrough123 · 2021-08-25T04:13:53+00:00

She is not your LTR. This is unacceptable behavior for an LTR. You demote her and go fuck other girls. Hell, girls that I simply plate wouldn’t even THINK of bringing up bullshit like that.

She was communicating to you that she can and will go fuck other guys whenever she feels like it.. LTR my ass.

PurpleManufacturer94 · 2021-08-25T06:07:58+00:00

If you're dating somebody and they do stupid shit like that end it. You're wasting your time bro. All women are lovely. Not all women are worth investing your time in them.

Shit tests are the big fuckin elephant in the room that screams "I'm not worth the investment". Make your reputation standard where you have zero tolerance for dumb shit like that. If a girl is truly interested in you she won't do dumb shit like that. Instead she'll be interested in getting to know you. Figuring out what your pleasures are and focus on You entirely.

4ktx · 2021-08-25T08:27:12+00:00

"let me know so I can download tinder again"

or call her out

"are you trying got make me jealous? stop playing with me"

or

Just blatantly ignore it

Bro I don't play with no shit test.

El0vution · 2021-08-25T01:54:53+00:00

I often hope my girl would cheat on me so I could break up with her and fuck other girls. I almost welcome her cheating. And I certainly expect it one day. Anyway this attitude keeps me completely outcome dependent. I never get jealous. She says “you are a 0 of out 10 when it comes to jealousy.” She loves telling her friends that I never get jealous of her. I guess it makes me seem super confident. How do I react when she shit-tests me with stupid stuff like that? I tell her to go for it. Also, I joke around a lot with her about my “other girlfriends” whenever it comes up organically. I probably do that more than she shit-tests me. She loves it.

319Skew · 2021-08-25T02:50:23+00:00

Asktrp has moved. Should be a post about that.

Anyway, assuming that this post stays long enough to read...

You and everyone need to cut down on this LTR for X weeks/months. I honestly believe that you shouldn't call her LTR until you've spent at least 6 months vetting her while spinning plates.

People here seem to rush into trying to get a girl which from a trp perspective is like a bird rushing into a cage.

Second, ask yourself if she's chasing you, looking for comfort or shit testing you.

If she's shit testing you and bringing in drama then pull back. That means that she is losing her spot on your roster.

You trying to work the game in her frame is just stupid.

She can test boundaries but her crossing any line is a next.

In short:

Her fomo regarding losing you > her desire for new dick.

When the script is flipped, you end up getting dumped, or cheated on.

mrpthrowa · 2021-08-25T12:12:39+00:00

'i'll probably hang out with him after lockdown'

What a fucking clown of a woman. Tell her she should do that now, and kick her out. You as a man don't have time for these shenanigans.

acos12 · 2021-08-25T02:28:37+00:00

a girl that shittests me on the level as OP mentions is out the door same minute. And you find out after 5 months? Sounds like you failed a few prior tests pal..

Cochinchina · 2021-08-25T05:25:06+00:00

From this point on just know that this ain't a serious relationship. A woman who is serious would not be exchanging numbers with multiple men and then telling you about it to rile you up.

I would downgrade her privileges considerably. Revoke all affection, only invite her over to bang, keep conversation to a minimum.

Singularity_chess · 2021-08-25T06:30:59+00:00

She is feelig insecure and wants to signal high SMV to you by reporting she is sought after.

while this is a behaviour that is understandable, actively chatting with them is a first strike out of 3 before shes gone, nit because you want to teach her a lesson, but because you want loyalty in a relationship. it's not personal to her. I think this is a message she should understand

myzt · 2021-08-25T07:16:46+00:00

She wants you to marry her.

d3g4d0 · 2021-08-25T09:02:11+00:00

Reduce contact for a little while. If it falls apart, who cares. If it doesn't, she'll have learned her lesson. If she does it again after that I'd probably let her go

SeasonedRP · 2021-08-25T10:59:45+00:00

If other girls were texting you, this wouldn't have happened. Don't tell her other women are interested in you. Let her see that for herself. Talk to other girls. Younger women especially need to see you have options and that they aren't your sole opportunity for sex.

TravisScottNL · 2021-08-25T12:34:16+00:00

There’s a difference between shit testing and disrespect lmao.

“Are you still with the guy?”

“I’ll probably hang out with him after lockdown”

She’s just warning you 😂.

And also another thing, your girl being “lovely” and “caring” doesn’t mean shit if she’s behaving like this. If she was a plate okay but LTR is no jokes my guy.

i-am-the-prize · 2021-08-25T13:46:39+00:00

women have automatic abundance. you know this. when a woman Dreads you, it's a "nuclear shit test" and can only be met with either:

1) immediate demotion

2) if you think she may simply be dumb/ignorant, a boundary statement and enforcement

#1 is obvious, kick her out of your bed and go fuck other women

#2, state: "when I'm in an LTR, I do not DM people who have, or have had, feelings for me and I expect the same behavior from my GF" then STFU

if she says ANYTHING other than, "hmm, ok, you're right, i'll cut them off" simply BROKEN RECORD.
example unacceptable responses:
- "dont' you trust me?"
- "if you were more XXX this wouldn't bother you"
- "we're just friends"

again, you're stating a boundary. You're not giving an Ultimatum ("stop dm'ing or i'll dump you!" you're simply stating expectations of what it takes to be/stay your GF. she can either comply or get kicked to the curb.

so in summary:

1) state your boundaries

2) Enforce your boundaries

vild2r · 2021-08-25T02:22:51+00:00

"You should totally setup with that cute guy, come here Ill give you a few pointers to flirt with him."

bassman_gio · 2021-08-25T02:20:46+00:00

Do you think that she's looking for a ring? It sounds like I want to get engaged shit test. She saying that there are potential replacements out there if you don't step up to something.. 5 months is way too soon for this shenanigans.

Pharmaki · 2021-08-25T08:09:58+00:00

Watch out. If it feels like the LTR is too good to be true and this is starting to come up she might have BPD. If that is the case, it is time to GTFO. Believe me.

SalesAficionado · 2021-08-25T02:43:34+00:00

Dude just join www.forums.red and ask your question there. Everyone should join before Reddit bomb this subreddit.

sabanMiles11 · 2021-08-25T04:27:05+00:00

People are saying lightly agree and amplify. Nope. Wrong. You do that with short term or new relationships. Not LTR. Your frame here is actually the something like the following: "You pull this shit again and we are done. I voluntarily dont hang out with other women even though I can. You can do the same by not voluntarily hanging out with other men."

With that being said, that only works if she knows you can fuck. You cant assert your frame like this if you actually have no negotiating power and cant go out and actually fuck like you say. People will say that its "beta" to do this. It is if youre bluffing. Thats why its important to not have a "oneitis" (ie you literally cant get laid and she is your only hope for an LTR) and to be able to get a girlfriend immediately if this one doesnt work out. She pulls these tiny tests now. They will only get worse if you play into them

BigBoiBahmani · 2021-08-25T03:40:34+00:00

5 months is not LTR, retard.

She is just fucking around with you.

No ounce of frame. No nothing. Stfu and go read about mental point of origin you dumbass fuck.

She is not that important.

catsdontsmile · 2021-08-25T03:03:06+00:00

Id draw focus away from it. You're paying it too much attention by talking about these orbiters and she keeps bringing them up. Just nod and be like uh huh without paying her more attention and do your own shit

Hard-Truth7 · 2021-08-25T03:39:48+00:00

Really wish they hadn’t locked asktrp I much prefer it to trp.red

AvailableRow1791 · 2021-08-25T05:37:15+00:00

Lovely, one of my close friends LTR goes into tantrums now every often as they still have no kids: "You know I am wanted by other guys, they have the ring prepared if you don't cherish me". But other than that she is a keeper in many ways, yet had tough childhood and still has deep insecurities at 30. His job and his burden.

While in your case I see no point to let her act like that - this sounds like a less than 23yo girl that still tries child games and was an easy lay. Act like a man around her and don't tolerate such a behavior, if you like her as such a BS is not even cool - if she does that around your friends will you make feel good - oh honey, I like this guy, might let him fuck me as he is cute. You'll be the laughing stock of the group for months. Sleep with her, but don't set her as LTR with such attitude - agree and amplify - yeah you can meet him, but how about you set me up with your girlfriend as she seems cute as well.

Salty-Application-97 · 2021-08-25T07:25:31+00:00

She is yours now. We never know what will happen next but now she is your. It may happen that you will be together your whole life, it may also happen that she won't be there in a wee. Be strong and fuck the hell out of her

BasilevsNihili · 2021-08-25T08:00:54+00:00

You should have set a hard boundary. If a woman is your 'LTR' she ought to NOT be talking to other men actively and obiously trying to fuck her.

Optionsmfd · 2021-08-25T09:42:43+00:00

men and women cant b friends.........

if yall are exclusive she should NOT b conversating with other men period

borisss358 · 2021-08-25T10:51:17+00:00

Mature guys u need to mature seriously

4everrekt · 2021-08-25T11:25:25+00:00

I would pull back and allocate more time to my goals. Like, what possible positive outcome would her actions result in?

I think it’s likely that you haven’t properly communicated your standards and boundaries. Either that or your values are misaligned with hers.

If you were esteemed in her eyes, she would be trying with all her effort to keep you and wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize your relationship/bond.

The fact that she feels comfortable bringing up another guy to you indicates either she’s goofy af, or to her you’re just some guy she’s with til she meets someone she actually respects.

Sharmanix · 2021-08-25T12:14:26+00:00

Agree and amplify (Let's invite him over for a threesome/ Awesome I've been texting this chick as well) or ingnore. Clowing around and using sarcasm doesn't send out as strong a message but it's a world away from where I would be, loosing my shit and all that.

scioba1005 · 2021-08-25T12:31:15+00:00

Read an amazing post this morning out of the 1000 most upvoted TRP posts. It was about shit tests. There was an example that matches your exact situation in my view. I would give credit were due, but couldn't find the post, nor the author. Applicable to LTR, plates, wives:

"[Some guy] was hitting on me today"

Translation: Do you get jealous?

Response: "Is he seriously cheating on me?" / "He must have been hammered" / "Do you want me to drop you off at his house?"

Out of all, I find the last one epic, composed, showing an indestructible frame.

jhx264 · 2021-08-25T13:28:45+00:00

Tried and true: "My girlfriend wouldn't be [doing xyz]." Let her know she ain't your girlfriend anymore if she does any of that bullshit. As a matter of fact she should be deleting her social media apps that open the gates to this kind of attention.

Would you leave your Ferrari in the city unlocked? No? Then why would your girlfriend be letting herself be "unlocked" on social media?

gjfarma · 2021-08-25T13:38:44+00:00

That's not a shit test, that's a pissing contest. She's left you no avenues to win here within the rules of LTR. If this was some hoe, you could probably ignore it if you wanted to keep banging her - and this would work. Within an LTR there are boundaries of respect and this is transparently beyond that.

Block and delete. She's not worth any more of your time.

jjj2576 · 2021-08-25T13:56:04+00:00

“When he buys you dinner, tell him to buy something I’d like too.”

MomentSpecialist2020 · 2021-08-25T03:23:12+00:00

Agree and amplify!!! “I bet he’s cute and has a big one, let’s have a threesome! “

MAFiA_79 · 2021-08-25T09:36:52+00:00

Tell her you lose attraction when she keeps shit testing. Find your own words for it. You will get rid of her anyway because you can't have someone in your life messing with your mental health. Telling her the effect on your attraction level is a warning sign for her. If she doesn't get the memo get rid of this bitch. Ghost and disappear is the only thing they understand. Remember most women are agents of chaos. Don't let chaos rule your life. Ignore the words they throw at you after you made a decision.

_pacjax · 2021-08-25T11:08:15+00:00

Bro put an end to that shit immediately in a respectful way. You need to let her know to not bring up other men to you

disagree with not letting an ltr have orbiters, every girl needs orbiters or she'll start constantly seeking validation from you and will tell all her lifes problems to YOU instead of them.

thingsjusthappened · 2021-08-25T11:30:26+00:00

5 Months is an LTR these days? Well shit I must be getting old!

This isn't even a shit test, more like a "I just want you to fuck up in front of me so I can move on already" test.

My response to "He's cute" would have been a very serious "Then go out with him."

Then I would bring up the subject of why the guy even has her number. If she can't give a functional reason why other than "its for fun" or some shit, drop her and move on right there and then.

Title	LTR brings up Orbiters in DM's - Shit test
Author	butmuhgains
Upvotes	112
Comments	135
Date	August 25, 2021 1:23 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/pb0z84/ltr_brings_up_orbiters_in_dms_shit_test/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/ltr-brings-up-orbiters-in-dms-shit-test.1064876 https://theredarchive.com/post/1064876

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