I knew something was up, she hit me with the divorce talk after new years and we have been going through individual counseling and a couples counselor and I have really been trying to make something out of this. Ideally she would reconsider and we would keep going with a stronger relationship, now I know about the lies.

I have been working incredibly hard on being a better person, husband, and father but I was not seeing the same effort from her, I have her space and time and really tried to let things normalize and waited for something but deep down my instincts were telling me something was off. All the while she was swearing and promising there was nobody else, and that she has no sex drive or libido at all so it wasn't even something to worry about. I went to a dark place a month ago and checked all of her emails, reddit accounts, and everything I could see on discord but found nothing. So I kept moving and tried to get past it but it never went away that something was still hidden.

Today on a whim while waiting for her to get home I opened her laptop and broke my rule about invading her space and logged into her discord account for one look at her DMs to finally put it to bed and there it was. She was having a virtual affair with someone she games with and it has been going on for a long time. Conversations, sexts, photos. All the damning evidence was scrubbed afterwards but the text proves it all. While I was upstairs with the kids she was having phone sex with this guy late into the night and masturbating with him. She lied to me so many times and if I didn't have the laptop out when she came home she would have lied again. She lied to my face, our counselors, and the marriage counselor and it has been ramping up in intensity and frequency.

I was carefully controlling my anger during this whole process but it really let out when she was scrambling to downplay it as an accident. Months of Cumming with another man while you tell your husband that you have no interest in sex is not an accident.

I made her leave, I have the kids and am taking tomorrow off so I can think, at some point she is going to come over so we can talk about it. I had to actually tell her to cut contact off with the guy if she wanted to be in this house, and she fought me on it.

I am struggling to Grey rock but I am so amped up I've been shaking all night.

What the hell am I supposed to do?