How do you move on

Academic_Mistake_751 · 2024-02-24T00:37:15+00:00

I downloaded bumble and tinder I met a 22 year old she moved in she’s now 24 , how juicy she is and that she doesn’t need boobs or Botox like my crusty X

I didn’t do it right away I wish I would have my X whored on me too

Adventurous_Fact2083 · 2024-02-22T20:45:08+00:00

Would you want that back anyway? Think of the STDs. Like my wife has.

Sweaty_Ad_9820 · 2024-02-22T19:17:10+00:00

Dunno. Dont think I love my wife but after a long time change feels crazy also.

Coach_Teddy · 2024-02-22T09:16:22+00:00

My partner cheated on me with a good friend, the friend I introduced her to. She filed false charges, and I was forced out of the house I paid for. She made my two-year-old daughter call him "daddy," and I became a part-time dad, living out of my parents' house. I contemplated ending it all, but the thought of giving up on my daughter was worse than what I was going through. Instead, I slowly but surely started on the road to recovery by rebuilding one small piece at a time. Fast forward seven years, I now have the most amazing relationship with a kind and considerate daughter. I also met the real love of my life in Sweden and created a new family unit. If you believe in something, whether it's God, the universe, or Buddha, and know you are working towards a better day, it will find you. But staying stuck in the past and trying to negotiate what's been lost will keep you in that torment forever.

No-Boysenberry3045 · 2024-02-22T08:13:05+00:00

I appreciate all the comments here. Change is difficult but not impossible. It's been around two months since she ask me for a divorce. It hurt like he'll. It was not an ugly divorce. She gave me the fell out of love story. I had no idea she was not happy. I'm going to miss her. But I never have to do it again . So my awnser get up and move. I came out of retirement went back to work considering a second part time job. Ride my motorcycles and mountain bikes as often as possible. The marriage is over. Life is not.

Saucypanda208 · 2024-02-21T07:48:11+00:00

I Haven't moved on either bro, my wife and i recently split up, she wanted a divorce and I could do nothing but go along with what she wanted.... We've been together 12 yrs and we have one son together he is 1½ months old and she took him from me and is giving me the hardest time about seeing him or even sending money monthly. it's like a switch flipped and she flat out hates my guts, but I love her with all my heart.... Idk if some people ever move on they just accept reality and put it in the back of their mind and just live with it the rest of their lives. iv tried to go on a few date but they seem dry, shallow,boring or flat out not right, I know I should hate this person now for ruining our family ruining my life infact wasting 12 yrs of my life to just reject me one day..... I hope your situation gets better stay strong brother keep on keepin on.

Enough_Youth_4564 · 2024-02-21T06:41:48+00:00

It’s not because of you that she went with someone else. It happens to everyone, men and women. Just write her off and move on.

Eddv98 · 2024-02-21T06:30:08+00:00

Thank you all I thought I would be alone in this but this helps.

Decent_Camp8065 · 2024-02-21T05:04:39+00:00

You’re always going to miss the limb that got hacked off. You may even feel it in some capacity forever. But, you learn to live without it and make the most of being an amputee. This is not a post about amputation.

ColSolTigh · 2024-02-21T04:18:32+00:00

Step back. Rub your eyes. Take a fresh, new look at her.

I bet two of her friends actually look better than she does. Admit it.

Lucky_Idiot210 · 2024-02-21T02:58:12+00:00

Dude I get it it sucks but you gotta do the stuff you like on your own for a bit and it’ll hurt a little less, it is what it is and no matter how much you wanna change it you can’t, in the end I hope you did try your best and well it didn’t work out with yall it’s how it happens sometimes unfortunately. Try to stay positive but don’t harp over someone that didn’t want to put in the work for you. Be who you are and you will find it even better with someone else, and I’ve been there man

MidniteOG · 2024-02-21T02:00:33+00:00

There’s no easy answer, but time. Even then it’s a long process…. What does help is not seeing who she was, but who she is

Is0prene · 2024-02-20T16:50:48+00:00

You are probably in love with the idea of what your marriage could have been. That was the case for me. Once I realized the amount of emotional abuse I took in and discovered lots of new hobbies and passions I was able to find joy in the things of today and stopped living in the past. Time is the ultimate healer. The other things I mentioned just speed up that time a lot.

dday_throwaway3 · 2024-02-20T16:11:24+00:00

Even if you reconciled, you could never trust her again. Ever.

You've got to get over her. There is no "the one". Soulmates are a myth.

Apprehensive-Cost496 · 2024-02-20T15:32:09+00:00

Just echoing what others have said but women are different mensch. Once they taste the poison apple, they lose everything for you no matter what. Eject her and move on to new things. There are lots of women out there that will make you the center of their universe, better to have that vs. someone who wno't respect you if you take them back.

New-Amoeba9042 · 2024-02-20T14:16:38+00:00

I had to accept that she slept with a rando, and once she did, she lost all feelings for me and was addicted to new dicks, and was never going to be the same woman again.

It took over a year for that obvious truth to sink in.

I liken it to once she cheated, it was like a bullet hit my leg and it immediately developed gangre. There was no way of curing it, it had to be amputated, but I kept waiving away cutting it off for years hoping it could at least be healthy enough to stay attached, even if I couldn’t walk on it.

But like a leg with gangrene, it had to go or I would die. And while my life will always be worse off, much like a guy whose lost a leg, I’m still alive and can live a life

Joocewayne · 2024-02-20T13:53:29+00:00

Realize that at this point the woman you loved and married is gone. You are in love with a ghost of a memory. You’ll have to grieve her loss just like a death, every day for a while. It’s harder than grieving the death of a loved one, because the person you loved is still out there, living life and getting dicked down, with no thought of you. Let her be. Don’t chase. No matter what you feel. Look up the gray rock technique. Now is the time to focus on YOU, NOT HER.

You’ll go through the stages of grief. You’ll deny, bargain, despair and then rage at the betrayal. Then you’ll finally let her go and move on. This is why you really should find a therapist. Please take care of yourself and know you’re valuable and worth it. Your value isn’t based on her. She’s a betrayer and her opinions right now are based on adultery triggered emotional fantasy.

There will be the odd day far in the future where you’ll grieve it, well after you’ve healed. This is ok. Feel it and let it pass.

Heavy_Guitar_4848 · 2024-02-20T12:09:50+00:00

That slow burning misery part is absolutely true. Campers, boats and a big house with in ground pool never fixed it for me.

upvotersfortruth · 2024-02-20T08:41:53+00:00

Grieve, recover. If you take her back after this, you will need to accept that she can "go out" with whomever she wants whenever she wants - because it will never stop.

Also, she's done. It takes two to make a relationship but only one to end it.

foookie · 2024-02-20T08:31:46+00:00

If it doesn’t work out between them she might return to you as plan B.

The relationship and marriage is over and you have to accept that. Even if she came around the mental images of her with another man penetrating her every hole and making a crime scene out of the sheets will always play in the front of your mind.

You can never trust her again. The marriage you had has been nullified and you truly are better off being distraught now and going through the intense pain than a lifetime of slow burning misery.

She’s one of many, let her have what she wants. Which is not you but another man.

She doesn’t feel what you feel, while you’re barely functioning she’s riding a high off euphoric chemicals of the honeymoon phase of her new relationship.

Even when it ends, it can never be the same.

The pain only lessens once you allow it to, it can last years or a lifetime if you don’t take measures to curb it.

Title	How do you move on
Author	Eddv98
Upvotes	12
Comments	30
Date	February 20, 2024 8:06 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1avcgpi/how_do_you_move_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-do-you-move-on.1245908 https://theredarchive.com/post/1245908

Comments