Does the Madonna complex cause relationships to get ruined?

More-Tax-62 · 2023-11-29T03:03:08+00:00

Bruh you can throw em a complement... If you're meeting on a date, telling them a compliment will be well recieved unless:

blowing smoke up their ass. "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." She knows it's not true and you do too
stop complementing in a self deprecating way. "You're way out of my league. "
get too sexual too early for most serious prospects. Ass boobs etc.

Specificity can be better, like hairstyle or what she's wearing.

And to escalate it to sexual, on a date you can do that without mentioning sex at all. Like holding strong but not scary eye contact. Being confident in your interaction with her. And if yall have reasons to touch, do so.

l00ks-p1lled · 2023-11-29T02:31:27+00:00

sorry to break this to you but maybe they weren't really attracted

Girls don't friendzone guys that they like

Wattehfok · 2023-11-29T06:55:36+00:00

My dude - there's a space between creepy comments and monkish purity you can drive a truck through. That's where you wanna play.

You wanna throw in some compliments - go for things that are personal but aren't obviously sexual. Her laugh, her smile, the way she crinkles her nose. Things like that are obviously familiar and signal interest, but don't immediately look like you're trying to get into her pants.

But any compliment you give had better be sincere. People are pretty good at telling when their ass is being kissed.

And don't overdo the volume of compliments either - just a couple is enough. If she's into you, she'll remember them - trust me.

Excellent_Badger123 · 2023-11-29T03:11:23+00:00

Madonna/Whore thinking was a giant reason for the breakup of my former marriage. As soon as I became visibly pregnant with our much wanted and planned for baby after 7 years together, I went from whore/wifey to madonna/mommy and it never changed back. He just couldn’t see me the same way/lost attraction after that despite many efforts on my part to fix it. I spent my 30’s into my mid 40’s virtually sexless as a result. I got friendzoned in my own marriage & it was not fun.

Barneysparky · 2023-11-29T02:23:58+00:00

I seriously dated a tech guy a while before I met my husband. In hindsight, he reminds me of the guys here.

We broke up after our grey sex started going vanilla and I found he had placed an ad for "a caged cock slave whose only purpose is to serve man".

During the argument that ensued I found out that my bedroom had gone dead (in my eyes, not into vanilla) because he loved me.

During my lifetime thats the only time I ran into the Madonna/Whore thing, but its also the only time I dated a guy from a very different background then myself. He was that one tech guy who got his slim goth fantasy, and he imploded.

MikeArrow · 2023-11-29T02:08:16+00:00

I do the same, I never, ever, ever indicate sexual interest until and unless they do it first. Then it's like the dam breaks and I have to control myself to not go from 0-100.

wtknight · 2023-11-29T03:01:39+00:00

Women will give hints when they want a conversation to turn sexual. A man doesn't have to force it. That's probably a bad strategy. If a man doesn't learn how to read the hints and to react in a way that enhances a woman's attraction to him, then yeah, he's going to end up in the friendzone. Or even worse, the woman is going to stop talking to the guy altogether. That happened to me a couple of times when I chose to ignore sexual hints from women who were attracted to me that I wasn't attracted to.

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harmonica2 · 2023-11-29T02:03:40+00:00

There are certain women you can ask for sex straight up pretty much and certain ones you can't. I try to read the person, if that is what you were asking?

WilliamWyattD · 2023-11-29T06:09:11+00:00

I don't think true madonna/whore happens that often. Mostly with rich men with lots of options. Generally speaking, if mommy gets back in shape and there is time for sex, hubby is gonna want to fuck her because men like sex and she is his main or only option.

A lot of what is called madonna/whore is just one or both getting too ugly, or too much stress and not enough time due to kids.

As for sex talk, I generally believe that if you are talking about sex before you have had it, you are reducing your chances. But also don't play the friend. Women want a guy who has strong sexual desire, in general and for her. But who also shows that he is master of the little head and not the other way around. It's the same for male aggression and capacity for violence.

So you can show her you are very sexual, particularly for her. But don't be vulgar or on the nose about it.

justforlulz12345 · 2023-11-29T11:29:02+00:00

Women did it to themselves

They told men that their sexual lust was immoral, thus pushing men not to sexualize women they respected

Men see their own sexuality as sinful

Independent-Mail-227 · 2023-11-29T10:13:26+00:00

Repeat after me Madonna whore complex DO NOT EXIST and Freud is pseudo science, it's worse than scientology because at least scientology is not taken serious.

MistyMaisel · 2023-11-29T04:07:18+00:00

Stop lying is great advice in general.

You aren't that guy. You do think about sex clearly. You are pretending not to in order to...what make women think things about you that aren't true so you have a shot with them? And it isn't even working? Try being yourself.

Now, with that said, let me try to express values, a better version than the ones you're working with:

Don't be a lout or a pig. The fault of those men isn't that they're sexual, it's that they're uncomfortably sexual and overly familiar. Think...wearing only a g string to your grannie's house. It's purely inappropriate and it isn't concerned for its audience.

A flirt very much wants the lady to feel comfortable, pleased, enchanted, and appropriately recognized and addressed as both a lady and a sexual being. He cares about her desires and fulfilling those desires and her feeling pleased and comfortable through out that. Both. These things are not in conflict.

A pig doesn't care because all sex and flirtation are about him and the woman is just a target and an object for his desires and his lusts. She's a means to an end.

If a girl is flirting with you, match that back. It's ok to raise the temperature a notch even (think a stove, she's at low, you give low, low low back and forth, you're free to turn it up to medium). If she doesn't like that, you'll know quickly and can go back to low and express extremely light apology or nervousness or that you like her to fix this. But if she likes it, cook at medium for awhile and let her move for high.

Despite what men will tell you here, women make moves for what they want and matching them is not being a lout or a pig. And having patience to let her move on you isn't being a dork.

SupposedlySapiens · 2023-11-29T02:50:48+00:00

I wouldn’t say it ruins relationships, but it makes them more complicated for me. If my brain classifies a woman as a Madonna, then it’s very difficult for me to initiate anything sexual with her. But if the woman gets classified as a Whore, then all I’m really interested in with her is sex.

Safinated · 2023-11-29T04:59:44+00:00

Desire for women’s bodies is common, easy and selfish. Desire for women’s minds and company, not so much

Green-Quantity1032 · 2023-11-29T08:18:55+00:00

I don't compliment much either, but I touch.

Sit close to her, unintended hand/elbow touches at first - then leg, the let your hand stay there.

In my experience, even when all the conversation is normal - touching lets her know you're not just there to be a friend.

Make sure to kiss at some point.

I think in the last 5 years I only told 1 girl she was beautiful, it was after we kissed and she was stunning.

^ I don't recommend not complimenting, just saying it's not necessary

No-Rough-7390 · 2023-12-01T03:01:19+00:00

Making your intentions clear as early as possible avoids all of this.

apresonly · 2023-12-01T20:34:15+00:00

its a good idea to not make sexual comments to people you just me, regardless of the reason.

you should have enough of a relationship with someone before making these comments to know that they will likely be well-received.

you def don't want to trick women into thinking you are someone that you aren't, but its def never at any time in history been normal to tell a stranger an R-rated comment before knowing them.

Title	Does the Madonna complex cause relationships to get ruined?
Author	Consistent-Gur6932
Upvotes	16
Comments	68
Date	November 29, 2023 1:37 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/186d8jj/does_the_madonna_complex_cause_relationships_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/does-the-madonna-complex-cause-relationships-to.1239568 https://theredarchive.com/post/1239568

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