I'm being forced out of house and she doesn't work

1Koala1 · 2023-08-02T17:58:59+00:00

My guy, so she told you she wanted a divorce, told you she filed, you received a court date in the mail and you just didn't go?

What did you think was going to happen that day, did you ask her if she was going?

JohnnyMnemo · 2023-08-02T18:00:50+00:00

Being a dumbass I never went to court to dispute all her negative claims about me so by default she won

You fucking what?

You set yourself up to work from a disadvantage, for sure.

Basic_Advance7627 · 2023-08-02T15:40:46+00:00

You need too get a lawyer who will fight tooth and nail. Basically the house should be sold and split. You shouldn’t have to pay for her. Child support… yes. Her a home.. no. Assets at worst should be split.

Doubledolla · 2023-08-02T15:41:15+00:00

Just because you had to move out doesn't mean she "gets" the house. All assets will be split 50 50 in the end and then you will pay child support and maintenance there after. She essentially just gets to live there until the division of assets unless you guys come to a different agreement. She will try to take it all but in reality it's 50/50 even if you made and paid all the $. If you owned your house before she came into your life you get the value/equity before that point and the rest is 50/50 from there.

half_brain_bill · 2023-08-02T20:45:36+00:00

She can’t kick you out of a house you own. Do not leave your house. My wife went to court without me(I’m disabled and can’t drive). It was uncontested so all the terms were hers. She wanted assets to split so we sold the house and moved into separate places.she took the kids with her. Now I hardly ever see them.

Doubledolla · 2023-08-02T15:04:01+00:00

You are in for a long ride my friend especially if this is how it's starting. Yes your gonna have to pay out the kiester and yes she is going to try to ruin you. Stick up for yourself and don't be a push over. At the same time you have to accept that most of the things you have worked for are long gone and you get to start over without that miserable witch. Take it slow one thing Ata time as when to catastrophtise the whole entirety of it all and future think negatively it will consume you. Focus on what you can control starting with your current reality and how you act and communicate with her. Be better and don't fall into the traps or fight or the finger pointing. Don't react to her BS. Prepare yourself before you interact so that you are already prepared to not be that guy. Having no regrets on how you conduct yourself through the process is something worth its weight in gold. You're gonna get screwed man....... the sooner you accept that the easier the rest will go. By saying that I don't mean give up and let her have everything......no not at all but you will be giving away a substantial part of what you have worked for in your life. She is not at all the person you cared about. She is your worst nightmare. Good luck

BlessedAF-FR · 2023-08-02T20:08:43+00:00

YOU DIDN’T GO TO COURT!?🤦‍♂️

I read everything.

Yep my friend, you just got divorce GRAPED.

Maybe better luck in your next life.🤷‍♂️🤦‍♂️

WHY DIDN’T YOU GO TO COURT.🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

silmarp · 2023-08-02T18:58:05+00:00

Thing is.

She did what many other women did already. They are all like this. I mean, not all women but women like your ex.

I don't want to put salt in the wound but it seems you need some rage to do the right thing so allow me to tell you.

If you go near the house you will see a new car in there. That is the man she was having the affair with and her new boyfriend from now on you are paying for him to be with your wife and yell at your children and because you didn't counter her claims you basically allowed this because silence is tacit. I know it was not your intention but the pick me dance creates this every single time. Your case is not even uncommon and not special.

You need to actively fight against her on the law system from now on. Don't break the protection orders and don't try to be a hero. She is doing everything according to what her lawyer and friends had told her. In her mind you are the most evil entity to be fought except when you give her that juicy money so she can buy t-shirts for her lover. You are either useful to give her money and evil because she doesn't love you anymore.

This is her. She has shown you who she is, so believe her.

Also, the laws varies too much from state to state so you better specify your state but your lawyer will create a better plan for you.

Doubledolla · 2023-08-02T15:37:13+00:00

That's probably a better question for your lawyer. Realistically, you have to have a place for you and your kids...... They need their dad regardless of how soul sucking that woman is.

life-is-short- · 2023-08-02T16:01:30+00:00

Tell her good luck in refinancing. If she does not work and considering current rates it is high probability to be sold or you can buyout

sicrm · 2023-08-02T16:26:31+00:00

before you agree to anything, I’d look into getting another lawyer and appealing the decision or finding ways to delay it.

look at it for her POV. she gets a rent free house that she has full control over while the divorce is being worked out.

she’d be in no rush. in fact, she’s an incentive to drag it out and break you down.

I’d look into and exhaust all options before submitting to that.

Flashy_Yam967 · 2023-08-02T16:27:15+00:00

In my state, for someone not working or under employed, their income would be favored as what their earning capacity is.

rsmiley77 · 2023-08-02T19:34:35+00:00

Not to pile on but first rule of going through a divorce is not to do anything to piss off the judge. Courts are often times already biased. Now you know that first hand.

To answer your question though in Pennsylvania where my divorce was, you basically have two periods after someone filed for divorce. The first period is from the filing up until the date the divorce is final. This period can take from 6 months to around a year and a half to get through. That’s for let’s say 95 percent of divorces. This is the period that’s going to suck. They will make it where you have hardly any extra money and honestly you just have to hold on until this part of the process is done. You will pay both spousal and child support during this period and in your situation now she will more than likely pocket about 55 to 60 percent of your pre tax earnings. I’d imagine that you will be paying for spousal, child support, along with a housing payment too. I’m sorry but prepare to be screwed financially for the next year to two. There is no reason at all for her to be in a rush to get past this stage.

I wish I could say that you’ll see a drastic improvement after the divorce is final but man you have a stbx who doesn’t work with three kids in a home she can’t afford. The judge most likely isn’t going to make her sell. He’s more than likely going to provide a large financial chunk from you and force her to work a meager job. Your best bet is to somehow settle knowing as little as I do. Man I wish I could give you some good news but for now you appeared to be in a prime place for getting screwed by the divorce system. You are honestly exactly in the place we try and steer guys away from.

If I was you I’d actually try my best and settle to keep my attorney costs down. I’d try to get fifty fifty custody. Obviously it’s important to keep the relationship with your kids in my opinion but it also has some secondary benefits like allowing you to get the child tax credit and limiting your child support. Good luck.

plangelier · 2023-08-02T20:35:32+00:00

Not a lawyer, but how is his payment on the house she is living in not considered spousal support? I realize since the loan is in his name he can't just pay her spousal and say pay the mortgagr because if she doesn't pay it ruins his credit.

GrayCalf · 2023-08-03T00:30:35+00:00

My suggestions to you are to:

Follow your lawyer's advice
Become at least somewhat knowledgeable on divorce and custody law in your area
Prepare for war
Show up for any court appearances or anything else, for the love of God

More than likely, she can't ride your gravy train forever. Will you get your house back? Probably not. Will you be able to sell it and get some money? Possibly. But that's why you need to follow your lawyer's advice and know the laws for your area.

And I'm sorry to pile on here, but for anyone else lurking -- the worst thing you can do is pretend like nothing is going to happen. Take control and run your life, otherwise she'll run it for you -- right into the damn ground.

69manu · 2023-08-03T01:14:33+00:00

7 months along and pretty much same boat as you. Currently paying house mortgage/bills, apartment rent/bills where I had to move to. Additionally paying an amount out of my check every pay day to her. Effectively am in negative after all bills are paid. Credit score a lot dropped due to amount I’ve had to put on credit. Was in the process of going back to court to reevaluate the terms - but will be in mediation soon. Hoping that resolves the majority of issues - if not will have to go back and ask how it can be fair I’m in the hole and she doesn’t have to hold a job of any sorts? I feel I should pay her support or cover the bills etc not both? But no idea if this is the norm. However I did go to court and my attorney filed a counter petition. Just waiting now. Hoping all this outlay gets taken into account when we go to mediation.

CoachBrad-Bradley · 2023-08-04T01:10:46+00:00

Life only gets worst for both of you. At least if you were married, life would be getting worst but the ROI is higher when you're together. Life is suffering in itself - here's a website that will answer all this

www.coach-brad.com

Title	I'm being forced out of house and she doesn't work
Author	Analytical-Aim
Upvotes	22
Comments	37
Date	August 2, 2023 2:12 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/15ga06l/im_being_forced_out_of_house_and_she_doesnt_work/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/im-being-forced-out-of-house-and-she-doesnt-work.1227210 https://theredarchive.com/post/1227210

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