Q4W: What would you do if your marriage ended up being like this...

PronKing10 · 2022-09-13T13:13:41+00:00

What in the world even is this? You got married and YEARS later she's just now noticing hes sexually inexperienced? Wouldn't that have been noticed during dating? And you think women WANT men to be confident and enthusiastic when other women hit on him?? I don't think when any women sees their husband's friends getting women they wonder why isn't my HUSBAND trying to score too??

realbsartist · 2022-09-13T13:13:44+00:00

You fucking leave him so he kind find someone who treats him better?

That's not wrong advice either. You are being shitty and toxic towards him. I had a partner do the same thing, and I thought oh well maybe this is all I'm worth. Eventually I got fucking sick of a human-being I cared about not treating me with mutual respect, left her ass.

I then got my confidence, game, sexual experience all back because I wasn't the problem, she was. Now I have a smoking hot gf who treats me like an equal and doesn't play immature mind games.

pinktuliplover · 2022-09-13T13:28:23+00:00

How is he an incel if we’ve been married for years? What is your definition of incel because it seems different?

I wouldn’t care much if a guy was very inexperienced.

How did he get me if he gets awkward around women? If he’s mine why do I care about his awkwardness around other women? He doesn’t need to talk to them much. Good for me.

I’m not interested in testing my supposed husband, but let’s pretend I’m this type of woman who mistreats her husband. If he lacked self respect wouldn’t that be more beneficial for me in this scenario? So why would I care?

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-09-13T15:18:54+00:00

Um, he's not an incel. He's married. To me. Why would I want my husband to be "pulling chicks"?
He's not sexually inexperienced. He's had plenty of sex. With me.
I don't want him to flirt when women hit on him. I want him to ignore it. He's married. To me.
I would not ignore or badly treat my husband. If I happened to notice we haven't had sex in a while, I'd initiate a bj in the morning or something. It's not that difficult (I almost said "it's not that hard" but that might offend my hypothetical husband, lol).

Your fantasies are all so freaking weird.

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-09-13T15:44:08+00:00

Why the fuck are you writing incel in all caps like you're trying to trigger people? Get over yourself.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-09-13T13:33:11+00:00

Okay points for making me laugh. But seriously this is dumb as hell.

ruboyuri · 2022-09-13T14:05:10+00:00

You fuck him. Problem solved

2022-09-13T14:23:16+00:00

We wouldn't get to this point (at least not on my end) because I believe in the concept of the "marriage debt" as we euphemistically call it in Catholicism.

And on a purely pragmatic level I was raised in a family where it's strongly believed, religious or not, that sex is the glue that holds most functional marriages together. I mean yeah it's important to be romantic with your partner in ways that don't involve sex but foregoing it entirely is strongly not recommended.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2022-09-13T14:52:43+00:00

I would wonder how my magic vagina somehow made him go from experienced to inexperienced.

Barneysparky · 2022-09-13T13:20:51+00:00

I'd wonder why my husband has been replaced by a pod person and be shocked that a 1970s science fiction/horror film is now my life.

Then I guess I'd try to find out where this "person" who has replaced my husband is keeping him. I'd probably rewatch the movie for clues first.

EulenWatcher · 2022-09-13T13:19:22+00:00

What kind of question is it?

I wouldn't find myself in this situation to start with. I've married a man who I'm actually attracted to. You don't go without sex for 7 months (if you're both healthy), if you give sex a priority. You do your best to keep the fire and if you're stressed, you take some time to unwind together which often leads to sex afterwards.

I can imagine getting on a dry spree due to some major negative events, like when you go through grieve or something similar, but if it takes 7 months, you probably should go on therapy.

If a couple finds themselves in a situation you've described, they can go on couple therapy if they want to try and solve their issue, but most likely they will divorce sooner or later, as it takes some dedication not to have sex for more than half of year and not to do anything about it in the process.

Financial_Leave4411 · 2022-09-13T13:22:45+00:00

Why would a married woman want her husband to develop the skills and confidence to cheat?

Also I don’t think your giving men enough credit. Men aren’t some wild animal who go mad/ savage/feral without regular sex. Look at Buddhist monks for example. Men can still be peaceful and happy without sex. If men get angry it’s about more than just lack of sex.

SmilesLikeMardiGras · 2022-09-13T13:19:06+00:00

lol how did i marry or date this man? stupid post

risdeveau · 2022-09-13T14:40:13+00:00

Drink a couple of glasses of water, which should mitigate drug-induced hallucinations and delusions

Lysa_Bell · 2022-09-13T15:01:26+00:00

A classical case of brain swap. IGOR! check the weather app! We have science to do!

kalashhhhhhhh · 2022-09-13T16:01:05+00:00

I can't see myself going without sex for 7 months (barring some unfortunate medical situation).

No shit he ignores women when they hit on him, he's married.

You are also implying that even when we had sex he didn't get as much experience as "other guys", which would also be very incorrect, as the guy I'd marry would be the guy I'm the most attracted to.

Your entire premise is ridiculous and laughable.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-09-13T15:18:06+00:00

I can't imagine him wanting more sex than me for seven months unless I was seriously sick or injured. I don't know why his friends having casual sex is something I would care about. Naturally he wouldn't be having casual sex, because he's married. The solution here would, I guess, just be to solve whatever awful thing is wrong with me.

I expect him to be sexually inexperienced. Promiscuity is unattractive to me. That's not a problem for either of us, but part of the deal. No solution needed.

I don't care how awkwardly he reacts when flirted with so long as he doesn't say yes. Ignoring it is fine and understandable, and tbh awkwardness is cute even if I'm flirting with someone. I don't find it a problem, but if he finds it a problem we can talk about what would be a better way to let someone down gently together.

What the fuck. That isn't a way I'd treat anyone. If he came to me with a problem about feeling ignored or disrespected I'd want to work on it straight away before I got to that point. If he did, then I'd hope he'd divorce me as he deserves better. That doesn't make him unattractive, that just makes me an asshole.

This is just a weird question. If I married him, obviously I find him attractive and want to treat him well.

prizefighterstudent · 2022-09-13T13:27:20+00:00

This post reeks of autism.

I luv it.

FineDevelopment00 · 2022-09-13T22:17:31+00:00

He's an INCEL: He hasn't had sex in at least 7 months. All his male friends are pulling chicks and he's absolutely hopeless, he complains about it, yuk.

I don't think "incel" means what you think it means. It's more of a misogynistic mindset than lack of sex in and of itself (it's even possible to have an incel-like mentality whilst being sexually active.) The gentleman you're describing doesn't have the incel mindset even though he isn't getting the sex he yearns for from his wife, so I would not consider him an incel. He's genuinely in love with and respectful to his wife, he's complaining about a legitimate problem (a dead bedroom in marriage due to his wife having utterly neglected him over time) instead of feeling entitled to women's bodies, etc. And his friends are manwhores? Lol they are what's unattractive to me.

He's SEXUALLY INEXPERIENCED: He has only had sex with this one woman (you) for years and years now, and even then he didn’t get much experience as other guys you have known.

ROFL, joke's on you dude; virginity until marriage (especially if he actively chose to wait for moral reasons) is the ideal, and minimal experience (particularly including an absence of baggage from those encounters) with other women (excluding platonic contexts, ofc, because relating to women as people apart from sexual and romantic contexts is attractive) is the next-best-case scenario.

He lacks CONFIDENCE around women: You notice he gets all awkward when women hit on him, and he often ignores it - it's like he has autism or something.

Or he's just not a manwhore who would cheat on his wife? Which is by definition - wait for it - attractive. Also, autism is not inherently unattractive in and of itself; high-functioning autistics can be good husbands just the same as neurotypicals; it all depends on the individual and the quality of person he is.

He has absolutely NO SELF RESPECT: He's in a relationship with a woman (you), who totally ignores him. She's tested how badly she can treat him and it seems that whatever she does, he won't leave her.

I do not identify with or relate to this abusive wife at all, tbqh. I applaud the man for not stooping to her level even though he deserves someone so much better than her, though.

This post is yet another example of manosphere types projecting what they find attractive/impressive in a man (being a jaded manwhore who's accumulated a ton of baggage AHEM UHM I mean "experience", who'd be easily ready to leave his wife because his foundational feelings for her run shallow) onto women.

bunnakay · 2022-09-13T13:34:18+00:00

If he's embraced inceldom, it's divorce time. He can whine about deserving a woman to fuck to someone else.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2022-09-13T15:31:19+00:00

First I would not of let it go 7 months. We have regular date nights to try and combate this type of thing. It’s easy to get overwhelmed with life work kids etc. our date nights are often at home, a nice meal or a film or sex Jenga. No phones no talking about the kids.

For me the more sex I have the more I want, if I go for a long time I stop wanting it so much, not sure if that makes me weird.

If I’m not in the mood I will often give him a blow job or something,

Though back to the post how does a married man become an incel? I thought incels were virgins?

SouthernGrass3 · 2022-09-13T16:20:43+00:00

?

I don’t care if his friends are “pulling.” If the complaining was a passive effort to get me to have sex with him, or him idealizing a casual sex lifestyle, then yes- that piece would be unattractive.

I’d already know if he were sexually inexperienced. My partner isn’t terribly experienced, I don’t care.

Ignoring when other women hit on him is a good response

I don’t know how you got to the last point. Are you saying that not having sex with him for a period of time when we’re both busy and I’m stressed at work constitutes testing how badly I can treat him?

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Title	Q4W: What would you do if your marriage ended up being like this...
Author	Laytheblameonluck
Upvotes	0
Comments	81
Date	September 13, 2022 9:24 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/xd2v2i/q4w_what_would_you_do_if_your_marriage_ended_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4w-what-would-you-do-if-your-marriage-ended-up.1131189 https://theredarchive.com/post/1131189

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