The worst part was…

Impossible_Sport291 · 2023-10-05T20:49:23+00:00

My brothers all get on to me for not being over it by now. They think that, just because they are over it, so should I be. They seem to forget that the relationship between them and my wife was not the same as between me and her. Divorce is one of those things that requires you to experience it to have any valuable perspective on it.

MartyMcFly7 · 2023-10-05T19:19:06+00:00

The initial consultations where you realize the more money you make and the more you’ve sacrificed is all ammunition for your own destruction.

Yep. Like how I thought I was being a great husband by allowing my ex to quit her job and stay home with the kids. When it came time to divorce, suddenly I owe her because she hasn't worked and wasn't able to "advance her carreer." Lady... if you wanted to advance your career, you shouldn't have begged me to stay home!

I worked for 25 years to keep us fed, housed, insured, and entertained. I didn't drink, cheat, do drugs, or lay a hand on her or the kids. All I wanted to hear was: "Thank you for getting up every morning and going to work to take care of us." What I got was: "You should've quit your job and found one that paid better!" She would look at her richest friends (not her poorest ones) and blame me for not giving her the same lifestyle.

But karma's a bitch; she's now burning through her settlement money and driving for Door Dash. She told our son she only made $3000 last year. All I can to that is, "Well, maybe she should quit that job and find one that pays better."

Some women just aren't worth the hassle.

hillbillyswan · 2023-10-06T02:40:59+00:00

Yeah, like I thought that paying for all the bills for my family meant I was doing the right thing and being a good provider? Turns out that despite the fact that my wife makes THREE TIMES what I make I am not entitled to anything because yeah, she made way more than me, but she still paid less of the bills. It's amazing that they calculate it that way. Like, so what if she has three times the earning power I do, she took advantage of me during our marriage's life and so now she gets to take advantage of me in our marriage's death by contributing NOTHING towards her child having a good life. The law figures that if I can afford all the bills, why can't I also afford half of all the food and diapers and clothes that she used to buy? Never mind the fact that my income barely covered our family's basic expenses and her income was pretty much entirely disposable to her other than our food and clothes.

Because she was able to manipulate me into paying for more than my fair share during our marriage, nothing I can do now can compel her to pay her fair share towards the basic upkeep of her offspring now. And that's why our system is fucked.

Jimbothebimbo696969 · 2023-10-05T18:26:05+00:00

My wife makes more than me. I’m gonna try and get what I can from her. She ruined my life and 13 years I can’t get back. Only thing that came of it was I have a beautiful, smart daughter. She is my world. Other than that, my ex is a bitch and I should have known, once a cheater always a cheater

GloomyPomegranate818 · 2023-10-06T00:20:05+00:00

I figured out the secret to this riddle: Do what you love and don't worry so much about the money. It will all work out and you will be happy. Trust me.

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2023-10-06T23:08:14+00:00

The bacon is why you’re getting divorced. Seems like broke couples stay together more because they actually need each other.

northdakotact · 2023-10-05T19:59:25+00:00

I can tell you this. We lived on a well to do street, 17 homes and we lived there for almost 20 years. Most of the marriages were unhappy, guys being miserable waiting for the divorce. Almost all of the woman on that street were awful.

BlackFire68 · 2023-10-05T23:29:35+00:00

Yep. No one figures out the entire game until it’s over and there are two boxes to put the pieces in.

It’s like having an execution scheduled for 7-10 years from now and you scrounging around that entire time to find and supply ammunition for the executioners gun.

Bernie51Williams · 2023-10-06T04:17:34+00:00

The worst part was:

Married to a zombie that will never ever EVER show she ever cared about a single bone in your body until you leave her.

S4z3r4c · 2023-10-06T13:24:29+00:00

My entire group of friends are married and I'm divorced...all mid 30s.

Even if you just play the odds, at least 4 of them are headed to divorce but refuse to believe its even possible "their" wife could go down that route.

TNwhiskey901 · 2023-10-06T16:09:13+00:00

Man this is all a sobering read. I’m also the single guy in the friend group, and everyone else is still married and most seem pretty happy all in all. Some friends are doing exceptionally well and others are pretty average income. When I hang around them, I see the real life, ugliness of fights and things like that but the women don’t leave. It makes you scratch your head and second guess what went wrong and what you could’ve done better. I’m four years out from my divorce and I think I still struggle with the identity of not being a married guy. I’m a family man through and through. So it’s a tough position. Of course all my friends think I’m living the dream. At this point, I’m sort of numb to dating, because nothing substantial has happened outside of hookups in 4 years. Girls seem to want to just come over and hang with me but not have a relationship. It’s the culture here I suppose. To me it gets tiring mostly cause I don’t have anyone to rely on. Don’t get me wrong I love my alone time and the peace of my house but between working a lot and taking care of my kiddos (50%) , I am exhausted. Fortunately I have a great career and can save and be comfortable but I don’t have much time to date. I would love a sweet girl to want to take care of my kids and I at the house. That would be a God send. Just a gf. Not getting remarried anytime soon. But again the culture has infiltrated the majority of women. they don’t need a man, boss babes, hyper independent, liberal, not accountable etc. and however, they feel is their truth. Hard to find a girl that wants to take on two teenagers I guess. My dad tells me he’s never met anyone that has been on as many first dates as me.🤣 finding dates has always been easy for me but progressing from there is the riddle. I’ve had one girlfriend in four years. I don’t pretend to not have my trust issues and I suppose they can sense I won’t open up to them very well. I’ve been crushed the few times I have. In summary, if we are in our prime in our late 30s and have all the “checks in the boxes” for what women are looking for, then why is this so hard? Why are my obese friends who have an average income, never dealt with divorce? If women monkey branch, why am I not seeing in my friend groups? Maybe I’m missing something.

Title	The worst part was…
Author	Reflog1791
Upvotes	48
Comments	30
Date	October 5, 2023 6:05 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/170oshq/the_worst_part_was/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/the-worst-part-was.1234278 https://theredarchive.com/post/1234278

Comments