Has your female friends drifted apart once they got a boyfriend?

NoMarriageNoKids · 2021-10-28T06:03:49+00:00

As a guy I can attest that even guys drift off up their girl's ass after getting in a relationship. Then, when the relationship ends they're back with the boys. So, I'd say it's pretty universal.

AreOut · 2021-10-28T05:26:20+00:00

it happened both with male and female friends, especially after they got married

while I absolutely understand they prioritize their partner I find it a bit disrespectful not to send a simple message or even answer to mine for months

I mean you could at least write "sorry I really don't have time for hanging out like I had before" or something similar.

also it can get quite awkward when those "friends" break up and then need me again...

deste_eloise · 2021-10-28T04:59:07+00:00

Out of all my female friends, perhaps 25% have completely drifted apart when they started dating someone new.

The reason was most often that they adopted the entire personalities of their partners and followed them everywhere. 🤷🏼‍♀️ once they broke up they tried to crawl back, but no thanks really..

redheadbeauty15 · 2021-10-28T06:04:07+00:00

They don't just do this to male friends but female too, My friend recently got into a relationship for well over 2 years now and she is blindly one sided, can't talk or take interest in anything outside the relationship, self centred, basically there's no friendship I'm just a wall she talks to about her boyfriend. I gave her a lot of slack for 6 months honeymoon period I expected but I ended the friendship because it was worthless to me.

I don't like people who do things like this it's a sign of poor character to me, i have plenty of friends I hardly see but when we do see each-other the quality is there, with her the quality completely disintegrated. to be fair though she was self centred before.

CFinCanada · 2021-10-28T11:23:18+00:00

Yes and no.

It happens during the honeymoon period, but they come back.

If they have children then it's over. A baby shower sendoff and then never see them again, basically.

Luckily, it has never been easier to make new friends.

Creation_Soul · 2021-10-28T08:06:58+00:00

i don't think this is a gendered thing. On my end, I have seen about 25% of people of both genders drift apart from the social groups they were part of as they got in a relationship.

For the other 75%, in the initial "honeymoon phase" where they just entered the relationship there was some temporary "drifting", but that was normal as the new couple got to know eachother better by spending time together more, but after a while they got back in the social circle and also brought their new partner in.

simeneta_two · 2021-10-28T05:51:09+00:00

I had one friend who did this. It was super fucking annoying too because she would always talk about how it sucked when women lost touch with their friends after getting a bf, then AS SOON AS SHE GOT ONE she was impossible to contact.

Fortunately the majority of my female friends are not like this. I have multiple friends who are well past the “boyfriend” stage (ie married, some with children) and they’re still good about keeping in contact regularly.

Flightlessbirbz · 2021-10-28T11:24:37+00:00

I’ve noticed the opposite, that my guy “friends” disappeared when I had a boyfriend. Not completely, just around enough to be waiting around the corner after we broke up. I came to understand that most men do not really want to be friends with women without the possibility of sex, and when that sex probability isn’t high enough at any given time, they’re not interested in the friendship.

Now of course, whenever someone gets into a relationship, they may start to neglect all their friends male or female. This tends to be worse with teen and early 20s girls who are having their first serious boyfriends they’re totally obsessed with. As you get older, you realize how important the other people in your life are and that your partner can’t be everything.

superlurkage · 2021-10-28T06:04:13+00:00

It’s a personal choice, not a gender based behavior

chalkandapples · 2021-10-28T05:22:25+00:00

This is worded like a question to men. But most of my friends dip out a bit right after they get a bf. This is totally normal and we support that. After all, the new relationship is still new and needs her attention. Our friendship is already very stable and strong, so it makes sense for her to focus more of her energy towards developing this new relationship. After a while, once the relationship is stronger and she can act fully natural and comfortable around her bf, she tend to give more time and attention to the friend group.

It's worth to note that as we grow up, naturally we have more responsibilities and less time for friends. We probably won't really convert back to college days where we hang out every day and night and study together all the time. But that's normal, it's a part of growing up and branching out.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2021-10-28T05:49:32+00:00

Funny the last time this happened I was probably in high school

At most they have a bit less time so we go out slightly less but that's to be expected as we reach 30.

Theres a couple thst got pregnant recently and we're still in touch. It just means that they show up once a month or once every two months instead of every couple of weeks.

klauskinki · 2021-10-28T11:16:18+00:00

No, never. In my country most girls are kinda obsessed with the idea to look/be indipendent

cloudnymphe · 2021-10-28T12:15:25+00:00

From what I’ve noticed, regardless of gender the people who drop their friends when they get into a new relationship usually tend to be the codependent types, the ones who are obsessive about love and are hopeless romantics. People who are more balanced and independent don’t tend to neglect their platonic relationships as much even if they might focus more on a new boyfriend/girlfriend in the beginning of the relationship.

Feisty-Saturn · 2021-10-28T12:24:02+00:00

This happens with both female and male guys. If you’re in a relationship you have a new person in your life that is going to take up time. To give them the time you have to take time from other things/people that were in your life prior.

zyramain69 · 2021-10-28T13:37:51+00:00

I talked to my married and non married male friends almost everyday, female friends ghost in and out whenever

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2021-10-28T17:11:31+00:00

Think it happens with both genders.
If you are in a relationship , working full time , childern possibly from other relationships/ situations . You really don't have time for personal friends daily. Unless maybe they are in the same stage of life ?!? Daily life and priorities change. If you're in a serious Happy relationship you're not worried about going out living the night life, and hanging out with your friends daily, you're going to stay home and be with your family / significant other. Especially after working. Most outings will be family orientated with like-minded individuals. This is my experience anyways.

_mwk · 2021-10-28T19:51:15+00:00

I'm a girl and yes, we've had many MANY conflicts about it. it's mostly getting sucked up in the fun of a new relationship and wanting to be with them 24/7 and thus skipping time with friends. she gets better once we call her out on it though, that's why I believe it's not exactly intentional. she's been with the same guy for 2-3 years and every now and then they get new "honeymoon" periods and they spend every waking hour together for like a couple of weeks and her texting gets significantly lower every time lol

towerofcheeeeza · 2021-10-29T07:19:05+00:00

It's not really a gendered thing imo. When people get into relationships they just generally have less time and energy to direct towards other relationships. Personally, my boyfriend is my boyfriend but he's also my best friend, so to be honest, watching movies and going to concerts with him is more fun than friends a lot of the time. I still make an effort to text friends regularly, wish happy birthday, schedule plans, etc. but I can also understand why people would choose to prioritize time with their significant other if they have limited weekends etc. I have male and female friends who I still keep regular contact with and I wouldn't say I treat my male friends differently than my female ones, even after I started dating.

rilakkumkum · 2021-10-30T03:18:43+00:00

I’m female but it’s one of the many reasons I fucking struggle to keep female friend specifically. I usually can’t relate anyways because all of my hobbies are heavily male dominated.

Even if I find a girl with the same interests, if they have a boyfriend than it’s a wrap, because almost ALL of their time and attention goes towards him. They only want to spend time with him. They only want to mention him in every single convo.

Losvadanya · 2021-11-01T08:32:41+00:00

Nope Not really

AngelxEyez · 2021-10-28T19:55:13+00:00

I’m 24f in a relationship and my best friend is a dude.

I still hangout with him, just not 1 on 1 anymore, tho that actually changed when he got a gf many months before I got a bf

They live together now, so ill go hangout with the two of them, or my bf will come and the 4 of us do movie nights.

My best friend and I do text and send each other memes daily, and call each other if we are upset or whatever still

AutoModerator · 2021-10-28T04:51:53+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

SaBahRub · 2021-10-28T15:49:58+00:00

Maybe when we were in school

Adults usually learn adulting

michael1962-01 · 2021-10-29T06:58:46+00:00

Actually - as a real man never befriend woman. That is the way of a pussy.

Title	Has your female friends drifted apart once they got a boyfriend?
Author	Mark_Freed
Upvotes	11
Comments	42
Date	October 28, 2021 4:51 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/qhf9vz/has_your_female_friends_drifted_apart_once_they/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/has-your-female-friends-drifted-apart-once-they.1081411 https://theredarchive.com/post/1081411

Comments