Your past matters, but it isn't just who you have screwed.

Now I am of the belief that we can all have whatever dealbreakers we want regardless of how trivial or hypocritical they are. If a playboy will only consider a low-n woman for something long term, yeah that is hypocritical but its his prerogative. If a woman making 40k a year waiting tables will only consider a man making 6 figures, that's her business.

A lot of people get hung up on the idea of someone's past, especially their sexual history. We see plenty of posts about some guy dumping his girlfriend or fiancé after he finds out she had a train run on her. A lot of people say the past is the past and she had no obligation to share that information with him. But we all know that the information is obviously and usually a serious dealbreaker.

For people who argue the past is always the past, does this extend to other serious dealbreakers?

What about someone who turned their life around after blowing their inheritance on cocaine and heroin? A year or two of solid use can easily burn through a very generous bequeathment. But does it matter? They turned their life around and have a job and don't use now, so are potential partners obligated to know? what if they don't explicitly ask? And no they didn't catch anything incurable in that time.

What about someone who has a criminal background? Let's say they don't do it anymore, but they financed their college education by selling drugs or driving illegal immigrants across the state?

Pick a past action that is dealbreaker that can be dismissed with the idea that people can change. Does your belief that the past is the past still apply? or does your moral fortitude shift depending on the topic?

If your opinion is that it depends on the subject then you do agree the past matters, you just have different morals in regard to sexuality. Consistency is key, if you don't believe someone should be judged for taking part in a gangbang, then you shouldn't be judging someone for shooting up dope.

I am personally forthcoming about everything after I have gotten to know someone. Usually within a few months. But, I know not everyone is. But this conversation is usually solely focused on sexual experience and although that is important, its not the only red flag some folks would probably rather not wave freely.