There is a lot of focus on young men being red pilled, but the truth of the matter is that married men can become red pilled too. My wife hates the fact that I have been red pilled and asks me "why I get so obsessed about men talking about dating strategies, they are a bunch of Incels." I like to tell her, we Incels take offense to that term as it is derogotory. To me, getting red pilled is not about unfairness in dating but the unfairness in relationship dynamics in modern society. My journey into being red pilled started with being in a sexless marriage. At one point I went 1.5+ years without sex. I am 45+, very fit, earn $450K+, 5'6" tall (damn the height!). My wife is a psychologist, makes $100K, doesn't work out, is frumpy, is 2 years older than me and has been going through perimenopause for about 5 years. Due to her perimenopause I would make sexual advances and be rejected. After a while, all of this rejection made me depressed and I started sleeping on the sofa. I can empathize with her condition, but I still need sex. To me there was information asymmetry. She knew what was going on with her body. I did not. It was up to her to see how we could still be intimate in that context. It was not my obligation to go to her like a beggar, hat in hand and deal with the emotional torment of being rejected and the thirsty elation when a bone was thrown my way. It was demeaning and depressing. I, on the other hand, continued to meet my obligations as a man and provide for my family. Providing for my family makes me happy. It gives me purpose as a man and knowing that I do it at the 1% level, gives me a bit of pride. Sorry for being so boastful. However, not having sex for over a year and providing at the 1% level, kept me up many nights thinking about how I got here and whether this was fair. I was in my prime, I worked hard all my life, I was doing my part as a man, but I was sleeping on the sofa in my own house, masturbating. Honestly, over that 1.5 years there were a handful of nights where I thought about killing myself. I quickly brushed this thought aside because of my son, but my sadness was so deep because of this. This is what started my red pill journey.

Since then, I've realized that in some respects the red pill has made me a better man. Recently, my wife and I got into an argument over some petty stuff. During that fight, she essentially threatened to divorce me and made it seem like she was waiting for my son to be of age to make that move. Because of the red pill, I've realized that this is a common mental model for women. It is cheap / easy for them to get divorced so this thought pops into their head readily. For me, this thought never crossed my mind, at least not in any serious way. Getting divorced would mean that I would go from being rich to sort of well off. I would lose my beautiful home. The 401k that I invested into aggressively and one sidedly would be split in 2 . Even in my darkest days, this was not an option.

Weeks after this argument I told her, "you know, I know you hate the red pill and you think it's toxic. I do too in some respects, but in others it has made me a better man." I told her about the perpetual undertone of divorce in our relationship and that it has always been there. I told her the red pill has made me more secure and confident in myself and who I am and that helps both of us. I told her: "Let's start from the fact that you hit the lottery with me." I looked her right in the eyes as I said this and held the gaze. The look of understanding and realization washed over her face. I'm not saying I'm a perfect man, but this perennial threat of divorce was neo-feminist bullshit I was not willing to take any more.