Girls say im very cold

lilycamilly · 2022-10-06T13:32:32+00:00

You can be yourself and still be courteous. You can be honest without being brutal. What do you mean by being "sincere"?

Gloomberrypie · 2022-10-06T19:02:36+00:00

I got some context from some of your other comments.

Someone telling you that they’re interested in you BUT you’re too shy, weird, cold, etc is a giant red flag, regardless of the genders of those involved. If they really liked you as a person, they shouldn’t be trying to manipulate you into being more palatable for them.

tomowudi · 2022-10-06T19:26:54+00:00

A lot of the time when people are called "cold" it is because they are very "guarded" about their emotions. The result is that they look like they don't have ANY emotions even though they may have a LOT of emotions that they are struggling to deal with.

Sincerity can sometimes require vulnerability.

But if you aren't great at talking about how you feel, this can be very uncomfortable.

However, telling someone how you feel about them doesn't always require words. Sometimes a lot can be said with actions, or even by saying, "Every time I do X, it's my way of saying I love you. I feel useless with words, and I don't want to feel useless with you."

But honestly, if a girl is dating someone and flirting with you, I wouldn't trust her not to do the same to you as she is doing with her current future ex-boyfriend. Take people at their word, but TRUST what they do more than what they say. People are always true to their patterns, and sometimes that pattern is to mean what they say in one moment, but to do something different because their feelings have changed.

fathergoose77 · 2022-10-06T19:37:46+00:00

“Girls” as in multiple, different people have said this to you? Or just one girl, one time?

What were the contexts when they said this exactly?

And “cold” can mean different things based on context. Could be someone who is unkind or not empathetic to others. Or it could be someone who doesn’t express any emotion, maybe seems robot-like or closed-off (limited facial expressions, flat vocal tone, stiff posture).

Do any of those things seem like they might apply to you?

Nightchanger · 2022-10-06T15:33:23+00:00

Are you diagnosed with anything? Asking because if you have a baseline for long enough you think that's the norm while for other it may be unnerving. Just saying, check your sleep, or routine, stress level. And consult your GP.

Radiant_Specific6542 · 2022-10-06T16:31:08+00:00

Can you provide more context?

Rook_Cross · 2022-10-06T17:31:57+00:00

It may not be you but the other person. They may have just interpreted you as cold. Or, they didn't even think you were cold, just for lack of a better word said cold. Maybe ask people you know if you actually come off as cold, or if you take time to warm up to people. You don't have to change your personality for this girl, even though you like her. You want someone who likes you for you. If however you are cold and you feel it's because you're anxious, or shy, or something, then work on that by practicing talking and interacting with people more. It's good to get over a fear of rejection (for being cold, or whatever) and to do it bit by bit. Another thing can just be body language. Watch videos online about body language. When people talk with one another having "open" body language, facing the person, arms not crossed being attentive, shows you care about what they're saying. Doesn't mean you have to talk more or say cheesy stuff. May just be your not a good personality match. It happens, move on. Learn that it's ok.

MarketingSquare773 · 2022-10-07T01:30:02+00:00

Nobody is wrong for not wanting to live a lie. But, try then to figure out what you do want to live. I say this a lot. There is not a lot of sincerity in America. So, the girls/women too often tend to be insincere and dishonest.. Maybe it's time to find women who are not so American and retain different, more acceptable ideals and values, and thoughts.

I get it. You want a partner...not a pet.

I moved out of America because I didn't want to live that strained American life anymore. I'm happy in Italy. You should try to look for something and someone else than what and who makes you unhappy.

Ari9000plus · 2022-10-07T04:06:40+00:00

Find someone who fits your demeanor and personality. You aren't obligated to cater to someone's desires. Why not flip the script on her and just explain that she isn't "cold" enough? Forcing a relationship to work is the fastest way to misery. There are a lot of options out there, you just need to change your mindset from one of scarcity to abundance. Find someone who accepts you for who you really are. It's also ok to be by yourself.

2020mademejoinreddit · 2022-10-07T11:38:42+00:00

You're fine. The problem is her, based on your other comments down there. Move on. Get with someone who doesn't call you "cold" for just being sincere. You're not insecure either, you're confident in who you are. Continue on.

Also, this question seems like it belongs on Ask Reddit. Anyway...

TheChadofChad · 2022-10-06T20:58:40+00:00

Chances are you are cold because you are emotionless.

Be strong with your emotions. If you are passionate about something, it should be obvious by how your talk about it with emotion.

EmbarrassedEmu27 · 2022-10-06T21:06:02+00:00

What does your friends say about you? How about your family?

Seems like you both are not compatible.When you choose a partner think about traits that has bearing on your day to day life. Sweet talking is not faking sincerity it’s just harmless banter.

What are you afraid of?.

If you grew up in a home where people were not open about their feelings and said such silly things it might be a unfamiliar territory for you. Use some creativity and see how you can make them feel special if words are not your thing shown in action - cook a meal , surprise with picnic, do something she always wanted etc. There are plenty of ways to express love:

Egibson89 · 2022-10-29T10:24:58+00:00

U may be perfect for someone else.. is this something u have been told by other women?

If so it can be as simple as… smiling when u see them and interacting every so often. Or putting ur arm around them occasionally.

Don’t sweat it too hard, but try the smiling

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Title	Girls say im very cold
Author	sharedordaz
Upvotes	14
Comments	54
Date	October 6, 2022 1:29 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/xx5b24/girls_say_im_very_cold/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/girls-say-im-very-cold.1208580 https://theredarchive.com/post/1208580

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