Am I ever supposed to say anything about the annoying stuff my wife does?

ragnar_Daneskjold · 2022-01-07T18:22:48+00:00

Ok, here's what you got to do. YOU ARE GOING TO BE AMAZED HOW YOU CAN TURN ALL OF THIS AROUND!

1st - get your wife a gym membership. She needs physical activity to be happy and productive. This will get her to focus on herself more and hopefully stop wasting time on her phone.

2nd - get her setup with a reddit account. She will need to read this first, then this, this, and this. (sounds like maybe she's already read WISNIFG but another go around never hurts).

3rd - Once she starts to Own Her Shit regularly and she's posting some good numbers from the gym, you're going to need to buy her one of these.

Be patient. For her to change her ways it's going to take time. It's going to take about 1 month for every year you've been married before she gives you the feelz and tingles you desire so badly.

RStonePT · 2022-01-07T18:26:04+00:00

For everyone of your questions it only shows how little you understand any of this.

if you knew what a boundary was you'd know micromanagement wasn't the issue. Boundaries are about what you will put up with, not what you demand of other people, how do you micromanage yourself?

Had you looked why communication is not a sound strategy here, you'd already know the answer was to act, not to communicate.

Why men and women are different. You keep treating your wife like she's a dude with tits and then get angry when she acts like a woman. Go suck a dick if thats what you want,

AcademicDumbass · 2022-01-07T19:32:58+00:00

leaving shut lay around right after or as I’m cleaning up

Get a laundry basket. Every time she leaves something lying around, grab it, shoot it, and yell “Kobe!” as it goes in. Every few days, empty the waste basket into the trash bin outside.

redwall92 · 2022-01-07T17:56:32+00:00

My wife is on her phone less than she used to be when around me ... sometimes. Depends on her mood. Depends on my mood. Depends on whatever.

The MO I've adapted is something like this....

When I initiate with my wife to talk about something, or if she is trying to talk with me about something ... doesn't matter who initiated the convo ... just assume a convo has been initiated .... if she picks up her phone like it's more important than the person she's face to face with (ie. me), then I drop the convo and go do the next thing on my list. I'm not a dick about it. I give a small pause, a visual pause, a bit of time to make sure I'm seeing things correctly, and then I act according to my values.

This is the way I want to live. The person in front of me is more important than the person on the phone or the text or the facebook. This is life. Sure ... if I'm on a phone call, I don't simply drop the phone if somebody walks up in person and wants to talk with me. But if I'm in person with somebody, I don't respond to every phone call or text notification immediately. The person face-to-face is more important IMO.

I act this way myself. I expect those around me to act similar.

If somebody deems their phone more important than my time when face-to-face, then I use my time as I see fit elsewhere. My time is worth more than a simple 'yeah, nod, uhuh' response while your fiddling with your phone. Wife, kid, boss, ... whoever. I'm only in charge of my time, after all.

Verbal intercourse is optional, and you can have your standards to engage in it. Sexual intercourse can be viewed the same way.

Would you fuck your wife while she was fiddling on her phone? Ie - starfish to the max? Maybe you would. Maybe your standards are so low that you would.

Same for verbal interactions. My time is valuable. This is one way I exude that.

Rifleshoot · 2022-01-07T17:26:55+00:00

Asking if you are "supposed" to do something is part of the problem. It reflects your mindset. You are looking for another man or woman to tell you what to do. What do you want to do? Do you want to say something about the annoying stuff your wife does? Or is it inconsequential to you? So much of this is about learning to be your own frame of reference for your own behavior.

The point of STFU is to keep you from saying something stupid while you get yourself in order. You lift, you do the reading, you start learning to develop frame, and you don't try to rock the boat at home (yet). The goal, however, is to get to the point where you don't STFU and you begin being the man that you want to be.

SteelSharpensSteel · 2022-01-08T01:23:56+00:00

For all the guys tuning in, this is why frame and the basics are important.

StarsandStripes702 · 2022-01-07T19:47:45+00:00

This isn't an issue with boundaries. She's not emasculating you to your face in public or slapping you around. It sounds like you're still putting your wife on a pedestal dude. And you're definitely still in her frame. You're seeing her as an equal or above you in intellect, intelligence, self discipline, domestication, or work ethic. That's a big mistake. She got you, you've been lured into her show. You respect her opinion, take her input, and get validation from her. It took me a long time to realize women aren't naturally like men in ability or intellect. It's the brainwashing of feminism infecting you. And probably her gaslighting you into believing she's competent and her opinion should be respected. Throw that shit out of your head now. I did and I finally see my wife for the low IQ, immature, emotional, incompetent little girl she really is. But that's exactly what made me love her even more. Her weak feminine side is more fun and more appealing to me now than trying to make her masculine and capable and rational like me. As a result I know the right buttons to push now to get what I really need from her. But you gotta take one on the chin every once in a while and keep smiling, not cry on r/askMRP about it.

Are you the Alpha in your house, the one who does everything the best, or do you want your wife to be in charge? STFU and stop being attracted to the image of a rational, calm, powerful and capable woman. That's what the feminist propaganda wants you to believe exists and wants you to desire. Reject it and embrace a different archetype of a woman. One that is incompetent, makes mistakes, needs reminders, and is basically inferior in almost every way. Lower your expectations and stop bitching and moaning. It's only turning her off and keeping her on guard around you, checked out because she's not good enough at things she hates doing. I bet you're doing half of the chores that you are because she's not doing them, right? She's gotten used to you doing it and has no respect for what you're doing because you nag her so much like a broad and do it yourself anyways. Here's some advice: STFU, tie yourself to the squat rack for a year, and let the place fall apart. So there's some laundry and dirty dishes piling up? You think anyone gives a fuck? If your wife is anything like mine her natural instincts will kick in after a few months and she'll start doing chores out of nowhere. You won't be responsible for them anymore. You clearly hate them but you can't be the man and do your own thing and stop yourself. My wife never loaded a dishwasher, ran a vacuum, or mopped the floor in her life until people (me) stopped doing it for her. Compliment her like the insecure 6yr old girl she really is inside and see what happens. A little positive reinforcement never hurt. But don't go creating some covert contract expecting to get laid because you said 'good job' after she swept the kitchen.

Deep down my wife knows I'm more capable and smart and productive than she could ever dream of being, but she's never going to admit it out loud. That would damage her fragile little ego. Won't stop her from trying to gaslight me into seeing her as successful, smart, powerful and all of that shit though. Gotta work hard to see the real girl in your house not the one she's convincing you exists. I'm the prize. I wear the pants here. I take the brunt of the responsibilities. I am the provider. To be the provider requires me to be better than her in almost every way except taking care of my kids. I don't want that job anyways. Me berating her and nagging her like a fucking sitcom wife because she isn't cleaning enough and helping me according to my standards isn't a good look on me as a man. And it doesn't do shit to get her performing better or more attracted to me. Remember those bullshit sitcoms where the strong dominant wife nags and berates the hapless idiot husband into doing more chores to keep up with her standards of cleanliness? Congratulations on becoming that woman. And you're surprised when your girl checks out on her phone instead of listening to you and doesn't value your contributions? SMH. You're about as successful at attracting your wife to you as Peg Bundy when she wants Al to give her the D.

Realize your wife has limitations because of how inept she is because she's a woman and lower your standards. Or go get yourself a feminist to power through the to-do list with you according to your standards. She might not shave her pussy or leave dishes lying around, but she'll probably let you lick her feet when you're done cleaning the toilet.

thisisme0007 · 2022-01-07T17:25:54+00:00

Why did you leave out your weight, BF, and lifts?

Irishtrauma · 2022-01-07T21:07:13+00:00

It’s hard to teach open mindedness, willingness and humility. Someone harping on me for shit they themselves are guilty of is a red flag. It’s a fine line sometimes between remaining unflappably calm, providing ample grace and simping. Marrying that balance I think is the true mastery of MGTOW. You have the right to be respected and treated well. If she’s not giving you the time of day or ignoring your concerns you’ve maturely addressed then sometimes pain is the only motivator. How much pain are you willing to endure before you say enough is enough. I said enough and we split. She realized she was being a child and changed. I had no anticipation of getting back together, I wasn’t calling her bluff. Over time we fell in love again and have a relationship that’s better in ways I could never have been wise enough to ask for but it takes mutual respect and willingness.

The whole STFU and lift I think is an emotionally inept response by guys who don’t have the skills to negotiate their way to a desired resolution. While it can be a solution it’s surely not a ubiquitous panacea that works for every problem in a marriage. It’s frustrating to talk at length again and again. Nothing more fruitless than a circular argument by two unflinching oppositions. The other side is some women have been absolutely spoiled and don’t have the grit for marriage. Crushing the princess mentality is difficult but women are no less teachable then men. Men are also guilty of having a princely mentality or disposition. Life isn’t always going to be easy and adversity is bound to strike eventually. Some great resources on owning your shit have been listed for her to read and I concur. If she can’t hear the message from you maybe it’s her ego getting in the way. Sometimes woman are reflexively oppositional to their man for whatever reason - usually because of their father-daughter relationship. So with that, a new messenger is necessary. Hopefully something will click and she’ll realize how unhelpful and unproductive her behavior has been towards the marriage.

For me MGTOW, married red pill and all that means I’m gonna do me and be content with myself whether I’m in a relationship or not. That lack of need to be in a relationship has shown my wife that she will have to work for my affection. It won’t just be doled out freely. This has made the relationship and the concessions being made much more mutual and she will agree the pain of the split forced her to grow up rapidly.

StarsandStripes702 · 2022-01-07T17:35:33+00:00

Don’t be a dick to her about these things she does, but also don’t reward bad behavior.

InChargeMan · 2022-01-07T17:13:31+00:00

Try being more attractive

flipadoodlely · 2022-01-08T14:42:10+00:00

When I was in college, we solved this problem in the shared areas by finding a really large box, and anything that was left out overnight in the kitchen or living room was dumped in there. Plates, silverware, nasty old food, phones. We literally dragged whatever was on every surface into that fucken box. After a week it would be NASTY. We called it the bastard box.

Do that with your wife’s shit. Not only will you be keeping your house tidy, but you’ll also be showing that you don’t tolerate her shit and the message will be clear. You can even combine this with the “Kobe” option that someone mentioned and shoot baskets with her crap.

AlohaMaui808 · 2022-01-07T16:42:59+00:00

Sidebar askhole

DeplorableRay · 2022-01-07T17:24:26+00:00

Try not giving a fuck and focus on yourself. She’s not a pet that you swat at for shitting in the house. You don’t own her. Who cares if she’s on her phone? Is someone needing a whittle attention? Maybe if you were more interesting and less of a little bitch, you’d get some.

Taipanshimshon · 2022-01-08T13:50:00+00:00

Women who want to sleep with you don't do things that annoy you.

After all.

What the hell ya gonna do ?

Leave ?

MrNeurotypical · 2022-01-10T01:47:00+00:00

When everything a person does pisses you off, it's not those things but something deeper. My wife is borderline moron IQ. The average IQ where she is from is 87 and let's just say she's a little below average. I'm about 130 IQ. I just have the attitude like "Aw you're so cute and tiny and helpless" and then I LEAD her and she FOLLOWS because she RESPECTS MAH AUTHORITAY.

Either she doesn't respect you(which would explain your resentment) or you're not a good leader. I think the two may be heavily intertwined. A micromanager is a bad leader because nobody respects them. I had my teenage son telling me to f-off and I made the conversation about him disrespecting me and him acting like a woman by getting emotional. That crap ended right then and there. My wife sees all this and is like "yeah, respect his authoritay" and then she dragged me into the bedroom by my dick and we had a laugh when I confused which order we're supposed to fuck her ass, pussy, and mouth. Ass first, then vagina, then mouth, right? Or is it ass first, then mouth, then vagina?

2022-01-08T05:51:15+00:00

Did you guys love together a for a while Before marriage? Could have solved this.

2022-01-22T21:44:39+00:00

Like you said you’re in the anger phase, and watching someone you’re angry at, follow your directions, she’ll never get them right. I know for my boundary creation, am I am still super new, I am just piecing them together for me. Most the big ticket items we all already have, it’s just adjusting to suit.

With the directions you give, suggestions offered, imagine your a shit boss, have been forever, coming into work one day laying down the law, she’s thinking who the fucks this idiot. It sounds like “obligated compliance”. I know my girl will self sabotage anything I give her, that she doesn’t agree to, she doesn’t want the responsibility.

I know STFU works, head down arse up, I have done very little overt stuff, but just done the work that I want done. After a couple of weeks she gets the hint, or she fights you on it, then does it her way, but it’s still getting done. I was going to write this exact post a few weeks ago, but read some more tried different techniques, TIME and STFU. All of that has been written already.

Title	Am I ever supposed to say anything about the annoying stuff my wife does?
Author	unwillingone1
Upvotes	25
Comments	88
Date	January 7, 2022 4:41 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/rybmp0/am_i_ever_supposed_to_say_anything_about_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/am-i-ever-supposed-to-say-anything-about-the.1094123 https://theredarchive.com/post/1094123

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