Just like the title says wife proposed divorce 4 months ago and we're still married. A little back story. We've been together for 10 years and married for 6 years. Just like all marriages/relationships you get comfortable with each other and get a little lax on being the best husband/partner you can be so things can get stale in the relationship. Not going out so much or at all, just going to work and then going back home. That was her reasoning for divorce, the marriage got boring. Our love for each other was always at 100% with no question but it was just boring. Which I agreed to the marriage getting stale but divorce wasn't the resolution.

The job I was working at is no longer around but I worked early morning hours 1am-3am and she worked more reasonable hours 6am-7am. So when the misses wanted to go out I would be a bit of a stick in the mud or if we did go out I would have "this face" (aka not having fun) about being wherever we were. I blamed work for the way I would act and having to be up early in the morning, but the misses wasn't having that excuse. So that happened off and on throughout our relationship. Its not as bad as I make it sounds but of course that's through my perspective.

In April she has the idea the thing that would fix our marriage is divorce. I suggest counseling, NOPE, she has all the answers and knows where everything started and where everything went wrong so there would be no point for that. We lived in an apartment and she wants to move out. So naturally she goes to her moms and then I'm left to figure things out for myself. I'm currently living with a buddy of mine. Fast forward to July we have to split the rent check for the apartment.

We finally meet up then she drops a bomb on me. She says how sorry she is for everything and everything that's happened to me and shes regretting her decision but she wants to continue this "journey" shes on. That fucks me up. Now everything she said gave me hope for our relationship. I was under the impression she moved on, so I had no choice but to move on too. In the time from April to July I took some reddit advise and went to the gym and I started an online course for a new career, in the mean time found a job that doesn't suck. Now all that is pushed to the side because I can't focus on anything. Then to make things worse she calls me a couple weeks ago again apologizing for the way she treated me in the past years of the relationship and all the things shes put me through (bitching, nagging, all the "I needs" from me) and then that fucks me up even more, but she still want to see where this journey leads her. I'm not sure if that's her "clearing" her conscience or what. She also says the many times I called/messaged her and she didn't answer she was to much of a coward to answer the phone or responding to text messages. I don't really know what that means.

On August 17th its been 4 months from April 17th (proposal of divorce) of just no progress. Of course we had to move out the apartment and figure things out and all that took time but still nothing. She doesn't hate me and I wholeheartedly believe her but if she was so dead set on divorce why hasn't she done anying about it and in turn leave me hanging on to the what if's & maybes and frying my brain on different scenarios or things I've should've done differently. I called her recently and pointed out the fact that its been 4 months and all I get is ignored calls and messages.

Just like all relationships you go through highs and lows together. You learn everything about your partner, you go through every natural life experience with them. Learning about each others family, deaths of loved ones, births of new family members, sicknesses and all the money issues. The hardest thing I've been dealing with is all the memories/experiences with my wife. 10 years is a long time I know there's marriages longer than mine, I'm only 33, shes 36. We got together when I was 22 and she was 26. I've been with my wife for 1/3 of my life shes all I know. That's what trips me out the most, how she could just throw away 10 years. I know there were things wrong with the marriage but never did I think that divorce would fix our issues.

Anyways, sorry for the long rambling story. I hope what I said makes sense. Any advice/help is greatly appreciated. I have checked out therapy but living in the great country of USA any type of medical care comes at a premium. Again thank you whoever you are that lends any type of help to this mess of a mind that in between my ears.