If you don’t know how to play the social game , women will think you’re evil.

ComfortableJeans · 2023-11-17T17:17:09+00:00

I've always had the opposite experience.

I'm not great socially, often I have no idea what to say unless I really know the person. I'm a shy guy who keeps to myself. I used to do a lot of work with animals. Strays, sick animals, that kind of thing, but even doing that I was by myself 95% of the time. That was my most social activity. I'm just not built for that

But women have always been mostly willing to metaphorically take me by the hand and guide me through social stuff. More than happy to take the reins. They always seemed happy to do that kind of thing with me. Relationships I've had have been with women who loved those things about me and would tease me about being shy, blushing, that sort of thing.

Guys were kind of the same... Minus the relationship stuff. If a little bit more rough.

I'm a bit of a weird dude, I'm aware of it. But I've never had anyone be anything other than accepting of it. I think a lot of people realise that I'm weird, then make the extra effort on my part. Which I am always greatful for. I get a LOT better the more we get to know one another.

richard_golbes · 2023-11-17T17:22:24+00:00

I recall watching my wife hang out with her friends , and whenever a picture of a dog / cat came up they all had to say “awwwwh “ in the same pitch.

I can't imagine having this sort of contempt for my partner.

TheLonerCoder · 2023-11-17T20:58:50+00:00

Some women will but meh. I dont post on social media and still get women lol. Last time I posted was like 3 years ago. I dont think most women care as long as you have friends IRL. If you're a complete loner without social media AND are socially inept, you'll be seen as creepy lol

Cool_Relative7359 · 2023-11-17T16:52:09+00:00

I feel very bad for autistic women / disadvantaged women that seek friendships with men because other women are ruthless towards them.

As an autistic woman, please don't feel bad for me. I have friends, both men and women. They're just also mostly autistic or ND in some other way. Not because allistics don't want to be my friend, but because I use a lot less social spoons when I don't have to "translate" everything I say to the allistic neurotype or social model. And I prefer it that way. I never "played" and always chose my friends based on who also didn't "play".

Gitsumrestmf · 2023-11-17T17:11:32+00:00

Lower class men are less likely to exclude , but I also see them playing more “toxic masculinity “ social games , like punching each others shoulders , when shaking hands squeezing it as hard as they can (in their 30s! Wtf), playing knuckles etc

What now? "lower class"? This is just boys being boys. And 30s - YES. Not just that, 40s and 50s and sometimes even 60s!

If you don’t know how to play the social game , women will think you’re evil.

So women think autistic people are evil?

LillthOfBabylon · 2023-11-17T16:59:01+00:00

I mean they’ll think you’re a creep / stalker / murderer etc.

That means something fucked up was said or someone’s personal space was violated.

I recall watching my wife hang out with her friends , and whenever a picture of a dog / cat came up they all had to say “awwwwh “ in the same pitch.

…….Seems either youre not understanding basic human reactions or you’re with people that act like hiveminds. Thats a choice.

feel very bad for autistic women / disadvantaged women that seek friendships with men because other women are ruthless towards them

Why not other autistic females?

SeveralLiterature980 · 2023-11-17T22:52:35+00:00

Women are not particularly socially competent, and this canard needs to die. Furthermore, "social competence," especially when dealing with people you don't know well, is primarily a function of superficial characteristics --- your looks, your race, your height, your clothes. Nothing real about you has anything to do with whether people are deferential to you when you speak or how willing they are to comply with your social agenda. It's important to internalize this.

You’ll see posts about man doesn’t know how to socialize = something wrong with him. Etc

Just like with the nonsense terms "emotional connection" and other vague nonsense, let's explode this one too.

A man "not knowing how to socialize," = a man not respecting the unwritten social hierarchy.

That's it. That's all.

I generally find men more relaxed , depending on class when it comes to the social bar.

My experience with middle class men - they have some social standards , and will enforce them through exclusion.

Men are more inclusive generally and pay more attention to attributes like intelligence. But once women are around, the value of those qualities drops like a stone. And as time goes on, men get worse.

Women are far more exclusive and for far more superficial reasons than men. https://highstreetgent.com/2017/06/09/the-tables-have-turned-when-it-comes-to-dating/

This behavior isn't just limited to dating. This is simply, if x is around and living a human experience, if x fails to meet whoever's criteria of attraction, they will be ignored and avoided.

tl;dr

The social game = respect the current social hierarchy.

Nothing more or less.

MistyMaisel · 2023-11-17T17:01:52+00:00

A man not knowing how to socialize by a certain age does have something wrong with him.

A person with autism also has something wrong with them (there's a literal diagnosis for it that's how off it is).

Women don't have to say awww at the same pitch, we just tend to all like cute things and at a similar frequency of *sees cute thing* and *immediately reacts to cute thing*. But a woman not reacting is not a problem.

Ruthless is not an accurate depiction outside of perhaps high-school settings. They just don't want to deal with this stuff. And there's no reason for them to. I also don't want to deal with people who cannot somewhat closely abide by the rules and shared agenda of the group. So yes, they get excluded, because they're asking to be excluded by not abiding by what makes the group the group.

As for thinking someone is a creep/stalker/murderer. We don't think they are, we think they could theoretically be since we don't know anything about them except that they refuse to abide by the social standards outlined. If they're willing to actively ignore those, what other rules don't they feel apply to them? They probably aren't anything of the above, but who wants to find out when it's your head on the block? No one.

John_Oakman · 2023-11-17T16:54:20+00:00

Of course. Being capable of within the standards of normality is how most animals gauges danger levels. Deviations from the norms are often associated with diseases and/or predators in camouflage.

This instinct served humanity pretty well from the dawn of time and it'll continue to do so until the end of time.

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RevolutionaryFig929 · 2023-11-17T18:56:33+00:00

"when shaking hands squeezing it as hard as they can"

In my country a weak handshake means you are an untrustworthy person.

fiendishthingysaurus · 2023-11-18T07:37:58+00:00

Im an autistic woman. I don’t find most other women to be brutal or ruthless towards me.

Title	If you don’t know how to play the social game , women will think you’re evil.
Author	Grouchy_Cookie_7813
Upvotes	30
Comments	68
Date	November 17, 2023 5:16 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/17x7qp9/if_you_dont_know_how_to_play_the_social_game/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-you-dont-know-how-to-play-the-social-game-women.1238694 https://theredarchive.com/post/1238694

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