Virtue Signaling, the "need to be right", "im not like that" and the exception negates the rule. These counter-arguement styles seem to be common in online forums. Why do we get soo triggered by generalities in gender .

CimZim · 2022-10-11T12:19:18+00:00

If it was to stay in completely hypothetical and/or anecdotal generalizations, it's often dumb but not really a problem. The issue is when someone, either man or woman, tries desperately to convince another person that "well you're a maaale, so of course you are inherently misogynistic" or "since you're a feeemale you're inherently hypergamous". Just 2 examples I've either seen or experienced.

Attempting to tell a stranger who you've never interacted with irl that you know their beliefs or behaviors better than them, solely based on something like sex, is peak cringe.

Siukslinis_acc · 2022-10-11T13:59:42+00:00

Speaking in absolutes is strongly advised against in literally any realm of debate under the sun.

Maybe we should be asking why people use "all" or "none" and then get annoyed when responses contain anecdata. You set yourself up for that, dude.

tinasnow-poty · 2022-10-11T14:24:07+00:00

Some of them are so blatantly untrue though. “Women prefer taller guys” is okay, reasonable. “No woman will ever genuinely desire a man under 6 foot” is just batshit insane

toasterchild · 2022-10-11T11:57:15+00:00

Generalizing entire groups had always been dumb, that's nothing new

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-10-11T12:11:23+00:00

A lot of times the way people are described here is completely divorced from my personal reality. And don’t get it.

abaxeron · 2022-10-11T16:02:10+00:00

Why do we get soo triggered by generalities in gender .

especially prominent in gender studies

The idea of "gender studies" is that men collectively have an innate urge to enslave women. Therefore, if we allow men to, for example, acknowledge having better spatial reasoning, within 200 years they'll inevitably get naturally urged to conclude that they should rule over women.

bison5595 · 2022-10-11T12:21:25+00:00

The reason is that people, especially women, want to feel that they are unique and special. They don't want to be put in the same category as everyone else. It's like politics. I'm black, statistically, we vote for democrats, but if you say that out loud, especially on social media, people will push back and say you can't put everyone in a box. Women like taller men, especially over 6ft. Men prefer thinner women, or least not overweight, it is what it is.

PMmeareasontolive · 2022-10-11T14:18:31+00:00

One could also ask why studies posted here are regarded as canonical and beyond criticism.

kblkbl165 · 2022-10-11T16:45:10+00:00

The reason these anecdotes show up is because there’s often a HUGE leap between the stats and the conclusion.

Most posts here:

Women care more about appearance than they want us to believe. The obvious conclusion? If you’re not Brad Pitt you’re doomed to betabuxxx a 3/10 single mom of 3 in her late 30’s.

Most generalizing statements are widely agreed upon, the issue is the “natural conclusions” people reach starting from them simply because general statements are too vague by nature.

AcatlOzai · 2022-10-11T14:29:53+00:00

Having statistics alone isn't enough as to use in an argument or be used in peered review scientific paper , there is usually context or nuance on those statistics. Conclusions are usually made that's when discussion around these studies are done to come up with a better understanding.

bottleblank · 2022-10-11T16:45:16+00:00

Because I'm not a raging arsehole feeling up and beating down women because I want sex and don't care about their consent or interest.

Constantly seeing "well of course we're wary of men, of course we don't want you to approach us, ew, icky, paedo-rapists, probably got a basement full of exes who tried to say no, you're all creeps who send out offensive unsolicited explicit photos to get your kicks" is pretty fucking miserable.

I'm not that guy, I've never been that guy, I'm never going to be that guy, and I resent the overly broad implications that men are so brutally ignorant and/or violent that the perceived risks of a perfectly normal man existing in a public place are apparently cause for panic. How the hell are we supposed to get on together as men and women if we keep slapping people around the face with this worst-case assumption of what any man might be?

Sure, bad things happen, but there's a difference between reasonable precautions and outright paranoia. AIUI, the majority of violence against women occurs in private spaces, with people they already know, yet around here men are spoken about like you'd be lucky to find one who isn't violent.

So, yeah, I'll defend myself, I'll tell you I don't force myself on women, I'll tell you that I don't want to pump and dump, I'll tell you that I want a fair and equal relationship with a woman I consider to be as valid an individual human being as I am, because it's all true and someone around here should speak up for those of us who share that position and not get drowned out by accusations of lying and covering up for men's behaviour, or other men acting like jackasses.

NockerJoe · 2022-10-11T12:13:54+00:00

The thing is that a large portion of the women here are exactly like that. They talk about dating some dude they're head over heels with as if it were the norm but will occasionally admit to times where they went on a date just for the food or let some dude they didn't really care about put in the leg work. They just act like the time they got emotionlly invested and it worked out is the norm and the times they were just as stupid and toxic as everyone people complain about doesn't count.

Censoredv2 · 2022-10-11T11:51:04+00:00

Because i refuse to let unchangeable shit like my gender determine who I am and what I do with my life

WilliamWyattD · 2022-10-11T12:48:06+00:00

The men here have their share of problems, but refusing to generalize properly to look at the big picture as best we can is typically more of a female problem.

The tinfoil hat conspiracy theory guy in me sometimes feels that women have actually done all the big picture modeling privately. They know the score and it directs their policies. But they just don't want to do it publicly because they figure men couldn't handle the truth and would start a backlash.

youarockandnothing · 2022-10-11T16:18:08+00:00

It's because no one wants to believe that their decisions and motivations are similar to those of hundreds of thousands of other people.

Once you know enough little details about someone, you can guess what they're looking for re: sex and dating fairly easily, but people hate that shit.

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bunnakay · 2022-10-11T14:33:45+00:00

If we're talking dating and sex, I don't see the point in using generalities unless you're just desperate.

CatchPhraze · 2022-10-11T15:13:56+00:00

There is no argument easier to defeat than an absolute, all it takes is one example, hell even one example of a maybe not.

So in a debate sub, people salivate at such an easy win

pikecat · 2022-10-11T15:28:49+00:00

Population level statistics are not a good measure of an individual. They are meant to apply to populations, not individuals. The reasoning is a bit complex for this space. However, people did not evolve to understand populations of 100s of millions.

Statistics are not designed to describe the individual.

Take one case, that x describes 20% of people. This x will show up in a population survey, but will still not describe most people.

People are highly complex and varied. Population level statistics measure only a very minimal amount of an individual and without any context. People are thoughtful, statistics and generalizations are not, people act differently depending on context.

Generalizing was meant for a different context, not modern society. If you think leaving the cave at night was going to get you killed, statistically you'd be wrong. However, even if the chance was only 1% that you are right, given the weight of the consequences, you are far better off to be wrong 99% of the time.

Just to be clear, population level statistics are not meant to describe any individual. People who do this, are making logical thinking mistakes.

Trying to reduce a whole gender to a few simple ideas, is going to make you wrong about an individual. People get indignant when you try to tell them what their character is, when you don't know them.

Source: studied statistics in university. It's all counterintuitive.

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-10-11T17:19:37+00:00

I know what you mean, but counterexamples are important. Especially if you’re seeing a LOT of counterexamples, it might be time to reconsider your generalization. All generalizations aren’t created equal. Some have significantly more merit than others. Some are just plain wrong and baseless.

Steakman1 · 2022-10-11T17:32:56+00:00

Because it’s only natural to want to defend yourself when someone makes a negative statement that could be directed towards you. Whenever people claim something like “men will fuck anything,” it’s almost an instinctual response for me to want to point out the fact that I’ve turned down every opportunity for casual sex that I’ve had. Negative statements get a stronger emotional response from people. If some guy were to come out and say how women are beautiful and amazing, you’re not going to have a swarm of women pitching in to say how some women are horrible people.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2022-10-11T17:56:56+00:00

I used to struggle with reading redpill content and having little to no ability to connect it to my own experience as a woman. Then I realized that TRP could be just as useful to me for understanding male thoughts, motivations, and behavior.

Manosphere men complain that they’ve been sold the “Women are Wonderful” lie, but women have likewise been sold the lie that men are romantics who give have half a shit about her as a person, at least when compared to…other things.

So I’ve become comfortable with using AWALT/AMALT with the knowledge that no, not every single woman or man is “that way” but that it’s a useful heuristic to live by if you’re trying to make some judgement calls in the sphere of relationships and dating.

And yet for some reason the men here tend to be offended that I would make such sweeping generalizations about them. I guess that kind of approach is reserved for women, who are obviously just NPC’s, and not for men who are individual players with agency. /s

2022-10-11T18:28:52+00:00

We get triggered by generalities in gender mainly because we all want to be seen and heard as individuals and feel special.

The reality is, many of us are all more alike than we’re willing to admit. The advent of pop culture and things such as tiktok dances literally negate one’s individuality.

Upstairs-Rip-604 · 2022-10-12T06:33:36+00:00

Perhaps most surfers in the world are smarter than most mathematicians in the world. A lot of people would laugh this proposition away without critical thought.

pans_eat_bee_hon · 2022-10-12T10:39:54+00:00

Maybe distinguish between proximate and ultimate when making generalizations? Like be as explicit as you can about whether you’re talking about things actual people think/feel and things that evolution made advantageous but we don’t even think about.

gate18 · 2022-10-12T13:20:31+00:00

Speaking for myself, generalities are worthless. If you want to say something, back it up with a study.

Generalities appear to be evolutionary advantageous for survival.

Using evolution as an argument is also boring and worthless. If we relied purely on evolution human civilization would not be where it is right now.

Ohmaygahh · 2022-10-12T15:05:00+00:00

Women hate to any attempt to be put in a herd box. Their desperate belief of every woman being "unique" is tantamount to their ego.

Any broad stroke generalizations is an insult to them.

pan3639 · 2022-10-12T15:51:29+00:00

There's no conversation to be had with these posters, you ignore them and let them feel better about themselves.

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