Ar what age is being unmarried a red flag for M&W?

wtknight · 2022-09-19T01:23:41+00:00

I don't know about never married men, but I wouldn't care if an older woman that I was thinking of dating had ever been married. The idea of a single mother usually bother some men much more than the idea of an unmarried middle-aged women.

midwesternMD · 2022-09-19T02:17:57+00:00

Divorced man who is looking for wife material here.

I do not believe a never married status is itself a liability for a potential partner. But I think it would make me wonder (and perhaps ask) why she hasn’t been married if she were over 35 or so and she wanted to get married.

Is it because she focused on her career at the expense of her dating life?

Did she have cancer?

Did she break off an engagement/had an engagement fall apart?

Did she have a change of heart about wanting to get married?

Why matters more, I think.

But to echo someone else’s response, I would agree that being a single mother is a dealbreaker for someone like me. I swipe left at the first whiff of a single mother.

bunnakay · 2022-09-19T01:41:05+00:00

Considering not everyone cares about getting married, I don't think it's a red flag at all. The bigger red flag would be a complete lack of dating history.

SeasonPositive6771 · 2022-09-19T05:33:57+00:00

I don't consider never marrying a red flag at all. People have lots of different reasons for not getting married, and generally they're pretty valid.

Soon-to-be-Catlady · 2022-09-19T21:10:06+00:00

My partner is 40 and I definitely would have preferred if he hadn't married his ex. A divorce is much more baggage to deal with than just a relationship. To me (30F) personally, not having been married will never be a red flag since I have never been at a stage in a relationship wanting to get married, so I would understand if someone else never got there

LiftSushiDallas · 2022-09-19T01:50:04+00:00

It's never a red flag for me. I think they are pretty smart.

NoResponse6131 · 2022-09-19T02:44:55+00:00

I see divorce and multiple marriages as a red flag. To me, divorce means that they most likely did not make a right decision when they married. As in, they married for the wrong reasons, or possibly something went horribly wrong that they divorced.

Either way, it's not great. On top of it, they have long history with someone and that is always going to be there.

Unmarried to me, means they have not found the one, taking their time to make a big decision, I see it as being responsible. Or possibly have other reasons, that delayed the decision such as finances, family burdens, health issues... life happens. I prefer unmarried over divorced. No matter what age or circumstances.

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-09-19T02:45:05+00:00

Divorce is a bigger red flag than having never been married. And I say that as someone who has been divorced.

ManWazo · 2022-09-19T01:34:23+00:00

Never. Wanting marriage is a red flag like the only reason to do it is either you care about god or want half of my money.

_revelationary · 2022-09-19T01:21:41+00:00

I don’t think it’s necessarily a red flag at any age. If anything, having been married once or multiple times and divorced might be more of a red flag, depending on circumstances. For a man, never being married might make some women question whether he is commitment phobic but if he’s not showing other red flags in the dating stage, it’s probably not helpful to over-analyze. 🤷🏼‍♀️

januaryphilosopher · 2022-09-19T06:00:19+00:00

It's pretty much always a bigger red flag if someone has been married before (or is still married).

sjamad_oc · 2022-09-19T06:08:34+00:00

For women who want to be married, if they're 28, 29, and still single, doing things casual, situationships, tinder/hinge-hopping, etc etc...they should be in panic mode. By early 30s, absolutely it would be a red flag to be unmarried for a woman who desires a husband and kids.

For men, again assuming they want to be hitched in the first place with kids and the white picket fence and 2.0 kids and the whole shebang..if they're early 30s and still single they should be in panic mode...By 35, 36, it is absolutely a red flag for a man wanting a family to still be unmarried.

By the time a woman is 35/36/37 she has crashed and burned. No self-respecting man with an ounce of masculine pride should ever consider marrying a woman whose youth and best days are long gone behind her, is at the tail end of her fertility, and was so incompetent that she couldn't choose one single guy out of the hundreds - nay, thousands - of men who've expressed interest in her from the time she was a teenager to her abject present condition...

By the time a man is 40, he has officially crashed and burned. Marriage and kids are the ships that sailed quite awhile ago. Even if he's served the woman of his dreams on a silver platter his prime youthful days are long past him, he'll be that lame-looking old dad who will be pushing 60 in his hypothetical kids graduation photos (looking more the granddad than actual dad), and his best bet would be to cultivate his passions and hobbies, live life as stress-free and easily as he can make it, and live the life of the confirmed bachelor.

DiligentProgresses · 2022-09-19T01:21:01+00:00

I was having brunch with my cousins and one if them is in her late 30s and she started dating a guy in his early 40s. Both of them have never been married. She was mentioning how she thought it was a red flag that he's never been married and we all just looked at her like "seriously, you're gonna say that?". For context, all of us are in our 30s and she's the only one who has never married. She tried to say that it's different for women and we just started giving her tons of shit to the point where she left early. What does PPD think?

Yeah she's got .0005 shriveled up eggs left and he's the red flag 🤣

Rhubarb_Fair · 2022-09-19T10:54:53+00:00

Yes, it is different. There are more quality women who want to get married than men. So if a woman is 35/40 and unmarried its often because marriageable men are in short supply. If a man is 35/40 and unmarried, that usually means that he doesn't want to be married and / or has issues. Of course, exceptions on both sides

no-304s · 2022-09-19T01:28:28+00:00

Women: 25-28.

Men: 35-40

DisasterPeace7 · 2022-09-19T03:16:18+00:00

This is obviously for people who want to be married, so for those of you who have sworn off marriage this obviously doesn't apply to you but I would say for a man who wants to be married if he hasn't gotten it done by 35-37ish that's a bit of a red flag, for a woman who wants to be married I'd say 27-30ish

AutoModerator · 2022-09-19T01:17:41+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

villarconstante · 2022-09-19T02:06:16+00:00

It doesn't matter for both genders . However a married man is more likely to be well of so he will be attractive by that metric.

Dagenius1 · 2022-09-19T04:44:04+00:00

Can’t speak for ladies but for men, an early 40s man who has never been married is likely not going to get married. I’ve confidently told my female friends this over the years.

That dude isn’t going to marry you.

I’ve seen people say to be leery of women who aren’t married by 35 and that seems to be pretty accurate

dbz19_kai · 2022-09-19T09:14:01+00:00

I don't think it becomes a "red flag" at any age. For some people, it just doesn't happen. Not everyone has the same factory-processed life plan. Everyone has different lives, different events, different experiences. Not having had a relationship is not a red flag, neither is not being married.

Kizka · 2022-09-19T11:00:27+00:00

It's never a red flag for me. Hell, I have no interest in getting married and I'm in ltr for almost ten years now. Why would it bother me in other people? If they were never able to have a ltr when they're in ther mid 30s, now that could be a red flag. But simply not being married? Nah.

Stop_Maximum · 2022-09-19T13:59:43+00:00

It would never be a red flag because some people might not want to be married. Other might want to settle down a bit later. I think it depends on what they’ve done while not married

NationalistGoy · 2022-09-19T18:29:46+00:00

we just started giving her tons of shit to the point where she left early.

LMAO the only proper response

begrydgerer · 2022-09-19T20:55:17+00:00

Depends, in Afghanistan it's maybe 12, in Sweden it's like 80

2022-09-19T22:26:00+00:00

I really couldn't care either way. Married, never married. Not like I am looking for an ex-husband to spit roast her with or something.

HobbitShaker88 · 2022-09-20T03:58:23+00:00

It depends on the person, Id take it case by case if I were single (Im in my mid 30s and happily married).

I have met several men and women not married by age that I think are bad catches or have avoidant issues.

Ok-Meeting654 · 2023-03-06T00:56:54+00:00

I understand the question and as an unmarried women, worry that at 40, men would find this weird. But while half of my friends are now in unhappy marriages, I have spent years on self reflection, reading and self-improvement and will for the first time, be prepared to be in a healthy relationship when one is available to me. What was weird, was my past willingness to be in unhealthy relationships and what’s weirder, that we live in a society who believe it’s healthier to be divorced then having avoided marriage knowing that we weren’t quite ready in the past. A bigger red flag is a person who can’t be alone, in my opinion and will opt for an unhealthy relationship over singleness..and who married because “everyone else was doing it”. 🤷‍♀️

Title	Ar what age is being unmarried a red flag for M&W?
Author	cast-away-ramadi06
Upvotes	12
Comments	42
Date	September 19, 2022 1:17 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/xhxvd6/ar_what_age_is_being_unmarried_a_red_flag_for_mw/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/ar-what-age-is-being-unmarried-a-red-flag-for-mw.1132530 https://theredarchive.com/post/1132530

Comments