This has been a common thing I’ve noticed is with women (esp white women in their 20’s) having melt downs when the idea comes up of women being abusive also. Especially the idea that is beyond a statistical irrelevance.

I was at a bar last night. I went out to the patio to have a smoke and I asked a group of people if it was cool if I sat next to them. They said sure!

I start talking to this girl who was sitting next to me and somehow - I don’t remember how - the conversation gets on the subject of “power dynamics” in relationships. Which is my favorite feminism concept to shit on.

She basically starts talking about the stupid script every young feminist woman gets in college or in a buzzfeed article- “men use physical strength and money to abuse women.” Which implies that because power is based only on money or physical strength or status that only men are abusers.

I said, yes that is a real thing but you don’t need money or physical strength to abuse someone, I said all you need to abuse someone is by having them being emotionally attached to you.

For example children can abuse their parents despite being 9 years old and 70 pounds and having a net-worth of 72 cents. The reason they can abuse the parent is because the parents emotional attachment to the child.

I’ve seen many women abuse their husbands who weigh 110lbs and have no money. The reason they can do this is because of the man’s emotional attachment to the woman. Of course there are other ways a woman can abuse a man such as through legal systems, reputational damage, divorce, taking the man’s kids the list goes on.

She starts deflecting what I’m saying then says oh well 99% of the abuse and power structure in relationships is men it’s rare for women to abuse a man. And I’m like no that’s not really true but she cut me off. (Women actually initial violence almost 50% of the time.)

https://aliesq.medium.com/extensive-research-women-initiate-domestic-violence-more-than-men-men-under-report-it-3bbaa4fbec9d

Then I noticed she was getting visibly angry. I was not saying any of these things argumentatively I was just adding to the topic of power dynamics. I thought it was a an entertaining and fun conversation tbh. I like adding these points to the conversation because it gives another way of looking at it which is fun to me.

But she started getting visibly mad and she says it sounds like you’re saying a bunch of stuff to try to say women can be violent also. And I’m like yeah that’s exactly what I’m saying lol. I’m saying that bc the concept of “power structures” try to reinforce the idea that only men are abusive. Or at least heavily implies being statistically male.

Then she got even more upset and completely snapped and said I don’t want to talk to you or about this anymore I’m trying to talk to my friends and don’t talk to me anymore / go away etc. Total melt down.

When I was agreeing with her initial points she was so happy to talk to me. The second I added some other points to her feminist dogma she had a complete fucking melt down. We talked for a good 5 minutes or so seemed like a good happy convo then It went from her being cool to completely snapping within 60 seconds of me adding context to “power dynamics” and basically pointing out women are abusive also and without having any power dynamic in their favor.