A girl called me a "Drama queen" because I posted about difficult life is now after my mom died

pilotlet · 2023-08-12T13:24:50+00:00

It is within the chapter of misandry: "men do not cry"; "a man stays tough and strong in the face of adversity" and "only women can show weakness" theory.

matrixislife · 2023-08-12T14:18:13+00:00

Pure projection. Block her and move on, if nothing else it'll drive her insane.

Shavemydicwhole · 2023-08-12T13:35:19+00:00

[permanently deleted]

melancoliamea · 2023-08-12T12:48:50+00:00

I am sorry for your loss. You have 110% right to grieve and cope any way you feel you need.

Antarkian · 2023-08-12T14:07:45+00:00

This girl is, what I like to refer to as, a cunt. All you need to know

wwwhistler · 2023-08-12T14:36:07+00:00

you "friend" has a serious lack of empathy.

you might want to reconsider your continued friendship with her.

CutiePie0023 · 2023-08-12T12:44:06+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine that pain 💔 .. girls like that give good women a bad name. Men are allowed to grieve losses and they have feelings too. You can’t always be “stone cold”

VermicelliNo176 · 2023-08-12T14:14:07+00:00

Rest in peace to your mother, and that girl is a cunt.

pomegranate2012 · 2023-08-12T13:19:16+00:00

Probably nothing to do with being a man. Women do crazy emotionally competitive stuff to each other - aka toxic femininity. You won't hear about it in the media, however. You have to have a workplace with lots of women in it to experience it first-hand in all its insane glory.

Taser601 · 2023-08-12T14:03:25+00:00

Sounds like a bitch

kawasakizx7rMonster · 2023-08-12T13:54:26+00:00

I am so deeply sorry to hear. I can't imagine what you went through with your Mother's passing. No its not being over dramatic because your feelings seriously do matter brother. With best intentions sure your Mom knew how much she really meant to you.

2023-08-12T14:41:26+00:00

I experienced the exact same thing after I got severely depressed after the death of my mother (by suicide) from my now ex wife.

I am terribly sorry for your loss. I was in a similar situation. I was informed of her death via MS IM, and had to get back to my country in a hurry. On top of this, my mother always expressed she wanted to be cremated and thrown in the ocean.

By the time I arrived they had already made arrangements, my mother was buried in a casket in a family burial site right next to a person she despised.

CartographerMurky306 · 2023-08-12T14:18:00+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. Hope you get through it soon.

BeepBeepYeah7789 · 2023-08-12T15:40:06+00:00

I hear you, man

My mom passed away nearly two years ago too.

I know it's cliche' at this point, but her reaction says more about her than it does about you.

Keep your head up!

LettuceBeGrateful · 2023-08-12T15:53:21+00:00

Man, I'm sorry, that's a lot to go through. I'd feel the exact same way if I couldn't be with a loved one in their final moments.

The person who insulted you is an asshole and an idiot, and if you know her personally then the best thing you can do is cut her out of your life completely.

lexpython · 2023-08-12T16:23:18+00:00

It is very good to cut toxic people from your life. That girl is toxic, cut all ties

troubledtimez · 2023-08-12T16:23:48+00:00

Imagine how ugly she is inside. Sorry for your loss:(

Screamingidiotmonkey · 2023-08-12T16:06:21+00:00

Sounds like you got accosted by an emotionally repressed little bitch to me.

Healing takes time, especially when you lose someone in such a way that you weren't allowed the closure of being with her. She was lucky to have a son that loved her so much, and trust me she knew.

YesYesYesVeryGood · 2023-08-12T17:33:45+00:00

The girl found you in a vulnerable state and decided to attack you while you were down. Get away from her. She wishes you harm.

I'm very sorry to hear about your mother OP. My grandmother passedaway in 2005, and my mother and I still visit her grave to this day.

Rock_Granite · 2023-08-12T20:33:52+00:00

"Why won't men open up to meeeeee"?

eye_of_gnon · 2023-08-12T20:43:41+00:00

Block her

dvsdiablo · 2023-08-12T22:01:06+00:00

That girl is a bitch. Mourning a death is perfectly normal and you shouldn't pay her any mind. So sorry for your loss but stay strong and keep moving forward. Wherever your mother may be she still loves you, I truly hope your days ahead get better.

JACSliver · 2023-08-12T13:56:17+00:00

Ask her if she would like to hear what she said to you.

Mountain_Collar_7620 · 2023-08-12T13:59:52+00:00

So sorry you lost your mom 🤗

Caramel4life · 2023-08-12T18:09:30+00:00

Who cares what she thinks.Your mum would be proud to know her son has a heart.

ducayneAu · 2023-08-12T18:10:34+00:00

She just likes all the attention to be on her. A legit reason for it to go elsewhere momentarily is going to piss her off.

Yepitsme2020 · 2023-08-12T19:23:12+00:00

Same happened to me right after my dad died. I didn't even "Cry" in the traditional sense, just had a few tears in my eyes after I learned they had to pull the plug. This happened while I was out of the country, and my uncle called to tell me how he asked my dad if he could still hear him, because he was unable to speak and in unspeakable pain with 0 chance of making it. So he had indicated that he wanted the plug pulled instead of prolonging the suffering.

So my uncle asked if he could still hear and my dad squeezed his thumb. He then described to him how the room was filled with people who loved him and came from all over to be with him, and he squeezed his finger again acknowledging that and held on tight for the final 60 seconds. Hearing my dads final moments described was difficult and I think anyone would be hard pressed to not react to that.

Yet just a month later, the woman I was dating at the time who was right next to me as I took that phone call from my uncle, called me a "crybaby". Shocked the heck out of me, and that was the end of that little dating escapade.

I used to think it was greatly exaggerated when I heard men claim that women will quickly lose respect for men who cry or otherwise show hurt and emotions. Figured that was only an extreme minority of women. But the last 10 - 12 years I've been punched in the face by reality repeatedly and now believe it's far more common than most of us want to admit.

I've even seen friends lose their wives or at least be told they (The wives) were no longer attracted to them (The husbands) because they'd become too emotional. After all of this, I now just bottle it up in front of whoever I'm with. Even if something is overwhelming enough to justify an extreme/emotional reaction, it's just going to have to wait until I'm alone to come out. Sounds unhealthy, but I've seen the impact of breaking down in front of women I'm romantically involved with, and I'm done with it. The other part of this is even talking too much about your feelings even when asked. Have to be careful with the language and always balance it out with strong convictions.

Migraines, getting sick, or otherwise in pain - That gets bottled up as well - Keep it to yourself. Used to think "if she loves you she will care that you're in pain and it won't make her lose respect for you" -- No, and no... She might not let on, but there's a strong chance she's complaining to her friends about it, and is mentally re-filing you as weak. Learned that the hard way with my skull crushing migraines. Just head to the room, and turn off the lights and try to sleep it off without a word even if it feels like your brain is about to explode.

Too many comments about the pain and she'll just wish you'd shut up about it and "man up". That's what I learned she was saying to her friends. Anyhow, that's just my take on things based on what I've observed and learned. The only outlet I get is when I'm with the guys, or ranting online just like now. lol Is what it is.

SleeplessAndAnxious · 2023-08-12T20:23:35+00:00

I feel you man. I lost my mum in March after she was hospitalised with a stroke (ventricular haemorrhage). She was in hospital for about 8 weeks and just slowly got worse until she passed.

She was my best friend. She was kind, sweet and funny. Even though I was visiting her in hospital almost everyday I have guilt too that maybe I didn't do enough, that maybe if I'd tried harder to get her to see a better doctor prior to the stroke that it could have been avoided in the first place.

People seem to think just because you're a man that you can't be attached to your mother, and that you don't love or feel the same way a woman would for her mum.

Im currently looking for a grief counsellor to try and help me through it and I would highly recommend you do the same, grief and the following crushing loneliness is not something you should have to deal with by yourself.

Try and remember the good times, the things you loved about her. How she made you smile and laugh. Please don't blame yourself for not being there, especially if this was during covid when international travel was shut down. Hell I heard of family members who were at the hospital but weren't even allowed in to see their sick relatives because of the isolation rules. It was a fucked up period of time and nobody should feel guilt for something out of their control.

You loved your mum and she knew you loved her. I know wherever our mums are now that they wouldn't want us to blame or hate ourselves for what happened.

Ok_Persimmon5690 · 2023-08-12T21:28:19+00:00

I noticed recently that people can only validate their own experiences by invalidating others. It’s incredibly toxic, and this was a good example.

Comfortable-Union571 · 2023-08-13T01:09:45+00:00

That girl is a fucking cunt

Scarce12 · 2023-08-12T15:35:36+00:00

Social media has sure fucked her head up.

That's not normal.

DolbecEntertainment · 2023-08-12T18:27:51+00:00

You have the right to exist dude :) i hope she understand life soon because she probably have miserable existance.

thurstoner · 2023-08-12T20:02:19+00:00

So sorry for your loss dude. Can't imagine what you're going through.

Tell that heartless twat to get bent and block her.

norseman777 · 2023-08-13T01:33:55+00:00

That girl is a POS in anyone's book.

Scholarly_peasant · 2023-08-13T01:49:31+00:00

I'm sorry for your loss man. What an an asshat thing to say

DemolitionMatter · 2023-08-12T16:54:40+00:00

If you were a woman she’d empathize

NeoNotNeo · 2023-08-12T14:11:14+00:00

Wow. As I type not one upvote in the post. But highest upvoted comment has 25. There are feminist trolls who can’t give compassion to a man who lost his mom.

To the trolls. You have to go out and work. Men will not look after you. No amount of red hair, pink hats, screaming, or nonsense about the patriarchy will absolve you from looking after yourself.

KrazyJazz · 2023-08-12T14:43:32+00:00

Man, it's the law of the land unfortunately. Human nature. You open yourself on social medias, get ready to face meanness if not outright cruelty. Tenfold when you're a man in 2023. Excuse my french but fuck this bitch. You know her? Cut her off your life, move on and that's that. You don't? Why even to give a shit?

onlywill121 · 2023-08-12T16:14:02+00:00

I think her her out of your life whoever this girl is. Sounds like a toxic bitch

RabidusRex · 2023-08-12T17:56:29+00:00

What a cunt!

please excuse my language.

but while we are on such a topic, I'm compelled to compliment your writing skills. You have a natural talent for such things, homie.

I'd love to hear what else you have to say.

OChinchinLordofDark · 2023-08-12T19:06:26+00:00

reply to her: Sorry your mom didnt love you enough.

Jafarinator6898 · 2023-08-12T19:37:40+00:00

Very sorry for your loss. There will always be humans who just don’t respect other people’s problems. Hope you can one day move on🙏

doctorstrangexX · 2023-08-12T19:42:09+00:00

I'd run from that, she sounds like a bitch.

My condolences, grieve as long as you need ♥️

GlassHalfFull132 · 2023-08-12T23:20:32+00:00

Literally just ignore her - she's toxic, clear her out of your life and go have a pint with a few mates. She's obviously just a sad-sack.

MaulScarreign · 2023-08-13T03:50:15+00:00

ignore people like that or flat out tell her to keep her ignorant comments to herself. pain is relative. just because other people lost a mother doesn't mean you don't have the right to mourn or be in pain.

perogy1 · 2023-08-13T04:30:30+00:00

My mother passed 1. 5 years ago and I have yet to get over it. I spoke to her every day for the past 15+ years, talking to her about her grandchildren, how each day was going, etc. When she passed my soul was crushed, remains the same. Although we knew it was coming soon, I never thought it would impact me so much. I have a new irrational fear of dying, and sometimes want to die, but my kids keep me grounded as I do not want them feeling what I am earlier than what fate will allow. You're not being dramatic.

TheGirl333 · 2023-08-13T05:37:47+00:00

Block her and never ever attempt to talk or forgive her, she has issues and needs to see a doctor

virphirod · 2023-08-13T07:30:21+00:00

block that misandry bitch. You deserve better, brother. I'm sorry for your loss

Nevek_Green · 2023-08-13T09:39:12+00:00

My sympathy. Call her out for her behavior. Just be matter of fact about the matter. Let her dig her own hole.

StarZax · 2023-08-13T12:31:23+00:00

She's a pos, that's really about it. Nobody with a healthy mind would ever think talking like that if it was about a guy mourning the loss of his mother.

Stay strong bud

AmmaronsRepository · 2023-08-12T13:13:08+00:00

If my mother was murdered and I was forbidden from seeing her I would be furious. There’s no drama in that. These are the same people who will tear you to pieces for Misgendering them

DiversityIsDivisive · 2023-08-12T18:04:44+00:00

In the RPG of life your feelings and sensitive thoughts are precious, like gold coins in a leather bag. There will always be trolls under the bridges of life who will jump and swing their clubs when they hear the jingle of coin. So don't go shaking your purse when you're out and about. Only open it when you need. And if you're going to dump it out on the table then only do so in the security of your own keep in the company of trusted party members who have been with you through thick and thin.

I know it's not how it should be. But that's how it is

Paramanga · 2023-08-12T19:47:21+00:00

Wow! That is messed up. That’s like being told by a cat that you are meowing too much!

NumerousStruggle4488 · 2023-08-13T00:58:28+00:00

Show people how shitty her attitude was

DecentAd3950 · 2023-08-13T06:11:52+00:00

Sorry to hear about your loss ❤️🙏

Neko404 · 2023-08-13T06:50:37+00:00

Yeah it is hard. You lost someone who loves you unconditionally. Possibly the only person in your life who ever has given you that kind of love. And when you felt low and hurting instead of compassion it was weaponized against you. It is not men preventing other men from expressing their feelings. It is women. The pain will never go away but it will dull over time.

Cowboy_Yankee · 2023-08-13T15:58:12+00:00

Grieves the loss of the closest female family member, gets shat on....

Sorry brother for your loss. Ignore and block this person; no need to engage with trash.

-The_Gray_Ghost- · 2023-08-13T16:33:22+00:00

Sorry you lost your mother. It sounds like it's been very challenging for you. Mine passed away from Covid, too, and I never got to see her while she was in the hospital. Don't pay any mind to insensitive assholes that are trying to shame you or bring you down. Just allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you feel and know that the grieving process takes time.

Efficient_Plan_1517 · 2023-08-14T17:53:27+00:00

My mom also passed 2 years ago, and all I have to say is that this person is insensitive.

I still grieve, especially because I am expecting my first child now, and my mom will never get to meet him. :(

Moms are a special figure in most people's lives, and I think it's fair to post about your mom!

DrewYetti · 2023-08-15T17:23:34+00:00

Women say men should be more emotionally intelligent and yet display the lack of understanding and empathy towards men’s feelings.

NameIs-Already-Taken · 2023-08-12T16:01:33+00:00

Women love to shame men. Avoid such women

savro · 2023-08-12T15:51:55+00:00

It seems when women say they want men to share their emotions what they really want is for a man to tell his woman how much he loves her and how great she makes him feel. Any negative emotions that he’s experiencing about his life, job, other people, et cetera? He should keep those to himself and deal with them on his own. Those are “icky” and make him less attractive.

Dunkman83 · 2023-08-12T22:07:44+00:00

as a man, youre only allowed to pay bills and die.

anything outside of that is "gay"

WillWatanabe · 2023-08-12T23:24:46+00:00

That "girl" is a troll.

WarProgenitor · 2023-08-13T03:54:38+00:00

She's projecting her own lack of emotional capacity more so than complaining about you deciding to be vulnerable with yours.

She probably is mad that someone said that to her, assumes that is just how the world works, and wanted to hurt you in an attempt to make her feel better about herself.

wad11656 · 2023-08-13T09:46:30+00:00

Yep. If you're a man with emotions, you're a laughable pussy who should suck it up.

But If you're a man without emotions, you're perpetuating toxic masculinity and are unapproachable.

Shoeonhead just released a video on this hypocrisy:
https://youtu.be/rQv8VuLpKN4

Astral_Atheist · 2023-08-13T15:13:32+00:00

I lost my mother to an autoimmune disease during covid, and because of the PCR testing restrictions, I couldn't make it in time to say goodbye to her in person, because I am also living in another country. I lost my husband 5 weeks before my mother, and I also am living alone now. I 100% feel you on the guilt of not being there with her in her final moments. I am so, so sorry that you lost your mama this way💔

I do know that my mom would NOT want me to be feeling guilty about this. She did want me to be happy and to enjoy my life in ways that she was never able to. I honor her by living my best life, by doing things that bring me joy and appreciation for her sacrifices. She worked so hard so my sisters and I could have a better life than she did.

I don't know your mama, but I'd think she would want the same for you. It seems like you both loved each other very, very much! You will not only honor her life and hard work by finding your joy, but you will also be honoring yourself.

Grief is a process. It can take years to get through. And the pain never really goes away. We just learn how to live with it. That girl that said those horrible, callous, disrespectful things to you, should have no place in your life. She has no idea what she's talking about, and frankly, she doesn't deserve to be in your space, as unsympathetic and unempathetic as she is. You are a human being and we have feelings. Period. Feel your feelings. If you are able, please seek out grief counseling. There are a lot of places that can help with it, free of charge, like local parishes, hospices, etc. You deserve to live your best life. I am positive that your mama would want you to ❤️

fishmonger7 · 2023-08-15T12:14:27+00:00

I’m sorry to hear that brother. That girl is a complete and utter moron with no empathy

Pablo_the_cat · 2023-08-12T17:49:20+00:00

Well.. There will always be people like that, men or women.. My deepest condolences to your plight though, my fellow man. We all should always, as a rule of thumb, ignore the stupid shit the special needs children, we call women, say.. They are, and always will be, pointless creatures until they fulfil their true roles in life. Whether it's their way of calling for attention or what ever reason they have, we cannot condone their behavior, at any point.. Condoning their behavior, validating their points and cuddling their "needs" is the very reason we're in the position we're in now. Again, deepest sympathy to your situation dude.. I can't even imagine losing my mother and I'm 43.. But the time will come and it's going to be horrendous. The only woman who has actually loved me for who I am.. and what is left? Empty words on the prospects of security, until they get bored.. Nah..

Hazzman · 2023-08-12T17:51:07+00:00

Sounds like she has major issues of her own and is taking it out on you. I wouldn't take it personally.

1CRB · 2023-08-12T13:13:11+00:00

What platform was this on ? Post the girls username here bro

Top-Bumblebee8411 · 2023-08-12T14:17:14+00:00

I don’t know if she was a bitch. I want you to hear something. My dad died 6 months ago. I have friend. And his parents died. And it affected him greatly. For three years he was depressed and it ate him alive. It destroyed his life. He was a mess and it changed the course of his life.

So when my dad died. I told my daughter and my son that when I go. I don’t want that to happen to them. I want them to LIVE and be happy. That I will be disappointed in them if they morn me too long or too deeply. That I want them to succeed and to thrive. Not wallow in Guilt and sadness. And I felt the same way about my dads passing. I loved him. He was a great dad. But I KNOW he would want me to live and be happy. He would be upset if my life fell apart.

And if your mom loved you she would want that too. She would want you to forget her and live. She would be upset about your never ending sadness. It’s a moms job to see you independent. It’s what she would want.

So please stop. Stop with the guilt. Stop with the pain. When you feel the pain coming on just say no. I dont want to feel that today and move on. It’s what she would want. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind.

Please let me know you read this.

chewiesnutshot · 2023-08-12T20:04:20+00:00

Remove that person from your life. It’s also best to not complain as a man especially publicly or to your gf or wife.

If you have a good male friend or two it’s ok to open up here and there but if you do that all the time they’ll likely not come around anymore.

The best thing you could do for yourself is study stoicism and start practicing it. I recommend Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations to begin.

A daily practice you can also start is to meditate for at least 20min everyday if not longer. Vispassana is my preferred kind.

Keeping a journal that you write in each night before bed or even throughout the day can help greatly in both the need to want to dump everything inside your head and heart on others and it will organize your thoughts.

Workout. Every single day you should be working out with no excuses but injury or extreme illness. It will not only make you look better but feel better from the happy chemicals released by your muscles and your brain.

I’m in my thirties awaiting back surgery unfortunately but before that I did 100 pushups in a row each morning and I did sit ups until failure no counting. It helps tremendously.

You could try therapy but in my experience it’s designed for how women think and feel not for how men do so.

Regiment your day. Each night I make a list of what I will do tomorrow and check it off as I go. It helps you stay organized but also helps you feel accomplished.

I lost my daughter many years ago and eventually my wife shortly after so I know how loss affects us.

somebullshitorother · 2023-08-12T21:47:01+00:00

The internet really magnifies how much human trash is out there. Someone would eventually have to say something that stupid. Focus on the 8 billion other humans who are not as awful.

Ercian · 2023-08-12T23:51:20+00:00

I wonder how many likes did the cunt's comment get?

Swami_of_Six_Paths · 2023-08-13T12:53:26+00:00

Tell her to not be over dramatic abt getting raped. Loads of girls have it happened to them

Prestigious-Focus-62 · 2023-08-12T19:48:36+00:00

Bro, I know you don’t want to hear this but I will say it anyway . No one gives a fuck. Except maybe your family and very close friends. Such a thing shouldn’t be posted on social media and it’s supposed to be in your close circle of friends and family.

Zenia_neow · 2023-08-12T16:27:26+00:00

What does this have to do with men's rights? I'm most cases women are going to sympathize with you

Guilty-Relation-3062 · 2023-08-12T15:10:29+00:00

I wish what she thought or said mattered, and she is definitely wrong BUT my man you can’t post stuff like that, people don’t care they just want to use your vulnerabilities against you and if you’re going to openly display them then the resultant is infront of you, talk about this to the people who are close to you, your brother any man you trust, just don’t post and look for online validation that is just a never ending rabbit hole and is never enough.

Dry_Satisfaction_623 · 2023-08-12T17:28:42+00:00

Posting that kind of stuff online is a very womanly thing to do though

McGrowler · 2023-08-12T13:49:09+00:00

Man I’m all for men’s rights but making a Facebook post to everyone up know about being sad is so weak. Talk to a therapist if you need to but don’t wastes everyone’s time making them read sad things.

MarshmellowHitMan · 2023-08-13T23:17:38+00:00

Give us her name so we can shame!

Title	A girl called me a "Drama queen" because I posted about difficult life is now after my mom died
Author	KaiBuTsu91493
Upvotes	945
Comments	160
Date	August 12, 2023 12:36 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/15p3ikt/a_girl_called_me_a_drama_queen_because_i_posted/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/a-girl-called-me-a-drama-queen-because-i-posted.1228403 https://theredarchive.com/post/1228403

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