Women and men are so different, for example, women get compliments and barely think about it. Same with flowers. Now, on the other hand, men are so put down, that whenever they get a compliment, they will never forget it. The first time a man receives flowers, is generally at his funeral.

User673412 · 2023-05-01T05:42:23+00:00

I’ve been genuinely complimented by a woman my age maybe 3x. Still remember what they said, who they were and where it was.

Kill_Da_Humanz · 2023-05-01T02:05:46+00:00

Women literally complain about getting compliments because it’s “creepy.” I for one would like to be cat-called.

Kentencat · 2023-05-01T03:40:45+00:00

I've always had calendar reminders for Wife, Mom, Mother in Law for birthdays, Valentine's and mother's day.

Last year, I sent flowers to my brother/uncle/brother who all work in the family business (I'm a few states away) on Father's Day.

Everybody in the family asked me why, and I told them that I'm 45 and have never in my life received flowers.

DunKrugEffect · 2023-05-01T05:35:08+00:00

Never forget a compliment? I can't even remember the last time I got one.

I was sitting in lab for a uni class. Usually 4 in a group (randomly chosen), but mine had 3. The 2 girls barely even talked to me when we had to discuss the topic at hand. And the fucking TA kept glancing over at me, which made me even more embarrassed. I was giving inputs and not being useless and they didn't even look at me and said "yeah maybe" like what? I asked a question. I felt so uncomfortable cuz they acted like i wasnt in thr group

I was like wtf am I a monster or something? I'm not asking for compliments (would be nice), just asking to at least communicate necessary shit. This happened in other classes too :(

Fuzzy_Department2799 · 2023-05-01T13:35:56+00:00

I had a long conversation with a fairly average if not slightly less than average woman i work with about this. She was annoyed because she had 3 different guys texting her for sex and dates at once. When i explained to her that men don't have multiple people chasing them every day and that men don't get constant attention and compliments let alone women texting for sex and dates everyday she didn't want to believe it. There were 3 other men standing there. All single and they all confirmed what i was saying and offered to show her their phones. She said well that is just sad. I told her to enjoy it because eventually its going to stop. She is 31 very petite and puts herself out there as an easy source for sex. She doesn't understand why no one worth anything wants to have a serious relationship with her. She doesn't understand she isn't relationship material for good men.

TheMorningJoe · 2023-05-01T07:47:53+00:00

Then there’s me thinking any compliment is fucking setup lol

Men will normally only get compliments when they need something

DiversityIsDivisive · 2023-05-01T06:55:24+00:00

I get complimented sometimes but it's virtually always achievement related. I've worked super hard to be good at my profession. I also exercise every day. My working deadlift is 450 lbs so I occasionally get compliments from other guys at the gym. Not from women though.

Dispositionate · 2023-05-01T10:02:54+00:00

I still remember, NINE YEARS AGO, when a girl at work said "you look really good in that shirt, it fits you so well!". I was super happy about that, and it made my day.

Then my GF at the time found out, and it accidentally ended up in the wash with some red and went from white to a weird pink and it was so messed up I never wore it again 😅

Vaudeville_Clown · 2023-05-01T06:51:41+00:00

I'd like to keep this consciously in my head and act accordingly. I'd more and more validate and compliment men for who they are. Women, well... only if they directly help out or accomplish something useful. :) Hey Congrats, you're the new "human doing".

People would notice though, and I'd probably get in trouble somehow.

Icy_Obsession · 2023-05-01T08:11:13+00:00

I've seen countless debate on this topic "why men get less compliments" with strangers on the Internet and with people in my immediate social circle. The pattern of this debate almost always goes like this:-

1) A man asks why men get less compliments in general.

2) A woman comes & tells that men overestimate / mis-understand women's compliment as romantic interest.

From this pattern, I get the idea that women think that men overestimate their compliments so they hesitate giving them compliments. But, this only gives half the picture. Now, let's ask "why women find it easier to ignore compliments?". The natural answer to this question is that women get lot of compliments so they find it easy to ignore compliments. She is unaware that because she is complimented a lot, she finds it easier to underestimate them. And, men don't so they overestimate. So, whether or not any person is overestimating or underestimating a compliment is the product of scarcity & abundance of compliments received by that person. This is full picture.

Someone in this thread said that women complain about getting "creepy" compliments. The reason of this can be easily explained by abundance of compliments. Because, women get lot of compliments on regular basis, they have the luxury to sit down & judge the nature of compliment & also the person delivering the compliment. They can set the standard & criteria of what type of compliment can be given to them & who can compliment them. Anyone who doesn't match that standard is "creepy".

Similarly, scarcity of compliments explain that men don't get compliments because of their lack of exposure to compliments. A perfect Catch-22 situation. And this will keep on going unless men are given more compliments. Because, it is only then their radar will be so finely tuned to not only brush off compliments and not overestimate them but also sit down & judge them.

ThomassPaine · 2023-05-01T15:25:48+00:00

I had often been complimented on my appearance by my mother's friends (the female ones) as a child....it was gross. Later on I was often sexually harassed by women and didn't really think anything of it since that was par for the course in how women were treating me growing up.

I'd later go on to be sexually assaulted by women and r*ped. But as a man, it was all my fault.

SerqetCity · 2023-05-01T21:07:07+00:00

I wouldn't want flowers, but if a woman gave me chocolate, I'd melt harder than the chocolates.

tcrun12 · 2023-05-01T09:56:24+00:00

My girlfriend got me flowers the other day. She saw a tiktok that was about men and flowers. First I've ever had. Didn't know how to react hahaha 😅

Rexanvil · 2023-05-01T13:23:10+00:00

I've received flowers and gifts from 3 girlfriends none of which were my 2 Ex wives the 2nd forgot my birthday and never bought me a gift over $5

Current girlfriend spoils my ass gifts every month on the 1st year of us being together Birthday

Christmas blew my mind just the thoughtfulness of anything (grew up extremely poor with young drug addicted parents)

ProPlayer1558 · 2023-05-01T14:31:37+00:00

Like there was this art teacher I had back in 3rd grade and one day in class he goes like ''Do you guys know there is one of the best guys that goes unappreciated?''

I was like yea nothing of my concern.

Then the class like started saying the names of the toppers GuyX ,GuyY ,GuyZ he was like ''Nope.''

Bro suddenly walked up to me in the 3rd bench and goes like ''It's this guy , GuyA.''

Then like complimented me for like 2-3 minutes, patted my back and left.

Later that week bro left school.

Met him after a very long damn time last year in December.

4got10_son · 2023-05-01T07:35:01+00:00

Or think they don’t mean it

EvidencePlz · 2023-05-01T08:54:56+00:00

This is true. I've received all sort of things from all sort of people but never flowers. I've even received poop (long story and won't go into it now lol) but never flowers.

Mouse-Man96 · 2023-05-01T15:07:37+00:00

Ngl this is why I try to compliment everyone including dudes

aigars2 · 2023-05-01T19:04:41+00:00

Funeral stuff true

pargofan · 2023-05-01T09:13:00+00:00

I agree that we're never complimented but isn't part of that our responsibility?

I rarely give compliments to other men because, well, that seems really awkward. Can't really explain it.

PrePresidentCarter · 2023-05-01T08:52:10+00:00

As a man I think it's hard to check if compliment is compliment or just a flirt.

At all I stopped taking care about that long time ago and only compliments that matters are from myself

Lolocraft1 · 2023-05-01T13:13:50+00:00

"The only unconditionnal love a man get from a woman is from his mother"

baby_budda · 2023-05-01T08:38:42+00:00

Sad but true.

tumblinfumbler · 2023-05-01T11:10:27+00:00

We are severely mistreated

sudev29 · 2023-05-01T09:41:48+00:00

So what's your point?

zogins · 2023-05-01T14:30:01+00:00

What do other straight men think of compliments from gay men?

7_Exabyte · 2023-05-02T09:39:02+00:00

I don't know where this notion that women are showered with compliments on a daily basis comes from. I feel like someone came up with this theory and others are just mindlessly repeating it. It may be true for women that are an 8 or up, but it surely isn't true for all of them. You might as well say all men receive loads of attention from women because Chads do. In reality, you don't receive compliments if you don't deserve them, no matter the gender.

achilochus · 2023-05-01T10:04:41+00:00

That’s ok, because they think that’s the difference of genders. Women get compliance because they are considered as goods and will be sold. You will give compliance to an iPhone but will not do to a person who bought an iPhone.

MichaelRah · 2023-05-01T16:00:07+00:00

I wear flower clips in my hair while working Door Dash and I get dozens of compliments a month.

Before you downvote me: have you actually tried wearing cute shit in your hair? You do realize women wear cute shit worthy of note. I wear cute shit, I get compliments.

AliceTheHousewife · 2023-05-01T12:25:52+00:00

Such broad generalizations and examples won't work well together. "Men this, woman that" and example you provided is what exactly?
While it is true, that women in general receive more compliments, it's not true that all of them do. Same goes for men. Also in this there's sort of apex fallacy here, as all the compliments usually go to the most attractive ones and those who make the best impressions through all means; be it appealing demeanor, clothing, simply as commendation for some actions or by association with materialistic aspect of wealth. But that part is true for both men and women.

The next aspect of whole conundrum is the fact that woman generally, tend to expect being complimented and therefore undertake more prior actions to cause such compliment, as shallow as it gets... If you look at the crowd and "judge by the cover", you most likely find more women that are clothed finely than well dressed men. Just for the sake of simplification, that observation may be clearer if we take the apparent age of people and set it between 20-35. While at this, what most likely also may come forth as most noticeable observation is how majority of people of both genders are dressed... badly – in aesthetic sense, albeit wearing good quality and clean clothing items. But that's my own remark, so for the sake of argument, may be dismissed.
And so, that women expectation of getting complimented I mentioned is pretty much the result of feminists actions that put a woman on pedestal in mentality of major part of the society through feminisation of majority of mainstream media channels and educational facilities, which both over time influenced a change in society itself on the course of past few decades. Also there's a "woman are wonderful" effect, but I think is rather arguable factor. Also some men follow chivalry virtues to a degree, which may cause courtesy.
This creates disparity in "base amount" of compliments being used between men and women in general, as both men and women in society are affected by aforementioned influence.

The point of it is, that women, through social conditioning are more actively pursuing compliments, and men, partially through the same mechanism at play, are willing to make these compliments.

Therefore, I'll leave the summary open, and instead put questions:
– Who compliments women? Why and for what?
– Who compliments men? Why and for what?
And: What are the compliment-worthy aspects and values for men and women? At this point, most probably will stumble upon something obvious.

AdIllustrious8907 · 2023-05-01T14:27:49+00:00

You guys are such bitches, grow a pair

Delicious-Agency-824 · 2023-05-01T07:10:05+00:00

True. Men see each other as competitors.

Also sometimes I see that men are being treated unfairly. On the other hand I also see I am getting laid more easily due to men being treated unfairly.

For example, if white men can just pay women from Asia I will not get sugar babies as easily

Psiborg0099 · 2023-05-01T15:54:06+00:00

Our experiences in roles in society are so polarized, we barely understand each other, no matter how much we act or think that we do

poloscraft · 2023-05-01T17:15:08+00:00

The only place I'm complimented at is my part time job at philharmonic. Usually about look (probably only because of suit) and politeness/manners (well, they pay for being polite). That's where I realised, that good look is everything and I can boost my overall appearance by elegant wear

YourPiercedNeighbour · 2023-05-01T18:17:30+00:00

The flower industry is garbage anyway, no losses perceived from me about never getting flowers

jawzrulez · 2023-05-01T20:53:22+00:00

It's rough though I can't help but see the irony when I left my job as a funeral director, I was given a lovely box arrangement of flowers as part of my farewell gifts. Hello my first set of flowers.

duckyboys8 · 2023-05-02T07:09:27+00:00

Men's value has declined greatly, while women's has increased, by design or not it's what's happening

Kentecloth · 2023-05-02T15:26:41+00:00

I am a woman and am genuinely interested and would appreciate some answers:

Do you (the men here) compliment each other? As in do you ever say nice things to your friends, compliment how good they are at listening or how funny they are, or a great meal they have cooked or how they have great style?

Or is this about compliments from women?

Us women tend to compliment each other a lot (at least amongst friends), so I was wondering what it was like for men.

ShennongjiaPolarBear · 2023-05-02T16:15:59+00:00

Seriously though. It's so true. I have one female coworker, and she's not even all that, but she pulls guys constantly. She just exists and they come. Straight men have implied to me that they went to gay bars to get any kind of attention. (This is wrong of course, but it shows how starved they are.)

-GoldenHandTheJust- · 2023-05-05T01:01:11+00:00

Your entire paragraph relies on essentialism/unverified assumptions.

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