The Female Dating Strategy Podcast: EP. 44 - Billie Eilish & How The Media Groomed A Generation of Girls

ShieldMaidenLagertha · 2022-01-05T17:44:08+00:00

The part RE: demonizing older women. Yes, I recently got into a huge argument online regarding the use of the word Karen. It’s being hijacked from its original (legitimate, racially critical) meaning to just be a blanket insult to any woman over 30 who has a criticism of anything. The patriarchy is trying to shut us up and cut us off from the source of feminine experience and knowledge by ridiculing our predecessors.

azulalalala · 2022-01-05T12:44:32+00:00

I'm actually so happy that female popstars (who do actually influence the youth) are speaking out against porn! It is finally time to call a spade a spade. So far I know Zara Larsson and Billie Eilish have. Hope the others follow

MorthaP · 2022-01-05T16:10:40+00:00

This has no direct connection to anything but I just remembered something I saw on reddit some months ago (dont remember the subreddit either) that was about a female pornstar who had recently died. Of course men were absolute pigs in the comments and there was one comment about how she hasn't been in the earth that long, so you could probably dig her up and she'd still be a sexy corpse. It had like 2k upvotes and several awards.

scooter_se · 2022-01-05T20:06:28+00:00

Ever since seeing Billie speak out on how porn was damaging to her growing up, it was so inspiring and I immediately couldn’t wait to hear this sub’s and podcast’s opinions.

eternalalien8 · 2022-01-06T00:40:34+00:00

loved this episode!! so reassuring to hear these Queens tear apart coomer arguments, talk about finding xxx-material in childhood, the culture that grooms girls...!

I was definitely indoctrinated into accepting pickme attitudes by reading CosmoGirl as a kid- it's really insidious how adult magazines make consumable versions for teenagers. the regulations suggestions are everything-I hope we all see them implemented and witness this whole toxic xxx-cesspool vanish.

FDS gives me life!

xenon_rays · 2022-01-06T01:00:06+00:00

I really enjoyed this episode, and it made me reflect even more on how porn has directly and indirectly impacted me; which has been on my mind for months since finding people who are anti porn. I’m glad this is gaining publicity, because I didn’t ever hear an anti porn argument until summer 2021 (I’m 24 btw, in a very Liberal area). I hope it is stigmatized soon because I have been saturated in it and it’s sickening.

I’ve been thinking about sharing a specific story here, but I’m gonna hold back for now, as I’m new to this subreddit (and Reddit in general) and I don’t totally know the post etiquette.

esvle · 2022-01-06T15:20:02+00:00

RE the access to porn prior to online: the age of VHS rentals.

A coworker who's about 55 old me that when she was in her early 20s she managed one of those local video rental stores (not a chain). The store had a back room for the pornographic videos and of course the porn was mild by today's standards.

Men of all sorts would come in to rent those videos. It was embarrassing for her and the teenaged workers to ring up the customers. She was astonished that people were not ashamed to rent these videos in plain sight. The workers had to greet the customer and say "have a nice day!" and it was nauseating to her and the other young women and teens. This was in a town where everyone knew one another. At that time it was shameful to young people but older men who rented them simply were not ashamed. So, just FYI, that's how it used to be.

august-27 · 2022-01-07T01:25:55+00:00

LMAO @ Lilith firing a guy for masturbating in the work bathroom. That little moment killed me. These coomers have no shame

NotYourCirce · 2022-01-05T15:25:49+00:00

I’d love to hear from Gail Dines again if she wants to come back!

Noemie_Mathilde · 2022-01-06T00:38:54+00:00

It was great to hear women talking frankly about their experiences! J'adore ❤🧡💛💚💙💜

butteryrum · 2022-01-07T03:49:49+00:00

The Billie Ellish thing is so sad. Is she still dating that racist predator loser? It's hard to tell, it seems like she still is. I hope she wakes up realizes she can and deserves 10x better than that. The longer she keeps dating a racist the harder I have sympathy. Racism in men has always been a deal breaker for me.

iacint · 2022-01-06T05:23:11+00:00

My bf asked me a few days ago, “when capitalism will come with ethical slaves for marketing purposes ?” I am glad this episode gave me answers!! Also congratulations 🎉 on sponsorship and increasing views and patreon! You rock! Hope even more will come!

Saga-the-fierce · 2022-01-08T15:03:38+00:00

Savannah's laugh at the mention of the promotion of so-called "ethical porn" had me in stitches 🤣

popularsongs · 2022-01-08T18:04:42+00:00

about 2/3 of the way through but i’m wondering—what will happen to the children of pro-porn, “”sex positive”” millennial/gen z people? when they get to the age where they start learning about sex, how many of their parents will brainwash them into thinking porn is normal and good?

it’s bad enough that millennials and gen z had this shit forced on them by capitalism. it’s another level of sad to imagine it coming from people who kids/teens should trust the most.

_queeeen_ · 2022-01-06T23:28:09+00:00

What is the FDS view on other types of erotic visual art/expression, such as burlesque, or doing a boudoir shoot in lingerie as a wedding gift for your husband? Porn is clearly a hard NO, and sending nudes is incredibly risky and not worth it. But what about these other categories?

cantstuntbikerbitch · 2022-01-05T18:18:13+00:00

Ro's beginning talk of how she wasn't really affected was kind of annoying. good for you that it didn't affect you like it affected most of us. I adore the show (I am even subscribed on Patreon) but it always feels like she is the "oh I didn't deal with that 🤷‍♀️💅🏻" type and it's really frustrating and comes off as superiority.

LilacForgetMeNot · 2022-01-09T17:34:00+00:00

Billie Eillish is the same age as me.

And while of course I wasn't spared from being exposed to porn against my consent on the internet my experience is always almost... Alienatingly miles away from any other women I heard talk about this.still remember my very first porn pop up add. Traumatizing. Somehow, I too knew that it was something bad, something shameful, something i should turn my eyes away from. But when other girls would start to want to be attractive to guys I... Never did. I don't remember ever trying to be attractive to a man. I've worn black tighs and shorts and eventually started looking attractive in them, but it felt more like inevitable doom. I've had crushes but I ignored them and if anyone ever had a crush on me they did the same. When other girls were talking about their boyfriends and losing their virginity (some to douches who broke up with them after getting valentine's day sex) and they would turn to me like "oh, you wouldn't get it. You're too innocent" and I felt infatilized despite being the same age and there was nothing I say to change that perception. Cuz you know what I was doing while the other girls were "exploring their sexuality?" Coming to terms with my 𝙖𝙨𝙚𝙭𝙪𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙮.

I truly believe that was my saving grace. I know some of you think demisexuality is a joke and I'll let you have that opinion, but I need you to understand that not only was it the first time I ever heard that I can stay a virgin forever if I wish so, 𝙞𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚 𝙞 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙄 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙨𝙚𝙭𝙪𝙖𝙡 𝙖𝙘𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙄 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙞𝙣 𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙖 𝙧𝙤𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙘 𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥. Given that nowdays they brand physical abuse as sex, that's an important thing to hear.And i found this out at the perfect time, as I was just about turning 16 and was freaking out over the fact that whatever switch was supposed to be turned and make me want sex didn't work.

And only once I had that weight off my shoulders I was able to be less prudish and do my research both into legitimate sources and finally listening in on those girl talks (more like an alien studying humans than anything) because altho i moved, I come from a country where sex ed is nonexistent and has some of the highest rates of teen pregnancy.

And then I found reddit.

The place where you find porn without even looking for it.

And while to this day I flinch away from visual porn, with real actors, you know what I eased up on? Reading about it. Who's fault is it?

Posts on reddit. A subreddit. I'm not gonna name it, but it made me go "ma'am, that sounds like trauma. That sounds therapy worthy. Are you okay?"

and fan fiction on the internet. I am still prudish about it, it's a phase I have from time to time, i try to filter smut out but 𝙞 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 there is fucked up shit out there because somehow it still finds me. I went on AO3 for the first time ever this year and they had like. R*ape and "noncon" as main tags. It's another way that damaging porn mentality us way too accessible to kids. And I know it doesn't measure up to the damage of the porn industry, but you must remember that fifty shades was first a fan fiction and then it went to somehow become an icon (?) Of erotica that woman read/watch and now we have more terrible fanfictions being turned into books and movies. Like the atrocity that is After. And these things are marketed as Young Adult.

Basically, I'm holding my fingers crossed for an episode featuring asexuality or fan fiction. Someday.

anyrandomnameplease · 2022-01-09T05:57:06+00:00

In Australia tax payer’s money (where at least 30% of each person’s tax goes to welfare) funds prostitution. Yes, you read that right. Under national disability scheme, those with a disability (physical, mental, intellectual) can legally use their welfare money to pay a brothel and to pay a support worker to take them there, and wait for them while they do their deed. Does not mean that those working in brothels get any better treatment by the society as they ever did. Furthermore, someone with, say, Down’s syndrome, living in a care facility is not even likely to know about existence of brothels, but someone in management might decide that they need “to have their sexual needs met” (e.g., if they behave inappropriately towards others) and dispatch them to a brothel with a support worker to drive them.

I wonder if there is some stats that would break down the users of this benefit by gender.

Turquoiseeee · 2022-01-10T18:36:14+00:00

I truly loved this podcast. I was also hooked on porn since I was a child and recently stopped watching it once I found FDS. It has had such a negative impact on me growing up and the way I viewed sex and relationships. Billie and I are the same age so I’m glad more young women like me are breaking away from porn.

MorthaP · 2022-01-05T13:15:25+00:00

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Illustrious_Dream751 · 2022-01-12T19:07:56+00:00

Best moment: Savannah laughing for an entire minute at the thought of "ethical porn"

Saddest moment: Lillith saying "I wish my parents gave enough of a shit about me to get mad at me for watching porn"

Complete_Math9383 · 2022-01-10T04:05:13+00:00

She spoke about how porn is bad but went on the cover of a magazine when she was only a teenager wearing nude colored lingerie that a 30 year old would wear and for what? How is she going to call out women being exploited when she herself is being exploited?

The Female Dating Strategy Podcast: EP. 44 - Billie Eilish & How The Media Groomed A Generation of Girls

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Comments

Title	The Female Dating Strategy Podcast: EP. 44 - Billie Eilish & How The Media Groomed A Generation of Girls
Author	SnarkSticks
Upvotes	217
Comments	46
Date	January 5, 2022 11:10 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/rwki26/the_female_dating_strategy_podcast_ep_44_billie/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/the-female-dating-strategy-podcast-ep-44-billie.1094515 https://theredarchive.com/post/1094515