NEVER EVER assume that you’re the exception to the rule.

2340000 · 2021-12-09T12:36:12+00:00

This is why men immediately barrage us with sob stories where they're always the victim.

Who benefits from revealing that his ex was unstable with mental health issues? That she was controlling and wouldn't let him see his friends? He does!

He's triangulating you with someone you don't know hoping you'll compete to be "better" than her.

Mcccy · 2021-12-09T13:02:37+00:00

When men are hurt by ONE woman they put us ALL in the same category. All women cheat/are gold-diggers/Sl#ts/etc

No matter what you do you won't change this mindset, that's a job for his therapist not you

Muffcakelord · 2021-12-09T12:05:05+00:00

Quick everyone print this list and hang it up in your bathroom so you never forget

hensbanex · 2021-12-09T12:26:28+00:00

handbook worthy post. I wish my younger self had read this, would have saved me a ton of grief.

ennu_i_sao · 2021-12-09T14:25:14+00:00

Tbh I wish I would’ve listened to my mom when she told me not to believe all the stories a man tells me. While we’re still trying to unlearn pickmeism together, there are definitely nuggets of wisdom she has given me.

LadyLevelUp · 2021-12-09T15:12:03+00:00

Ugh, my best friend is a fixer and gets caught in these traps often. Her relationships don't last very long because she throws herself in headlong and gives way too much way too fast and it's clear they take her for granted and don't value her effort. I just want to tell her that, "you're not that special different one, sis. You're not the one he's gonna clean up for. He's gonna stay the same and you're going to believe he'll be better and he'll waste your time." It's not your job to fix a man; if they ain't fixed, they won't work on it for you.

Emergency-Feed8216 · 2021-12-09T14:27:12+00:00

They complain about other women to "train" you and groom you to eat shit. It's also a hubris trap to make you pickme-dance and compete with those hussies from his past.

I loved Natalie Portman's list of steps to support women from her speech at the Women's Awards on behalf of Time's Up. Step 4 was to "Stop the rhetoric that a woman is crazy or difficult. If a man says to you that a woman is crazy or difficult, ask him, ‘What bad thing did you do to her?’”

Edit: posted too soon.

riseaboveagain · 2021-12-09T17:29:03+00:00

Yes. He was an angry, miserable person, but it was okay! I was a balanced person full of happiness and would use it to heal him. Did I heal him? No. He simply stole my happiness and it took time and a therapist to get it back.

I’ll never make that mistake again

Determinedblonde · 2021-12-09T16:43:32+00:00

One of my exes claimed every girl before me had dumped him for pity.

Not true. He treated them like cr*p, performed the slow fade and waited until they dumped him.

FineDeliciousSnakes · 2021-12-09T15:16:24+00:00

This is a great post. So many awful experiences would have been avoided if the young me was taught this!!

gingerandlime · 2021-12-09T16:01:14+00:00

Yes. Whatever it is that he says about past women in his life, he will MAKE SURE that you become that as well.

charikloinleo · 2021-12-09T12:02:45+00:00

This is brilliant and so true. We want to be special so bad and expect men to "change" for us. We have to recognize our responsibility in this type of situations as well. Saviour complex + victim mentality = Narcissistic enabler and also not cute. I'm sure we can all do better. Add this to the handbook, MODs!!

xfelugirlx · 2021-12-09T20:00:34+00:00

You are 100% right, i used to believe when they said “my ex was crazy” and then when i was the ex i understand everything, he was the narcissist piece of sht and feel empathy for the other women. They know how to try to convince us into being always with them no matter what (a lot of trauma bonding telling us their traumas early on).

Don’t let them fool you, you deserve better

2021-12-10T00:51:15+00:00

Notice how they play on romantic comedy tropes of you being the magical woman who cHaNgEd hIm. Nah sis. That’s the culture grooming you. He’s a shitty person ,because he IS a shitty person and will continue to be a shitty person regardless of your interference.

pinkgirly111 · 2021-12-13T12:32:47+00:00

never tell men your trauma.

Throwawaylikehay · 2022-01-22T06:17:35+00:00

Same happened to me. My first relationship. I went crazy, even 5 years after the breakup trying to process why he dumped me. How could he be so cold? Why couldn’t he forgive me? Why couldn’t he trust me? Man. Fuck him.

I loathed myself. I blamed myself. I begged God that I could even be back with him. Five fucking years of trauma over a relationship that only lasted a little more than a year. Completely NC too.

I am fucking free now. He hurt me so badly, and still, I SURVIVED.

Title	NEVER EVER assume that you’re the exception to the rule.
Author	bullshitextinguisher
Upvotes	880
Comments	40
Date	December 9, 2021 8:06 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/rcd1t3/never_ever_assume_that_youre_the_exception_to_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/never-ever-assume-that-youre-the-exception-to-the.1087831 https://theredarchive.com/post/1087831

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